Quote:
A close friend or loved one makes a gift of a fuzzy, oversized sweater that they say they've purchased from one of the local merchants. It's not exactly attractive looking but they seem unfortunately very proud of the purchase so you dutifully at least try it on. This proves to be a poor decision on your part as you soon realize that you're unable to remove the fuzzy monstrosity. Even worse, every word that comes out of your mouth... comes out in song! What the heck?

There's some mischievous magic afoot here but as hard as you try to tug it off or stop breaking into song, you're unable to remove the sweater for one full day and any word out of your mouth happens to have a cheerful tune to it.

Hope you didn't have any major plans for the day!


Shikora hadn't expected to receive a package from her hometown today, but there it was, sitting in front of her door when she got home. She was fairly sure they had already done their gift exchanges, but maybe something was forgotten? Or perhaps it was just sent through a website--

No, that was definitely her sibling's address.

With a cautious, "Hm," under her breath, Shikora scooped up the package and brought it inside with her, shutting the door behind her. Before opening the package, she did a few things around the house, put all of her groceries away, and set aside her food for the night before returning to the package. Should she call before opening this? Was that expected? Or could she just open this and expect to just find something she could thank her sibling for later? What was contained in there? She could call, but then again, it was only 4 pm on the West Coast and she was fairly sure her sibling was likely still at work--

Oh well.

Shikora took out her box cutter and very carefully sliced open the box, revealing a not well wrapped misshapen package and a letter. The letter was opened first, of course, especially since it didn't have an open last label on it.

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Hey Sis!

Was at the winter market this year, saw this and thought of you. You were always getting cold over here for no reason. Pretty sure it's way colder over there, so you probably need it. And yes I know I already sent you your gift it's fine.

I love you. Try to visit sometime.

- Nem


Shikora gave an affectionate smile, setting the letter aside and turning her attention to the wrapped package in front of her. Well, it was probably something warm. It looked rather large too, so she was going to guess that it was more than likely a coat or sweater of some sort. Felt soft too, under her fingers, besides for the crumpling of the wrapping paper. The paper was also taken off carefully, because she wasn't the type to tear into her gifts, revealing that it was indeed what she expected. At least, to some extent. It was ... certainly a sweater.

Yup, a sweater alright.

Looked like it was made for someone twice her size and maybe someone with horrifically gaudy test, but it was indeed a sweater. Why on Earth had her sibling thought of her when they saw this? Why on Pluto had they thought of her? Shikora supposed she could see something. Maybe. She guessed the reindeer on the front looked wooden. Was that it? ... Was it made of actual wood?

Shikora cringed. This sweater was awful. Was this a very well-played joke? Why did they include the I love you notice, because this didn't look like the type of thing she would send to anyone she loved. Where was the taste? The common sense of decency? The correct sizing and something that wasn't wooden on the front? Was this really what was intended for her? Was it just the wooden carving on the front? Who of the winter market merchants had made this mess, because it was, indeed, a hot mess?

If Nem was truly proud of it, though, Shikora should at least make the effort to put the damn thing on. Maybe she could just take a selfie and send it over and then take the sweater off and never wear it again. It wasn't like her family lived on this side of the country, anyway. No one would know if she just never took it out of the recesses of her closet ever again.

Or maybe the recesses of her bottom drawer, she never remembered to check that one...

Like a dutiful sister, Shikora solemnly lifted the sweater over her head and pulled it down over her body. Somehow, the sweater managed to feel both warm and scratchy all at once. She hated it. It made her skin crawl. The material on the inside gave her the same chills as she got when she touched velour or particularly velvety things. She guessed it was warm, at least. Shikora did feel like the heat had been turned on significantly higher in her house, now. Maybe if she was desperate, and had an appropriate underlayer to this monstrosity so she wouldn't have to actually feel it touching her skin in any way, shape, or form.

Maybe.

Shikora lifted up her phone and brushed her hair aside in the cutest way she could muster as much as she wanted to shudder in revulsion at the feel of the material sweeping across her skin. She turned on the appropriate filter, making sure to find one with reindeer ears just to match the fact that there was a carved reindeer on it. And with a sigh, Shikora forced a large grin on her face and snapped the picture.

She guessed it didn't look so bad on, but she still didn't really like it. And why was there a wooden reindeer on it?!

Whatever. Quickly, she tapped out a, Thanks for the sweater, Nem!, and went to take it off.

Except it wasn't budging.

Shikora let out a confused gasp, yanking at the sweater once more. Yanks soon turned to unsuccessful tears, and unsuccessful tears soon turned into emphatic wiggles and increased noises of despair.

And curses.

"What the," why did her voice sound sing-song what the ******** was going on that wasn't how any of this worked, "why am I singing?!" Make it stop make it stop what kind of cursed sweater was this did Chaos get their hands on it why was it still on her why couldn't she get it off what was going on make it stop make it stop-- "Make it stop!" Why was she still singing? This wasn't amusing or funny or worth singing about or really anything and she felt her skin going cold--

Angrily, she swiped up the phone again, this time recording a video to her sibling.

"What the ******** did you get me, I can't get it off!"

Why did her voice sound like she was in a musical?!

The response she got was a rapid-fire typed, Uh, Shik, is this a joke?

So she sung back in a video with a, "******** what s**t's going on with your sweater, I just bought it at random.
Sorry.
Maybe go see a doctor?
I don't know what to do about your singing.
Or the sweater.
Wait.

What on Earth was her sibling trying to type--

Could try burning it with acid?

Shikora blinked.

... Bruh.

Look, I tried. I'm a scientist, not a ... materials designer what would that even qualify under?

Shikora let out a frustrated scream, nearly tossing her phone to the side and flopping onto the couch face first.

Ow.

That wooden reindeer really hurt.