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 Posted: Thu May 31, 2018 8:02 pm
It had taken a few hours for Evan to finally fall asleep, and Tobias was glad that he was even able to, and glad that he had wanted him there to stroke his hair as though nothing was different.
When he was sure the younger male was sleeping, Tobias slipped into the living room and pulled out his phone. He hesitated for a long moment, then began writing text message after text message, and finally after another twenty or so minutes gave up and just hit the button that would call Zac’s phone.
He had said to reach out if he needed help. Or if he wanted help…and he did. He needed to figure out how to purify, and Zac seemed like he knew what he was talking about with…well.
With everything so.
So he would use the offer and become a better person for Evan.
Quietly he sat in one of the chairs in the living room, the phone cradled against his shoulder as he waited for Zac to answer, already thinking of what excuses he could give for calling so late…and for taking so long to do so.
…But, Zac hadn’t come breaking down the door yet, so he must not be too late to fix things. Or…at least he hoped that he wasn’t.
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2018 9:09 pm
Truthfully, Zac hadn’t expected to sleep tonight. His own nerves and concerns prevented him from drifting into any deep, meaningful rest but he had been lying down with his eyes closed. The moment his phone rang, he was wide awake. He grappled for it in the darkness, both out of concern and an effort to keep it from waking Cambria.
She was more exhausted and drained than he was, and if he could give her some time to rest, he would.
He had hoped it would be Evan’s name popping up, but he didn’t hesitate to answer the call even when he knew it was Tobias on the other end.
He swiped the phone to answer but didn’t speak until he was out of the bedroom; he closed the door behind him and, two steps towards the living room, finally said, “Hey. Everything okay?”
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2018 8:09 am
Tobias hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath until he heard Zac’s voice and he didn’t sound angry. Good. Very good.
“Yeah. Yeah Everything’s okay. Um. It’s Tobias, by the way just in case you didn’t…didn’t know. I…Evan told me about being a youma…I suppose that you knew that? And…” The words were coming out with no thought behind them. He just wanted to get everything out and it seemed like if he didn’t say everything on his mind right now…it would just stick there like fast drying cement.
“He’s a senshi? I…there was a youma and I dusted it and then I found Evan’s pen and he showed me that he’s Malus…my Malus. The guy who saved my life and…so I showed him who I was. I couldn’t lie to Evan…He got so scared, Zac. So damn scared. Of me.”
His voice broke, and for a moment he wasn’t sure what else to say.
“But…I guess…I need your help. He told me that I could…purify out? How? What do I have to do, Zac. How can you help me? How do I get out?”
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2018 4:16 pm
Zac’s brows narrowed as he listened; it wasn’t out of anger or agitation but he was genuinely surprised that Tobias knew so much.
Of course, leave it to Evan to just come clean about everything. ‘No secrets’, for sure.
He didn’t have time to wonder how much Evan had said, to wonder if he had screwed himself over by telling Tobias everything. There seemed to have been some equal exchange of information. Zac would have preferred that Evan kept his Senshi identity a secret, but…
Things didn’t seem like they were so bad right now.
If Tobias had been trying to gather information for the Negaverse, he was wasting his time asking Zac. This information, while probably not well known, was probably logged somewhere in the Negaverse resources. Of course, looking it up or asking around was probably a red flag by their standards, but it made Zac hopeful that Tobias was at least seriously considering it.
He reached up to rub his face as he made his way into the kitchen. A pot of coffee was ready to brew so he pressed the button to start it and leaned against the counter.
Evan had texted him earlier, just to say he was okay. It wasn’t anything more than a short ‘I’m going to bed, I’ll talk to you tomorrow,’ but it had been enough to reassure Zac that his friend was okay. Evan had sent a picture of Maxim stretched out and sleeping next to him, as if that was some secret code to prove that he was alive and well.
He knew Cambria had gotten a slightly longer message of slightly differing content, but it had expressed that he was all right, that he was too tired to talk, and that he hoped she was doing okay. She’d been sent a picture of the dog, too, in a far less flattering position.
He refrained from chastising Tobias, like he didn’t know who it was calling him. He’d had his number from the first time Evan went to hang out with him alone. A nagging voice in the back of his head whined about how overbearing Zac had always been.
But, change was hard. Especially when you cared so much.
He exhaled, trying to figure out where to start to answer Tobias’ questions.
“Evan texted me, and Cambria. He said he was okay. I’m going to guess he’s worn himself out now. He didn’t…you know, hurt himself or anything? Is he doing okay? I know he’s got the dog there with him, so…”
Tobias didn’t call to talk about Evan, but he couldn’t help but ask.
“…I knew he’d be upset when he found out about you. I mean, he’s head over heels for you. For some reason,” he muttered, but it seemed more out of habit than out of actual disdain. “I’m glad you came clean. If he’s still over there that means you’ve still got a chance to fix things. Leaving the Negaverse is…”
His eyes found the floor and he was half tempted to go pull out the old notes he’d written for himself.
“…It’s not that hard, not when you believe in what you’re doing. It’s not scary, not really. I mean, it’s liberating. Like you’ve been trapped inside watching it storm outside for weeks, and then one day the sun comes out and you’re free. There’s a weight that you live with while you work for them. Wondering when the day’s going to come that they tell you to do something you can’t do. Wondering if they’re going to kill you. Because I mean—they will. They don’t ******** care about you. They care about what you can do for them, and that’s it. You’re literally nothing. And—you said power. There’s two sides of that coin. You’ve got power. But it’s theirs. When you purify, it’s yours. You’ve got this whole—this whole world, of your own. That you protect. It gives you power. It’s yours.”
…And he still hadn’t been to his, so what the hell was he prattling on about, like he was some ******** actual Knight who had worked to get to where he was today.
God damn, he hoped this line wasn’t bugged.
“There’s a lady out there, some Senshi. Sounds stupid, but she can flush out the Chaos in your starseed. It hurts, not going to lie, but I’ve been hit harder and hurt more than that. It makes you tired, but it’s worth it. To know that your life is yours?”
…But there was a downside, and he debated on if he should actually tell Tobias. If he knew what he would lose, would it be too much? Would he cave? Would he give up?
Zac glanced at the slowly filling coffee pot.
“…You lose your identity, though. Your family won’t recognize you. Friends won’t recognize you. It’s a clean slate, something I figure that happens just to keep the Negaverse from finding you again and dragging you back. Or killing you. But either way, your life as ‘Tobias’ is going to be over. So you have to tie up all the loose ends, get all your affairs in order. Get ready to say goodbye. And…”
The hard part.
“…When you leave the Negaverse behind, you lose a part of yourself. Memories get jammed up, they don’t all make it through the process. There’s no telling what’s going to make it. From what I gather, you either lose most of the memories you had while you wer working for them, ********, don’t let him take it too badly.
“…Or everything else.”
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Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2018 8:22 pm
Tobias listened with mounting concern. “Of course he hasn’t tried to hurt himself…between Maxim and me, he’s...he’s not doing super great…but he’s okay. He got to sleep. Letting me stroke his hair and hold him so…so it didn’t go as badly as you had thought, or at least I don’t think it did.”
He went quiet after speaking and remained quiet for a very long time, long enough that he wondered if Zac would think that he had hung up on him…would he come over? Think he was changing his mind?
Finally he cleared his throat and managed a small laugh. “That’s…that’s a hell of a lot to process, Zac…I…but you sound like you have first hand experience…is there something you’d like to share with the class?”
He thought that he didn’t sound too choked up, but then again. He was glad this interview was happening over the phone instead of in person…he would be damned if he would ever let this a*****e see that there were tears in his eyes at the thought of losing…
Losing Evan.
The thought that he could forget his brother…and after they had finally reached a point where they not only tolerated one another…but that they were friends again.
He wouldn’t be…Tobias anymore and for one brief moment he glanced towards the bedroom that Evan slept in.
…It wouldn’t be difficult to just…corrupt him instead…hadn’t he always wanted Malus to be on his side anyway? That did seem like the best idea…and he would get to stay himself but…
Oh god. What was he even thinking? Malus had said that he would rather die than be corrupted. But…he had made a vow that he would corrupt Malus the next chance that he got…and that chance was now.
Quietly, Tobias cleared his throat again, trying to snap his mind out of this way of thinking. “…it would be easier on me just to take Evan now and corrupt him though, that’s what my mind keeps telling me. I think…you might have been right about everything.”
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 6:20 am
Zac was quiet as he listened, but when Tobias spoke about corrupting Evan, he bristled. His hands were already reaching for the keys to the car when Tobias seemed to shy away from his own suggestion.
“I’ll kill you,” he warned—not a threat, a promise. “...But I know I’m right. You’re not even a General yet, are you? That’s when it’s the worst. The more power you get, the more of yourself you lose.”
Although, apparently he had simply worked himself half to death trying to fix Evan back then, so he had to hope he wasn’t too bad. His brother’s scars said otherwise, though.
“Evan won’t survive joining the Negaverse and you know it,” he said pointedly. “He’ll bite off his tongue before the Chaos can wash away his willpower. If you purify you can at least take solace in the fact that he’ll take care of you. It’s hard, but manageable. You can leave notes if you need to. Make a video recording or something, I don’t know. It sucks but it beats the alternative. You love him, and your family, yeah?”
He was quiet for a moment.
“So imagine being so ******** up that you almost kill your brother.”
He and Malcolm had never really been close before, and Zac has always been a bit of a bully, but he knew that was overboard. Even if he didn’t remember doing it, he saw the damage he’d done. He could imagine. His brother still flinched sometimes.
Zac’s jaw clenched and he reached for a mug as he cradled the phone between his cheek and shoulder.
“If you hold onto the memories that are most important to you, I’m sure those are the ones that stay with you. The ones engraved on your heart. And if you love Evan so much...”
His voice trailed off.
“I have theories, things you could try to do to keep the memories that are important to you. I’m pretty confident that you can control it. I mean. A stubborn guy like you doesn’t fail, does he? So you’re already at an advantage with that damn luck of yours, yeah?”
Zac didn’t know if any suggestions would help, but that didn’t matter. Tobias would either keep the important memories or he’d forget this conversation—either way, Zac was off the hook. All he cared about was saying what he needed to to get Tobias to make the swap. It was better than him trying to take Evan.
And anyway, whatever of Tobias was left after the Chaos was purged from him would be enough for Evan to work with.
Something was better than nothing, but...
Even if Zac thought he was a troublesome pain in the a**, he was still rooting for him to keep the same memories Zac had. They didn’t need the Negaverse memories.
He just needed Evan to be okay, and apparently that meant he needed Tobias to be, too.
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 6:54 am
Tobias scoffed softly and curled up on the chair, trying to draw his limbs in closer. “I’m not really in the mood for death, but I’ll keep it in mind. You...never answered my question though. Did you end up purifying or something? Is that why you know so much?” His thoughts still circled slowly around taking Evan down to Negaspace and corrupting him now. Even with the threat of death...and the thought of Evan...even the thought of Evan dying...still didn’t seem as bad as losing everything.
But he knew that right now his thoughts were a trap.
“I’m not a General, I’m a Captain and it’s not that long ago that I earned the promotion...just a few months now but...how do you stop these thoughts? I know that you’re right. I know Evan won’t corrupt willingly. He told me the last time that we met...when I ran into him as Malus and I had just...I mean.”
He gave a soft laugh. “Did you know that Malus saved me once? From a youma. That was the first time me and Evan met, I guess. And I’m not going to lie, I was crushing pretty hardcore on this crazy guy who had saved my life...and when I joined the Negaverse...i don’t know. I suppose I’ve wanted to corrupt him for a long while now…”
Tobias was picking at the skin around his nails, something that he never did. He didn’t have nervous habits, but he had never been in a situation that might result in his death...or in his forgetting everything about everyone he loved so...perhaps some nervous habits were expected.
“...Is it too much to ask for you to come over here, Zac? I don’t...trust myself right now, and I could just...use a friend. So, well. Maybe you’re not the best choice but.” He gave a weak laugh and pressed his head deeper into the back of the chair.
“If there’s ever a night that you’d have to kill me. I’m thinking it will be tonight.”
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 6:59 am
For a long moment, Zac didn’t answer. He didn’t have words to answer.
But it didn’t mean he hadn’t made up his mind. When Tobias had asked if he could come over, he was already moving. He pulled on a jacket he had resting over the back of a chair and snuck into the bedroom for long enough to grab a pair of pants. He slid them on halfheartedly and didn’t bother to zip them even.
He closed the bedroom door behind him quietly and returned to the kitchen.
Finally, as he reached for a thermos from the pantry, he spoke. “It’s late. I can probably be there in ten minutes. Unless you want me to stop somewhere and pick you up something. Does Evan need anything before I leave?”
He opened the thermos and began to pour the scalding coffee in carefully.
“If I tell you anything, you can’t repeat it. Not to anyone. Not even Evan, not yet.”
He drew in a slow breath and tried to sound like he was confident, like he was ready.
“…He’ll be pissed if he finds out I came over.” Probably. Maybe.
…Or, not. He’d be relieved to know that Tobias was making efforts to make this right. And, if Zac was over there…
God, this would have been such a smart ******** trap. But he had to have faith that Tobias was speaking earnestly, and he was going to take whatever stupid effort he needed to make sure that this went right.
He’d keep Tobias on the phone the whole time it took to get there if it meant making sure that he wasn’t going to march in there and corrupt Evan.
“He mentioned you a few times. Said he was worried about you. Back then, back when he saved you, that was when he was coming out of his worst, you know. He went out of his way to get rid of that youma and keep you safe without backup. You know?” he seemed contemplative and his voice was a little distant, like he was dredging through old memories. “For as long as I’ve known him, he’s hated being out at night. Hated being alone. Hated fights, hated being in the spotlight, hated trouble. This Senshi thing, it’s all wrong for him. The Negaverse? They’d just yomafy him again. He’d be a s**t agent, even with the brainwashing. But the Senshi thing he’s got going on? …He’s worked really hard to get to where he’s at. So if you’re having a hard time chasing those thoughts away, you think about that. You think about how hard he worked to get where he is, and you think of how hard he’ll work to get you to where you want to be. Because it’s pretty obvious that he loves you. I mean,” he exhaled.
The empty pot of coffee was returned to its stand and he sealed up the thermos. “I’ve known him for years. I’ve known his bad boyfriends, his bad choices. He’s quick to fall for someone, don’t get me wrong, but it was different with you. He wasn’t looking for someone when he met you. He didn’t want to fall for you. But he did. And that’s boy’s stubborn as hell, so you did something right.”
Zac didn’t know how much he wanted to tell Tobias; he just knew that he started talking and couldn’t stop. He had to shut himself up, he knew it; he needed to give him time to answer if he needed anything, if Evan needed anything, so he could get in the car and head over.
“…A General named Cavansite tried to pull out his starseed a while back. We had an arrangement that she’d leave him alone, and she broke it. So I made a bad decision. I thought if he was in the Negaverse, he’d be safe. I mean, Captains get to watch over lieutenants, right? …And he wouldn’t meet quota, but I thought I could do enough for the both of us. I’ve not been god to Evan, not as good as he deserves, but I wasn’t trying to hurt him. Not then. I had the best intentions.”
He was quiet for another spell and then, finally, mumbled, “But I was the one who youmafied him. I ******** up. I ******** him up. And I’ve spent my life since trying to make it up to him. And as soon as I got him out of the Negaverse, you’d better ******** believe I got out, too.”
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:01 am
Tobias listened to Zac’s words, tried to let them sink in. It was a lot. A lot to take in very quickly. “No, Zac. Me and Evan are okay...we don’t need anything.”
He wanted Zac over here though. He wanted to not be alone and to start to figure things out better. “I...I don’t think he’ll be pissed but...why do you say that I can’t talk about this with him? Doesn’t he know it all? I mean...he lived it.” Cavansite though...his brother’s General? She was the reason all of this happened to Evan?
Tobias swallowed, his eyes drifting to the closed door where Evan slept, and again that desire to bring him home threatened to take over.
“I wasn’t supposed to fall for him either. I’m...well, I guess I’m a bit of a jerk. I like being a jerk. I think it’s fun just toying with people’s emotions, I used to get off on making guys and girls fall for me then doing what I wanted with them and leaving them high and dry, and I suppose that was what my plan was for Evan at first…” He was sure he had spoken of this to Zac already but...but he had to say something.
Anything to keep his mind off of the things he wanted to think about.
“But damn, Zac. He’s just so...interesting. People are always so predictable. You do something and they always respond in the same way, but I really...never knew what Evan was going to do. When he says or does something, it’s always a surprise. And he’s just so strong...I couldn’t help but fall in love with him.” He was quiet for a moment. “You know, like really fall in love with him. Zac, I think I want to marry him. Zac…”
Tobias’ voice grew soft, and there was a quaver in it. “...What if I forget Evan?”
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:02 am
Zac locked the house door silently, but the slamming of a car door was visible on the phone. He was quiet as he listened to Tobias, and he was already halfway down the road before the younger man had finished speaking.
He wasn’t surprised to hear of Tobias’ plan; his own relationship with Evan had originally been something he wasn’t particularly proud of at the time. It had worked for them, then, but he regretted it.
…Not that he would admit that, not to Tobias. Not right now.
Something twisted in his stomach as Tobias talked about Evan—as he talked about loving him, marrying him…
Forgetting him.
“Do you think you could?” he asked, finally. “I didn’t. Not about him, or Cambria, or any of the things that really mattered. It was a risk I had to b prepared for. I couldn’t keep going down the road I was on. In high school, and even after then, I always had fun being in control. I was a bartender, I’ve been a bouncer, a bully. Just came with the turf. It was just who I was. Sometime between Captain and General, things started to slip. I mean, I’m not going to lie—I don’t remember it. I’ve pieced things together. There are some people that know about me, about who I was. Who I am.”
He wouldn’t name Cambria, just in case.
“Evan didn’t, though. That’s why he’s pissed at me. And I wasn’t there so he took it out on Cambria, like she’s my keeper or something. This whole time, he thought I was a Knight. Thought I lost my identity because the Negaverse figured out who I was and I had to be safe. I lied to him, yeah, but…Evan’s always a surprise. I should have trusted him more. I’ve just seen him through some of the worst parts of his life and I didn’t…”
He sighed. “…I didn’t want him to associate me with all that Negaverse s**t. With being a youma. It’s my fault, I know it, but. I just wanted him to be okay first. I was going to tell him. I just. Things have happened so fast, you know? And he was doing so well. I didn’t want to tip him back over the edge, and even right now. ********, I should have trusted him. I should have told him.”
He’d have forgive him. Zac knew Evan would forgive him.
He’d just been afraid.
Zac had to tear his thoughts back to the topic at hand. “I kept him though, my personal youma. Close to me. I didn’t take him to fight, but I know he got dusted a few times. I left notes. My friends told me. I don’t remember any of it, except hating myself.” But his notes were full of self loathing and regret. “But then, he got out. He was messed up for a while, but he was in good hands. But I was <******** up. I’ll have to get my brother, he can probably tell you more. I put him in the hospital and I had no control over it. Wasn’t me at all. I didn’t know it was him—but you never know, Tobias. You have no ******** idea who it is you’re beating the s**t out of out there, and with all that Chaos? You can’t think about it. You lose yourself. And the longer you’re in, the worse it gets. It’s a parasite.”
He didn’t regret not knowing the experience; he had his notes, he had Cambria’s words, her experiences. Evan’s.
He knew the Negaverse was s**t.
“Trust me when I say you will forget Evan if you stay with them. Only, worse, you’ll hurt him, too. If you ‘forget’ him now, while you’re saving yourself? You’ll forget the bad. You’ll forget your shitty intentions, you’ll forget wanting to use him, wanting to screw him over. And he’ll fill in everything for you. He’ll tell you how much he loves you, how much he likes spending time with you. How he can’t get over your generosity, how you make him feel brave enough to pursue his dreams. How he’s only got his food truck right now because of you. How he wants to be stronger, better so he can be the person he thinks you deserve. And I know all this because he tells me this s**t. Or I hear him talking to Cambria. His eyes light up when he talks about you. He gets this little smile, this thing I’d never seen before he met you. Like he really is happy, like he’s really not afraid. And this is a kid who was afraid of stepping outside after dark, a kid who still sleeps with a nightlight. And that look, on his face?”
He chuckled softly. “…I think he’d do anything to keep you safe. If you forgot the memories you did have, you’d make new memories. Like you wouldn’t fall in love with him again. And you know he’d take care of you, through all of it, and you’d be in damn good hands.”
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:03 am
“You can’t beat yourself up over it, Zac...He’ll forgive you. You’re his family. I’m going to go out on a limb and just assume that you’re honestly closer than his real family so…” Tobias was relieved to have heard the car door slam. Zac was on his way. It was comforting.
All of the things he was saying though, those weren't really comforting but..but he could handle it. He could handle anything that was thrown at him. He was Tobias. He was better than most average bears so.
Quietly he let out a sigh and stood, walking to unlock the door before shuffling back to the chair and curling back up in it once again. “Door’s unlocked when you get here, Zac. Tell me though. Just because I guess I still think I’m the top s**t but…”
He fell quiet, mulling the question over for a moment. “...If Evan weren’t involved in this, would you still be working to help me get out, or would you have just killed me? I guess...Are we going to end up friends from this, is what I'm really trying to ask. You seem a lot like me, and I’m pretty sure that’s why we butt heads but, you’re not bad. So...I wouldn’t mind if that’s how things went. You know, when I forget everything...if I’ve forgotten who you are, just lie to me and say that we’re super close buds, okay? I think that’ll do me good.”
Tobias had a slight grin on his face, trying to imagine being friends with Zac, but honestly the thought was just so...out there that he couldn't really get a good grasp on it.
“Guess you’ll be pissed if I marry Evan before you’ve proposed to Cambria, hm? Are you planning on popping the question any time soon? You two aren’t getting any younger, you know.” It was easier to fight off the urges when they spoke of other things. Easier to pretend that everything was okay, and that he didn’t want to drag down the person that he loved most in the world into the darkness of chaos.
...Though now he’d have the both of them to bring...and…
It would be so easy.
No. No now was not the time to think of it.
“...Maybe you and I could go ring shopping if you’d be interested. I can’t propose to Ev anytime soon but...I do plan on it. Maybe around Christmas I was thinking. It might be nice.”
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:04 am
Zac snorted at the suggestion to lie and say they were friends; briefly he humored the thought and tried to imagine just what sort of lies he could concoct about the whole thing. It would be one hell of a prank, but he didn’t have the brainpower to consider it all right now.
Maybe Tobias was right about Evan forgiving him. He was closer to him than his own family at this point.
But Tobias probably knew that.
“I’ll be honest,” he said after a moment, “If Evan weren’t involved, I don’t know what I’d do. But I guarantee I probably wouldn’t have found out who you were—what you were—if it weren’t for him. I don’t go out of my way to meddle these days so it’s hard to say. I know that I don’t have the patience or empathy that Evan does, and my solutions are usually a lot more to the point, so. I can probably say with certainty that I wouldn’t care as much about you if Evan didn’t care. But don’t think about s**t like that. Too many ‘ifs’ will make your head hurt.”
He kept his eyes on the road, one hand on the wheel and the other holding the phone to his face. There weren’t many people out and he’d hit every green light on the way here so he was making better time than he had expected.
“For example, ‘if’ you propose to Evan before I propose to Cambria, I expect to see a lot of s**t. But I’m not going to worry about it. You pop the question whenever it feels right. I’ve been waiting because she and I needed to make sure Evan was okay before we moved our relationship forward. If we hadn’t, he might have felt isolated, might have felt like he didn’t have anyone he could rely on without being a burden. Although, ‘if’ we had, maybe he would have moved forward with you. Maybe I would have been honest with him, come clean. Maybe he wouldn’t have gotten mad at me. Maybe he wouldn’t have found out about you, and the Negaverse. Maybe something would have happened down the road that ruined your relationship. Maybe he’d have gotten hurt. Maybe anything. So, it’s just not worth thinking about. Just do what feels right. And, if ring shopping feels right…”
He chuckled quietly. “…I’ve been meaning to pick one up for her. There’s one I like, I’ve had my eyes on it for a while. I’ll show you, you can give me your thoughts on it. You might find something for Evan there too. Better to buy it now—while you’ve still got all that money. Before you swap, you know you’re going to have to either spend what you’ve got or find some way to transfer it. Would be a shame to let all that money go to waste, so you need to figure out a plan for what you want to do with it.”
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 7:59 am
“She’ll make a beautiful bride, Zac, I’m sure you two will be really happy.” Tobias fell quiet after that, sleepy all of the sudden, though he preferred this to the other things he had been feeling. “I’ll have to think of a new name for myself I guess…that kind of sucks. I like being Tobias but…I guess I’ll talk to Evan about that…I…should talk to him about a lot of things in the morning, I suppose. There’s going to be a lot of talking before I uh. Do the deed.”
He didn’t dwell too much on the money, that wouldn’t be difficult. And he could always work something out with Laurie…
Tobias’ heart felt cold then and he sighed loudly, curling up into a smaller ball.
“It sucks that I’m going to lose my brother in all of this…He…we just had started fixing things…we were becoming friends again but…”
He couldn’t tell Zac about Laurie being in the Negaverse too but…perhaps he could talk things through with him and maybe they could even purify together. If they could both get out…wouldn’t that be the best thing? They could go on as brothers and…
And oh god, their parents would be so upset to lose both sons at once…Tobias knew that they were both loved…even though he was the favorite…
“I’ll…have to have some long talks with him, too. God this is such bullshit.” He sounded as though he had suddenly gotten a head cold, and roughly wiped away the traitorous tears that had formed in his eyes. “If I hadn’t been such a rash idiot I wouldn’t have to be dealing with any of this right now.”
But it wasn’t Zac’s fault.
Not really. Zac didn’t force him to power up. And…this was what was best for Evan but…god it sucked.
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2018 12:25 pm
Zac sighed heavily, but it was with understanding. “Not right now, no. But later? Yeah. And it would just be harder to deal with later. You could wind up losing so much more. I get that the whole thing sucks, but you’re a smart guy. You’ll find a way to make it work. And you’ll have Evan—and you’ll be able to really keep him safe.”
Because, after this, Zac supposed he was going to need a lot more support.
It wasn’t going to be like when he was first powering up into a Senshi, or when he’d first turned back into a human, but Zac could already predict how hard it would be for Evan to trust people again, if he didn’t know them powered. To know that just about anyone could be an enemy in disguise—and that neither of you could know it…
Things could go so terribly wrong.
Zac should have checked on Tobias before. He should have done research, kept his eye on him.
He should have done more. Maybe he could have stopped any of this from happening.
…But it was too late for all the ‘ifs’. He’d already said how foolish it was to think about them; he wasn’t going to waste his time on that.
He could dream of the future, though, and plan out what they could do. Tobias’ house was almost in sight.
“I’m almost there. I’ll give you the run down of what I did, I’ll help you plan for this. We’ll work everything out, all right? So…”
He sighed heavily. “…Don’t worry. It’s tough, but…I’ve got your back. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:16 pm
Tobias managed a real smile and gave a soft laugh. “Okay, Zac. Thanks. The door’s open like I said so you can just come on in...I’m starting to feel really guilty about asking you to come over, I just got super tired so...I don’t know if I’m even going to be much company...but.”
He felt stupid now. And there was a small flush that began to creep up his cheeks and he was glad that Zac wasn’t here yet.
“...But I don’t know. It really does mean a heck of a lot that you’d come over for me. Even though realistically you’re doing it for Evan and not me...I’m...I do want to be your friend. And, I swear I’m never going to say that again ever so...listen now and don’t even think about telling Evan that I’ve gone soft for you. Today of all days, he’ll lose his mind. The last thing he needs is to think that we’ll become friends. Good lord.”
A large, loud yawn prevented any more talking, and Tobias forlornly glanced over at the blanket that sat draped over the couch, wondering if it was worth getting up to throw it around himself.
Most likely not but…
“...When you get here, tuck me in, okay? I’m on the chair and I’m too damn lazy to get up.”
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