“How is any of this possible…?”
The moments leading up to the here and now were nothing more than fragments of memories. It was like trying to watch a slideshow after the carousel had fallen off the projector and someone haphazardly put the images back in a random order. The only thing she truly remembered doing was making herself a scalding cup of coffee, putting on some warm clothes to go outside and just enjoying the scenery for a bit since it had been such a clear night.
Then there was a sudden and intense pain.
It felt as if she was having a heart attack. The mug she had been holding fell to the ground, instantly melting the snow at the end of the dock as she clutched the front of her jacket to apply pressure to her chest. Thinking back on it she could have sworn she had heard footsteps crunching on the snow or the sound of a woman’s voice but her memory of either were so vague that she wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t making them up.
Marisa squeezed her eyes shut. Unable to bare the agony any longer, her body became lax and without even realizing it she fell forward. It was not the soft snow that cushioned her fall, rather it was the solid sheet of ice that shattered beneath her weight that became her her watery death bed.
Thoughts of drowning were the last thing she remembered before darkness overcame her entire being as her body sank to the bottom of the lake.
“This isn’t real…” Though she couldn’t feel the cold, Marisa’s hands shook as she looked down at them. The webbing between her index finger and thumb had been torn when she had tried to remove what she thought was a prosthetic and blue dye, only to quickly realize that this wasn’t something that was on her but rather an actual part of her body. Even the horns on her head could not be removed, they weren’t something glued to her scalp but rather fused to her skull.
For hours Marisa remained kneeling in that same spot, hot tears rolling down her cheeks as she tried to make sense of what was going to no avail.
Alone. Confused. Angry...
Out of all the emotions she was feeling it was actually that anger that startled her the most, it felt foreign and feral. Going as far as pulling a snarl from her when she felt something, or rather someone, approaching from behind. It was a warning to stay away, something the uninvited guest seemed to not understand. At the moment she was nothing more than a wounded animal and he was too close for comfort.
~~~
The tingle of an energy signature had caught Lopezite's attention, not because there was anything necessarily interesting about it--just that it existed. He had been in the area for a while now, passing here and there and couldn't find anything.
It wasn't as though he had many plans this evening; aside from patrolling, looking for something to do, this was about the most interesting thing he could imagine himself doing.
Trying to find an energy signature that didn't seem to come from anywhere.
And then, on his third trip around, he saw her.
A form, at the end of the dock. Sitting there, alone, in this weather?
But the signature had to be hers.
He approached with caution. "Miss?" he prompted. "...Are you all right?"
Something clearly wasn't right, but he recognized that she was part of the Negaverse and--with that logic--weren't they allies enough that he should at least reach out? He was a Captain; her energy signature was lesser than his, and if she was in trouble, if there was something he could do, how could he not?
In this chill, he couldn't imagine what she was doing just sitting out here; even in all his layers, he was barely at a comfortable temperature. Aside from that, he had a nagging voice in the back of his head that told him he already had his answer.
Asking was just a courtesy.
~~~
Marisa’s eyes narrowed into dangerously thin slits at the Captains’ cautious approach. His sudden arrival seemed all too coincidental but for a reason she could not explain, she felt like she could trust him, on some level at least. It was a feeling she couldn’t explain, a sixth sense perhaps; but even that didn’t feel quite right.
“Who are you?” She asked, her voice shaking with uncertainty.
Trust only went so far and as long as he maintained a healthy amount of distance Marisa felt comfortable enough to speak to him right where she was at. Otherwise, it seemed she may be going for a swim much sooner than she had anticipated considering her only means of escape,should he step onto the dock, would be to retreat back into the water where all of this nonsense originally began.
~~~
Lopezite lingered after his final step; he could see clearly enough and this was a comfortable distance by which to converse. His hands were cold and he clenched and unclenched them into balls at his side before finally caving and sliding them into the hidden pockets of his uniform. If she were closer, or facing him, he would have at least offered her the courtesy of a handshake with the greeting, but this chill alone was enough to slow even his most simple actions.
"Lopezite," he introduced; he assumed she could infer his rank by energy signature alone.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked slowly, cautiously. "You look like you must be freezing in this weather. No one attacked you, did they? --Are you all right?" he pressed.
He could have asked slower, given her more time to answer the questions, but he was not a fan of beating around the bush if he could help it. If she was hurt, if they were in danger, it wouldn't do anyone any favors to pretend like pretty words and manners was going to do more than waste time.
~~~
“Am I ok?” Marisa let out a mirthless laugh. She looked down at her bloodied hands that had been stained a frostbitten bluish color.
“One minute I am out here enjoying a cup of coffee the next thing I know I feel like I’m having a heart attack. I have no idea what caused that kind of pain but when I finally came to I was eight feet below water looking up at an icy ceiling.” Anger and frustration began building up again, not at him but more so at the situation.
Marisa pointed down at the hole in the ice where the large chunks hadn’t had a chance to resolidify just yet. “You probably think I’m crazy, some freak putting on an act. But I swear to you I don’t know what happened but I’m not a monster. These horns…” She reached up to grab ahold of one of them again. “They won’t come off-”
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t get any of it off-”
~~~
Lopezite watched for a few seconds, taking in her appearance, her words, her tone.
Her story.
"I don't think you're crazy," he said after a thoughtful moment. She was gripping at a horn, and in that second he was worried she was trying to tear them off. He didn't mind the personal boundaries; he took a step forward and knelt to be her height; he covered her hand with his own.
"You're not crazy," he said, firmer, now.
He was a stranger, he understood this. He had no illusions that his presence was welcome or desired, but he knew that if he'd been through a trauma, having someone there--even just a sounding board--would have given them the resources he needed to work through it.
At least, he hoped.
"Tell me what else you remember," he encouraged. "--Are you cold? Your skin feels like ice. You're not a monster."
He had seen youma that were monsters. She didn't have the soulless, evil look in her eye like some of the shadows lurking in the Rift.
She was a girl, hurting, and more confused than he was.
~~~
At his touch Marisa opened her glacial blue eyes. Her hand trembled beneath his but it wasn’t from the cold as opposed to the simple fact that she was scared. “I don’t know…” She replied quietly.
Her gaze fell down to the compacted snow where there were so many footprints that she wasn’t entirely sure which were her own. There was a distinct trail that led to the house she had been renting for the last several days then his. But in the shuffle it was hard to discern if there was something there she was left unseen.
“Before I fell into the lake I swear I heard someone’s voice. But how is that possible? With this much snow I would have heard someone walking up behind me. It doesn’t make sense.” Marisa squeezed her eyes shut again and shook her head.
“I should be dead.” She admitted. With how freezing the temperatures were coupled with the thick layers she had been wearing at the time, the lake to her back should have been her watery grave. “I have no idea how long I was down there, but the next thing I knew…” Marisa fell silent her gaze shifting from left to right as if she were trying to how to explain what happened next.
“It was as if I had been laying at the bottom of the lake in my scuba gear. The water wasn’t nearly as cold and I could breath down there as I am right now.” Absently her hand came up to touch the side of her neck half expecting to feel gills or something to explain how that was possible and was mildly surprised when she felt nothing there. “Everything feels so surreal and I just- I can’t explain any of it…”
Marisa looked up at Lopezite imploringly. “Help me… please help me.”
~~~
"Things don't make sense in this town," Lopezite said softly, as reassuringly as he could manage. For a moment, he remained where he stood, and then he shifted positions so he could take a seat next to her. His eyes found the water, the icy surface. He was not oblivious to the footprints in the snow, but they meant little to him.
He wasn't a tracker, he wasn't going to find more information there beyond 'Something happened', and even now he was barely piecing things together.
"But I will do what I can to help you." It was a promise--gentle, like what he might have given a close friend. He didn't know who she was, what she was doing here, what her backstory might be. It didn't matter, not really. You were either alone in this world, or your weren't, and he liked to think that if he needed someone, they'd find him.
But you didn't get without giving.
"We'll take this one thing at a time. Just remember to breathe. I have answers, I will share them with you. I don't know how much they might help you, but I can tell you all that I know. I take it you don't know about the Negaverse?" he proposed, eyes on her, imploring and patient.
~~~
“The what?” The expression on Marisa’s face when she turned to look at the Captain suggested that he may have just grown a third head with that question.
Perhaps she had water still in her ears and didn’t realize it, or exhaustion was finally setting in, but she was pretty sure she had misheard what he had just asked.
~~~
Lopezite sucked in a breath, held it, and then nodded as he released it.
"I'm going to have to start at the beginning. It's going to be a lot of information. I apologize in advance."
Where did you start?
"The Negaverse serves a purpose on Earth. You'll think me crazy, just going into this. I forgive you. But I suspect you understand that now you're a part of something greater. Though, I had a choice."
...Didn't he?
It was foggy, like it was so long ago. He didn't recall a General, a Captain. He carried on without questioning it.
"There's a threat in this world. A lot of threats. We've been entrusted on Earth to carry out the will of Metallia, who seeks to eradicate these threats. It's not an easy job, and I'm sorry you've had this introduction to it. From what I can gather..."
A part of him wanted to lie to her, to tell her that the Senshi must be responsible for this. There was no easy way to tell her that this was either deliberate or botched, but undoubtedly the hand of someone in the Negaverse. Her energy signature made that indisputable.
He inhaled again. "...Your starseed seems to have been damaged. It can happen any number of ways. But your body has changed to accommodate it. Whatever has happened to you, this is a defense mechanism." Irreversible, so far as he knew. "--Your starseed is your spirit, the life force inside you." His hand went to his chest instinctively. "A 'soul', in a way. I know this is a lot--are you following?" he prompted carefully, trying to keep a good read on her so he knew when to stop and when to clarify.
~~~
“You’re right, I do think you’re crazy.” She stated flatly.
“But so far it’s the only explanation I have to go off of so I guess I have no other option but to believe you.” There was a forlorn in her eyes at his admission that this was not some sort of hallucination and that his … starseed, or ‘soul’, had been damaged; she was damaged.
Marisa’s head bowed forward, her eyes studying her blue tinted hands and claw tipped fingers as if she was reluctantly accepting that this really wasn’t some sort of cruel joke. “How do I fix it? That seed thing you mentioned. My spirit, or whatever it is...”
“My last quarter begins in three days and I have work to get back to.” Her jaw clenched in a mix of frustration and annoyance. “I can’t exactly walk in there looking like this.” Marisa looked back over at Lopezite and made a gesture that begged him to just look at her and how not ok this new appearance was.
~~~
His eyes found her again, taking in the little details. She didn't look human, she'd never pass as one. Maybe there were some half youma that might have been able to paint themselves up to look human. You couldn't hide the energy signature, but it might have been something, at least.
He had to figure out how to tell her that she couldn't. That there wasn't really a way to just 'go back' to how things were. He had extremely limited experience with half-youma, but ever the inquisitive soul, he'd researched what he could. At least, it helped know what he was supposed to be afraid of in the Negaverse.
"Your last quarter?" he prompted. "You're in school? What for?"
He wasn't evading the question, not really. Perhaps, if she was only required to be in class for a little while they might be able to work something out. Online classes, if need be. Something. Anything, to ease the pain of 'You can't have that life anymore'.
~~~
Marisa’s entire body language said it all. Really? she was no idiot and knew when someone was trying to dodge her. “You’re not very tactful…” she simply stated. Perhaps he didn’t know the answer, or maybe the process was long and complicated. Either way, for the sake of the conversation, she decided to humor him for now.
“I’m finishing my major in Biological Oceanography and minor in Marine Geology.” It was easy enough to dual major when so many of the classes overlapped. “Why do you ask?”
~~~
"Curiosity," he said, not noting her commentary on his lack of tact. "You've probably spent a lot of time studying and working for that. You must be very dedicated."
...Which didn't make this any easier.
He drew in a breath, held it, and then finally exhaled. "I don't know that there's a way to return you to what you looked like before, not permanently. A temporary magic, sure, but...more than a few hours at a time..."
He shook his head.
"I'm sorry. But--you're going to be taken care of, I can guarantee you that. We'll work something out. I don't want you to think this is something bad. I know it's a lot of changes. I know these things aren't going to make sense. But I want you to know, I'm going to help you through them. We'll figure this out. The Negaverse--it's who I work for--they'll take care of you. They'll be able to help you. We'll make sure you get to finish your degrees." He didn't want her to focus on the negatives, he didn't want her to have too much time to wallow, to try to try and decipher her life without all of the information yet. "What are you planning on doing with your degree?"
~~~
Minutes passed as Marisa sat there, each shallow exhale nothing more than a small puff of white air between them.
Her expression remained devoid of any identifying emotion such as anger or sadness. Rather she just stared at him in quiet disbelief; unsure how she should react to the news he had given her.
If anything, what he had said left her feeling numb; and it wasn’t from the cold.
“I don’t know…” she quietly replied after realizing he was waiting for an answer to the question her mind had barely even processed that he’d asked. “I was hoping to get my foot in the door with a company that would allow me to do on-site research. Lab work is fine but my goal was to be the one out there gathering samples, exploring underwater caves or ecosystems. Anything that doesn’t keep me trapped behind a desk…”
Marisa’s voice trailed off into a hushed whisper.
“That’s been my goal. Ever since my parents took me scuba diving for the first time when I was twelve.” She looked up at Lopezite, red rimmed eyes from the tears she had shed. “Now what is there for me to look forward to? I can’t go home, to school, looking like this.”
~~~
Lopezite just watched her quietly, brows furrowed just slightly as he tried to remain calm. He didn't want to do or say anything to make her upset, or to make her doubt the Negaverse.
He moved to sit down next to her, ignoring the bite of the cold as he did so.
"True," he admitted, "But maybe not exactly." His eyes never left her face; he didn't want her to think he couldn't look at her, or that there was anything wrong with how she looked. It was just...different.
"Sometimes life throws us curveballs," he said slowly, "And I don't know how much of a setback this is going to be--if it is even going to be one. I can tell you that my Agency has worked hard to provide comfortable living and opportunities for situations like this. I'm just asking...don't give up hope, just yet. This isn't exactly what you wanted, I know, but." He offered her his hand. "Come with me. Let's go talk to someone. Let's go see what they can do for you."
It wasn't an 'if', in this instance, he presented it with certainty. "We'll figure out how we're going to get you to graduate, to get your degree. And," he shrugged, "We'll see what we can do for on site research. I mean, there's a lot of opportunities. Let's go find out which one works best for you. And let's get you warmed up a bit. Are you hungry? I can get us some hot chocolate or something, a quick bite, and we'll go figure this out." He reached out and took her hand.
There wasn't any hesitation, just a firm, confident squeeze.
"You won't be in this alone. I don't know that I can do anything to undo what's happened. But I know I can help you find out what to do from here on out. No more tears, all right? I'll help you. This is going to work out."
~~~
With her free hand, Marisa wiped away her tears with the heel of her hand and in that same motion leaned sideways. Her horns bumped against Lopezite’s shoulder, catching on the fabric of his coat; to which she quietly apologized. Marisa turned her head and closed her eyes for a few moments, pulling comfort from the Captian as she rested against him while she continued to try to calm herself down.
Despite the news he had given her, she felt comforted by his confident words that this is not the end; although it very likely could have been. Had this change, or evolution her body had undergone, never happened she very easily could have ended up on a missing persons report only to be discovered once the ice had melted as bloated corpse.
Though it was very hard to see, there was in fact a small silver lining in that she had received a second chance.
Lopezeite’s strength is what she needed now and with they way he so freely offered to shoulder this burden with her, Marisa felt reassured that he was not about to abandon her.
Marisa had started the day utterly confused, angry and lost. Any injuries were of her own doing, but at least she wasn’t alone and for that she was very thankful.
Kyuseisha no Hikari
Backlogged to January.
