Welcome to Gaia! ::

Rhona already had her henshin pen in hand when she read the text, her own call to arms halfway out of her mouth before her phone rung again. The x’s and o’s should have tipped her off that it wasn’t that big of a deal, but really. When was Rhona ever a woman of calm and logical thought?



But that didn’t mean that she didn’t hurry over. She had been cleaning her apartment for the coming fall, banishing dust and grime that would otherwise be trapped inside and flourish over the long winter. She was glad to get out. And besides that, Rhona had enjoyed having Lavender back in her life again. She got up and texted her first thing, sent various daily updates about the shop and how people tested her on an hourly basis. And then she texted right before bed.

Oh no, did she have a crush on her again?

Rhona pushed the thought as far from her mind as she could, careful not to put too much stock in what Lavender was offering. They were friendly, and Rhona was not about to sabotage that by going too far with what she was given.

“Later, Alois. I’m headed out.”

The tiny black tom kitten didn’t even raise his head from his place, curled up among her potted plants. He did, however, crack one yellow eye and then shut it tightly again. Did he even like Rhona, or was she just a hot meal and a warm bed for him? Not that it mattered. He didn’t actively ruin her things, so coexistence was fine.

On her way, Rhona picked up a few things, like a bottle of cheap wine and some pastries, figuring that she could contribute something to their pizza night. After all, what was better than greasy pizza, cheap wine, and croissants? Had all the makings of a great time if you asked Rhona Lee. She arrived at Lavender’s place about half an hour after she called, bumping the door with the bottle in lieu of knocking.

The hug caught Rhona off guard, if only because she’d been without any real human touch for so long. Well… aside from the odd one night stand but that didn’t really count. Affection didn’t really… happen… in those interactions. And she hadn’t had any of those since Lavender came to the church anyway. She tried once a week afterwards but… Rhona couldn’t even get the girl out the door. It wasn’t that the young lady wasn’t willing, it was just that it felt like betrayal. Which was absurd because Lavender wasn’t her girlfriend anymore, but still. She couldn’t shake the feeling. Even just being at her usual haunt made her feel like she was sneaking around. A young man she often fooled around with wanted to take a selfie but she declined, citing her brows being off. The real reason? What if Lavender saw?

Emotions were messy at best, and Rhona didn’t really understand them no matter her introspection. But Rhona did know that she was glad for the hug, even if it crushed the box painfully against her sternum. It didn’t matter. All the better for it coming from Lavender. And she hugged her back with the arm that wasn’t pinned between Lavender and the pastry box, squeezing as hard as she could right back.

“Lav, first of all you’ve gotta know that I love hugging you,” Rhona finally began when she realized that they were still standing there, “but do you think we can move this inside maybe? Then maybe I can use both my arms?”

And then suddenly she was inside. If anyone ever told Rhona that she was a lot every again, she was going to direct them to Lavender, who always seemed to be crushing or dragging Rhona around. Was this how other people felt around her? Not that it was an unpleasant feeling, it was just that Rhona was just about to tell Lavender that it wasn’t a big deal and not to worry, and then she was deposited inside of her apartment. Confused also wasn’t the right word, more like… surprised. At all times. Pleasantly so but surprised all the same.

I love

Rhona’s heart leapt into her throat and almost choked her. But it wasn’t the same anxiety that gripped her last winter. It was different, in some very important and fundamental ways that Rhona was not yet ready to explore.

hugging you too.

Was she relieved that she didn’t have to examine those feelings now, or let down that she didn’t get the chance.

“Oh, um… I figured I should contribute something, so I picked up some croissants. Just something a little lighter to cut through the grease on the pizza you know. Soak it up before it settles in the hips.” Plans? What plans? Rhona regarded Lavender for a long moment, her eyes following Lavenders.

“Something in my teeth,” she asked, turning a bit to the side to rub at her front teeth self consciously. “Sorry about that. I swear that I have a hygiene routine…”

It wasn’t so much what Lavender had said as it was the way that she had said it that froze Rhona. But again, it wasn’t anxiety. It was processing. It was her brain on a track going one direction and that needing to grind to a halt and change that direction. So when Lavender moved from the topic of Rhona’s lips to the croissants, all Rhona could do was utter a pitifully stupid “uh… oh yeah” even if she wasn’t 100% sure what she was responding to.

Her lips? Rhona’s brain was finally coming around. Lavender was looking at her lips? Okay but why? Well, the answer was fairly obvious, and it sent her heart swan diving from her throat to her toes, taking all of the blood in her head with it. Had she fainted? Rhona felt like she fainted. But she was still on her feet. Can you faint without falling over? Or was that just a stroke? Did she just have a stroke? That would explain her hearing Lavender saying that she was looking at her lips.

Except for that Lavender was talking again and it was all going fine until Lavender said something about kissing and suddenly she sounded like the teacher from Charlie Brown. Rhona blinked hard several times, swaying on her feet, and forced her brain to work the way it was supposed to work. The sounds Lavender was making translated in her mind, like when she was in Spanish in high school and she had to actively figure out what was being said to her. Blankets and halloween movies and kissing and wait where was she going? Why was she moving? Rhona hadn’t made the conscious decision to move but now that she was she couldn’t make it stop. Not until she had taken the spot that had been offered to her except way closer. Like way closer. Evidently, and again without Rhona’s actual consent, her body tucked one knee close next to Lavender and stood on the other, reached out with certainty that she was not aware that she felt until exactly that moment, and pulled Lavender’s face to meet hers.

There was a moment of hesitation while Lavender processed what was happening, when Rhona worried that she’d crossed a line. That Lavender was just teasing her. Or maybe that Rhona was so out of practice that Lavender took it all back. The universe paused in that instant, and all turning of the earth halted. It was the instant between the flash of lightning and crash of thunder. The held breath before the cry.

But then the moment passed the world began to rocket through space once more. Thunder crashed and Rhona could swear she heard a cry of joy loud enough to split them fabric of reality. Lavender’s arms were around her pulling her closer and Rhona hadn’t kissed or been kissed in so long that she didn’t realize how much she missed it. How much she hungered for it. But that wasn’t just it. Memories surged to the front of her mind, so long hidden and locked away. The taste of Lavender’s lip gloss. The smell of her skin. The press of every dip and rise of her body against Rhona’s. It all slammed against her like a freight train, sending all of her blood rushing through her skull and into her stomach where it roiled relentlessly.

She met Lavender with her own zeal and then doubled it, as was her way, unable to stop when she was getting too greedy or asking too much. Would Lavender push her away in her excitement? Was Rhona still too much too fast? True, Lavender had made the first advance, first finding her at the Market and now all but demanding Rhona’s lips. But Rhona was taking her inch and sprinting down the causeway with it.

Had their kiss lasted an instant or a lifetime? It was impossible to tell, but she knew that however long it lasted, it wasn’t long enough. Lavender pulled away and Rhona was unable to stop the whine that slid out from between her lips or the way she lurched forward, her lips searching for what they had lost. Heat pooled in the pit of her stomach and swirled like a caldera full of lava as she pulled uselessly at Lavender’s blouse, unsure of why she was doing so other than as a way to keep her own hands busy.

“I don’t… think I want pizza, Lavender.”

Well, Lavender was right. They would be hungry eventually, as nature demanded, but ordering pizza right now would mean that Rhona would have to get up off of Lavender and that didn’t seem like an option. Especially with Lavender’s hand warm on her face and her own pulse thrumming in her ears. Was Lavender speaking? Rhona heard my Rho and the blood in her head shot to her stomach and further south and that was all she heard. She was searching again, her lips ghosting over whatever skin she could find, trying so hard to focus but doing some a terrible job.

Do you want to try being my girlfriend again?

The question may have registered a few seconds after Lavender asked it but it really was her fault that Rhona was struggling to stay present, talking about kissing like she was and being so damn pretty. But as soon as Rhona’ brain registered what she said, her breathing caught in her throat and her brain slammed back into startling reality. It made her sit back suddenly and nearly curl back in on herself, not from the question, but from her own memories of what happened.

“If you’ll take me… I mean,” she muttered, voice struggling it find itself in her throat, “I wasn’t that good at it before… I can’t promise that I’m any better at it now.” Even as the bright yes fluttered against her chest, Rhona still caged it, afraid of the pain that she had caused Lavender not 6 months before. The sound of her crying, the feeling of her leaving, the chill of her absence… all of it punishment for Rhona’s selfishness.

“I hurt you a lot Lav. I think I’ve changed but… I’m not sure. But I mean… if you’ll take me…”

Rhona took Lavender’s hands from her face and held them, suddenly very interested in Lavender’s fingers as she squeezed and messaged them.

“I still fight too much. I’m still impulsive. But I’ll try and keep you posted when I risk my life, at least,” Rhona forced a laughed despite her own very sudden anxiety. “I’ve been hurting too… hurting because I hurt you and I didn’t know what I could do about it then… but I think I do now… and if you’ll take me then…” she looked up then, eyes feeling too hot, “then I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

Rhona honestly wasn’t sure what reaction she would garner. She had been honest, Lavender deserved that much, but honest might not have been exactly what Lavender wanted to hear. After she said it, Rhona realized that she sounded like she was making excuses, trying to find a way out. But now that the words were out in the universe there was no way to take them back.

But Lavender understood. Against all odds she understood the mess that Rhona was trying to explain. And she kissed her cheek, an achingly gentle touch against her flesh that warmed her to her core. And it left her wanting more.

In her anxiety, Rhona was easily maneuvered, and folded herself effortlessly against Lavender, listening to her speaking. Felt the vibrations through her sternum. Rhona’s own heart leapt as Lavender said, understanding with both terrifying and beautiful clarit what they were agreeing to. A second chance. It could go the same way it went before. It could go better.

Rhona hoped it went better.

She would make sure it went better.

“I like the idea of looking forward,” Rhona finally muttered, coiling her own arms around Lavender’s slender waist, so different from her own solid, athletic figure. Lavender always reminded her of a snowflake. So delicate. “So we’ll look forward.” And then, because serious topics made Rhona nervous and Rhona go stupid when she was nervous, she finished with, “hopefully to pizza in the very near future.”