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 Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2018 3:12 pm
Nothing felt easy today, not for the dark Goddess at least. Her chest felt a considerable weight take it's hold, crushing her spirit as she fell deeper into her own mind's abyss. The news of her oldest son passing had come so suddenly and swift - she felt like she had no time to mourn him, not properly at least. Xiu would never forgive herself for failing to save her own son's life. She could have summoned Zimran, she could have made him well again. She simply had no idea that he was sick, not until the news of his death reached her in the form of her nephews visiting. They both looked at her like she was some sort of malformed demon... it only helped chip away at her self-worth and confidence. Perhaps she was a demon, a twisted creature born from hate. She felt disgusting and for the first time in years, she felt despair. Xiu would hide herself away in her mortal skin, concealing herself from the world and her duties, if just for today. How could she face the world feeling so small and worthless? The dark lioness felt like she had nothing to offer anyone. Not anymore. "Ramlin..." She softly cried, curling herself up into a tight ball, her paws covering most of her face as she wept in silence inside her cave of solitude.
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Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2018 11:53 pm
Something had been dark in the air around Xiu that Faun couldn't put a paw on. He had no idea that she was in mourning of her eldest sons passing but he knew that something was wrong. There had been a lot of strange activity that the pride had been experiencing as of late which had Faun with his paws full making a moment alone something hard to come by. It had been hard for the high lord to break away from his scribes and chevaliers coming to him with their concerns. While it was shameful for Faun to say admit it; his mind was on Xiu right now and what was wrong more than the troubles of ghosts or tremors or even the lights in the sky. Normally, yes, his mind and heart was with these concerns and the pride but it had been weeks of the same complaints and no one was any closer to figuring out how to fix things. Of course his mind wandered some with this new feeling. A chance to break free presented it self to him in the evening where he could slip away and haunt the entrance to Xiu Xiu's den. The silver lion leaned on the wall and looked in with his concerned blue eyes. "Ramlin..?" The high lord repeated unsure if maybe Xius mood could be linked to a past lover or maybe a current lover? Was this jealousy that was spiking in his heart? The silver lion was quick to hush such feelings as there was no proof and these concerns were quite selfish on his part. "I'm sorry Xiu. I don't mean to listen in but ... " He wanted to be there for her.
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Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2018 6:01 pm
She would never have guessed that the reserved Lord was a jealous type, even flirting with the idea of being jealous seemed so unnatural to him, well, from the outset at least. Xiu hadn't even thought of what he would think of her in such a state, her eyes wandered over to his figure as he spoke out to her, his comfort was welcomed with soft smile - forced, but welcomed.
"Oh, goodness, I'm a mess. Forgive me." Her voice was raspy from her crying.
"It's alright, really. It's just... some bad news from back home." The dark lioness felt guilt wash over her like cold water as she lowered her head to her paws once again.
"My oldest son is dead." She announced without hesitation. She wouldn't leave him guessing as to why she felt this way. Maybe as well be honest with everything if she was going to show him what who she was, inside and out.
"It's just... I feel like I could have done more. As a mother." Xiu spoke with her head lowered still, her eyes covered in a blanket of darkness.
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Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2018 8:10 am
When one hears that a relative of a loved one has died there is a strange pause and even a calm for a moment. This was true for Faun as he stared allowing the news to absorb in to his mind and heart unsure how to feel. It was not that he doubted that Xius son was dead but more that the words sounded unreal like he wasn't the one standing there just now and he was witnessing an event from far away. Xiu and his body were like two characters before him acting out some strange tragic play and he was floating in the abyss above it all witnessing it. Suddenly, he felt his consciousness take weight and he fell back in to his body so fast it would give one whiplash. Blue eyes filled with tears for Xiu over the sadness and realization of the loss of a loved one. Though, yes, he did not know her son he knew the pain of losing some one. He'd never known his own mother as she had died when he was too young to have known her but to see the reality of a mothers love and sadness realized in himself and he echoed Xius tears. "I had .. no idea," Faun began taking a few steps closer towards Xiu and bumping his forehead to hers in a loving way. Though, he also had no idea that she had children; that wasn't what was important right now. What was important was that the gray high lord be there for Xiu and nothing more.
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Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 11:14 am
His comfort meant more to her than she could properly express right now, even so... she found herself searching for words to give him to assure him that she needed him still, her eyes settling on his as he came in for a nuzzle. It was nice, when he was around she did feel better, he had a very relaxing effect on her. Maybe that was why she liked him so much?
No one had been able to tame her wild heart, yet this pale lion knew just what not to say to keep her from tipping over into her temper.
"Thank you." She was finally able to muster.
"I have three sons and a daughter." Xiu quickly wanted to n** this conversation in the butt, knowing what he must have thought.
"And they are all older than you, I'm sure of it." She had been around for so long, it wasn't shocking to think that she had a life before him, after all, she was a Goddess. Still, some part of her felt a little sad right now, thinking about her past. She had never had a mate, let alone trusted a male. The only time she ever settled with one was just long enough for her to have a cub and leave.
She loved all of her children.
"Ramlin was my oldest, you see. I've never... lost a child before." It was... hard. She honestly had no words for this feeling she now felt.
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Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 6:32 pm
Faun could have stayed right there nuzzled up against Xiu. He pressed his forehead to hers for as long as he could letting the embrace end only when it was starting to feel a little weird. So she had cubs that were older than him which for some reason surprised Faun just a bit. It was easy to forget that Xiu was , after all, a goddess which meant she was ageless. However, this fact did not bother Faun as he saw her being older than him as none threatening and maybe a little sexy. The gray lion was not about to admit out loud the latter. "I am sure it would warm his heart to know you mourn him," Faun offered with a weak smile. After all, he was still comforting her and this was a very serious matter. "I would like to know my mom would mourn my passing when my time comes."He sighed, "My mom beat me to it though. Hopefully she'll greet me when it is time."
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Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 6:53 pm
Though his intentions all sat on the side of kind and genuine she felt her heart sink even further as he mentioned his own passing. She couldn't handle the thought of that now too. With her eyes half-way closed she felt her lower lip quiver, words passing her without a clear thought.
"Please, don't." She had a hard time expressing herself. In her earlier years she had been a fiery soul who loved to argue and fight, her heart cold from broke promises of what could have been. Still, apart of her would have carry that flame. Would he be able to accept that?
"I don't want to think about losing you too." She finished her thought, her wolf-like eyes settled on him again. She hadn't moved yet, the dark lioness was find it hard to leave this spot. She hoped he could understand.
"No mother should ever out live a child." Xiu felt awful in knowing she would out live them all. Still, her heart was allowed to be fragile right now, she gave herself this bit of kindness.
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Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:02 pm
The words chosen by Faun had been insensitive to the situation of the here and now. Faun did not always have the foresight to know how his words came off as he tended to speak with his well intended logic some times more than using his heart fully. This error of words hit him pretty hard as he watched those sad wolf like eyes. His own heart dropped at the thought that maybe he'd poured a bit of salt on to Xius wounds. "You're right," He placed a paw on top of her own and never let his blue eyes drop from her own. "I can not imagine the pain you're going through right now but I can promise to stay here with you by your side and help shoulder some of the pain ... if you're okay with that.." He kept his paw on top of her own feeling very serious in his meaning. He'd not let her feel this alone when he was here for her. "Xiu. Could you tell me more about your son? What are your favorite memories?" He allowed him self to curl beside her.
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Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:13 pm
The small acts of kindness and care he was offering her meant the world to the darker female. She was so beside herself, maybe talking about her son would be helpful. She felt a smile creep back across her maw as he rested a paw on top of her own, her eyes watery and half full still.
"He was a bit of a jackass, if I could be honest." She found herself laughing at her own words. She wondered what Vati would do now without Ramlin, his son's mate was loyal to him and her family. She sighed in deeply, maybe she would visit her some time to check up?
"He gave me wonderful grandcubs, and a lot of memories. Both good and bad." Xiu nodded at her own words and made room for him to share with her, she enjoyed him being close, it felt right.
"You know, I loved a mortal once and it turned out to be nothing but heartache." She was referencing Ramlin's late father.
As she spoke she glanced over at him, her eyes narrow and still.
"Be careful with the gifts I give you." Maybe he didn't know what that meant yet, but Xiu Xiu wanted to make herself very clear, she had no room for secrets or lies. If he was going to be by her side... he needed to know everything.
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Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:35 pm
Warmth was felt from how Xiu Xiu talked about her son and Faun was happy to bask in her memories. She was describing a very real lion which made it easier for Faun to connect to the faceless cub he had not known about until moments ago. Maybe he shouldn't think about a lion who had grand cubs as a cub but the way Xiu described him as his mother it felt like he was a cub to her. At least, from Fauns perspective. The conversation sobered a bit at the mention of another mortal lover. Faun was not surprised by this as Xiu Xiu was the most lovely lioness he'd ever seen and she was much wiser than himself which tended to go hand in hand with life experiences. He was here for a first of her experiences and though it was not a good one he was glad to be there for her while she experienced it. The demeanor shift in Xiu caught Faun a little off guard. He stayed still for a moment before giving her a very clear nod. "I'll cherish you my whole life," He said with out missing beat. Being in love was a new experience for the High Lord and he wasn't sure what to make of it.
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Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:43 pm
"Mmm..." She trailed off, looking back down at her paw that was snug underneath his own. His company had made her feel better, and though she might not have been able to tell him how much it meant to her right now, she was going to show him someday and in return... be the one he could also lean on when the tides rolled in and sadness swept though his own heart.
"Stay with me for a while? I could use it." She wanted him to stay, maybe if only for a short nap. Xiu had never offed to let any mortal, let alone a male sleep beside her, but this felt new, this was different. Her natural attraction made it easy for her to submit to her more emotional side. The dark lioness just needed to feel him close, the warmth of his own pelt felt so familiar. Like home.
"It'll help me sleep." She nodded, lowering her head to her paws, resting her cheek against his own paw that was still resting on her own, her body curled beside his.
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Posted: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:47 pm
The request was not a strange one but it was a first for Faun to have a female request this of him. He was not about to let that request fall on deaf ears either as he nodded his head in agreement. "I'll stay," His voice was soft and hushed as he laid his chin down on top of her head and he allowed his body to curl with hers. Faun felt strangely whole in that moment but he wouldn't be able to explain the why. Xiu Xiu felt right to have beside him and he'd never had anything like this in his short mortal life. Some how the weight of his responsibilities didn't feel so bad when he was around her. The two would share this nap and warmth.
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