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 Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:10 pm
If Evan had anyone else he could have relied on, he would have called them. Usually, he resented the idea of going out alone, after dark—he had for years, even before he’d been turned into a youma. And, while he’d gotten stronger and was better equipped to deal with all monsters of the night, he firmly believed in avoiding trouble where you could.
Which meant, he should have stayed home and not gone out at all.
But dinner would not allow that.
He was halfway finished with it when he realized that they were missing a key ingredient, and considering how invested he was in making this meal, he didn’t really have much of an option but to run out and get it himself.
Cambria and Zack both would be home from work within the hour, and Tobias was trapped at a family gathering. The store was only a ten minute walk away, and he knew that he could hurry and be back with plenty of time to finish up dinner—or at least be close—and so he’d mustered up all his confidence and set about the task.
It was early enough that the stores were still fully staffed, but late enough that it wasn’t too busy; he was in and out of the store in under two minutes.
The area around the store was well-illuminated; the last rays of the setting sun had been a comfort while he was on his way to the store, but now the sun had completely set and he was faced with the dark trek home.
He tried to walk as tall as he could and as briskly as he could manage as he clutched the bag to his chest. He hadn’t bothered getting dressed up, but he was in two sweaters instead of his usual one, and the dark colors helped him blend into the shadows.
It wasn’t really anything surprising—all of Evan’s clothes were dark.
He tried to keep his eyes focused on the path ahead of him as he walked, but he was on edge and as hyper vigilant as always, so his eyes kept darting around as he hurried.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:11 pm
She had noticed him in the store. Karone had been entering as he had been leaving, and for a moment she hadn’t quite known what to think…because that surely was the same boy that she had seen turned into a youma. There could be no doubt of it, right down to his frightened, resigned expression.
Karone debated with herself for a moment and then turned around, leaving the sore and powering up in a shadowy section of the parking lot.
It didn’t take long for Cavansite to spot him again, and after finally sighting him, she teleported into a tree that was a few yards in front of the boy, and jumped in front of him as he drew near. “Well. You’re a face that I never expected to see without fur.” There was a slight edge to her voice, her mind on Cinnabar once more. On Tanais. “So…I suppose the senshi found a way to help you, too, right? And don’t lie to me, Cookie. I know the senshi have figured something out.”
She wanted to reach out, to touch him, to make sure he was really…real and not just some deranged conjuring from her already strained mind. But…it made sense. Cavansite had thought of the boy-youma on occasion…never enough to do anything, but the thought was there.
“How does it feel to be human again, Cookie?”
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:15 pm
Evan stiffened at the voice; he knew it without even seeing her face. His blood ran cold and he felt his chest constrict as if his heart had violently imploded. He nearly dropped the bag he was carrying but his body was so suddenly rigid that he couldn't move.
He didn't think he could speak and he certainly knew he couldn't look up at her. Still, through ragged, pained breaths, he managed to mumble a few forced words.
"I don't know what you want me to say. Please leave me alone. I didn't want trouble before and I don't want it now. I just want to be left alone. Please," he said, voice trembling and suddenly desperate.
He almost managed to flick his eyes up to her but looking at her seemed akin to eying Medusa and he had already seen enough monsters in his life. He knew he would lose control if he was reckless. He forcibly tried to swallow his fear.
"Please just let me go home," he whispered, so quiet that he hoped she didn't hear the way his voice cracked.
But, he was a mess already. Small and curled into himself, head bowed and trembling.
He didn't want to deal with trouble.
He didn't want to deal with her.
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:16 pm
So it really was her little Cookie. For a moment, Cavansite felt a pang of weakness. Of compassion that she tried very hard to dispel as quickly as possible. She couldn’t let herself go to pieces because one stupid boy was seizing up on her. She was a General, she was tough and mighty. She was someone who was supposed to incite reactions such as this.
Such fear and discomfort shouldn’t be making her stomach twist with guilt.
Finally, the General managed to give a passable excuse for a smirk and crossed her arms in front of her chest to keep them from trembling.
“No. Not until you tell me how they managed such a feat. Though…I am a General now…I could bring you into the fold for real, if you were interested.”
Perhaps that would help her own conscience. It seemed like a good idea…and wouldn’t they be proud to have a former failed agent brought into the Negaverse…a failed agent who had knowledge of how the senshi had reversed the youma process…
He could be a game changer.
“So, what do you say, Cookie? Would you like to be brought into the Negaverse by someone who actually has the power to do so?” Her voice grew softer, almost gentle. “I won’t turn you into a youma like that idiot did. I promise. I know what I’m doing.”
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:17 pm
Evan was more caught up on her threat to bring him into the Negaverse; he could feel the warm wetness in his eyes well before his tears clouded his vision. He hated that it was his instinctive reaction to cry—because that was so helpful in situations like this.
“I would rather die,” he answered hoarsely.
Even if he was corrupted, he knew that Cambria could save him—again. She’d find some way to do it. But he knew what could happen when the Negaverse took you by force, and he didn’t think he could trick any part of himself to want to join them, even if it meant saving some of who he was.
No matter what happened, if she tried to corrupt him, he’d be dead—one way or the other.
And he’d be an empty, blank puppet, free for her to manipulate and twist into a thing to hurt people.
There was no sarcasm, no exaggeration, when he said—in full honesty—“I will kill myself if you try.”
It was a promise.
He was trembling, gripping the bag so tightly that it looked as if it might tear, but there was no hint that he was bluffing.
He’d thought about this before and he knew with absolute certainty what path he would choose.
At least if he was dead, and good he had a chance to be reborn. And, maybe he’d be lucky enough to meet Cambria and Zac and Tobias again, in the next life. And maybe they could be happy, then.
He couldn’t bring his gaze up from the ground, even though he couldn’t really see anything anyway.
His voice trembled when he spoke, but he seemed determined to say something. “I’m useless to you, and the Negaverse. I don’t want to be a part of anything. And I can’t even really remember what they did. I was a mess for days, or weeks, afterwards. I don’t know, it’s all a blur.” He didn’t want to give her information, he didn’t want her to use it against Courts like Lysithea’s and try to stop them from helping people.
…But he didn’t want to die, or be subjected to her cruelty, so he had no idea what sort of narrow line he’d have to tread if he had any change of making it home in one piece.
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 4:32 pm
Cavansite paused at his words and frowned slightly. He would…rather die than be brought into the Negaverse? What a stupid thing to say. “Why? Why would you kill yourself if I brought you into our organization? I can understand not wanting to become a youma again…but as an officer, you would have power. Nobody could hurt you anymore. You would be the one calling the shots…eventually.”
Her arms folded across her chest and she watched the boy, still frowning. “You don’t remember how they helped you? But…surely someone spoke to you about it after, didn’t they? You can’t give me any information?” Her voice almost turned into a whine but with a shaking breath she managed to reel it back in, forcing it to become something sweet, something almost gentle.
“If you tell me anything you can remember, I won’t turn you into an agent. I won’t attempt to turn you into an agent…but please, Cookie.” She took a step towards him and extended a hand. “We need to know how this is happening so we can find a way…to stop it.”
She realized that the words sounded bad. What was good about stopping people from being monsters? Absolutely nothing but…
But there had to be a way to save them from being monsters and keep them in the fold of the Negaverse.
That was what was needed. “Not to stop helping the youma, I agree that such a thing is a noble cause but…” Cavansite swallowed and shut her eyes firmly for a moment. “There has to be a way to separate youma from officer while still keeping the officer where they belong…save the person from the monster without removing the chaos…there has to be some way to do that…and please. Tell me what you know.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 4:49 pm
He just wanted to go home.
When Cavansite took a step towards him, when she offered a hand, he flinched as if he expected to be struck.
He hated the weakness in the response, like he was so pathetic that he couldn’t run or fight. She was stronger than him—like this, even when he was powered—and no matter how he imagined this situation playing out, it didn’t end with him on top.
No matter what he did, he lost.
Now it was just about trying to figure out how much he lost.
With as much willpower as he could muster, he pried his eyes open. He couldn’t do anything to curb how much he was trembling, but his eyes were at least open. He couldn’t bring himself to—to, what, accept her hand? What was she doing with it?
Evan swallowed the lump in his throat.
“Someone would always be stronger than me,” he said quietly. “Someone would always be better. I’d be taking orders and doing what someone else wanted, and I’d be trapped because if I didn’t do what they wanted, how they wanted, I’d get in trouble. And I’d never be good enough, and I’d never be on top. I wouldn’t be calling any shots, ever.”
Bossing one person around, or whatever Lieutenant or Captain was below you, was meaningless when there were older, stronger Generals. Or General Kings.
Nobody could hurt you?
What a joke.
Being a lion meant nothing if you were in a pack of starving lions. There would always be a weaker link, and Evan didn’t have the will power or heart to be what he needed to survive in the Negaverse.
But.
She said she’d let him go if he told her what he could, and he wondered if it could really be so easy.
“There was a group of them,” he said after a moment. “A group of Senshi. But I don’t know why you’d want to stop it. You don’t even care about youma, anyway. Who cares if a few stupid monsters get taken out of the fold?” he asked, too much bitterness and self-hatred seeping into his words. He didn’t seem to notice.
He had more information he could give her, but he prayed she could be satisfied with a small tidbit. “…I wasn’t anyone important. I don’t think anyone even noticed I was gone. And I want it to stay that way,” he insisted, voice almost hitching. “I don’t want anyone to know.” For a split second, his eyes found hers, but he couldn’t keep her gaze for long and refocused his eyes on the ground almost immediately afterwards. “…Please. I don’t want to be some science project, I don’t want to be tracked down. I don’t want anyone to know about me because then they won’t leave me alone—and that is all I want, just to be forgotten and ignored.”
At least, by the Negaverse.
Now, he seemed to realize he’d showed too much emotion and had to draw in a sharp breath and wipe the back of his hand across his eyes. His voice was more mumbled, less confident, when he tried to distract from his outburst by muttering, “Why do you care so much about stopping it?”
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 5:04 pm
She didn’t care about the fact that he’d never be good enough. The words didn’t even register in her mind, but she drank in the words about the senshi. A group of senshi had done it? A group of senshi had taken Cinnabar away forever. Had turned her mentor into a traitor.
“It just matters. Especially when the monsters get taken out are your mentors it…it just matters, okay?” There was obvious pain in the General’s voice and she closed her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest once again. “That’s really all you remember? Of course I have to report this, Cookie. I reported it to her when I saw you youmafied, and I will report it to my…well. To one of the General Sovereigns now. I’m not sure if they have the information that it’s the senshi who are doing this…but if they don’t…now they will. Thankfully…”
She opened her eyes to look at the boy in front of her and even managed a small smile, however briefly it lingered. “Thankfully I don’t know your name. And I’m sure you don’t work where you did, and honestly I can’t recall where that was anyway so…there shouldn’t be any way to trace you or hunt you down. I suppose…”
She shrugged. “I suppose I could try and dig up that General who youmafied you but…I’m not sure where he’s gotten to either. Not that I’ve bothered to look for him, but.” Shrugging again, Cavansite turned around, closing her eyes and covering her face in a hand. “Scram, Cookie. I’ll give you two minutes, you better be far from here by then or I’m going to take you back to the General King with me to do my report.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 5:28 pm
Evan’s breath hitched and he could feel the corners of his vision darkening. Spells of uncontrollable fear weren’t entirely uncommon but he found himself praying not now more than he ever had before.
He couldn’t lose control in front of Cavansite; she didn’t care what happened. He had to remind himself that begging and pleading had meant nothing when, suddenly, she was telling him to go.
She was letting him leave.
He didn’t have to give names or descriptions or reveal any more information, and she didn’t know his name. His appearance, maybe, but not his name. She knew what area he was in, but he could resolve that by staying inside again. Even the food truck, he’d just stay in back—where he liked to be, anyway.
Just before the spell of panic kicked in, it registered to him that he could leave.
He took one slow, hesitant step and glanced up at her, but her back was turned.
So he ran, as fast as he could, towards the safety of his home. It registered faintly that he shouldn’t run straight home so he took a shortcut and charged through several neighbor’s backyards before hurling himself into his house.
He dropped the cooking supplies in the kitchen and ran through the house, closing every curtain and locking every door. He shut out every light and went to hide in the room Cambria and Zac shared.
Dinner was abandoned for tonight; they could order pizza.
He had no intention of crawling out from under the covers of their bed tonight, and maybe not even tomorrow, either.
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