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Name: Marisa Singer

Nickname: Risa

Age: 25

Birthday: November 15, 1992

Sign: Scorpio

Gemstone: Citrine

Blood Type: Tainted - she's a half youma. Prior she was B

Fav. Food: Seafood and Salad.

Hated Food: She's not a fan of super spicy food.

School: Prior to becoming a half youma she was finishing her degree in Oceanography.

Hobbies:

Scuba Diving This is kind of both a seasonal and occupational hobby. Marisa has been scuba diving since she was in high school, it was prompted by her love for aquatic animals and the desire to be in the water with them. She has gone diving in the pacific northwest but much prefers the vibrant reefs or clear waters. Though she won't ever tell her parents, she has plans to go scuba diving with sharks for work related purposes of course... (Powered plots must be mule approved for locations outside of Destiny City)

Stone Sculpting This was actually a bit of a surprise hobby. Out of boredom she had, over time, collected several river stones perfect for skipping across the lake but instead of tossing them over the waters surface she kept them simply just because. After fiddling around on YouTube one day she came across an artist that carved intricate designs into river stones. Intrigued she went out and bought a tool similar to his and before she knew it every flat-surfaced stone she had saved had been sculpted into some rather beautiful pieces that were later given away as gifts.

Watercraft Growing up, her family owned a lake-side vacation home that had it's own dock. Relatives were welcome to use the space throughout the year but every summer they would go out there for three to five weeks to just get away from their busy city life. It was pretty common for them to host family reunions here. Activities included kayaking, canoeing, as well as water skiing with a small speedboat. While in college she was a part of a dragon-boat racing team for three years and won a few competitions before having to sadly quit after an injury. Since then she has gone back to kayaking since it is less taxing on her shoulder.

Virtues:

Achievement Driven The success of a day is determined by how many things she can accomplish in that time frame. She is goal oriented and keeps herself quite organized with lists and updated calendars so she knows what's coming up and when things are due. Don't worry though she has time allocated for some rest and relaxation too. She isn't so busy that fun isn't an option.

Water Under the Bridge Sure things irritate her and she can get a bit ... moody... to put it lightly. But come the next day, or even a few hours later, she's already moved past it especially for small transgressions. While a lot of people forgive and not forget, she would really just rather not dwell or worry about it and get on with her day.



Flaws:

Snappy If she has made plans to do something it is best to not try to change them on her last minute. This makes her very irritable and vocal about her displeasure on having to re-organize her plans for the day. The severity is made worse if she is not able to meet her goal set for the day. So long as you give her at least three days notice then she can plan accordingly, but changes last minute are a no go.

Enigma Marisa is not what one would consider an open book by any means. She has a bit of a poker face that makes her difficult to read and can sometimes be considered a bit of a resting b- face by people who don't really know her. At times she can look like she is paying attention and listening to what you're saying when in actuality she really isn't. Her secretive nature prompts her to mostly keep thoughts to herself so there really is no way to tell what's on her mind without directly asking.



PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Cyan

Hair: Power blue

Clothes:Pre-half youma she generally wore whatever was affordable and comfortable. Post half youma she usually only uses her glamour to partake in watercraft activities so her outfit would usually consist of a bathing suit or wet suit.

Good afternoon, Shan! I’m here to leave a crit and help you along your way to getting a stamp and getting you up and running to play your new Half-Youma! Congrats on your win! Let us begin!

Civilian

All of her basic information seems A-OK to me, as do her personality and hobbies. It is all very well written and I adore all the water-related hobbies!

To keep in mind, as she becomes more used to being a half-youma, if her hobbies change, or if she finds herself being more fond of something else to do as a hobby due to her limitations of glamour and energy, you’re always welcomed to submit a revision of hobbies!

Powered

Lavendulan is such a cool sounding name, and is free to use so you’re all set with that part! Once everything is approved for her, profile wise, will need you to send in a plot explaining how she got to this point in her life to be turned into a half-youma before an official stamp can be dropped. It can be short, if you wish, but she must be awakened in the past 2 weeks and been youmafied within that time. Both things could have happened at once (ie. Botched corruption). We want to ensure that we can answer that question if it comes up at a later date.

For her Physical abilities, I believe it reads just fine. Because she will almost never be in a completely submerged fight, we can break it down to her main weapon here is her claws, with the minor defense of the scales. And there are no issues with any of the reasoning behind them as well.

However, there is an issue with how much is described in her Magical abilities. While turning into water is fine puddle-jumping, the extra boost in power while she's wet, the distorted form, dampened signature, and popping out of the water all read as additional abilities.

To touch on a few of her listed abilities, as she is a Negaverser, come second stage she will automatically have the ability to teleport at second stage, so instead of making puddle jumping an ability, you could have her teleport in her water form to another puddle instead.

The ability to be completely immune to physical attacks reads as a bit over powered, as she could essentially disappear from a fight and avoid most damage as she is now. When thinking of physics, electricity would still hurt her, as would heat, as it could boil the water around her. And then there’s cold attacks which could potentially freeze her in place. It is unrealistic to believe she could be immune to everything at once while in this form and reads as too powerful for someone who is the equivalent of a Lieutenant. While you could make this a focus of her ability, as knights do have the ability do protect themselves, it would have to be a limited amount of time that she could hold that form and be protected. I'd like to suggest picking one aspect of what you'd like her to be able to do and fleshing that out more.

The idea of turning into water is a really neat ability, and a strong one at that, so what can she do while she's in the water? The first idea that came to mind is that because she is water, perhaps she can water-bend (Avatar the Last Airbender) style for the duration of her magic. You could also add on the scurrying water ability, where her puddle form flows like a rapid stream, increasing her speed, and allowing her to quickly change location, or “puddle jump” that way. As another thought, if she does take this ability on, what would happen if she was somehow dispersed, her water form split apart from each other? Would that separate her consciousness, or would it be like loosing a leg?

The most important thing to take from these comments is that as it is written now, there is too much to focus on for it to be considered as a single ability for her. If you can choose a single idea you’d like to focus on most, we can think of ways that ability can be applied naturally. Say if you did choose to waterbend, a subsidiary ability of that would be that it could pick up and throw people, or knock them down. That would come naturally with such an ability, but we’d have to put limits on it so that it isn’t seen as overpowered.

However, as she upgrades, you can submit a revision to beef her up to the next level, so that her magical abilities better reflect her mastery of them and her increase in power and experience. I'm happy to work with you to pick out a single focus for her Magic and get you approved shortly!

It's A-Okay, Shan! You took the suggestion to heart, and re-wrote things in a way that makes it work AND leaves ample space for growth when Lavendulan is ready for it!

The example works well, and if it comes down to it, you can always discuss it with the player pre-battle.

Everything is looking swell, so I'm going to drop the trial stamp here! We'll keep an eye out for the plot to come through and will review it promptly, then a GM will be by with the official stamp!

Thank you for your patience!