{PRP}What did I do wrong? {Adar/Yinth x Nalacko}

[magnadearel]

Avid_RPer18

It had barely been a day since she had returned home from the unexpected hatching. She was slightly shaken and disorientated. Nalacko had found a bit of peace and quiet from the other still-candidates. Usually she enjoyed company, but their chatter was just getting on her raw nerves.

What had she done wrong yesterday? What had caused that dragon to pick that girl or boy and not her? Even several standing among the group with Rizdax had impressed. Nala felt like a bit of a failure. Her father had made it known he thought she was one too. Ly'bur had questioned her scathingly on why she hadn't impressed at her first hatching? The queen had been right there among her group, and she hadn't done anything.

She winced, remember the lecture her father had given her. Nalacko knuckled her eyes to force back the tears. Despite growing up in the weyr, and listening to the lessons from since she could toddle, she still couldn't place a finger on why. Why? Why hadn't she been lucky? The young teen gave the sigh of self pity.  

[Avid_RPer18]

magnadearel

Here it was, her first full day as a weyrling. Similar to before and yet wholly different at the same time. Classes, lessons, lectures, and chores seemed to be the rule of the day; and perhaps everyday until graduation drew near. Nothing new or original, unlike the subject matter. Adar had never minded the work and working toward keeping the little blue walking along side her happy and healthy was her utmost priority. Fortunately for her, Yinth in general seemed to be just a happy, pleasant little fellow, if their time together thus far was any indication.

"Let's see..." Adar began, fishing out a slightly crumpled folded up piece of paper from a pocket. She had jotted down an overview of the expected daily schedule for weyrlings, simply for ease of reference. "Okay, I know I fed you plenty, so I think I'm gonna be ready for dinner when it comes around. I did feel you enough, didn't I?"

'I am full, beloved. Don't worry about me. We've been working hard today. We're going to have to make sure you get enough.' Yinth nuzzled his head into her hand reassuringly. Couldn't let her run herself ragged on his account!

Chuckling softly, she scratched between his headknobs as she consulted the paper. It'd probably be a few days before the new rhythms and schedule got fully ingrained in her mind. Adar skimmed down the listed times, pausing at hearing a sigh in her periphery. Looking up and refolding her paper, she blinked at spying a girl. She was a candidate, a younger one. Adar had seen her on the Sands the previous day, but hadn't seen her standing before. Lifting her hand from Yinth's head, she stepped forward toward the girl. "Excuse me," she began softly. "Hey, are you okay?"

Yinth's consistently blue eyes shot through with a flicker of worried yellow. His Adar was concerned and the young lady she spoke to seemed upset! The small blue gave a little croon. What was the matter?  

[magnadearel]

Avid_RPer18

Sorry for the wait!

She hurriedly brushed the betraying tears from her eyes as an unexpected voice came from nearby. Nalacko looked up and almost winced away from the pair that were now standing nearby. They embodied every ache in her heart right now. She tried not to look at the young blue dragon as she nodded to the girl who could only be his rider. "Y-yes, I-i'm fine."

She tried to ignore the young blue as he gave a little croon. Perhaps she'd made the wrong choice to become a candidate. Nala wished she could tell them to go away, but she didn't want to be rude to the new weyrlings. Her eyes dropped to the ground as she stared at the tops of her shoes as being the safest best.  

[Avid_RPer18]

magnadearel

I swear I'm not intending to post once a month. |D;;;

The redness of the girl's eyes and the lowered gaze said otherwise. She was hurting. Adar rubbed her thumb into the cradle of the opposite hand. Hmming softly, she nodded after a moment. Beginning almost tentatively, she spoke. "Yesterday was your first Hatching, wasn't it? I hadn't seen you standing before and I've been here for a couple of turns, Standing, Touching, waiting." Waiting carried an implied tone of frustration and disappointment. "If-if you'd like to talk about it or if you have any questions, I'd be happy to lend an ear, share what I know, or whatever."

At this point she sighed, gently chiding her worriedly pacing bondmate. "Yinth, please. It's okay." The small blue slowed his winding around and between them. He sat, curling up compactly next to the candidate, nuzzling his snout against the girl's hand. "Sorry. He's worried, and affectionate. I'm Adar, by the by. What's your name?"  

[magnadearel]

Avid_RPer18

Lol no worries. Whatever works right?

Nalacko briefly glanced up through her lashes as she heard the other girl hum. What on Pern are they standing around here for? She wondered to herself. She was nothing special. When the girl finally spoke, Nala almost jumped. It didn't appear as if this pair was going away any time soon.

Her throat closed at the question. Mutely she nodded. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. Though her words were like sand or salt water into a wound. It took a moment for the words, then the tone to sink in. Nala figured out that this girl had been in her shoes often enough. Perhaps she didn't have a father like Ly'bur, but she'd been there; alone and disappointed after a hatching.

"Why didn't I get picked?" Her voice cracked on the question and betrayed her heartache. Of course she knew more candidates were left than got picked, but why did it have to hurt so much? There wasn't much this new weyrling could do about her father, but perhaps familiar pain shared would be pain halved.

She'd been trying to ignore the pacing of the young blue, and tried to unobtrusively lean away from him when he sat next to her. Nala jumped as she felt the soft hide against her hand. She considered pulling her hand away, but then lightly patted the soft nose. "Nalacko," she whispered.  

[Avid_RPer18]

magnadearel

Ah, that certainly explained things a bit. The first was often the hardest. All the excitement, the anticipation. It was rough to see friends and maybe even family Impress around you while you remained. Sometimes it was worse to have family in the Stands there to watch. Sure, every pair made was exciting to witness, and the potential havoc unbonded dragonets could wreak was good at keeping folks on their toes, on the edges of their seats, but the crash of the Hatching high, leaving disappointed under your kin's gaze could be rough. Less so if they were comforting and understanding, but Adar was under no illusion that not everyone had that sort of support.

The emotional voice crack in the question that finally came tugged right at her heartstrings. The furrow in her brow deepened as she reached out to give the younger girl's shoulder a squeeze. As much as she was wanting to, wrapping her up into a hug probably was more likely to shut the conversation down than it would be to keep it going. "I know how you're feeling. I do. What I held to was this: Your bondmate, the dragon that will complete you, and will encourage and challenge you every day, may not have been out there simply because they haven't been born yet. Would you have preferred to Impress to a dragonet that didn't fit with you to have gotten it over and done with? Is your ideal bondmate not something worth waiting for?" Adar shook her head. "When it's still a fresh sting, it hurts, but I found the thought rather comforting. It's not a failure on your part or anyone else's. It's just a matter of time."

'Do you wish to remain here? Should we find a place to sit or would walking together feel better?' An out of the way place could be good. Don't you think so, Adar?' There was just so much emotional energy roiling about. The little blue was practically itching to walk and let the girls talk through it, or, equally or more so inclined was he to find a quiet spot and just snuggle up between his Adar and this Nalacko. Comfort on two fronts!

'I'll ask her, Yinth. I agree though. We shouldn't just stay here.'

'Oh, good. Thank you, love of mine. I appreciate it.'

"Nalacko," Adar echoed softly. "I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. Would you like to walk and talk? Or would you prefer for us to tuck ourselves away somewhere inside? I'm okay with whatever would make you more comfortable. The weyrling barracks probably aren't especially populated at this hour, or we can find a place to blend in. Dining hall or kitchens, maybe? Or just some quiet place to sit, unless you'd prefer to walk around, of course."

Yinth stood again and pushed his head more fully into her hand, encouraging of the contact. It would be okay! He and his Adar were obviously qualified to help soothe her pain! Surely!  

[magnadearel]

Avid_RPer18

Nalacko brushed away the tears that kept trying to trickle down her cheeks. She wasn't sure how she felt about the understanding hand upon her shoulder. It felt good in a way, and hurt because she didn't want anyone's sympathy. Countless, endless candidates had been in her shoes before. She shook her head slowly, "no. But will it always hurt so when at the end I walk out alone again?"

That was what was crushing her spirit right now. The tender thought of hope only to be ripped to shreds each time her perfect dragon hadn't been there. And her father's disapproval. Could she face that over and over again, knowing it might never end? To be left standing alone for the last and final time?

"Not every candidate impresses," Nala murmured sadly. She looked up at the new weyrling slightly surprised. "W-why would y-you want to sit s-somewhere with me? Shouldn't you b-be celebrating?" The young candidate gestured to the young dragon. This was suppose to be a happy time for the newly bonded. Nala doubted anyone noticed if a couple of candidates were missing after a hatching.

She would have preferred to be alone with her misery, not ruining the first special night for a new weyrling pair. In fact, Nala had thought she'd found a good spot. Obligingly she continued to rub the soft skin presented to her by the blue. It was very nice of him to allow her to touch him even though she wasn't his rider.