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 Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 3:39 pm
Virell hadn't really cleaned in a while. It wasn't like his place was a disaster; it didn't have enough to be cluttered and he certainly never left out food or garbage.
He just hadn't cleaned out his apartment in...
Too long.
Eric had been over, helping him reorganize some things. It hadn't taken much convincing to get Virell to admit that his apartment could use an update, and while he was somewhat reluctant to change things, he had to admit that he wanted to like coming home--and the idea that Eric could have helped him decorate his home made it feel like, in a sense, having a part of him to come home to.
They were going to get curtains for the living room, some decorative throw pillows and a blanket for the couch, a rug, nicer lamps, a coffee table that matched, better storage so Virell wasn't still stashing things away in a cardboard box.
The bathroom was getting a touch up.
The bedroom.
The closet had to be cleaned out; they spent a good few hours going through things and picking out what Virell would or wouldn't ever wear again. In the back, hanging up, had been several of Nick's things--a few shirts, sweaters. Things that Virell had pretended to forget about so he had an excuse to keep a part of Nick close to him without feeling bad about it.
Things he'd been forced to confront when Eric asked why on Earth he had something so out of his typical tastes. Virell had openly explained, of course. They were his ex's. He'd told Eric he would text to see if he wanted them back.
Eric was so polite, so understanding. Always so kind.
Such a source of strength, when Virell didn't know if he'd had any, himself. They'd finished going through things earlier today; they'd already gone shopping twice and ordered a few things offline, but now that Eric had gone, it left Virell to deal with the promise he'd made.
At least, now he had an excuse to text Nick.
They hadn't spoken since the break up, certainly not because Virell didn't want to. He'd spent hours looking at the last text message, trying to come up with something to say. An excuse to ask Nick how he was doing, to see if he wanted to hang out.
...But he'd been waiting for Nick to tell him it was all right. That they could go back to being friends. That it was okay to talk again.
He hadn't heard anything.
He hadn't been able to move on, either.
But, this was going to be it. If Nick didn't text back, he'd just throw everything away. If he did...
Virell drew in a breath and looked over his message one more time:
Quote: Hey, Nick. I've got some things of yours still at my place, I'm trying to clean up and was wondering if you wanted them back? It's a few shirts and sweaters, and some little things you left.
Was it too friendly? No, he'd tried to keep it professional. No emotions needed. Was it too cold? Not...really. It wasn't cruel, was it? He didn't want Nick to think he was coming onto him. Didn't want him to think he was that pathetic, that needy.
With a groan, he just allowed his head to fall to the mattress; he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed send. He didn't have the strength to pick his head up and see if it said 'read', he just held the phone between his hands and kept his face smothered in the new comforter Eric had helped him pick out.
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 4:07 pm
Nick had been happy lately. Mostly. He had done what he needed to do, had been working hard to just…make things good. He was…happy with Arias. He liked the fact that the male smiled so much now. It warmed something in his heart but…
But sometimes he wondered what the price of Arias’ smile truly was. He missed Virell. He dreamed of the blonde often, and he missed Ashanite just as often, writing half finished letters to the both of them. Half finished text messages to Virell, when he thought better of it.
He didn’t need to go and disrupt the blonde’s life when he might have just gotten over it...over him…
And honestly, Nick wasn’t sure he could go through seeing Virell cry again. He would rather just rip his own heart out…
As for Ashanite. Well.
He was avoiding all chaos auras for now, and so far it had done him good.
Today was supposed to have been a day where Nick stayed in and perhaps tried some new recipes. He was in the middle of working on something, a French toast bake that sounded utterly irresistible when the text came and nearly caused his eyes to pop out of his head.
He began to tremble, and took the next ten minutes or so while he prepped the dish to calm down and think of what it was he wanted to say…
Finally, he texted back.
Quote: Hey, Virell! Long time no talk. I’ve missed you. Yeah, I can come and get them some time if you want me too…how have you been?”
Nick’s hands were still shaking as he typed and once the message was sent, he clutched the phone and lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm his rapidly pounding heart.
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 4:32 pm
The minutes that passed felt like an eternity. Virell couldn't bring himself to pick up his head and see if the text was read, and every few seconds his heart just sank lower. He was filled with doubt, uncertainty, guilt and--
The phone went off and his head shot up, eyes immediately glued to the screen.
Should he text back immediately? Should he wait? --s**t, it probably already said 'Read'. He couldn't waste time, Nick would know he was procrastinating. His heart was in his throat, choking him.
Quote: You can drop by and pick them up, they're in a box. I'm free tomorrow afternoon, but I can free up my schedule if we need to pick another time.
He looked at what he'd written for a moment and hastily reread what Nick had said.
Long time no talk.
Yeah, but he wasn't taking the blame for that one.
I've missed you.
His heart hurt. Sure, he thought, and rolled his eyes because he had to force himself to be mad about it.
How have you been?
How had he been? Heartbroken and miserable, barely taking care of himself, almost lost his job.
...Found a really great guy who was helping him get things together again.
He added:
Quote: I've been keeping busy. You too, right?
Right? ...Maybe that's why Nick hadn't texted. Certainly if he missed him he would have texted otherwise, right?
...Right?
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 4:41 pm
When the phone buzzed again, Nick drew the phone close and flipped over so he was on his stomach, reading what the male had written and swallowing hard.
…It sounded so impersonal. So cold.
…He deserved it though. He knew it. He should have texted…should have called. Should have just showed up at Virell’s house with flowers and food and…
…And taken him into his arms and just lost himself…
No. No he was supposed to be faithful but…
…It was so hard to change the way his heart worked. He ached for the blonde. He wanted nothing more than to just show up there tonight…hell, he could bring the French Toast bake…it was starting to smell good…or that could just be his own imagination.
When the second message came through, he sighed and his shoulders slumped a little.
Quote: Yeah. I’ve been pretty busy. Working hard to keep myself on the right path and all…I haven’t been tempted by chaos for a while so that’s…something right? Though when I feel a chaos aura I normally just…well. Leave.
What was he even saying. What a ******** fool he was.
Nick blew out a breath and bit his lip, typing again.
Quote: If you wanted, I’m making a really good dinner…I could come over and we could just hang out tonight? I’ll bring a movie. Or you could come over here? Up to you. I can wait until tomorrow though if that’s better.
There was another long pause and slowly he typed one more.
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 4:46 pm
One text. Two. Three.
He felt each one in his heart, a strong, desperate throb.
Nick shouldn't still make him feel this way, it wasn't fair.
Quote: You can come over tonight, I'm free
He pressed send before he even realized what he said, before he'd even thought about it. He was too excited, too giddy. How was his hair? --His clothes? The place was clean--
He paused and looked at the phone. He'd barely even registered the third one, except that it made his heart hurt.
Quote: You don't have to apologize. I'm proud that you're working so hard. I want you to be happy.
And he did.
Happy with him, yeah. He still pined for him, and it was so stupid. Eric was more reliable, that was for sure. They had talked about plans. Eric was wholesome, and encouraging, and looked at him with such a deep love, such understanding, such care. Eric was such a good person and...
And here was Virell, who'd already invited his ex over.
He had to keep telling himself that, 'his ex'.
Like it even meant anything.
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 5:23 pm
The words made his heart skip at least four beats and a smile slowly began to steal over the blonde’s face.
He hesitated and sent another text.
Quote: Great!!! Please, I’ll be over in an hour or so, we’ll have breakfast for dinner and it will be wonderful. Pick out something nice for us to watch, okay? I’ll bring a nice blanket to snuggle under if you want.
Nick hoped it wasn’t too forward, but his mind was racing with all that could happen tonight. Perhaps being with Virell would help him to feel whole again. Would help him feel like he had a purpose again.
And…what Arias didn’t know wouldn’t kill him…only disappoint him.
He sighed.
Quote: I’ll see you soon, Relly. I’m so very excited. I hope you’re hungry.
And with that, he slid the phone into his pocket and got up, fully prepared to pack them a wonderful dinner, cooked the rest of the way at Virell’s house of course…but it was going to be great. He could feel it.
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 5:31 pm
He shouldn't have been excited. He shouldn't have been.
...But he was, and it wasn't fair. It didn't occur to him that anything might happen; he didn't have time to imagine the possibilities, or even think that he should let Eric know what the plan was. It wouldn't have been uncommon for him to message Eric to chat, or to call, but now that Nick was coming over he had to get ready.
He texted back a quick:
Quote: Sounds good, see you soon!
He pulled himself from his bed, hurrying to freshen up. He had time before Nick got there, he couldn't imagine (yes he could) that Nick was going to rush over just to see him, just to make up, even just to be friends again.
He wasn't going to waste any time himself, though. He wanted this to be a good impression.
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