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Kestrel had been on her own for almost as long as she could remember, she'd been young when something happened to her pack. She really hadn't known what. She had vague memories of her family, a tough father, an older brother who'd revered him and followed in his paw steps...and a pupsitter who'd disappeared when no one came home. Those memories are the strongest. She didn't remember her mother, and for some reason, that made her sad to think about when it crossed her mind. She was grown now, had been lucky to cross the paths of some wolves on occasion who taught her skills, but none of them wanted the company. They left her too. Would everyone?

She'd been wandering the land for a long time, or least felt like a long time to the youngish wolf. She was lost in thought as she approached the sea. Water was calming, and she longed to lay on a warm rock in the sun and watch the waves. She was making no attempt to conceal her presence and was surprised by the male voice that greeted her. "Who's out there? No harm will come to you...". She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before taking the last few steps through the trees, head low, wary of what may come.

"H-hello? I'm...Kestrel...I'm sorry if I bothered you, I didn't mean to.." Halfway out of the line of trees she paused with one paw still raised. "I...I just wanted to see the sea." She'd not been socialized much as a pup, nor had the time to be before they were gone, so felt very out of her element when speaking with another wolf. Her stance was still proud if wary, but far from scared as she looked him over, trying to decide if he was truly friend and not foe.

She chuckled a little at the question of home, lowering her paw and visibly relaxing some. "Far from home? Yeah, you could say that. Haven't had a home since I was a young pup." She sighed a little as a distant look came over her gaze as she watched the waves, a sense of both longing and sadness to her posture. Eyes still fixed upon the ocean in almost a dream state, she approached near River before stopping beside him and sat on the sun warmed rocks and just let the sound of the water carry her away into her memories.

"Barely even remember it. My father was the alpha...and my brother...oh he idolized him. Constantly followed him about. Then one night they left....all of them but one left to do...something, I don't remember what. No one came back. Eventually even the one who was left left me too...don't remember much else of them, or even what feeling home felt like." She turned her head to look him in the eyes, and studied for a moment, curious, before returning the question. "What about you, are you far from home as well?"

"Trying to rebuild your pack, huh?" she murmured a little, trying to figure out if he was the son who ran or someone else in the pack who just wanted his home back. His clearly uncomfortable sigh, led her to think now might not be the time to ask the question. His offer was enough to distract her from that line of thought entirely.

She was silent as she studied the waves for almost an uncomfortable amount of time, TRYING SO HARD to think back, but it was of no true avail. It'd be long enough ago that she no longer remembered such a major detail. Shaking her head, she finally shook her head, a clearly disappointed look painted on her face. "I'm so sorry, I really don't remember. I guess it just wasn't important enough to me at the time. We were a very small pack, and Dad was very much against outsiders, but not much more do I remember. Not even really where the den was. So much of my life then and for awhile after is gone in this...sort of fog. Blurred together..."

She paused, trying to think back again, but quickly gave it up and shook herself to clear her mind, her mood changing. "I did meet a healer once who said I may be blocking the memories for some reason, and that used to be bother me, but I've spent a lot of time thinking....and I'm actually good now. I may never find out what happened, and that's okay. I can live with that. I can breathe, my body is whole, and my mind is my own. The day is beautiful, and THAT is all that truly matters. The here and now."

Her stance had taken a much more poised and confident look to it that it had been lacking when trying to figure out the past. It did make her sad, but she'd learned that dwelling on the sadness did nothing to change it. She would focus on today, and the fact she was alive and revel in it each and every time she awoke. She'd had little else to truly keep her going. "Hey...uh...in this pack of yours...do you need some help? I can help if you'd like. It's sorta silly to say, but....I want to find where I belong. I'm tired of wandering, and I'd like to help as long you'll have me around..." Taking deep breathe she asked, "Will you tell me about it? How many are in it now?"

Kestrel was taken back and surprised by the offer to be his Beta. She was silent for a moment, a part of her panicking wondering if she could do something like lead others. Was she strong? Could she truly do this? It didn't last though, the thought of having a place to belong overrode the panic, and her heart swelled in joy. She still wasn't sure if she'd be up to the job, she was young and would have to work hard to gain the respect of the others, but she vowed in her heart to make River proud of her. She could barely contain herself as she finally nodded hard when words failed her, tail wagging excitedly.

"Y-yes....yes yes yes!"

For a short time, she reverted back to a pup, dancing around him excitedly before finally flopping down, panting, and feeling the happiest she could every remember. "I've never led anyone, much less a pack....glad it's small right now, do you think you'll have the time to teach me how?"