A brightly-colored cub made his way to the top of a small rise, dejection making him slump in the shade of a rather scraggly tree. Shadows were lengthening across the landscape, and his parents would be expecting him back at the den before too long - he just needed a few minutes to himself after today's lessons.
Flinging himself down in a heap, his chest heaved with agitation. He'd been chosen before he could even remember, hand-selected by the alu'nadi to be his clan's future nvwati...and while he trusted her judgement implicitly in most things (as the very young are inclined to do), he wasn't sure he was the best choice - or even if he was capable of being what the clan needed.
Lessons...had not been going well. The little cub knew he wasn't stupid, so why he seemed to mess up so often surprised even him.
Even worse was that no one seemed to want to admit just how badly he was doing. Instead, he could see the polite expressions quickly masking their surprise and disappointment that he'd mixed up the properties of two plants again, or blanked completely when put on the spot.
He'd heard whispers, and caught the occasional side-eyed glance from some members of the clan, but no one said anything to his face. He was floundering, even feeling like a fraud, but even as young as he was, he knew that if he failed, it would reflect badly on the alu'nadi, Samira...who was one of the few who seemed to believe he would be a good nvwati...some day. It made him reluctant to admit how much he doubted himself, and her faith in him.
Woha'li was heading back toward where the rest of her clan had spent the last few days, large paws striding silently through the familiar landscape. She was pleasantly tired, returning from a successful day's hunting.
Ears pricking, she heard...labored, upset breathing, and immediately changed course to see who (or what) was making the sound. Emerging from behind a bush, she caught sight of the orange cub, his bright pelt standing out against the dull landscape. He seemed lost in his own thoughts, visibly upset, and it tugged at the lioness' heartstrings.
Looking closely, she blinked, recognition dawning. Wasn't this the cub who the alu'nadi had chosen to be their future nvwati? It was a post that had sat empty for so long that the announcement had caused some uproar, when it had been made - all the more so, at least among some of the more traditional members, because he was born of two rogue-born clan members.
Having been raised in the care of a rogueborn lioness after her birth mother's death, Woha'li thought that particular concern was ridiculous - but she hoped that the cub would be able to not just learn the skills the job would require, but that he would have the presence required to help lead the clan forward, along with the alu'nadi herself.
Deciding that she should make herself known before the cub noticed her, and potentially felt embarrassed to have been so distracted by his own upset, Woha'li scuffed a paw, deliberately through the dirt, and inclined her head in greeting. "Good evening," she said simply.
Achak jerked in surprise, so deep in his own thoughts that he hadn't even heard the adult lioness' approach. Turning his head sharply, he thought he recognized her, vaguely, from the clan, but he had never met her personally. She was darker than most of the other lions he'd seen; all shades of charcoal and grey.
Hastily trying to compose his espression (and likely failing utterly), he attempted a quavery smile. "H-hello," he replied, cringing slightly at the way his voice wobbled, trying desperately to appear normal. With noticeable effort, and forced cheerfulness, he pressed on. "I don't think we've met. I'm Achak Dikanodi."
Compassion flooded through her, but she tried to keep her expression merely friendly - the fact that the cub was going to such lengths to pretend he wasn't upset reminded her of Binti, when she had been a lot less mellow - and the last thing that was usually desired, at that point, was the impression of pity.
Inclining her head at his greeting, Woha'li allowed herself a small smile. "I am Woha'li Galu'nadi," she began. "And the pleasure is mine. I had heard of you, but I imagine you're being kept pretty busy." She wasn't sure how much time was being devoted to his learning about being a nvwati, but she rather hoped it wasn't too much...there was a lot to learn, for certain, but she couldn't help but think that some of it might just come from being a normal cub.
Achak inhaled deeply, burying his insecurities deep, so deep that maybe he could forget about them...for a time. Her last name was familiar - wasn't Galu'nadi one of the families who had come here when the Ela'wadiyi had first arrived here, fleeing their old pridal lands? He couldn't be sure, as he felt like things had a bad habit of running together in his head...but he thought that he remembered that...
"It's not too much," he lied through his teeth. It wasn't even the amount of time that he devoted to learning it; his actual lessons were reasonable....he just spent a lot of his time outside of being instructed (both his more official lessons with Samira, and the "casual" information other pride members threw at him in passing) worrying about how much he was failing to remember, or how everyone must be wondering how he was ever going to be the nvwati that the clan needed.
"I'm just grateful for everyone for taking the time to help me learn it all." He just wished that they didn't have to devote so much time to correcting his mistakes...especially since it seemed to be getting worse, not better. The more he worried about it, and tried to remember, the worse he seemed to do when asked anything. Sometimes he even knew the right answer, he just could never recall it when faced with an expectant gaze.
Woha'li hummed softly in response. "Well, it's been many years since we had a nvwati of our own, so everyone is probably wanting to make sure they give you as much to work with as they can - after all, they have no one convenient to compare you to in the clan, so the path you forge will have to be entirely your own." She looked at him carefully, wondering if his upset was tied to this, or normal cub concerns. She wondered, if she hadn't caught him so off-guard, would she even have noticed his upset? He was remarkably composed, for one so young.
Achak looked at her for a moment, not sure whether her comment made him feel less up to the task, or eased his mind a bit. On the one hand, it might mean that not everything he was being told was necessarily as important as he had thought it was...but how was he supposed to know?
"I just hope to not disappoint," he said, attempting a small grin that downplayed just how much he worried about doing just that. "So that everyone's efforts aren't wasted." His shoulders dropped the tiniest fraction of an inch, as if weighed down by his own interpretation of just what was expected of him.
Woha'li watched him, a niggling sense of concern at his words. Carefully, she considered her next words before speaking. "No one is perfect, so you'll make mistakes as you go," and, while she didn't say it, he would have some who would be expecting, and using those perceived failures as an excuse to criticize the alu'nadi's choice - no matter who it had been, that was inevitable. "As long as you learn from them, and do your best, that's all anyone can ask of you."
"I think the only way their efforts would be wasted is if you just didn't try." Even as she spoke the words, she could see the rejection of them on his face. Personal experience had her suspecting that nothing she said to him was going to change his mind today - but maybe, if he was feeling particularly overwhelmed (this assumed that she was reading his rather subtle body language correctly, after all!), he'd consider them later.
After all, expecting perfection accomplished nothing, except to be perpetually disappointed in oneself.
Stiffening slightly, his expression shifted slightly. Was she just trying to make him feel better? Maybe she'd heard something, and felt sorry for him. On the more positive side, it was kind of her to try to do so, he reminded himself. So, he contented himself with an ambiguous, hopefully agreeable grunt, and a slightly stiff nod.
Smiling again, Woha'li barely restrained a sigh. She made a mental note to keep an eye on the young nvwati-to-be, but for now...she'd said enough. Especially since she was, for the most part, guessing at what had brought him out here on his own in the first place. "I should probably be getting back to the rest of the clan -I was out all day, and I'm not as young as I used to be." She said this with a self-depreciating smile, inviting a little humor at her own expense.
She made no attempt at convincing him to do the same - he was close enough to not be in any danger, if he wanted some extra time with his own thoughts.
Smiling a little more easily at the obvious attempt at breaking the tension, Achak inclined his head. "It was nice to meet you, Woha'li." He was only a little surprised to find it was true. "I think I'll stay out here a little longer, but I hope you rest well this evening."
He was surprised to find he might even relax for a few of those minutes - his talk with the elder lioness had given him a few new worries to join the many that floated around in his chaotic brain, but there had also been a curious lack of pressure, and expectation. As she turned and padded off into the deepening shadows, he leaned heavily against the tree trunk beside him, staring at the pinks and purples of the sunset in silence, barely paying attention to it, until evening bled into night.
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