â–ˆ*CURRENT TEAM â–¬ ROKA â–ˆ*PARTNER(S) â–¬ â–ˆNICKNAME(S) â–¬ Dee, DeeO, Jaw â–ˆOCCUPATION â–¬ Odd Jobs
â–ˆ â–ˆ â•« A F F E C T A T I O N â•«
â–ˆHEIGHT â–¬ 7'1 or 214cm â–ˆWEIGHT â–¬ 230 lbs
â–ˆHAIR â–¬ Dreads. Tired behind his head in a ponytail, tips are colored red.Tipicaly held together by a pet snake. â–ˆCLOTHING â–¬ Black winter coat, Gray cargo pants, boots( On missions outside of his home). Kimono decorated with red maple leaves, No mask. (At home) â–ˆACCESSORIES â–¬ Jaw Mask, Necklace, Two wedding rings on his right hand. â–ˆEYES â–¬ Yellow/gold, Orange, Black â–ˆBUILD â–¬ Athletic â–ˆTATTOOS â–¬ None â–ˆSCARS â–¬ Burns following up his neck all the way to his jaw (hidden behind his mask), light off color skin patches where his facial scales used to be. number of cuts along his back followed by burn marks on his back, arms and legs. â–ˆMARKINGS/FAUNUS FEATURES â–¬ Small scales on the left side of his cheek. long thick snake like tongue, sharp shark like teeth.
â–ˆ â–ˆ â•« A R C H E T Y P E â•«
â–ˆNATURAL ABILITIES â–ˆPrimary Talent â–¬ Able to speak to reptiles.
â–ˆFaunus Trait/Bonus Talent â–¬Venom production; Dee's venom is an anticoagulant and causes enemies to bleed out once injured. Enemies who have been cut and infected will have a maximum number of 10 more combat posts before they bleed out and fall unconscious. Like the Komodo dragon, Dee can "taste" the air for others and guess an accurate number of people that have been and are in an area. He can Memorise those smells. â–ˆOther Talents â–¬ .Enhanced Ocular Sensory; Dee can see through even the thickest fogs and debris. â–ˆLEARNT ABILITIES â–ˆStrongest Skill â–¬ Skilled at close combat, â–ˆWeakest Skill â–¬ Strong lights in his eyes any powerful flashing will stun him for a small amount of time. â–ˆOther Skills â–¬ Lock picking, Mixing drinks, Heavy lifting, Long-distance running, Rock Climbing, Poison Expert
â–ˆLIKES â–ˆ â–¬ (Hobbies/Talents) Eating, Sleeping in the sun,Talking with his family â–ˆ â–¬ (People) Kail Schuer, Auburn, Yui Lioncort â–ˆ â–¬ (Foods) Sweets, Meats â–ˆ â–¬ (Objects) Anything useful or eye-catching. â–ˆ â–¬ (Animals) Anything that he can eat. â–ˆDISLIKES â–ˆ â–¬ (People) N/a â–ˆ â–¬ (Foods) Bitter foods, Beans â–ˆ â–¬ (Objects) Roses â–ˆ â–¬ (Animals) Anything you cant eat â–ˆ â–¬ (Fears) Fire (can hide it, Suffers from PTSD) â–ˆPERSONALITY TRAITS â–ˆNature â–¬ True Neutral. â–ˆVernacular â–¬ Has a heavy deep voice, tends not to talk much relying on actions to get his point across, Will not repeat himself due to the pain of speaking, Will opt to use sign language to talk. â–ˆPositive Traits â–¬ Loyal to those his trust to a fault. â–ˆNegative Traits â–¬ Slow trusting, is Betrayed will take revenge. Indifferent.
â–ˆ â–ˆ â•« H I S T O R Y â•«
â–ˆBACKGROUND â–¬ I peered up into the cloudy black sky, tainted snow falling. Flames licking up and reaching in an attempt to coat the sky. My world is pain, my body siring with pain, my arms and legs numb not knowing is they were even still there. my ears strain hoping to hear anything but my hopes were dashed as the crackling laughter of the fire filled my ears. My eyelids get heavier with every passing moment... one light shines down on what was once my home before holding on me. Screaming out I called for help only to have my voice come out in jumbled gurgles. My eyelids pull down as if someone was closing them slow enough for me to get to witness the long goodbye of my life. tears slowly slide down the sides of my face before my eyes finally shut letting the darkness take me. waking weeks later in a hospital to an empty white room my eye-opening suddenly only to shut close from the pain shooting into them the light was too bright. My jaw still feeling numb reaching up to it and feeling around, eye-opening wide once again noticing chunks are missing from my jaw. Where am I, what happened, where is my jaw, question after question pops up into my head only to slowly be filled in with the answers? That night plays in my head over and over again as tears fill my eyes only to fall like a breaking dam, my hands grabbing up at what's left of my mouth as the muffled cry's poured out. my head begins to hurt throbbing as my tears behind to dry up and my body feels as it was behind held by the icy winds. consciousness slowly leaves my body once again.
â–ˆ â–ˆ â•« I N V E N T O R Y â•«
â–ˆPRIMARY WEAPON â–ˆ â–¬ (Name) Setting Sun â–ˆ â–¬ (Description) Golden spear made by Obsidian after his dual blades were broken in one of his missions. After weeks of melting down his old weapons his new one was formed> The spear named Setting Sun was able to carry the types of dust inside of it. Gravity, Combustion, as well as Electricity. Made to carry the various toxins that Obsidian carryed in his mouth as well. once released the toxins will coat the blade making it even deadlier. â–ˆMelee Form â–¬ Spear
â–ˆRanged Form â–¬ Long Barrle Shotgun â–ˆOther Form(s) â–¬ â–ˆAmmo Type â–¬ Dust â–ˆ â–¬ (Drawbacks) Not effective in long range fights. Will do what he can to close the distance.
â–ˆOTHER WEAPONS â–ˆ â–¬ Smoke grenades: Has 3 on his body at all times. takes three post from when first used before smoke dissipates. â–ˆ â–¬ Single shot mini gun in his mask: can only be used once. â–ˆ â–¬ â–ˆITEMS â–ˆ â–¬ med-kit ( one use) â–ˆ â–¬ Shades â–ˆ â–¬ Dried meat
â–ˆ â–ˆ â•« S E M B L A N C E â•«
â–ˆ*NAME â–¬ Black Sands â–ˆ*AURA COLOR â–¬ Black/Silver â–ˆ*DESCRIPTION â–ˆ*LEVEL 0 â–¬ Slow Healing. Heals as the fight goes on. 2 posts to heal basic wounds, 3 for medium, and 5 posts to heal from major wounds. Any missing body parts will take 10 posts or more if the body part can be found. â–ˆ*LEVEL 1â–¬ Weapons Can change between venom that causes; Paralyzing: Slows and causes any pain with moving until the build-up stops the body from moving completely, once blade comes into contact with skin every 5 post-movement will become difficult, Fever: Causes opponent to break out in a fever takes 25 posts from when the blade comes into contact with skin, Sleep: Slows and puts opponent asleep after 20 posts from when the blade makes contact with skin. â–ˆ*LEVEL 2â–¬ Removes pain receptors: As the fight goes on his feeling for pain will be removed leaving his body numb to anything touching his body. â–ˆ*LEVEL 3 â–¬ Ground under his feet begin to die and turn into sand creeping over the land. Gets a boost of agility. â–ˆ*DRAWBACKS â–¬ Semblance must be active to do any of this he has to willing activate it. Healing will not be able to save Dee's life. after the battle, he must rest or seek help if he has sustained large portions of damage. Removing pain receptors: Dee will not be able to feel the weapons in his hands once this is activated. Will have to take a moment to look down at his hands or body to make sure everything is still there. once this moves his deactivated all the pain Dee took over the duration of the battle will rush his body making him take in all the pain at once. This does have to ability to knock Dee unconscious. Turning the ground into the sand: At this point, everything under his bare feet will turn into black sand this takes a tremendous amount of energy Dee will not use this unless he has too. Dee must eat a full meal before activating this ability unless the ability eats him from the inside out turning his body into the sand in turn. once activated this ability takes time to stop no one should come in contact with him once this is active.10 post until he can move around freely again.
narxfang
xLulie
Deadly_Tiger
Youroka Kage
Xcon299
Alysian Virago
1234boo75
Eddy_Soul5
Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2019 9:06 pm
Haiii PINKY!!! We are so happy you joined us! We like to help homogenize the profiles so we'll want you to change a few things here and there and make a few recommendations. This is what we do to every profile so rest assured you are being treated fairly! In fact in a lot of ways I will be helping make your profile stronger! Now, I like to cover the whole profile in one sweep so this will be a lot! I apologize! But it makes things fast!
1 â–¬ I see your species is "Komodo Dragon" which is awesome, and was curious if you planned on eventually applying for Dragon Faunus Title in Mythical Faunus topic?
2 â–¬ I think you need a new primary talent. You put: "â–ˆ Primary Talent â–¬ Can see up to 1000 feet away." But anyone can see that far away. You can still have some sort of vision based talent of course, maybe something like "Enhanced Ocular Sensory; Dee can see through even the thickest fogs, and debris." Or something else. Most faunus, if not all, have light night vision so that one is already present. [RECOMMENDATION ONLY]
3 â–¬ In ragards to your venom production: "â–ˆ Faunus Trait/Bonus Talent â–¬ Venom production" I actually have a degree in biology and so I am sure you know from research online that komodo dragon's venom is an anticoagulant. It causes blood not to clot so injured foes bleed out. We'll want to quantify this effect to make it functional. I propose we add to this section: "â–ˆ Faunus Trait/Bonus Talent â–¬ Venom production; Dee's venom is an anticoagulant and causes enemies to bleed out once injured. Enemies who have been cut, and infected will have a maximum number of 10 more combat posts before they bleed out and fall unconscious."
4 â–¬ I see your strongest skill includes venom production, but you got this already and its not really a skill, so I would maybe select a different skill to go with the other. [RECOMMENDATION ONLY]
5 â–¬ "â–ˆ â–¬ (Description) Khopesh: Long smooth duel sided black blade without blemish. Able to hook into anything that is within range of the back side of the blade."
I am confused on how a smooth blade "hooks" anything. Can you explain the weapon a bit more or what you meant by that?
5 â–¬ "â–ˆ â–¬ Smoke grenades (Has 4, last four or five turns each, will have to restock after mission)" Let's say each smoek grenade last 3 posts (starting on the post its first unleashed). Then we are good there! Just add that in!
6 â–¬"â–ˆ *LEVEL 0 â–¬ Slow Healing (Last until the end of the fight or takes to much damage, slowing it down further to a point where it would now help)"
By this, do you mean he has regenerative abilities? Basically he heals himself slowly as a fight goes on. Let's specify limits to this, like it takes 2 posts to heal basic wounds, 3 for medium and 5 posts to heal from major wounds. or something along those lines. Unless you have a different idea? I am all ears to discuss it!
6 â–¬ "â–ˆ *LEVEL 1â–¬ Weapons becomes Venomous for a time (three or four post)" Your weapons are already venomous with your natural abilities, so I would personally recommend you change this to something else, even if just faster regenerative self healing. Or, if you want to keep poison at least make it a different kind of poison? What do you want to do? I think you can be stronger if you change this though as its redundant.
7 â–¬ Same thing with your level two. One of your talents is a high pain threshold. No reason to have it as a semblance option. You can keep it if you like because the drawback is actually kinda cool if you ask me. But if you do keep pain dulling then maybe elaborate a bit on the kind of pain he can take without wincing? Like can he take a sword blow that cuts straight through arm with only slight pain? [RECOMMENDATION ONLY]
Other than that I think this is great! Make the changes and let's see what we got after that has been done! I think you have a very unique character and I just want to make sure we make him work ideally! Lots of redundant things that will help you to get rid of, or at least to elaborate on!
Made a few fixes let me know if there is anything else that needs to be addressed. Do i need to make him a Mythical Faunus?
narxfang
Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2019 3:28 pm
HairyPinky
Made a few fixes let me know if there is anything else that needs to be addressed. Do i need to make him a Mythical Faunus?
narxfang
1 â–¬ You do not need to apply to make him a part of a mythical faunus clan, just was curious if you were planning on that. Forget about it though, you're fine! :]
2 â–¬ Animal talking approved, but it isn't like animals are super smart so they can't spy on an enemy fortress and give you the layout so just keep that in mind! Think of it as commands to a highly trained animal.
3 â–¬ Check
4 â–¬ The strongest skill is just supposed to say one thing, so just remove the word "Adaptive" and its good to go there.
5 â–¬ Hook part makes sense with the images! Thanks!
â–ˆ*NAME â–¬ Obsidian Dee â–ˆ*AGE â–¬ 17 almost 18 â–ˆ*FACTION â–¬ Independent. â–ˆ*ROLE â–¬ Student â–ˆ*SEX â–¬ Male â–ˆ*SPECIES â–¬ Faunus, Komodo Dragon
â–ˆ*CURRENT TEAM â–¬ â–ˆ*PARTNER(S) â–¬ â–ˆNICKNAME(S) â–¬ Dee â–ˆOCCUPATION â–¬ Odd Jobs
â–ˆ â–ˆ â•« A F F E C T A T I O N â•«
â–ˆHEIGHT â–¬ 7'1 â–ˆWEIGHT â–¬ 190
â–ˆHAIR â–¬ Dreads. Tired behind his head in a ponytail, tips are colored red. â–ˆCLOTHING â–¬ Black winter coat, Gray cargo pants, boots( On missions). Kimono decorated with red maple leaves, No mask. (At home) â–ˆACCESSORIES â–¬ Jaw Mask, Necklace, Two wedding rings on his right hand. â–ˆEYES â–¬ Yellow/gold â–ˆBUILD â–¬ Athletic â–ˆTATTOOS â–¬ Red rose tattoo on the back of his neck. â–ˆSCARS â–¬ Burns following up his neck all the way to his jaw (hidden behind his mask), light off color skin patches where his facial scales used to be. number of cuts along his back followed by burn marks on his arms and legs. â–ˆMARKINGS/FAUNUS FEATURES â–¬ Small scales on the left side of his cheek. long thick snake like tongue, sharp shark like teeth.
â–ˆ â–ˆ â•« A R C H E T Y P E â•«
â–ˆNATURAL ABILITIES â–ˆPrimary Talent â–¬ Able to speak to reptiles.
â–ˆFaunus Trait/Bonus Talent â–¬Venom production; Dee's venom is an anticoagulant and causes enemies to bleed out once injured. Enemies who have been cut, and infected will have a maximum number of 10 more combat posts before they bleed out and fall unconscious. â–ˆOther Talents â–¬ .Enhanced Ocular Sensory; Dee can see through even the thickest fogs, and debris. â–ˆLEARNT ABILITIES â–ˆStrongest Skill â–¬ Skilled at close combat, Adaptive, â–ˆWeakest Skill â–¬ Strong lights in his eyes any powerful flashing will stun him for a small amount of time. â–ˆOther Skills â–¬ Lock picking, Mixing drinks, Heavy lifting
â–ˆLIKES â–ˆ â–¬ (Hobbies/Talents) Eating, Sleeping in the sun â–ˆ â–¬ (People) Kail Schuer, Few others â–ˆ â–¬ (Foods) Sweets, Meats â–ˆ â–¬ (Objects) Anything useful or eye catching. â–ˆ â–¬ (Animals) Anything that he cant eat. â–ˆDISLIKES â–ˆ â–¬ (People) N/a â–ˆ â–¬ (Foods) Bitter foods, Beans â–ˆ â–¬ (Objects) Roses â–ˆ â–¬ (Animals) Anything you cant eat â–ˆ â–¬ (Fears) Fire (can hide it, Suffers from PTSD) â–ˆPERSONALITY TRAITS â–ˆNature â–¬ True Neutral. â–ˆVernacular â–¬ Has a heavy deep voice, tends not to talk mush relying on actions to get his point across, Will not repeat himself due to the pain of speaking, Will opt to use sign language to talk. â–ˆPositive Traits â–¬ Loyal to those his trust to a fault. â–ˆNegative Traits â–¬ Slow trusting, is Betrayed will take revenge. Indifferent.
â–ˆ â–ˆ â•« H I S T O R Y â•«
â–ˆBACKGROUND â–¬ I peered up into the cloudy black sky, tainted snow falling.Flames licking up and reaching in an attempt to coat the sky. My world is pain, my body siring with pain, my arms and legs numb not knowing is they were even still there. my ears strain hoping to hear anything but my hopes were dashed as the crackling laughter of the fire filled my ears. My eye lids get heavier with every passing moment... one light shines down on what was once my home before holding on me. Screaming out i called for help only to have my voice come out in jumbled gurgles. My eyelids pulls down as if someone was closing them slow enough for me to get to witness the long good bye of my life. tears slowly slides down the sides of my face before my eyes finally shut letting the darkness take me. waking weeks later in a hospital to a empty white room my eye opening suddenly only to shut close from the pain shooting into them the light was too bright. My jaw still feeling numb reaching up to it and feeling around, eye opening wide once again noticing chunks are missing from my jaw. Where am I, what happened, where is my jaw, question after question pops up into my head only to slowly be filled in with the answers. That night plays in my head over and over again as tears fill my eyes only to fall like a breaking dam, my hands grabbing up at whats left of my mouth as the muffled cry's pour out. my head begins to hurt throbbing as my tears behind to dry up and my body feels as it was behind held by the icy winds. consciousness slowly leaves my body once again.
â–ˆ â–ˆ â•« I N V E N T O R Y â•«
â–ˆPRIMARY WEAPON â–ˆ â–¬ (Name) Unknowns Sacrifice â–ˆ â–¬ (Description) Khopesh: Long smooth curved blade Hooked inward,able to act as a hook when something gets caught on the back side of its blade. Kopis: Sandy gold weapon. strange runes follow along the blade. â–ˆMelee Form â–¬ Kopis and Khopesh
â–ˆRanged Form â–¬ Pistols â–ˆOther Form(s) â–¬ Sheath for one another. â–ˆAmmo Type â–¬ Physical â–ˆ â–¬ (Drawbacks) Not effective in long range fights. Will do what he can to close the distance.
â–ˆOTHER WEAPONS â–ˆ â–¬ Smoke grenades: Has 3 on his body at all times. takes three post from when first used before smoke dissipates. â–ˆ â–¬ Single shot mini gun in his mask: can only be used once. â–ˆ â–¬ â–ˆITEMS â–ˆ â–¬ med-kit ( one use) â–ˆ â–¬ Shades â–ˆ â–¬ Dried meat
â–ˆ â–ˆ â•« S E M B L A N C E â•«
â–ˆ*NAME â–¬ Black Sands â–ˆ*AURA COLOR â–¬ Black/Silver â–ˆ*DESCRIPTION â–ˆ*LEVEL 0 â–¬ Slow Healing. Heals as the fight goes on. 2 posts to heal basic wounds, 3 for medium and 5 posts to heal from major wounds. Any missing body parts will take 10 post or more if the body part can be found. â–ˆ*LEVEL 1â–¬ Weapons Can change between venom that causes; Paralyzing: Slows and causes any pain with moving until the build up stops the body from moving completely, once blade comes into contact with skin every 5 post movement will become difficult, Fever: Causes opponent to break out in a fever takes 25 post from when blade comes into contact with skin, Sleep: Slows and puts opponent asleep after 20 post from when blade makes contact with skin. â–ˆ*LEVEL 2â–¬ Removes pain receptors: As fight goes on his feeling for pain will be removed leaving his body numb to anything touching his body. â–ˆ*LEVEL 3 â–¬ Ground under his feet begin to die and turn into sand creeping over the land. Gets a boost of agility. â–ˆ*DRAWBACKS â–¬ Semblance must be active to do any of this he has to willing activate it. Healing will not be able to save Dee's life. after the battle he must rest or seek help if he has sustained large portions of damage. Removing pain receptors: Dee will not be able to feel the weapons in his hands once this is activated. Will have to take a moment to look down at his hands or body to make sure everything is still there. once this move his deactivated all the pain Dee took over the duration of the battle will rush his body making him take in all the pain at once. This does have to ability to knock Dee unconscious. Turning the ground into sand: At this point everything under his bare feet will turn into black sand this take a tremendous amount of energy Dee will not used this unless he has too. Dee must eat a full meal before activating this ability unless the ability eats him from the inside out turning his body into sand in turn. once activated this ability take time to stop no one should come in contact with him once this is active.10 post until he can move around freely again.
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______________FЄÐЯ THЄ КѲѪѲДѲ (ДÑаgѳп) ! →__DEATH ;;FOLLOWS ME CLOSELY ______________________________LAY ME DOWN AND WATCH ME DIE ______________________________LAY ME DOWN AND WATCH ME DIE ✖____---____(__Profile__)