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 Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 8:27 am
She hoped she wasn’t giving Nadia whiplash, but looking back on the messages she had sent the woman, she wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. After the texts about her memory loss, there had been a bit of radio silence on her end, right until now. The next messages Knot had sent Nadia were asking the woman to meet her for lunch. Yes. That’s right. Lunch. She asked the Russian Ballet Queen to meet her under the ornate metal clock downtown, which was located near this cute authentic Italian place she wanted to try. At noon.
The implication was clear. She knew Nadia was clever. It’d be stupid to be standing out in the open during broad daylight like that as Still---and she wasn’t going to be.
Knot waited under that ornate metal clock. Her white hair was pulled up into a messy top bun, and as she waited, her hands were tucked into her winter coat pockets. The only clue she gave Nadia about the meet up was that the woman would know her when she saw her. Truly, she would. When Nadia appeared, Knot’s eyes were immediately drawn to her, and on Nadia they stayed, until the woman met her gaze.
It was then, she smiled, to leave no doubt.
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Nadia was clever, and it wasn’t that she didn’t trust her friend, but she didn’t trust the negaverse. When Still had to ask to meet, she immediately told her boyfriend and asked that he’d be ‘around’ should anything happen. But the meeting place was out in the open, with people and that was reassuring in it’s own sense.
If Still was risking exposing her identity, it meant that she discovered something about herself and it was dire that she shared it immediately. Nadia would not miss that call for all the things in the world.
When she arrived, she arrived comfortably. Leggings, oversized sweater. A jacket over her clothes with a large scarf and a beanie. She was dressed for the cold of course, but also cause layers.
When she saw the woman’s smile on her, and intensely so, she cocked her head. It was so odd to see a hint of Olga but….also no hints of her at all. Nadia came over to her and smiled.
“Like what you see darling?”
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Knot’s smile widened briefly, and the woman offered her arm to the other. “I don’t like it.” She replied. “I love it.”
The smile faded though, and though she was determined to right the path her life had taken, her chest couldn’t help but tighten at times. Meeting with Nadia, feeling at ease with her, knowing she could trust the woman with her life, just based on this gut feeling---it made her feel guilty. She kept thinking of Machine, even if she should be the one who felt betrayed. She had been the one---but still, she couldn’t help the feeling at times. Even if she knew it was the right thing to do. Even though it was what she wanted.
“Thank you for meeting me. My name’s Knot---not that it might matter soon but---” Her voice softened. “It seemed important to see you in both forms.” Her lips pulled into a half smile as she looked down at the woman. “I want to return to Order, Nadia, and I know you can help me do it.”
And like she had with Sergei, there was also some apologizing and explaining she needed to do for the woman but---she had a feeling this would be good to start with first with Nadia.
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Nadia’s face softened. “You didn’t lose your name tied to ships.” She would’ve explained but it seemed mighty important that Still….Knot said what she needed to say.
She took her arm, laughing cause once upon a time, Olga use to do the same thing. It seemed different though. Knot seemed well….more mature.
“I see.” That was a interesting turn of events, so Nadia thought about it deeply. Her brother had told her that he talked to Still, but nothing of this level. His conversation, he said, wa for them and that she would have one soon. That was fine too.
“I can help you Knot.” She looked up, “But I won’t do it unless you are 100% sure. I will not take your choice away.”
Not like the negaverse had.
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Knot couldn’t help but laugh softly. “What can I say?” She mused. “No matter what, there’s constants I’ll always be drawn to.” Ship related things---Nadia and Sergei, too.
“One hundred and ten percent.” She told the woman, turning Nadia towards her to let her know. She looked into her bright blue eyes, and she let it be known in her own. “You’re not taking it away. It’s a choice I’m making because I want it.” And like she had told Sergei: “I want to mean something. I want permanence, happiness, a chance---and I will not find those if I stay where I am.”
After a moment Knot looked away, and glanced around. She then led the woman towards the Italian cafe, holding onto the hand that was resting on her arm. She had more to say when they got there. She had made reservations, and when they entered, she gave her name. They were then led to a private little booth in the back, in a corner, and luckily there was no other table close by. The woman had picked it on purpose for that reason.
Knot shrugged off her jacket, and slid into the booth. She waited until Nadia was seated across from her before continuing.
“Nadia.” She said, looking at the woman. “I am sorry for the pain I have caused you. I learned the truth---the full truth. That I never made the choice to be here, that I was forced. I let myself be complacent and ignorant during my time here, and I didn’t bother to acknowledge the truth until I could no longer avoid it. What I told you, about being set up that one day a year ago---it was the truth, and it is not your fault that it happened to me. It’s no one’s fault but my own---so please, don’t hold onto that anymore if you still are.”
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Nadia hummed as they walked in, leaving any conversation for the booth of privacy later. She thought it best since they were talking of delicate things. Side swapping in broad daylight when either side could be passing them seemed dangerous but…
The apology made her tear up and she moved from her side of the booth to Knot’s, hugging the woman. If she thought Nadia was going to on the other side now, she was mistaken.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that it came crumbling down.” She looked at Knot, “I know it’s hard, but we are where you are suppose to be. I am selfish enough to say that. Order, and with me and Sergei. You were our family.” She breathed out.
“The person who turned you, do they know what you are planning?” If that was the case, they needed to act quickly. Sergei could forge some identification for Knot, or they could even use Olga’s old information….just do a new name. She needed to plan too.
“How much have you thought out?” Nadia smiled sadly, “With this swap….you will forget us again?”
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Knot scooted over by reflex as Nadia slid into her side, and she was somewhat surprised when the woman hugged her. The last friend she had hugged had been Machine, in good bye. To be held by Nadia---it was both comforting and ripping at the same time. After a moment Knot reached up to wrap her arms around the woman, and after another moment, her hold on the woman tightened. “It’s not your fault that it did, Nadia.” She murmured into the woman’s hair, and would have been tearing up too, if she hadn’t drained herself not a few days prior of tears for now.
“Yes.” Knot answered. “They do...I suppose it’s another part of me that hasn’t changed. An undying loyalty and honesty to those I care about.” She gave a soft and rueful laugh before it faded. “They---Machine---they know but...they told me to go. I know I have a bit of time.” She let go of the woman, but didn’t pull too far away from her, instead she reached up to lightly brush away the tears that built up in Nadia’s eyes.
“Only partly, I hope.” She replied. “That’s why I hope talking to you both as I am now and...otherwise, will be enough to hold me where memories will fail. I have a plan in place though. I have a living situation secured, money, and I’m working on the papers I’ll need for legal documents. In addition to that...I’ve written down my memories. As much as I could, in journals, for me to read once I’m on the other side. To fill in the gaps to the best of my ability. I won’t be making this leap blind, this time.”
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Nadia nodded. She could feel Knot’s tenseness about her and didn’t blame her. It broke her heart that Machine….whoever that was, broke her like so. But Machine must’ve truly loved Still to allow her to leave, even with the little time.
Nadia’s head was trying to formulate.
“Sergei can help with the papers. We need to meet somewhere that’s safe though for you.” She looked up at the woman. “The minute they hear you want to return, you are going to be vulnerable….”
She even hesitated.
“I….I’ve heard that you will not be able to return to Eternal stage Knot. I’ve looked around and read almanacs and…..” She shook her head. “You’re going to vulnerable after the purification. Do you have a place in mind that you want to go to be safe?”
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Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 8:29 am
“It’s here I defer to your judgement, Nadia.” Knot replied. “You tell me where is best, and I will be there.”
A brow rose as the woman hesitated, and at this bit of news, well, it wasn’t so much that she didn’t feel surprised, it was just that of course there would be more to lose. She accepted that. It only got worse before it’d hopefully get better and it was still in the time of getting worse. Knot was silent for a moment. “It doesn’t change anything, Nadia.” She replied. “It’s not going to stop me from doing this.” That was simply fact.
Knot paused as a waitress came by, and she realized they’d been so wrapped up in talking they hadn’t even really looked at anything yet. Knot ordered whatever their wine of the day was, and whatever a popular appetizer was. She continued speaking as the waitress left to complete the order.
She turned back to Nadia. “I don’t.” Knot replied, honestly. “I’m going to be vulnerable no matter where I go, Nadia...even after so...” She smiled a bit. “It is what it is.”
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Nadia sighed.
They needed a place that was safe for everyone. That chaos could not touch. That was protected by power. It was selfish, and pretentious and even a bit overwhelming but she knew just of the place.
“My planet.” She reached out to Knot, taking her hand. “We can take you there. I have a friend….He can help too.” The negaverse couldn’t find them in space, they hadn’t found a way after all.
That’s why senshi still lived on.
“Come to my planet Knot.”
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Knot really wasn't in a place to argue. She honestly also didn’t have an idea of how purification happened, exactly. So if Nadia said her planet was good, then it was good. She glanced down at the woman’s hand briefly before looking back to her face, and nodded.
“I trust you with that decision, Nadia.” She replied. “Your planet, it is.” She was curious about this friend but didn’t pry for now. After all...Nadia knew what she needed to do, and she did trust her with all of this.
“What...happens exactly?” She asked after a moment. “After we get there?”
She supposed she needed to start thinking when too. Soon, she imagined, like within a few days soon. Most of her business was wrapped up, or getting there...and the longer she dawdled, the higher the chance there was of being caught. Or summoned by a Sovereign. Yes. It was best not to dawdle…
But days. Only days, that she’d have all her memories in tact.
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“We call Cosmos. She comes to those whose souls calls out deep in the darkness.” She looked at Knot. “And we purify you. It’s going to be had, Cosmos is powerful and we’ll need her help.” She just wasn’t sure how to call the woman.
Perhaps being on Methone would allow a more….direct approach to her.
“As long as you were with us though, you will be safe.”
She nodded, “Think of who you want to come with. Sergei and I will come, but just in case….We might need back up.” She smiled, “Just in case. Like worst case.”
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Call...Cosmos.
“I see.” Knot replied slowly, not sure what to make of that. It sounded like a being that was god like...so...General Sovereigns could just corrupt senshi but in order to purify, a Cosmos needed to be called? A brow rose as she regarded the woman. “Nadia...all of this is not instilling any more confidence into this whole matter.” She replied, sounded a wee bit amused.
Knot paused once more as the waitress brought the wine and an appetizer.
Once she was gone, the woman continued.
“Yes, Sergei is coming---I asked.” She said softly, and trailed off for a moment. “...I think I have an Eternal I can ask. A friend. I’ll be meeting him, soon and…” Here she paused, and sounded a little grudging. “Maybe one more who would be interested, if I run into him. I don’t have a way to contact him.” That Encke.
“...Soon though, hm?” She asked. “Say...three days from now? I imagine this needs to be done as soon as possible.”
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“As soon as possible.” Nadia nodded. “Three days. Send me details.” She got up, even though she wanted to stay. They were eating food but she couldn’t stay here.
She needed more information. “I will bring Cosmos to you.” She promised before reaching over. “I want to stay, but there is more I need to do. Text me, and Text Sergei.” She smiled. “Soon enough, you’ll be home.”
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Knot blinked as Nadia suddenly got up. Oh. Well. This was urgent, she understood, but she at least thought she’d be able to treat the woman to something nice before her memories went through the scrambler again. She was touched, though. After everything Nadia had suffered, and with how she had dropped back into her life again, the woman was all in for her. Was taking it upon herself to learn more for Knot’s sake, because it was what she wanted.
Her heart ached, for multiple reasons.
The woman squeezed Nadia’s hand. “I understand---thank you, and I will. I’ll text you both soon.”
Now...now she needed to drink some wine, figure out what to do with this food, and then continue on with her own preparations.
Soon...
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