Quote:
As Halloween draws near, a good number of the shops at the local mall have decided to take part in the festivities by handing out candy bars and bite-sized goodies to all of the customers who stop by. You score a fair amount of sweets while you're out and about.

After you consume a handful of them, though, you discover you don't feel.. quite right. You can't put your finger on why you don't feel right but soon the side effects from your candy munching come to light. When you sweat, your perspiration is noticeably brown and smells sickeningly sweet... almost like chocolate. In fact, your natural scent has seemed to take on a more sweet approach, as if you were a walking candy bar yourself. You've got no clue which shop handed out the cursed candy but the saccharine effect on you lasts for an entire day, until the candy has made it out of your system.

What. The ********.
NO ONE TOLD HIM THAT IN AMERICA THEY JUST… GAVE OUT CANDY???? AT STORES??? TO EVERYONE? Not JUST kids? What the ********?!? Winston had never really celebrated Halloween before, so he was kind of going all out. But no one told him how much people loved the holiday? To the point the stores in the mall just had candy for you to take? One piece, like you were sane and responsible and not going to just hit up every story like some deranged candy gremlin like he was from the United Kingdom.
Laden pockets of pilfered, (well, freely given and offered), candy Winston went home from the mall with his new clothes, that expensive lush hair crème he liked, and also a free copy of ‘finding god, your search for Jesus can end now!’ book from the guy who wouldn’t leave him along in the food court.
He picked through the candy slowly over the course of an hour, binging the new Netflix season of great British bake off- (sure, he paid extra to get BBC but sometimes you just needed to watch the old seasons with Mary and Paul for reasons). So for a while, Winston didn’t notice it. The sticky sweat that had a shade and color. The cloyingly disgusting sweet smell that permeated everything. The fact everything he ate tasted like chocolate, even the nuggat. But after a decent hour of watching poor people try to bake to the unforgiving whims of sponge and fresh fruit added in, Winston finally picked up on something not quite right when he went to the bathroom and saw brown at his arm pits.

Needless to say, he screamed. A shower didn’t help. It made it worse really, because of how aware he became from it. He was sweating it. Chocolate that wasn’t chocolate it was just nasty and gross. He hated this city and it’s magical bullshit. He had a day off from work and this was what he had to deal with? Really? This? Yelling in frustration he didn’t bother asking anyone for help because A) disgusting, B) embarrassing, C) the negaverse might think he was full of s**t and he’d rather not get pinned for doing more work which in his current state he was loathe to do. A sticky sweet uniform running around the city? No thanks. He also had to think of how the brown would show on white so he’d rather not look like a disgusting hot mess. Not even a *hot* mess, just a mess. The worst kind.
Calling into work the next day, Winston hated the rest of his waking hours, mournfully taking a cold shower and getting into bed, knowing he would make the sheets need a fresh wash in the morning.

When said morning rolled around, Winston, bitter about his chocolate fiasco did exactly as he planned. Washed his clothes, his sheets, (putting in extra scent tablets), and taking an extra long shower. He seemed fine now but ******** magic city really got on his nerves. Even with it’s free candy.