The cons of being a senshi: she had no idea what she was doing.
This had been the case for the last several months and nothing really had changed. Herculina’s experience was approximately negative zero, even though she’d been powering up and doing her best to actually try and understand what was happening, and so far, nothing had really changed a whole lot.
Other than still having no idea what she was doing.
At present, she was in a tree.
The scenario had not been planned. In fact, Herculina would have much preferred not to be in said tree, but there had been a youma, and it had tried to eat her, and so she had run and hidden, and now the youma was gone and she had no idea how to get out of the tree, and possibly she was going to spend the rest of her life in the tree.
It wasn’t so bad. At least it was nice up here.
Mostly. Minus the bats.
Also minus the fact that she had to pee.
_______
Still pissed off that some old jerk had stolen most of her “profits” from the night before, Lovejoy was on a rampage.
That rampage included eating every thin mint in the box of Girl Scout cookies her mother had purchased from one of her coworker’s daughters (because Bea wouldn't be caught dead wearing a stupid uniform like that), beheading one of her least favorite stuffed mutants (she planned to sew it back on later because she instantly had felt bad) and decided to go back out on patrol and take it out on the first dummy she saw that had a different she's than she did.
Only, when she finally found an aura...she didn't find the owner. It kept getting stronger and stronger but no matter where she looked...nothing.
So, in other words, Lovejoy was mad.
Cupping her hands around her mouth, she hollered out, “Come out from wherever you are, you stupid...stupid whatever you are!!!”
_______
There was a rustle from somewhere up above. A few twigs came fluttering down around Lovejoy, though it wasn’t intentional, because really what Herculina was trying to do was figure out how to climb down without being completely ridiculous, because this outfit didn’t exactly make for a good climbing outfit.
The skirt was also a little short. It was possible that she was going to flash the whole of Destiny City if she tried to shimmy down the side of a tree.
“I’M NOT STUUUUUPID,” Herculina wailed in response, mostly because she didn’t know any better, and because power signatures still didn’t make sense to her, and also because she was about to fall out of the tree at any second. Her arms were wrapped around the trunk as far as they could reach which, frankly, wasn’t that far, and she wasn’t that tall to begin with.
There was another rustle. Herculina clung on tighter.
“I CAN’T GET DOOOOOWWWN,” she wailed.
_______
Lovejoy stared.
She looked up and she stared at what she saw because, honestly, she wasn't exactly sure what else she could be doing at that moment.
“Why the hell would you climb a tree if you don't know how to get off of it?”
She looked like some kind of flying squirrel or some ridiculous looking mammal of similar style. That or she was wearing some dumb looking poncho that someone forgot to cut the bottoms out of. Either way, it looked dumb. And maybe a little neat. But mostly dumb because Lovejoy was still feeling angry which was turning into hangry which only reminded her that she'd polished off the cookies so she was SUPER angry.
“Come down here and fight!” she yelled out again, though it was clearly to no avail.
So...she did the next best thing.
“Super Confusion!!”
If she couldn't get the woman down, maybe if she forgot she was a baby about heights that she'd shimmy down and get on with the actual fighting!!!
_______
“I DIDN’T DO IT ON PURPOSE,” Herculina shouted back down, because she was apparently under the impression that she was a white tourist in a foreign country trying to make a phone call to the states which could only be done by yelling really loudly because all foreign people were apparently deaf. “IT JUST SORT OF HAPPENED AND - AND NOW I’M STUCKKKKKKK.”
The last word spiraled a little into another wail. Herculina was beginning to think she was going to have to stay up here for the rest of her life, which was going to be particularly problematic when she started to get hungry, or when it got cold, or when birds decided they needed a new place to roost and therefore went for her head.
“BUT - WHY WOULD I FIGHT - “
The rest of Herculina’s sentence was cut off, because the magic hit her in the side without her realizing it was being cast. A second later, she was peering down owlishly at the girl beneath her, clad in shades of stark black and white, Herculina’s head tilting a little so that a pale pink braid fell over her shoulder in the process.
“ARE YOU SOME SORT OF GHOST?” she yelled, because apparently her White Tourist Voice still hadn’t gone away. “UM. LEMME...LEMME GET DOWN FROM HERE…”
There was a lot of scrabbling, some squealing as she caught her wide sleeve on a branch, another squeal as her too short dress rode up, and then she was tumbling to the ground, Herculina landing in a heap of pink hair, too many sleeves, and some gently floating leaves, one of which came to rest on her head.
She sat up immediately. The leaf remained.
“What happened?” she said. “What was I just doing? I think I was rescuing a cat.”
_______
It was like watching some kind of cheesy comedy movie but one that was set in a reality show background. After all, since it WAS reality….yeah, okay. That made sense. But the acting was dumb and this particular actor made her head hurt so LJ wasn't a fan of the scene playing out above her.
Dark eyes went wide when she watched the girl struggling down the tree, wider even when she slipped and started tumbling down. For a brief moment Lovejoy panicked, dreading the thought of watching some random chick snap her neck right in front of her. She had seen some gory stuff on TV and in books before but never right in front of her! And what if she died a horrible death and decided to come back and haunt Bea for all eternity?! Lovejoy couldn't afford an exorcism, not with the part time job she had!!!!!!
Thankfully, the twit landed in a heap of fabric and leaves on the ground, staying otherwise intact.
“You climbed it because you're dumb.”
Lovejoy found the anger inside of her dissipating, leaving her cross and grumpy more than anything. Fighting a dummy wasn't any fun, it was like picking on someone half or twice your age. There was nothing gratifying about kicking someone, literally, when they're down.
Whatever.
“And I'm not a ghost. I'm LJ.”
Pause.
“Now scram before I really hurt you!!”
_______
Herculina was still sitting on the ground, mostly because she wasn’t sure what was happening and getting up seemed to be kinda pointless until she figured that out. There was the girl next to her, staring grimly at her, but that wasn’t really much help of anything, especially because she wasn’t familiar except that she also seemed to be powered up.
A powered up...something. Herculina squinted at her. There was still a leaf stuck to the top of her head.
“LJ?” she repeated, and then eventually climbed to her feet, brushing grass and twigs from her uniform and flapping her arms like a bird to get rid of the excess dirt. The voluminous sleeves wafted back and forth, blowing air in the other’s direction. “That’s a nice name, I’m - “
But the rest of her sentence was cut off. Herculina gave a little squeak of fright, stumbling back, still uncertain what was happening, other than the fact that she should probably get out of there.
Like, now.
”Okay,” she whispered, and then turned and hastily skedaddled away before anything bad happened.
(The leaf was still resolutely clinging to her hair like a bad boyfriend.)
[Fin]