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 Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 6:42 am
He stood on the edge of the park, the cooling breeze of spring mingled with the smell of damp grass from a evening rain gone by. The clouds overhead undecisive if they wanted to start again or move on.
Move on.
He had tried for a long time. He hadn't powered up. He went to work. He tried to be a good husband. He took the bus into town. Turned his head away from the news and sat in the bathroom sick to his stomach as opportunity and fights went by and the the status of the war was forcefully closed off to him - a self-inflicted twisted mass of rage and guilt that filled his stomach like hot tar bubbling inside.
He was good in the sense he stayed healthy, attentive, and remained home.
He was bad that he would walk the dog and fight trees and walk through brambles and thorns as self-penitence for a uniform unused.
He was tired. Tired of trying harder and harder to close his ears off to the pulls and calls of magic that yanked his leash desperately for action to the point he'd bite the insides of his arm till it took president to all other feelings.
He was a liar. He snuck out to those alleys and backways to do cleanup with Castor.
He was a mess.
The pink-clan knight stood there, uniform speckled from the rain before, and breathed deep. There was no point. Hollow - it was time to come back else he would go even madder.
 Quote:
° This is a ORP for anyone who wants to talk to my knight Gevaudan
° He is a serious guy with a long history and was a former Negaverse General WAY back in the day.
° He still dislikes senshi but won't kill them unless they attack him or a Negaverse agent.
° He will kill a Negaverse agent if thet attack him but woukd rather purify on their terms.
° This rp is mainly talking but if you want spars or damage to your character them pm me and we can do that.
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 8:44 am
All in all, the night was a gentle one, if not a little damp. Every smell and caress of the wind filled and near overwhelmed Chara's senses as he slowly made his way through a park near his home. There was no such thing as peace in this world, not with all the violence and pain and death that came with living in Destiny City, but this... This night was the closest to peace he could imagine.
It was a good night to be alone, to wander, to think and ponder just what they were doing here, how life moved and if anything, were they making a difference here.
He didn't think too much about it though. That's just what Chara needed, having his head jacked up with too many doubts, mind ever changing if it was worth fighting or not, but fighting always won in the end. That struggle to break free of the restraints on the world, to live as freely as he could was forever the most important thing to him. And just as important was to learn.
Cats were ultimately useless to him in the education department (his relationship with them long since tainted by his own awakening), but people he could use. And it was a person who first popped up on his radar, their Aura strong and bright in his mind compared to the hazy and damp darkness that surrounded his body in the park. It didn't take too long to appear before this person, taking in their look from a distance before actually saying.
It was strange how familiar this person was. For a moment he thought he was looking in an alternate dimensional mirror. Similar height, eyes missing, heels and frills. Just the look alone of this Knight pushed Chara closer to the side of comfort and trust than his usual weariness of strangers. It was far too early to call themselves kin, but familiar, he'd call it that.
Upon closer inspection, the Senshi realized the other was more wet than he should be, and standing still, unmoving. What first came to mind was brooding in the rain, dramatics that called for attention, but ********, if he wasn't one to do that too every now and then. It was nice to just stand still and think sometimes. Hopefully the man there wouldn't be offended by him breaking the silence.
"Hey, you doing alright?" Was that the best approach, who knows, but it certainly one of the more friendly ones he had given. "I hope you weren't caught out in the downpour for too long, you'll get sick that way."
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 9:13 am
He felt the aura but it was a firefly in the void. Bright and flickering but a gnat that came rather than fluttered away. Still, an update was necessary and if they were as strong as the aura suggested, then he hoped rank meant intel.
As they approached, his glazed eye refocused and he turned on the spot to face him. If he couldn't tell by the aura, the wings alone screamed senshi. Eternal. Rank before Prince. Lived long enough to get there but that didn't say much sometimes. Even cowards got promotions.
The eyepatch however had his attention.
"I think I have more to worry about while powered up than a cold." He said dryly.
His eye was still focused on the eyepatch. "I've been away. What is the current state of the war like?"
Then, as a afterthought, added, "I'm Gevaudan."
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 9:36 am
"Well, yeah, but if you're sick, then when it matters the most you won't be able to fight, so there's that. Can't fight bedridden, no matter how hardcore you think you are." Chara bit back what he really wanted to say, trying for once to not start s**t, even if s**t wanted so badly do be started. Again and again he reminded himself that infighting in the Order side of things was not the way to go, and getting offended at every tiny half spoken remark would get him labeled as an a*****e.
He didn't want that anymore. Back in the day, sure, he couldn't give a rats a** about who did thought what, the world was already way too full of 'he said she said' bullshit. But now, he had people he worried for, and hoped that maybe one day if they needed help, they could say he was worth reaching out to. So, yes, he bit back his words and tried to let that ever present scowl not be so obvious on his face for once.
"How long have you been away? Tell me that and I'll know where to start. Some s**t's hit the fan, some things have gone quiet. Ultimately, no ground lost, but none gained. I heard the Dark Mirrors got some freaky s**t happening... Bunch of people were sucked up for a while, but that was months ago and just generally quiet since then. Negaverse... They are the same, murderous and tainting every good thing that happens around here." For a moment he paused, thinking if he knew any Negaversers that he at least could tolerate. Nope, not a single damned one.
"I'm Chara. Senshi of Chocolate. Hope your vacation away from this war was a good one." He honestly meant it, a small smile reaching his lips. What he wouldn't give to take a step away from everything, but he just knew the guilt would eat away at him. Hell, even the few days he took off for exams killed him inside.
While thinking of something else to say, he couldn't help but find his own gaze focused on the pink Knight's eye patch. Did his uniform naturally come with something that fancy looking, or was it a choice? Did he really miss an eye or have a jacked up one, or was it weird knight Fashion? Honestly he could never tell.
"So what's your deal, huh?" He asked plainly, fingers coming up and making a swirling motion in front of his own eye patch. "Lose it in a fight or something?"
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 9:59 am
He only stared back at the hardcore statement. It wasn't something to disagree on. It was true and once ages ago he would have been just as concerned and motherly about the weather. But it was just him and there was no one to tend to now. No one worth tending to and Bismuthite was safe at home.
Shoulders tensed as his time away was titled as a vacation and he felt sick and in turn angry wth himself it would be thought as such. That he went away from a war to enjoy himself when it had been nothing but hell. But what else did he have to justfy it then turning his back when he should have been hunting the Dark Moon Court. Thete was no excuses that could justify that and he should feel shame at what he did.
"Months. Since fall." He said with a low and hurt tone.
It only felt worse to hear the Dark Mirror was on the move, the fraction the Dark Moon had crawled out of, and one he also dispised for allowing it to happen. They had moved and he wasn't there to watch them and influence any movements. To get any stranglers.
His mind was pulled away from his thougts as he geastured to his eye. Out of instinct he reached up touch his eyepatch.
"Fought a senshi when I was still a lieutenant. They tore it apart." And because it was brought up. "What about you?"
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 10:16 am
"Hey, now, no need to sound that way." Almost instantly Chara regretted calling his time away a vacation. By the sound of it, it wasn't mean to be one, and calling it something of the sort seemed to have struck a nerve. "I ain't judging anything. If you need a break, you take one. If you need to clear your head, do it. If you're tired, get some ******** rest, you know? You can't be helpful to anyone when you're not at your best. We're still human, after all, even soldiers get leave now and then. Good to be revitalized come back swinging!"
He took a step closer, wanting to pat Gevaudan's shoulder but the longer he looked at him, the more he saw himself in one weird way, shape or form, and if he was sulking and someone tried to touch him, he'd probably snap at them. Yeah, best not to. A confident smile would be best.
Instead he listened, partially interested by the lieutenant part. So people could change, huh..? Good to know.
"Lost in action. Cool. You know, in the sense that it wasn't something really sad. I hope you got in atleast a few good strikes in before that happened. Does the eyepatch change when you power up, or is it a choice that you slap on once you're ready? As for me, I got in a fight with a General when I was first starting out. Got knee'ed in the face real good, never got it treated due to stubbornness, then it got infected and had to be scooped right on out. It happens, live and learn and all that s**t. Atleast I gaver her a good kick in the a** before she wandered off doing who ******** knows. Anyway, you were a Lieutenant for the Negaverse, huh? What made you leave?"
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 10:52 am
He really didn't want to get into the personal reasons why he stopped. In that his husband felt he was loosing his sanity and their relationship was becoming brittle as a result of him obsessing over patrolling at the expense of what should have been their new lives after purification. That he came home too many times bleeding out in the bathroom while he was scolded and stitched up. That he snuck out alone without saying. That he picked fights without thinking. That he still hadn't learned to be distrustful and paranoid and hadn't made alliances as a result.
He was too insane in the Negaverse. Zinkenite warned him.
He was too crazy here. His lover warned him.
He smiled at getting a punch in on Castor when his eye was taken. "Not a good fight then but we had plenty later." And plenty still. He remembered the taste of Castor's blood even now.
"General." He corrected with a slip of pride.
"Metallia forced my hand and I used up all my chances." If Metallia only allowed him to go after the Dark Moon Court then he would have stayed.
"How long have you been a senshi? Do you know anything else about what is currently happening?"
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 11:40 am
"I'd like to see that General I fought back then too. I met her only once then ever again. I can just imagine her face if she saw me now, frills and s**t, but able to kick her a**, embalm her in chocolate or... Something. Thanks to her, it's been a long, long road, man... I'm sure you know though. Maybe. who knows." He paused for a moment, fingers coming up to tap on his chin as if in thought... It hardly felt like it, but at this point it was years right? Years and years since he first donned this damned frilly-a** wardrobe and started fighting...
"Three years, I think? Like I said, It's literally the same ol' nightly fights and trying to save civvies whenever they go out to party and then the Negaverse shows up with their murdering selves. You don't hear about the Order folks doing that sort of s**t. Hell, even the Dark Mirror Court doesn't go out and actively kill people. I heard they did back in the day, but that was before my time." The knight seemed kinda jaded in a way, like he knew much more than he ever could. That was entirely possible, he didn't know much about what was going on, just that there were people in this world, civilians he needed to protect since they damn well couldn't protect themselves.
"You sound like you have been here for a long a** time. If I'm one hundred percent honest, I may not know jack s**t about what this used to be like. When I was awakened, the ******** cat who gave me my pen was afraid of me so she basically just ran off crying. And I never was really good at making friends back then either so if you have a history lesson to tell, I'm all ears."
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 12:08 pm
He thought about it slolwy, eye looking through Chara before, as if ubsure that time coukd have gone so long, amswered. "Eight years...I think." He touched his head, feeling that same sort of unease that came when you lost most of your memories and only kept those of one side of your former life. "I think.....it was 8 years." It seemed so ling since he knew Charonite and Nealite. So ling since Tanzanite used to call out over their heads.
So long since he bended the knee once summoned.
Why couldn't he feel better now that he was her? That he was this? Why did it feel wrong to him? Why did his heart ache so much whenever he thought of them?
Everything felt tainted since his purification. Restlessness invaded his every waking hour. He was a traitor and yet he yearned to hear more about the Negaverse. To let his fingertips graze over the darkened crystal halls.
Amd he knew he could never utter this to anyone. He pulled Bismuthite into this new life and he seemed happy and found joy in being unshackled.
He only found himself dragging a cut chain, hungry to find the Dark Moon but cold otherwise. Longing otherwise.
Pitiful otherwise. He yearned for a order that he could respect.
He continued rubbing the side of his head before he looked up to notice where he was. "Sorry I....forgot a lot when I transitioned. Part of the process."
The senshi talked of the Negaverse and killing with judgement. "Your side kills to. I've seen it. They all have blood. Don't be so ignorant to believe a war goes years without all hands becoming filthy red."
This one never killed. So many wouldn't. It was a weakness in their side. Too prideful and knowing they wouldn't be able to talk so highly of themselves if they did.
"Killing is a part of war. The Negaverse doesn't kill haphazardly but a enemy to Earth is a threat to the planet. Many kill for that. Some less. Kill for this planet. Kill for a planet. Kill to save yourself. Kill to save a friend. Kill for a Queen. Kill for a princess. Kill for...." He flexed his fingers by his side. Quiet.
"A reason will force you one day." He adjusted the hood of his uniform.
He thought of time and history. "There is no point in a history lesson. Everyone is gone from that time. Dead or missing or......just ...not here." Vanished like Tanzanite. Crystalized like Nealite and Charonite. Gone like Zinkenite.
"Too many now at this point. What would it help you to care about the Negaverse when you talk so harshly about them?"
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 12:20 pm
"Yeah, I getcha, no need to apologize." He didn't mind this at all. The steady flow of conversation, and the minor parts learned hear and there.. He always did wonder what it would be like to purify, to make the one he loved follow him into the Order side of things. Ptolemaeus had sworn he would purify, but deep down Chara knew he wasn't ready and just couldn't let him. It wasn't as if the Dark Mirror Senshi ever really did anything wrong that he knew of, besides just being a general know-it-all a*****e.
He was about to say something else when Gevaudan spoke again, his golden eye narrowing.
"That's not what I ******** meant. Yeah, sure, each side kills. But I don't see the White Moon going around and stringing up Civilians for fun. Don't assume you know me. I've killed before too, I know how it feels to have someone's life slip through your hands and realizing that it's 'your fault'. What reason is there to pull people's starseed, or to slit throats open and let that blood spill out? None except for power, following orders or some cop out like that, and to me, that's bullshit. So a civilian is killed because they are a threat to the planet?" He couldn't help that tinge of anger getting to his voice, irritation bubbling up faster than he could hold it back.
"You're right, I don't ******** care about the Negaverse except so far I haven't found one good reason to forgive them for what they've done. So maybe I was asking to learn 'okay, so why the ******** do they do what they do?' Seems like I'm not going to get a solid answer from you, am I?" The last words came out nearly spat on the ground, a bit of disgust lacing each one.
Maybe he really wasn't suited for anything like Recon or making friends, that was fine. He'd rather just be the attack dog he always knew he was than worry about alliances or something along those lines.
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 12:45 pm
He stared back, not surprised and hesringnthe converdatuon so often that he debated getting angry and knew it woukdn't change anything. If Chara wanted to know then he needed to know a simple thing about the Negaverse.
"Because they are you. They are not serial killers. They aren't people recruited from prison. They are you. Your friends. Your family. Your roommate. And someone came to them with a choice and that was to help make the world safe. In a time like this....if you weren't met by a cat, wouldn't purpose and power in a unsure and dangerous world appeal to just about anyone? How do civilians feel when watching the news? The gossip that goes about. That offer comes as control when there isn't any to be seen."
"But unlike you, we......they had superiors. They have order. They had commands. Power has a price. It's not yours. It's not a birthright. Sign up and you can't just change your mind. If they order you to get orbs, you get orbs. If they order for starseeds, you get starseeds. If they order you to fight to the death, you fight till you are gone. Because you signed up for a purpose. For power. For safety. For a cause and there is no stopping. Good soldiers just don't stop. Not after they have done so much and lost sooo much. Soldiers don't stop the march and dissertion is not tolerated."
"Could you just stop being a senshi? Leave your comrades to fight without you? Stop after you already killed for this war? What would you call your excuse?"
He brought the hood down. "Stop calling it a cop out. It's very real."
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 1:08 pm
"That's a whole lot of 'what if's' you're throwing about. Back before I found out I had this power, I was scared, sure, so maybe I would have taken it if offered, but you know what? I still have my own morals to deal with. I have my own thoughts and feelings, and those say that the moment that I was ordered to take a life of a civilian nobody, I'd be that person deserting. ******** those superiors who would command me to take a life for some unseen queen! That blind obedience is no excuse either! What, are all those weak idiots there blinded so badly by a need to be controlled that they'd walk off a bridge and sacrifice their life for some ******** purpose that is never clear to them?! Call me a bad soldier then, because I'd rather be dead than subservient to a cause that I think is morally wrong. And obviously, yeah, you can just not do it, you purified after all!" Chara could feel that rage boiling up even faster now, fists balled up, straining against his palms he tried to keep his own voice from raising too loudly. Shouting wasn't going to fix anything. He knew damned well he couldn't just shove his thoughts and ideals down someone else's throat and make them think the same.
Above all, he valued his freedom of choice, and he'd be a hypocrite if he tried to deny someone else of that too, even if to him they sounded like they were making excuse over ******** excuse.
"You talk as if you still wish to be one of them? What for? To have someone to follow? Or for what, some sort of need to 'help the earth' or whatever kool-aid the Negaverse is dishing out now? At least being here, on this side, I'm free to make my own decisions, and you are too. Obviously you aren't' a 'good soldier' either, since you've already left, whether for selfish reasons or not." With a deep breath he tried to force down the obvious color that was coming to his face that so often happened when he got worked up.
Even he knew it was a dumb reason to get angry, and he wasn't making any friends by being the bit of an a*****e he was now.
"It's all about choices... Here, on this side, you have a choice in everything you do. But I do know that you're right, sometimes you don't have a choice with Chaos. You can be force corrupted or killed and then you either try to find your way out, or you're stuck like that, forced to suck on the tit of the Negaverse while just trying to live your life. And it sucks, there's no denying that."
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 2:10 pm
"You're the one making assumptions. Like you know every detail of the Negaverse when you just admitted you know jack s**t about it. You think it's easy. You're quick to eat whatever the side of Order feeds you because it's the side you work for and it would tarnish the halo you view with your side. It makes it comforting to know you're not as bad as the side because it helps you sleep at night. You been here 3 years and you have the balls to bark back at someone who not only has been on both sides of the fence but has been in this war WAY longer than you have. If you asked a question, then don't get pissed so much when you get an answer that doesn't agree with you. I'm not here to pat your head and confirm that the way you see the opposition is exactly how you dreamed it in that empty basket-case you call a head. So ******** off if you don't like hearing about it."
He snapped back, his somber reserve snapped in the face of a nobody puffing his chest as if he knew everything that was with the Negaverse when it was clear he never even spoke to one at length before. "You ******** don't even know what a starseed is for! You're a idiot!" He called back, throwing his hands up.
"Oh! What a JOY it is to have choices when everyone chooses to be lazy and squabble among each other as people die during their indecision. All sides suck!" He barked back.
"And don't you even begin to assume my reasons to purify you little twit." He said, stepping up close to Chara. "You don't even know who the hell I even was."
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 3:00 pm
"Oh boo hoo, woe is me! You making yourself sound like a really whiney-a** pissbaby. I don't need you ******** commentary on what's good or bad, and I <******** said I didn't know s**t! You're the one getting all pissy about everything! Geesh, I knew I was meeting some brooding loser all emo and s**t out in the rain, I didn't know I was going to meet up with some little crybaby s**t. Maybe it's YOU looking for some sort of confirmation that you aren't just some little s**t who apparently couldn't take what was dished to him, and needed to run away!" Chara gave up his barely composed state to sink back into that scowl of his, not bothering to back down from this sad sack of s**t in front of him.
Atleast he didn't sit outside like some sad depressed little brat and pout in the rain! Atleast he didn't pretend to know everything!
He kept his sadness and fear bottled up at home under his bed like every other sane person would.
"Look, we can throw this s**t back and forth all night, but the matter stands that war itself is <******** hell, and there is no reason at all to be arguing over it. Opinions are opinions, and I've been here fighting since I awakened, so that's that. We really don't need to be arguing over it."
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Posted: Tue May 08, 2018 3:14 pm
His weapon was already summoned, and he stepped back. One hand gripped the golden chain while the other held the other end and spun a large, golden wolf head.
"If you don't want to fight, I strongly suggest you <******** off before I kill you." He said with full seriousness.
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