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 Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:00 pm
Laurence stepped down from the stage with a face devoid of any emotion. He seemed entirely impassive, more stoic than he had been before. He’d been nervous, of course; the police had told him it would be best to have the whole family on camera during the statement, that it would be better to elicit an emotional response to guilt anyone who might know of Tobias’ whereabouts.
An obliging son, Laurence had agreed.
He’d stood, just a few feet behind his tearful mother and his grim-face father as they gave a heartfelt plea to Destiny City, to anyone who might know where their son had disappeared two.
Two weeks ago, Tobias had gone missing. For two weeks, they’d agonized over his location. They’d known something was wrong when he didn’t text, when he didn’t move. When his bank account wasn’t touched. When his phone hadn’t been used in over twenty four hours.
They’d been a mess. Laurence remembered his mother calling him home frantically, begging to hear that he and Tobias had gotten into a fight and that he was just throwing a tantrum.
Ever the good son, Laurence had immediately come home to help. He had accumulated a good amount of time off from work; he’d never really called out before. He couldn’t afford to, but it wasn’t the money, it was the effort.
Laurence always gave everything his best effort.
So, he’d stood behind his parents, giving his best effort to support them as they suffered the greatest loss of their life. He’d taken the opportunity to wonder what his brother was doing, where he was, how the purification went. He hadn’t heard anything, so he partly wondered if that meant that Tobias had forgotten him.
That he really had lost his brother forever.
‘Tobias is our baby, our precious son. We’d never wanted anything more than a child, my husband and I. And we tried for so hard. Tobias was our little Miracle,’ his mother had read from the podium. His eyes hadn’t been on her; it wasn’t really any surprise that she would cheese things up to gain that emotional appeal.
‘ A mother’s love for her child knows no limits, has no boundaries. I know my baby’s out there, I know someone knows where he is.’
Laurence found his head bowing just slightly, but he gave no other tells.
‘He’s a good boy. I know he wouldn’t get into any trouble. He’s got such a wonderful future ahead of him. Every day, he’s doing something wonderful. He tries so hard, and makes us so proud.’
Okay. Sure, Tobias technically didn’t really do anything but play video games, and he still hadn’t moved out of the house, and he hadn’t really done anything, but—it was okay. Emotional appeal. Say what you need to in order to get your son back, that’s fine.
‘Really. Tobias is our pride and joy. He’s our reason for living. Without him, we don’t know what to do.’.
Laurence’s jaw set and he glanced up sharply, for the first time really shaken by something his mother had said.
His mother’s breath hitched; she had tears in her eyes. His father stepped in and said in a husky voice, ‘I love my son. He’s the child everyone wishes they had. I just want to say that no matter what’s happened to him, we don’t care. As long as he comes home safe and sound. No questions.’
‘And there’s a reward!’ his mother said quickly, ‘Any price, I don’t care. Please. We just need our baby back. Tobias, honey, you’re my whole heart. I need you home. We need you back. Please.’
Laurence’s eyes lingered on his parents, a mixture of surprise and emptiness. For a split second, the raw emotion was there. The cold, bitter reminder that he was never good enough. The noise of the crowd dulled; he knew there were questions, voices. He could see the cameras on the podium, the cameras flashing, but they blurred in his vision. All he could do was stare at the back of their heads in silent, repressed grief. There was a burning in the back of his throat, a twisting in his stomach.
His hands had been folded before him, but now he found himself gripping one wrist so tightly his nails pierced through flesh and drew blood. It didn’t matter; he didn’t feel it. He was cold, but not so cold that it really even felt like anything.
It sort of felt like floating in a cool pool—there, but weightless. A part of something, but not really.
He knew his mother had said more; he could see her mouth moving. His father chimed in, but the only sound he heard was the soft echo of some metallic chime. He had shifted into impassiveness; he didn’t have the energy for this.
Sleepless nights doing search efforts when he knew his brother was technically gone. Alive, but not himself—whether he knew it or not. Laurence hadn’t slept more than three hours a night since his mother’s call. He hadn’t eaten a full meal since the day before he’d found out. If he ate anything, he couldn’t really keep it down.
He worried about his brother, about his well being, just the same as his parents. Only, he had hope. Maybe an email would come. Maybe a letter. Maybe some stranger on the side of the road was going to stop him one day. He could do nothing more than hope.
But what hope he’d been saving faded, and he felt the shame of jealousy—for his missing brother, who had lost everything.
There was movement on the stage; his mother was being led away by the police officer, his father behind her. They hadn’t even looked at him.
This was fine. This was all fine.
His parents would go to do whatever it was they did. Cry and talk and throw money at the police officers.
Laurence waited for the crowd to clear on the stage and stood, head bowed, on the stage. He slid his hands into his pockets, only vaguely aware of a dull soreness from his now injured hand. When he had a path, he moved downstairs and into the dispersing crowd. Gale was there, somewhere, in that strange, hazy moment he couldn’t remember why. He wanted to disappear amongst the people. He didn’t matter, he’d never mattered.
He brushed past people, eyes on the ground. He could vaguely make out shapes in his peripheral as he weaved around the bustling journalists and other members of the group, trying to remember—albeit barely—why he had chosen to go through the crowd instead of around it.
He was supposed to…
Supposed to be doing…
Something.
With someone.
…And yet, all he could think about was Tobias, and where he was, and what he was doing.
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:02 pm
Gale had watched the press conference with an aching heart. She knew that Laurence was worried about his brother--knew that even though they had their differences, things had gotten a lot better between them recently, enough that they were friends, hanging out almost weekly and she had noticed how happy Laurence had become as a result. Like a large weight had been lifted off of his shoulders....like he was able to breathe easier.
When Tobias disappeared though, the sadness came back, and worse than before. Though...he hadn’t been really..okay for perhaps a week or so before that, if she were being honest. It was as though he knew something was wrong. Knew it and...didn’t know what to do about it. And she didn’t know how to help him at all. And after seeing this stupid...shabby excuse for a press conference...she…
Well. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to help him again.
The way his face twisted, the way he had paled...it damn near broke her heart, and for one fleeting moment, she was almost glad she didn’t have to worry about her parents playing favorites anymore. Not that they would have ever done so...and Karone was so much older than her it didn’t really matter but...but her Laurence…
She watched him blindly enter the crowd, watched him walk right past her, watched as his face remained twisted with an agony that she wasn’t sure she could even begin to imagine.
Quickly, Gale hurried after him and without saying anything, she took his hand firmly in hers. Someone else was suffering and her own problems seemed as far away as the moon right now...not that her depression had been that much of an issue lately, but still. If it had been...it wouldn’t have mattered now.
She tugged him through the crowd and back to his car, not saying a word, not wanting him to break down in this group of people. Not wanting him to have to say anything at all. And when they got to the car, Gale reached over and removed the male’s keys from his pocket and nodded to the passenger seat. “Please, get in Laurence. I’m driving.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:02 pm
The hand in his own was enough to bring him back to awareness, at least a bit.
“Oh, Gale,” he said, in an airy, almost tired voice. It was little more than a whisper, despite him giving his best efforts to be heard over the crowd “There you are.”
There was a vague clarity; he remembered a bit more, though it felt like he was trudging through a dream, so close to waking up but trapped by the weight of his thoughts.
He hadn’t fought when she dragged him through the crowd, or when she plucked the keys from his pocket. He didn’t even seem to consider the fact that it was his car, that she wasn’t on the insurance, that he was probably perfectly capable of driving.
He was in a strange haze, but nodded compliantly. He released her hand before he pulled open the car door and slid in. He buckled out of muscle memory, and propped his elbow up against the door. He rested his chin in the palm of his hand and glanced out of the window with half lidded eyes.
They hadn’t established dinner plans, it was just assumed that they were going on. They’d agreed on that much—that they could go out somewhere nice, just them, and try to enjoy some good food.
He wasn’t hungry now, and didn’t have a taste for anything, but his mind was in a track he couldn’t seem to snap out of. He was being particularly avoidant after the comments his parents had made, as if he ignored it, perhaps he could pretend they’d never said anything at all.
“…We should do Italian,” he said into the silence, eyes unfocused and locked onto nothing in particularly. “That place by the little gallery, the one you like.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:03 pm
Italian. Their Italian place. For a moment she almost smiled, the memories of all of their dates there coming flooding back. All of the reassurances he gave her, all of the times he lifted her out of her darkness.
Gale kept her eyes on the road and drove to the restaurant, keeping quiet for the trip, and thankful that it wasn’t so very far away. She gave a soft sigh when they were parked and unbuckled her seatbelt, reaching over and taking Laurence’s hand, kissing his palm lightly. “I’m sorry about that, Laurence. That was utterly uncalled for and…I wish we hadn’t gone.”
Her voice was soft, unhappy. “I love you.”
It was the first time she had spoken those words to him, and though she thought it might be bad timing…she couldn’t quite…stop them from burbling out. He needed to know that someone loved him. His brother was gone. His parents were…utterly insensitive assholes…and…
And it felt like she was all that he really had. “I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. If you want…I can stay with you at your place tonight. Maybe you and I can work on finding Tobias. You know…” Gale let out a sigh, frustration evident. “It’s not fair what your parents are doing. You deserve so much better, Laurence...they don’t appreciate the things you do at all, and that makes me so mad.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:03 pm
Perhaps they were things that Laurence needed to hear, but they were things he didn’t want to hear. He didn’t want to be reminded that he was never going to be good enough, didn’t want to be reminded that the moment Tobias was involved he meant nothing to his parents.
But Gale said she loved him, and as soon as she said the words he gripped her hand just a little tighter. He didn’t look at her; his gaze stayed out the window, partially because he couldn’t find the will to move and partially because he didn’t want her to see the pain on his face.
He loved her, too. He’d loved her for a while, now, and he thought it every time he saw her smile, every time he heard her laugh, every time she was out of sight…
He drew in a shaky breath and looked at her, an imitation of a smile plastered on his face.
“I love you, too,” he said, completely honest, but battling the weight of everything else.
He held her hand tighter and then drew it to his lips, kissing the back of it. “…They’re just worried about Tobias. We can’t blame them. Everything they knew, their entire life, has been uprooted. Of course they’re going to be focused on him. He’s their baby. They’ve coddled and doted on him his whole life, and we don’t know where he is right now. It’s only natural to be afraid. I don’t think anyone’s in their right mind, not really. But.”
He swallowed. “I have you to ground me. And you have been such an amazing support, Gale. I don’t know what I would do without you. I owe you more than just words of thanks, but I…”
He didn’t have time to make her anything, he couldn’t think clear enough to speak or give any kind gestures. All he could do was close his eyes and, holding her hand, rest his head against it.
“…I love you, Gale,” he said again, out loud. He’d said it a hundred times, a thousand, in his head, but hearing it out loud…
And she’d said it first. He just hoped she said it and meant it; he didn’t want the declaration to be born of pity or sympathy.
He loved her truly, and genuinely. And he would have, with or without Tobias’ disappearance.
…He loved her, and he lied to her. It was a thin line to walk, but there was only so much he could say. She wouldn’t understand. Even now, he didn’t understand. Maybe he should have just purified with Tobias and avoided all of this, but then—it would just be the same thing, only he wouldn’t be the shadow in the background. He’d just be the shadow his parents forgot to look for.
“…Could you stay the night? …I haven’t been sleeping very well.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:04 pm
A flush crept up her neck and into her cheeks as his words registered. He said he loved her too, kissed her hand. For a long moment, she couldn’t breathe. She was speechless and wasn’t quite sure what to do or to think or to say, and then she nodded, leaning across the console and placing a kiss on his temple. “Laurence, I’ll stay with you forever, if you want me there. Hearing you say you love me…makes me happier than I can even say and…I know that this is honestly, terrible timing…and I feel like an a**…but…”
She bit her lip, unable to stop the smile that crossed her face. “I love you. With all of my heart.”
It felt so wrong to be feeling so…utterly elated when he looked so utterly defeated…and she hoped he wouldn’t resent her for throwing things in his face like this but…
“Laurence. I just want you to know that I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere. I love you, and we can figure things out. You are an amazing, smart, talented…” The stupid looking smile that often appeared when she was doing anything Laurence related flickered onto her face and she sighed happily. “You’re just…the most amazing guy I’ve ever met, you’re so patient and so understanding and you just make me feel like I’m worth the world…and I want to make you feel that way too. You came to me…in honestly one of the darkest points of my life…and you helped me through it. I was…I was honestly ready to give up…and you came like a whirlwind and turned absolutely everything around…”
Her fingertips stroked his cheek and her eyes softened. “You’re my hero. And I would be utterly lost without you. You’ve given me a brand new normal, and I will love you until the day I die.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:04 pm
“No,” he said softly, eyes closing again. “…This is very good timing.”
A smile even managed it’s way onto his face, faint and short lived as it was. But it was there, and it was real, and in that brief moment he’d been able to be happy in a way he’d been deprived for so long.
He exhaled, perhaps a bit more relaxed, a bit more relieved.
He allowed himself to enjoy the moment, but only that. The voice in the back of his head reminded him that he, too, could lose her. Could lose everything.
Either stay with the Negaverse and risk that fate Tobias warned him about, or lose Gale.
His heart couldn’t really handle the debate right now, so he just held her hand tighter and committed to being happy to have her, even if it was just for now.
He didn’t know how she’d react when he told her, or if there was any way she might understand, but…
He couldn’t imagine Gale in the Negaverse. Even Cavansite had mentioned that her sister likely wouldn’t have made it in there, and he figured that if Gale was ever recruited, he’d have been among the first to know.
Laurence just kissed her hand again, softer than before. “You say such kind things. They mean so much to me, right now. You’ve become so important to my life. I truly don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t look forward to you being in it. I know…I’m not doing so well right now. I’m just. It’s a lot, at once. I’m just worried about Tobias, about my parents, about trying to balance everything. Thank you, for being so patient with me. You’ve always been so supportive.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:05 pm
She relaxed with his words and her smile was genuine, nodding. “Thank you.” Goosebumps spread up her arm at the kiss and Gale gave a small laugh. Moments like this…made life worth living. And so often now…she was happy to be living.
“Come on, Laurence. How about you and me go in there, and drown our sorrows in the best tomato sauce I’ve ever eaten. It’s my treat tonight, and I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking that I can see cannoli’s in our future.”
Carefully, Gale removed her hand from his, though took a moment to caress his cheek. “We have forever, Laurence. And tonight, we can deal with everything that’s going wrong...” With a small sigh, she pulled her hand away from him and opened the car door, enjoying the feel of the warm night air against her face as a breeze blew. “Let’s eat, Laurence. Let’s eat and take a break from the rest of the world for a little while. I know it’s difficult…if not impossible…but…”
She turned to him, and her smile was sad. “…This is where we come when there’s trouble, this is our haven…so let’s go and enjoy it, okay?”
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:05 pm
He tried to smile again, and he managed at least something that resembled one. But there were shadows under his eyes, and his brows remained knit. His smile was forced and trembled, tired, but he was exhausted.
“Let’s come here when we’re happy, too,” he said, taking her hand once more. “Maybe we’ll come here when we’re sad, but we’ll make happy memories, at least.”
He needed a reason to look forward to something—be it tomato sauce, or cannoli, or her smile. He closed his eyes, inhaled, and relaxed, even if just slightly.
“I love you, Gale. I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. Thank you for being here for me.”
He tugged her closer, kissed her on the cheek, and just held her for a long moment, relaxing against her warmth, her reassurance.
“…I want to tell you I love you, a thousand times tonight. I’m so sorry. I love being able to say it out loud.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:05 pm
Gale lingered in his arms, inhaling his scent and enjoying every moment of his warmth. She lived for this closeness and every second she spent with Laurence was complete and utter bliss. “We’ll come here when we’re happy too. And we have…but…you know what I meant…right?”
Laughing softly she playfully punched his arm. “I love you too. I love you more than I thought it would be possible to love someone, and I’m so happy to hear it…it’s like a warm blanket wrapping around me, and I just…you make me feel…mushy inside. Like mashed potatoes.”
She pulled away from the embrace finally, taking both of his hands in hers and tugging him towards the entrance. “Come on, love. It’s time to eat. And please, understand that if you don’t tell me that you love me a thousand times…I’m quite sure that each time I’ve tried to count to a thousand, I’ve gotten bored around fifty or so, so there’s no worry about me being upset.”
Gale made a stupid face and laughed, holding the door to the restaurant open.
Their troubles would be waiting when they got out…but she hoped they would stay by the car. She wanted Laurence to enjoy dinner. She wanted him to smile, more than anything else in the world.
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