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 Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:09 pm
Laurence hadn't been sleeping well; even with Gale's support, he knew he was struggling. She had been an amazing resource to him, reassuring and sweet and the stability he needed to get through all of this. Mostly.
There was so much paperwork, so many questions. So many things to do. It felt like every time he tried to start one project, he wound up finding he needed to finish something else first. There was no end in sight.
...But Gale had told him to go to Karone, and in a way he was grateful he had an excuse to go to her sister. An excuse to spend time with her, because he had to talk to her about more than just his current family situation.
...'Family' situation. As if he still had a family.
Tired beyond measure, and holding a stack of paper with all the information he had compiled, either through the hospital or police or from his own records, he made his way to the door. He knew Gale had told Karone he was coming and he had been certain to arrive precisely on time, hyper-aware of being either too early or too late, he knocked on her door at exactly eleven.
He knew he was a mess. He was trying his hardest to hold it together, but his face felt too tight. His clothes and hair were immaculate, as if that alone could hide the sunken eyes, the pale skin, the haunted expression.
He had tried.
It was all he could do now.
Try, and ask for help.
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 3:56 pm
Things had been so strange lately. General kings she did not know. The fact that the youmaglia was still inside of her…though…that wasn’t a bad thing Not at all. It was guiding her to be the best she could be. It just…made it strange to do the daily things, or perhaps that was just her own mind playing tricks.
Karone felt so much more comfortable in the guise of Cavansite now, she spent so much more time in her office in Negaspace trying to come up with some sort of idea of how to really get back at the White Moon…but thus far it was to no avail.
She had an appointment today though with Laurence, Gale told her that there were issues, that his parents had been killed in a car crash and for a moment all of her anger with the male had evaporated. He hadn’t kept up with his quotas for a while now, what with his brother going missing and now this but…she could forgive that.
She would have to.
As eleven approached, Karone made a pot of tea. It had become a new habit with her after enjoying the hot leaf water so often with Axinite. Plus, it was relaxing and rather calming.
When the knock came she moved to the door and opened it, looking at the male on her doorstep for a long moment. He was her lieutenant. Her sisters boyfriend.
He was family no matter how you sliced it.
So she did what anyone would do and wrapped her arms around him without a word, holding him tightly for a long moment.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Laurence.”
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 5:23 pm
He didn't know how to respond to it.
She wasn't the first person to say it to him, but he still didn't know what he was supposed to say back.
'Thanks'? Thank you for reminding me my parents are dead?
...No, that's not what she was doing. She understood this. That's why he was here. She probably genuinely meant it.
The embrace was not expected, but was welcome, even if he didn't move into it. He didn't return the hug, just held his papers closer to his chest. He rested his chin on her shoulder though, as if he couldn't have supported the weight on his own. She was a solid support, and he needed it. All of it. Gradually, he rested against her a bit more, even managing to close his eyes for long enough to collect himself.
He didn't tremble, he didn't cry. He didn't have the energy to do either.
"I appreciate it," he said softly. "...I'm having some trouble understanding what I'm supposed to do from here. Gale said you might be able to help me."
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 7:20 am
Gently, Karone stroked his back and sighed, nodding. “Yes. She was right to send you to me. Come. Have a seat, Laurence. We’ll get through everything.”
She led him to the couch and pushed him down, reaching out and taking the pile of papers from him, replacing them with a cup of tea to which she added two cubes of sugar and a splash of milk. “The tea will calm you. I’ve started to become quite dependent on it lately.
The woman took her seat next to him and after taking a sip from her own cup, placed it back onto the table. “So. What do you need my help with? Figuring out their will? The estate? Have you started to plan the funeral, Laurence? I can go with you. I was you a few years ago, you know. Gale was young, and I thought I was drowning on top of all of the other emotions that I was feeling. It’s so hard. You’re thrust into a role that you never expected to play and never had the time to prepare for or even learn what to do.”
Her eyes were on him, and she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You are part of our family, Laurence. You are dating my sister, and you are my captain, the brightest and strongest member of my recruits. How could I not take care of you at this time? Tell me what you need. Tell me what questions you have, and I will answer them.”
There wouldn’t be much that she could really do…but Karone knew that if she had a mentor like this back when she was dealing with her own parent’s deaths…things would have gone much more smoothly.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 7:57 am
Laurence obeyed quietly, taking a seat where directed. He didn't fight when she took the papers, despite the fact that he didn't seem to know what to do without them. He held the cup between his hands and it was clear that he had to force himself to take a sip and murmur a soft word of thanks. He had no appetite, no thirst. It was a mechanical movement and something he did out of politeness rather than desire.
It took him a moment to answer, but he sat with his back upright and with as much structure and dignity as he could manage.
"The legalities, yes. I've got a lawyer that's supposed to be helping me with some things, I need to call him. But everyone keeps saying I need to start somewhere else. I haven't started planning the funeral. Do I do that before contacting a lawyer, or do I contact him first? --I don't have the will yet, just a lot of papers. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with the estate. I don't know who I'm supposed to talk to about finding those things. I should have the will before I plan the funeral, I think. In case they. In case they had requests. I'll need that before I can do anything with the estate, too, I imagine?"
He looked up at her questioningly, like he was waiting to be told he was wrong. He had appreciated her kind words, but it seemed he was struggling to focus on anything other than business; his hands were clutching the cup so tightly that his knuckles were white and though he kept his jaw set there was still something lost about him.
He was grateful, that was undeniable, but this loss had left him shaken and disoriented and he was struggling to see past the emotions collapsing atop of him.
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 8:06 am
“First, you need to set a date for the funeral, and then contact the lawyer. Let him know that you are working on the funeral and if he could let you know if your parents had any specific wishes, to let you know. Then ask for a meeting after the funeral date to settle the rest of the will and estate, that way you’ll have a time frame set and things will start rolling.”
Karone took another sip of her tea, no longer looking at him, eyes fixed on a picture over on one of the tables in the corner. A family picture with herself, her parents and Gale. It made her heart ache just a little to look at it. “I’ll make an appointment with the funeral home that I used for my parents if that would be all right with you. They were very good at what they did…and very kind.”
It would never be an easy thing…but she could help to make it as easy as she could. She could help to take some of the weight off of Laurence’s shoulders…even if she didn’t carry it herself.
“…I can go with you, if you’d like my support that far, Laurence. I would be there to help you if you wanted me.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 8:32 am
A brief emotion flickered across Laurence's face but it didn't linger. His brows knit, and there was the slightest layer of moisture in his eyes, but he blinked it away before it could gather into anything. He was in a state between constant cold and an occasional burst of warmth, never comfortable, never reassuring. Fire in his stomach, his throat, his eyes.
"I would appreciate that," he said softly, as if quietness could hide the hurt in his voice.
It wasn't supposed to be like this; he was supposed to be strong. He was a shell of strength, a mask of it, but inside was barren. He was going through the motions, committed to doing this right, but not leaving enough of anything for himself.
No time to grieve, no time to process.
There was too much work to do.
"I apologize for falling behind in my duties," he added, in the same quiet voice. "I don't mean to let you down."
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 5:04 pm
Karone waved a hand and made a soft noise, somewhere between a snort and a shushing sound. She felt something in her mind somewhat rejecting what she wanted to say. The Youmaglia no doubt but…this wasn’t against the Negaverse. This was helping her captain heal.
“You’ll make them up when this is all over, Laurence, I have no doubt of that. You have never failed me in the slightest, but right now this is much more important. We need to get you back on your feet. Get you starting to work towards life being more stable.”
She couldn’t say what she wanted. Couldn’t tell him that it didn’t matter. Couldn’t tell him that he needed to take time for himself. She was trying to, but the words wouldn’t come out in the way she wanted.
…Or did she want them to come out like that?
But…emotional trauma like that could often lead to bad decisions so…
“I will stay with you. There is no reason to do this alone. Gale and I will help you to get better. Now, let’s start working through this paperwork, and then we can work to plan a date for the funeral. The sooner we get all of this mess sorted out…the better you’ll feel, Laurence. I won’t leave your side if you don’t want me to.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 5:32 pm
He nodded, perhaps a bit relieved that there was no reprimand. If he thought there was something off about her words, or how she delivered them, he didn't give any indication of such; he nodded again, as if that were his final thought on the matter.
"Yes, please," he said softly. "I...hate to admit it."
He hated not being enough, and it was evident on his face. He hated that he thought he was too weak to do this on his own, that he wasn't strong enough, smart enough, brave enough.
He hated that he wasn't enough.
The rational part of his mind told him that he needed to accept the help--that it was foolish not to use someone else's expertise to avoid error and save on time.
...But the emotional part told him he just wasn't good enough to do this alone.
His father's voice told him he wasn't good enough.
He had to draw in a breath to finish the sentence, "I hate to admit it, but I do need the help. Please. And thank you." He looked at the stack warily, with determination and dread.
"...For all of this. I don't know if I could do this alone."
...What would he have done if he hadn't had them?
His father's voice echoed again.
He just wasn't good enough.
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