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 Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:05 pm
Evan didn’t know how long he’d been alone in Tobias’ house before he woke up again, but Maxim was wriggling on the bed and groaning dramatically. When he noticed Evan stirring, he pretended like he had no idea that Evan was rousing because of his overzealous antics and he jumped to lick at his face.
There wasn’t any chance of getting back to bed after that.
Evan took him outside and meandered around the house for nearly fifteen minutes before the silence got to him. He wound up sitting on the couch, fumbling with his phone for another ten before he finally managed to compose a text message that didn’t sound completely pathetic.
He invited Cambria over with a simple, ‘Zac and Tobias went out to run errands. Tobias says you can come over. We can talk if you want.’
Everything after then had been sort of a blur. He had enough energy to change out of his pajamas, but he left the front door unlocked and made himself comfortable on the couch. It smelled like Zac’s cologne—something that initially irritated him, but that he quickly realized was actually a source of comfort. He wound up tucking himself in on the couch, with Maxim curled up on his chest. The dog was already fairly large but Evan didn’t mind the weight, or the way Maxim seemed ready to lick his face whenever he seemed like he was thinking too deeply.
His eyes still felt puffy, either from his odd sleep schedule or because he’d cried so much the day before. His hair was a mess and his pajamas were wrinkly, but he just didn’t care. Admittedly, he was more distracted by trying to figure out what he would say to Cambria when she inevitably showed up.
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:07 pm
Cambria hadn’t liked waking up without Zac there. Especially when she knew where he had gone thanks to his note…but she had been quite relieved with his text in the morning assuring that all was well, even though it could have been a trick from Tobias…though she hadn’t wanted to think about that either.
No, it was better to just try and focus on other matters and not worry about her best friend and boyfriend getting corrupted in the night…that wouldn’t do anyone any good.
The text from Evan had come just in time, as Cambria was already planning on going over and had just been pulling on her shoes. The invitation made her breathe a sigh of relief though, and the quick text that she sent back confirming that she was going over there was done quite hastily.
When she arrived at the house she knocked twice before going inside and looking around, her eyes landing on Evan and Maxim after a sweep across the room. “Hey! You’re okay?”
…There was no way that Maxim would still be cuddling so close if Evan had been corrupted, right? Dogs could tell things like that…and he clearly would…be treating Evan like a stranger…wouldn’t he?
She swallowed and made her way closer, holding out a bottle of Dr. Pepper for the boy. “I brought this for you, I thought you might be thirsty…I…” Cambria tried to stop her voice from rising in pitch, and thought she was doing at least an okay job at it, though she found that her hands were shaking.
“…I’m so glad you texted me…I was getting worried…”
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:09 pm
The time between when he’d sent the text and when she arrived had passed strangely, both feeling like an instant and an eternity. He heard the knock but didn’t immediately know who it was; it could have been a neighbor or the mailman, or a robber…
He heard the door open and was holding his breath while he listened—and then her voice.
He was breathing a sigh of relief even before his mind caught up with his emotions. She wasn’t someone who didn’t belong there, wasn’t a threat, so he could relax.
…Even if he was somewhat dreading this conversation.
He didn’t sit up, but accepted the bottle of Dr. Pepper. Maxim, excited to see her, stood up and wagged his tail so violently he almost lost his balance and fell off the couch. He was trying to frantically lick her and acted as desperate as if they’d been parted for weeks.
Evan couldn’t look her in the eyes; he mumbled a faint word of thanks. Maxim had shifted positions so he wasn’t crushing Evan right now, but it didn’t make Evan feel any less suffocated. His heart rate accelerated and his tension was rising but he tried to force himself to be calm.
“Sorry about that. I meant to text earlier. I didn’t want to keep you in the dark or anything,” he mumbled. “…I was just really upset. And then everything sort of happened all at once and kept building. I sort of didn’t want to talk to anyone until I could sort it all out in my head. But I’m sorry for worrying you. And for snapping.”
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:11 pm
Cambria couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face at Maxim’s antics and reaching over, she pet the dog on the head, making soft shushing noises at him, before sitting at the other end of the couch, curling her knees up and resting her chin atop them, watching Evan with worried eyes.
“I’m not mad or anything, you don’t need to apologize, I’m the one who needs to do that and I know it…I had no idea that this would snowball so badly, and my mind is still reeling from everything, and I’m sure you’re more overwhelmed than you want to even think about…but…what we have to remember is that we’re a family, Ev…and sometimes fights happen…so long as you want to keep a good relationship with your family…you’ll find a way too.”
She grew quiet and shook her head. “I’m not talking about your other family, I’m only speaking for Zac and myself…” Cambria swallowed. “And…Tobias, I guess…if he’s going to purify…I suppose he’ll be joining our family…” There was a slight edge to her voice, and she sounded suddenly tired. “…Guess you and I are just both attracted to chaos, huh? Think there’s therapy for that?”
Cambria scooted a little closer and held her hand out, hoping that Evan would take it.
“I bet…it felt like a blow to the head when he told you…I…I know the feeling. But…at the same time you’re kicking yourself because you should have been smarter. You should have known. You’ve loved this person and knew so much about them…but you hadn’t figured this out?” She shook her head, looking away. “It made me feel like a joke. And a bad joke, at that.”
What was she doing? She shouldn’t be talking so much. This wasn’t about her. It was about Evan…but…
She had experience with this at least…
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:13 pm
Evan nodded quietly and finally reached out to take her hand. “My life feels like it’s falling apart a lot. Things felt like they were all coming together and then everything just sort of crumbled. I mean, nothing’s broken, but it just felt like I was falling and everything I touched shattered. I haven’t talked to Zac yet. But I know he came over last night, to be there for Tobias. And I appreciate that.”
He swallowed, finding his throat felt sore and his mouth dry. He awkwardly opened the soda with one hand and took a long swig before he sighed and continued.
“You aren’t stupid, Cambria. Some people are just good at lying, and keeping secrets. And I guess they all have their reasoning. I don’t want to be mad at you. I still am, a little, but I’m too tired to be really upset. I just felt really upset that I found out from a Negaverse agent. And you guys had the answers the whole time. I would have been upset with the truth. But I wouldn’t have been upset with you, if you told me. Zac’s the dumb one here. Why would he even hide something like that, Cambria? For so long, I mean. I just don’t get it. Does he not trust me, or—or what? What did I do wrong?”
His voice trembled just slightly and he wasn’t looking at her—but he wasn’t crying. It was a good enough start.
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:17 pm
Cambria was quiet. She had thought a lot about things last night, and even though she wanted to say everything...she couldn’t quite find all of the words.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Evan. If anything, Zac was just so...happy to have this second chance with you to make things right in all things...that he thought he would lose it if he told you. I don’t know. This is all me just overthinking...but that’s why I think he never wanted to tell you. And I swear, I did ask him about it all the time. I had wanted to tell you when you started going out again. When we knew you were healing okay...I understood not telling you at first...you wouldn’t have been...I mean. I don’t know.”
She was talking in circles and felt so drained suddenly.
“...He was just so happy with you liking him again, and not being afraid of him like you used to be...I think he was scared to see you looking at him with fear in your eyes again…”
That made sense...didn’t it? Kind of…
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:18 pm
Evan contemplated her words for a long moment before he finally managed to nod. “I get it,” he mumbled, just seeming to deflate. “…When you say it like that, I get it. I was just so mad, though. I wouldn’t be scared of him. I mean, it’s not like before. I get it. He made mistakes. He’s good at that, even if he likes to pretend like he doesn’t ever make mistakes. But. We went through all of that together. The whole Negaverse thing. I thought. I mean, I remember things,” he said quietly.
“…I remember Sanidine looking after me. Letting me stay with him. I remember how he’d go out of his way to try and make sure I was okay. He always had blankets. I was in his office a lot. He’d sleep in there sometimes, with me. It was scary. It sucked. But I never blamed him. I blamed Cavansite.”
His voice trembled from her name alone.
“How could I be mad at Zac when I know how much he gave up to make sure I was okay? How could I be mad when—when he purified? When he went through all of that, when he was dealing with making sure I was okay even knowing what could happen if he did that? He’s just so stupid.”
His nose was runny suddenly and he sniffled. “…And I love you guys so much, and it just made me really upset to find out from a Negaverse agent.”
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:19 pm
“He really is stupid, Ev…and so am I.” Cambria finally threw caution to the winds and moved closer to Evan, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close. “I know that he’s sorry. And I know that I’m sorry.” She relished having him in her arms again and held him as though she would never let him go.
“We should have told you. I should have told you. I failed you with this, and I’m so very sorry.”
She was hopeful now though. Hopeful that he would forgive her and that things would be able to start going back to normal, or at least back towards whatever normal might end up being. So many things were changing…it was hard to tell just what normal was going to be.
Cambria reached a hand up, threading her fingers in Evan’s hair and sighing softly. “So…we’re going to be okay…right? If not…I understand…if you still need time…I understand that too. I just…I love you too, Evan. You’re…I’d pick you over Zac every time…”
She was sure that Zac felt the same. Evan needed them. And Cambria was sure that Zac could fend for himself if he had to…but Evan…needed them.
“…Love you, Ev. To the moon and back.”
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:23 pm
Evan didn’t pull away when Cambria embraced him; never mind that he didn’t have the energy to tense or pull away, it was comforting to have her close, to have her holding him.
“Of course we’re going to be okay, Cambria,” he said, nuzzling closer. “I couldn’t stay mad at you. I couldn’t. I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. Especially if Tobias is going to purify. I don’t—I mean, I know what to expect, but it’s all still so overwhelming. I still don’t know what to do. And...”
He drew in a shaky breath. “I’m really scared that I’m going to lose him. You know I don’t have the best luck with anything. And we’re going to try so hard, and I promised him that I believed in him and I knew he was going to stay him for it all, but the truth is that I’m scared, Cambria. And he proposed to me and I didn’t know what to say so I said yes. I mean, I love him, but I’m not ready to get married. But I was so afraid that if I didn’t say yes, our bond wasn’t going to be strong enough and I’d mess things up and then he’d forget me for sure. He and Zac are going to pick out a ring.”
His voice trembled, but he tried to sound strong—tried to sound like he was happy about it.
He was happy. Or, he would have been, if he wasn’t already just overwhelmed with all the other emotions he was dealing with. He wanted to be happy.
…He just didn’t imagine any proposal would be mired in the middle of all this trouble.
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:24 pm
“He…oh.” Cambria wasn’t sure how to take in this new bit of information. Evan was…engaged? Before she was? For a moment she wasn’t sure what to say, but finally she nodded. “I’m sure he’ll remember. Zac remembered us after all…and we can help him. We can write down things. Big things. Memories. Experiences. Even if…even if he forgets…we can help him remember. And Evan, there’s no way he’ll forget you. You’re his soulmate.”
The words left her lips before she could stop them, but she was sure she was right regardless.
“We’ll be here for the both of you. If Zac is investing so much time in Tobias…there’s no way he’ll just give up after he’s been purified…we’ll get through this Evan. It’s just another bump in the road…and I know there’s been a lot of them…but hopefully…this is the last of them. And then it’ll just be smooth sailing and we’ll live happily ever after.”
She grinned softly and sighed. “We just have to keep going. We can’t let these things swamp us…and I think you’re doing so good, Evan. You’re so brave right now, and I’m so proud of you.”
…Perhaps a conversation with Zac would have to happen though…
…She wanted to be engaged too.
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:26 pm
Evan drew in a shaky breath and shrugged uncertainty. “I don’t know, about any of this,” he said. “I don’t feel very brave, or like I’ve done anything to be proud of. Especially after my outburst last night. I mean, I appreciate what you’re saying, it means a lot to me. I just don’t know if I am feeling very good about any of it right now.”
He closed his eyes and leaned closer to her. “I just don’t want to think about him being gone. If he forgets me, I just. He’s so much of my life. He’s so important to me. And if he forgets me, I’ll do everything I can to help him remember, to make sure he knows that he’s loved and to let him know that he’s going to be okay and in good hands. If he trusts me, at least.”
With a heavy sigh, he reached up to rub at his teary eyes. “I’m just not ready for this. I wish we had more time. I don’t. I don’t know. I can’t even talk about this with him because I don’t want him to worry.”
He sniffled and then just shook his head. “I’m so tired, Cambria. I’m sure Zac is going to propose to you. I know he loves you. I’m sorry Tobias popped the question first. I’m sure he just did it because. Because he’s afraid, too.”
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:27 pm
Cambria was thoughtful for a moment, and then she sat up, blinking. “Evan! We just have to make sure he remembers you. Make memories with both sides of him. Then at least...if you kiss him as his Negaverse...then he’ll remember kissing you, and if he remembers that...well then he’ll always have memories of you!”
It sounded like such a perfect plan, and she honestly couldn’t figure out why nobody had thought of it before though...she could see why Evan might be opposed to it. Tobias being with the Negaverse was something he didn’t want to think about. Didn’t want to really deal with...none of them did...they wanted it to be gone...and it would be soon enough but…
“I know it might sound awful...being that close to an agent...but I’ll be there. I can be there standing guard...I can be there making sure nothing bad happens...heck. We could do it up on Lysithea if you wanted. That way we would know that you were safe. He couldn't take you anywhere even if he wanted to...and…”
She swallowed, snuggling against Evan again. “...And he would remember you. Remember loving you. Remember you loving him...”
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:30 pm
The plan processed slowly on his face, and then found himself nodding. Being next to a Negaverse agent was one thing, but Tobias wasn’t going to be a Negaverse Agent for long. He tried to tell himself that the Chaos inside all Negaverse Agents could be temporarily controlled, if Tobias wanted to. He tried to tell himself that Andalusite liked Malus, and Tobias liked Evan, and if he purified out of the Negaverse, some memories would have to be strong enough to remain.
He’d have to keep something that wouldn’t make him think they were strangers.
“Maybe he might like Lysithea. It’s beautiful. And calming. We could make powered memories up there. And I could power down so he remembered that I’m the same person.”
He sighed heavily and his brows knit. “Or I could just tell him to get a tattoo with my face so when he purifies he knows that I’m not lying about things.”
He was only half teasing and reached up to rub at his eyes. It was clear that he was stressed, but he was trying so hard to keep everything bottled. Small steps.
“I’m not ready for this,” he confessed quietly. “It’s a good plan, but I know the next few days are going to be just crazy. I wish I was as strong as you. I don’t know if I have it in me.”
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:31 pm
“Of course he’ll like Lysithea. Everyone likes Lysithea. It’s beautiful. It’s home.” It wasn’t Tobais’ home of course...but it would be a refuge for him...it could be a refuge for him later on when he was a knight. She would give the two boys whatever safe haven that she could.
“There’s a lot less risk talking up there too, nobody can find him...or at least I’m pretty sure that’s how it works...I…”
She hesitated, then shrugged. “I’m not sure if Cosmos could come there...but that might be the ideal place to hold his purification...not that I think it’s going to be a trap but...he’ll be more comfortable where nobody can find him. I know I would be...nobody could drag him back...we won’t lose him up there…”
Cambria fluffed Evan’s hair almost absent mindedly, thinking more on how to best get things done rather than worrying about the things that might happen…
“You might not be ready, Evan...but I am. I’ll make sure it all goes smoothly...this isn’t my first rodeo...and I think this situation is a lot better than the last...at least I’m only juggling the one purification...and nobody’s hurt...and you’re safe.” She looked at him then, swallowing hard. “Last time that was the worst part of everything. Leaving you alone when all I wanted was to keep you in my arms forever...I hated it.”
No, this time would be different. They were prepared...there would be no more surprises.
...at least she hoped not.
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:32 pm
Evan didn’t quite disagree with Cambria, but he didn’t seem entirely convinced that purifying on some faraway world was going to be a good idea. He rolled the thought over in his mind and reached up tiredly to rub at his eyes.
“I’ll talk to him. Maybe sometime he’d like to go to my homeworld. I haven’t really been in a while.”
He hadn’t had time, or confidence. Now, he had the strangest sensation that maybe he wouldn’t mind just dipping up there and hiding away for a bit.
Only, he couldn’t. He felt like he was trapped between a rock and a hard place He had to be here for Tobias. He needed to be stable, he needed to do everything he could to make sure this went well for Tobias.
He could feel his stomach churning, he could feel sickness swelling. He shoved it down, tried to hide it. Tried to smile.
“It’ll get better,” he said after a moment, trying to convince himself of it. “Everyone’s just got a lot going on right now. I don’t want him to feel like we’re trapping him on Lysithea. I mean, probably not that he would. I’m just paranoid.”
His breath was a little shaky but he closed his eyes just softly to try and relax.
He was stressed and didn’t know what to do. There wasn’t anything healthy that came to mind, but he found himself plucking at the long sleeved shirt he wore.
“But it’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. Whatever happens, we’ll be okay.”
Eventually.
If he said the words enough, he was bound to believe them.
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