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 Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 7:04 pm
A year could change so many things. And nearly a year could change just as many. Perhaps not…everything. But enough that things could be unrecognizable.
Her hair had grown down to her chin, and was back to her old, deep brown, sans her bangs which she kept that light pastel rainbow. Just because she was changing things…didn’t mean she wanted it all to change.
There were times that she might have thought about missing the bug in her head. Thought that she would surely not really miss the guidance it provided, and the ease with which she was able to stay on the right path. There had been no distractions when she had the bug. No nagging feelings of guilt. No worries about falling off track.
A light at the corner of her eyes made her pause, and the General glanced up, watching as some of the paper stars in the tree nearest her lit up and twinkled merrily.
Stars. Like Cosmos Knights.
For a moment, Cavansite closed her eyes, trying to push away all thoughts that she shouldn’t be having. Couldn’t be having. But finally she opened them again, only to see that the tree on the other side of the road was lit up now, and even as she watched, it went out, and the one a little further down lit up.
…What sort of magic was this?
For a moment she debated just teleporting out of there, but finally, the General began to follow the lights, biting her lip as one tree lit up after another. As she walked, she began to feel the aura of another General, and for a moment wondered if this was some luring ability from one of her fellow agents. If so, it was quite impressive.
When she saw just who it was though, Cavansite slowed, her mouth going suddenly dry.
Painite.
The one who had been hurt the worst out of all of this. The one she had tried to never think about. Who she had abandoned in an effort to save her. Painite who she loved with every beat of her heart…
…And who had spoke of purifying with her.
Closing her eyes and taking a breath, Cavansite felt so much of her resolve begin to crumble. Her heart was pounding and all of the walls she had built up, keeping her fiancé out of her mind…keeping her out of the reach of any of the General Sovereigns crumbled.
Swallowing hard and feeling just a bit dizzy, she finally managed to croak. “…Painite…”
What sort of magic was this?
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 7:20 pm
Painite was not doing anything. The easiest thing to do, she found, was nothing. sure, it did not feel great, but it was all she had. At this point, she was pretty used to not feeling great. And she knew she could certainly feel worse.
She was staring up at nothing when she caught a little glow in the distance. Some string lights or something, for whatever stupid thing this stupid city was celebrating despite knowing how bad it always went. She was not sure why, but she followed the little lights, finding them strangely...
Calming.
She felt the aura later than she should have, dragging her eyes down from the stars and lights to settle on the source of the chaotic power. She stopped abruptly, as if running directly into a wall. It occurred to her that she had given up hope of ever seeing her again, let alone running into her because she was following some stupid lights.
"Cavansite..." she said, mind going blank. She had so many different ways she wanted to react, her brain shut down in defense. "what... where...?"
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 7:33 pm
If she were to be honest, Cavansite was surprised to see that Painite was still…Painite. She would have bet high stakes that her fiancé would have jumped ship, would have purified and found new happiness within the White Moon. But…here she was. Looking as beautiful and radiant as ever with her dusty rose hair and those mint colored eyes that left Cavansite breathless.
The General hadn’t meant to, but she found herself taking a few steps closer, her arms reaching out towards Painite. Her old General. Her lover. Her fiancé.
The woman she had abandoned for her own safety.
How could she ever explain any of this?
“I…you’re here…” It was a pathetic thing to say, and she knew that she must look as stunned as though the dead had risen. “I…I thought you would have…would have purified…I…”
Cavansite swallowed hard. “…I tried to protect you…they found me out…General King Axinite…”
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 7:44 pm
"Protect me? When did I ever ask anyone to protect me? When have I ever needed it? You DITCHED me."
Painite could not help the anger she felt welling inside her. It happened every time she allowed herself to get close to anyone. They left her. They betrayed her. They forgot about her. She spent a very long time pretending she was okay with it, that she did not need anyone, then she let her defenses fall for one shimmer of hope.
She let someone in, let them change the way she thought. Let them trick her into seeing more, seeing better.
Then nothing.
Every instinct told her to run into those outstretched arms, despite her anger, but she did not move. She could not move. She growled, tears stinging her eyes but she did not allow them to fall.
"You think I would have just purified and ditched out without you? We were supposed to do that together: I was waiting for you. You put this idea in my head, and now I'm useless. I was happy being a monster, you know. Maybe I wasn't a person, and I didn't feel anything, but at least I knew what I was doing. Now what do I have? I don't enjoy anything. I can't hunt or play. And now? I'm scared, and I'm lonely, and I'm miserable. I hate everything I am but the only thing that made me good, that made all the doubt worth it, just disappeared."
She moved, curling her arms around her fiance and hugging her so tightly she thought she might break the other, but too afraid now to let her go.
"But of course I would wait for you, you stupid idiot. I love you."
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:03 pm
Cavansite winced and screwed her face up, nearly taking a step back. This wasn’t…how she had wanted things to go. This wasn’t how—
And then Painite was hugging her. And then with an almost physical snap, the world righted itself again.
Her arms curled tightly around the other General and she trembled with the rightness of it all. For so long she had pushed away her longing, pushed everything away.
“I love you too…I…we can’t purify, Painite…we just can’t. Not now. I was punished by Axinite…he put a youmaglia in my head to keep me loyal…” Cavansite found her words coming fast, as though she were afraid of something stopping them if she didn’t get it all out quickly. “I lost one of my recruits…he died…and I tried to grow closer to the others in my care but…I couldn’t. It was hard to feel anything too deeply…”
Quietly she moved her hand up, playing with her love’s hair. “…I kept you hidden in the back of my mind. I dared not even think of you lest the creature know. If it saw…if it knew…I know Axinite would have called you in and tried to recondition you…or I would have had…”
She was shaking now, trembling with the effort of speaking, with the effort she was putting into holding Painite against her.
With the effort of keeping back her sobs and not slipping into hysterics.
“I…went to the General King…told him that I was loyal now…and he removed it…I can think of you again, I can hold you, love you…I can…I can come home…”
Cavansite sniffled then, all of her strength deserting her. “…If you still want me.”
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:11 pm
"So. what? I'm just supposed to go back to pretending I can be that monster again, after everything? Just stay in this mess because it's scary? Nothing scares me more than losing you, and I already did that. No one tells me what to do: and if they try, I show them have very stupid they are. I've never bee scared of those idiots in charge, and I'm not going to start now." She was still very angry, bitter and jaded, but she clung to Cavansite for dear life. She ran her hand through the other's hair, and bent closer, shutting her eyes and kissing the soft skin of her too-long-missing fiance's neck. "I always wanted you. I never stopped. And if they come for you again, I'm not going to be hidden away. I'm not going to let you push me out again. I'd rather die for you than be shoved off to the side."
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Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:54 pm
Cavansite closed her eyes, feeling as though she had been punched. The hope that she had allowed to build up, deflated quickly, though the kisses and caresses gave her some hope. Though she hated the sudden part of her that wanted to just run away with Painite, that wanted to run and hide and purify and start a new life with the woman. A life away from Axinite. Away from ‘Nubi, from Mourite. Away from everything.
She shut those thoughts down quickly though and just pressed closer to Painite. “No. No you don’t have…have to be a monster…You can just be yourself. Come and meet my recruits…they’re good kids, Painite.” And they were. Most of them were just kids and she couldn’t leave them.
What if they got hurt? What if they lost their way?
“I…I want to come home…please, can we go home?” Cavansite wanted nothing more than to curl up on her couch with her love in her arms. Wanted nothing more than to sleep and escape from the cares of the world. “I love you…”
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