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 Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 10:47 am
Quote: 12 - A tall, redheaded man with a very attractive face walks past, head tilted up, blue eyes watching you with regal arrogance before he disappears into the tent. There's something odd about it...have you seen him before? You can't seem to remember...
Slowly he made his way into the tent that he shared with Arias and half fell onto his bedroll, not quite knowing how he had managed to get from the crowded tent to here…and hadn’t there been a performance about to go on?
Closing his eyes for a moment, Nick reached up and pressed the heels of his palms into them, blocking out whatever light lingered, but that only served to make the blue eyes of the red haired stranger flash again through his mind, sending a shiver through his body and leaving him both…slightly aroused…and at the same time, slightly fearful.
But there was no reason to fear anyone. Wasn’t he an animal trainer? Someone who knew the meaning of fear when dealing with the large elephants? The clawed beasts?
No, there was no reason to fear a pair of beautiful blue eyes.
That was stupid.
But still…
Glancing at the bedroll next to him, Nick let one of his hands flop over, hitting Arias’s chest lightly. “Hey. You awake?”
This was important. Kind of.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 2:55 pm
Arias grunted instinctively more than out of pain. He had been sleeping but he has always been a light sleeper and truthfully was already at least somewhat awake when he heard Nick come in. He just hasn't been expecting to be nudged.
He reached up to brush the hand off of his chest and grumbled "It would be so much nicer to be woken up with a kiss..."
But, he was awake now, regardless of how it has happened. He just needed to figure out what he was staying awake for. He reached up one hand to tiredly brush at his eyes but he didn't yet have the motivation to open them and look at Nick.
"I'm up," he confirmed, partly for himself and partly for Nick. "...Is everything okay?"
Because something had to be going on if Nick wanted him to wake up like this. There was a tiny bit of concern in his voice--so much more so than any agitation.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 9:13 pm
Nick snorted softly and rolled over closer to his husband, straddling him and gazing down on his sleepy form before planting a gentle kiss on his lips. “Better, love? If I would have known you wanted to be woken up like sleeping beauty, I would have done so.”
He smirked and stroked Arias’ cheek lightly before rolling off and snuggling up beside of him.
“…This is going to sound strange…but do you ever feel…I don’t know.” He thought for a moment and shrugged. “…Out of place? I mean I know…this is our life…this is our home…but…”
Nick shrugged again, sighing. “Do you know of a guy with red hair and these…eyes. Like bright blue. Chill you to the bone blue…I…I don’t know. This guy looked at me…and I’m not sure I knew him but…you know, we should know everyone here, right? Nothing’s changed in years…”
There was that strange feeling of wrongness with that thought and Nick sighed, rubbing his face for a moment. “I don’t know. Maybe he was just a new performer that I hadn’t seen before…but Arias…there was just…something about him…I can’t put a finger on it but…I can’t shake the image from my head.”
Though…it might just be because the guy was attractive…but…that didn’t feel like the whole reason…not this time, at least.
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Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2018 10:50 pm
Arias had no time to enjoy the gentler treatment; of course would have preferred to be kissed awake instead of swatted at. Cheek stroking, snuggling, soft kisses. That was the nice way to be woken up.
Only, he would have rather not been woken up at all when he realized the context of the conversation.
His chest sunk when Nick noted that things felt out of place, and then when he started talking about some guy. He was glad for the darkness so Nick couldn’t see the way his eyes opened to stare dully at the dark ceiling, or the way his lips twisted into a scowl. It was hard to just lay still and not simply roll to the side and give Nick the cold shoulder.
“You probably just want to screw him,” Arias said, perhaps more flatly than he’d intended.
Do you feel out of place.
This is our life but…
Our home but…
Nothing’s changed in years.
Probably just innocent statements from the man he’d chosen to marry. They probably didn’t mean to him what they meant to Arias.
Out of place, because he’d married too soon. Nick shouldn’t have settled down with anyone; he wasn’t ever going to be satisfied with one person.
Our life but. Our home but.
But, it wasn’t good enough.
Nothing’s changed in years. Because Arias was boring and stable, and Nick needed the electric thrill of new people, new romances, and he’d follow the path until they both burned out or the next pretty face showed up.
Arias supposed that was now.
“But to answer your question, no. I don’t usually feel out of place.” Except when Nick was batting his eyelashes and flirting with someone else in front of him, or when he went to bed by himself, knowing Nick was out indulging somewhere else.
But that was their life, and Arias was resigned to it.
“And I can’t recall anyone of that description. Red hair and blue eyes are common enough, but I don’t usually crawl into bed with my husband while thinking about another man, so, no. I must not know him.”
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 8:08 am
Of all the things Nick had been expecting to hear from Arias…this wasn’t it, and for a moment, the male stiffened and pulled away slightly, raising himself on his elbow to look down at Arias. “I’m not…That’s not…”
Should he have kept his mouth shut? Talked about this with Orah or Ollie instead? It wasn’t his fault that he was feeling so strange, right? “Weren’t we…getting ready for a performance and now we’re here? You don’t think that strange? I don’t…”
No, if he continued with those thoughts, Arias would just think he had been drinking or doing drugs of some kind.
“Nevermind. I just need more sleep, I guess. But. I don’t want to ******** that guy. He just had a strange vibe I guess. Strutting around like he owned the place, he…looked at me and just…I don’t know. I was almost afraid. I guess.”
And hopelessly attracted, of course but Arias didn’t need to know that. Even if he suspected it.
“…I thought you liked knowing what went on in my ‘pretty little head’. Wasn’t that what we fought about last month? Me not sharing my thoughts with you? Well…if you’re going to react badly to them, I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut again.”
There was a flash of his anger, something he had been trying so hard to control but…
But something that was a part of him. Each and every day.
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 8:32 am
Arias glanced at the man next to him, torn between apologizing and taking some mediocre satisfaction that Nick was as upset as he was. Maturity won out; he sighed heavily and groped in the darkness for Nick's hand.
"I just woke up. I'm cranky, I'm sorry. You weren't at dinner earlier so I wound up sitting near too many gossips and they had a lot to say. You’re a favorite topic, and I suppose I blend into the background too much, or perhaps they wouldn’t have been so brazen about their rumors. Or, maybe they just didn’t care, I don’t know.”
For all the snark he’d had earlier, it deflated quickly. He didn’t like confrontation and had fallen into the role of complacent husband more often than he cared to admit if it kept Nick in a good mood. “I don’t want you to go back to keeping secrets, Nick. I misunderstood what you were saying and had a foolish reaction.”
He’d take the blame, even if there was a hollowness in his heart.
“I truly haven’t seen a man like that. But if you scared you like that, I would warrant there’s something off about him. I don’t think I’ve ever known you to be afraid of anyone or anything. I’ll have to keep my eyes out for him. I’ll ask around, see if anyone knows anything?” he suggested, fingers trying to lace with Nick’s when he finally found them.
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 8:58 am
“I don’t know why they bother gossiping. Like when I first started seeing the other two, sure but. I’m not doing anything different than I have for the past few months, so they can suck my d**k.”
Nick wanted to pull his hand away, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, and finally let out an unhappy breath and snuggled closer to Arias again. For better or worse. They were married. He couldn’t let a stupid fight do anything to change that.
“They’re all just bored, Arias. They have nothing better to talk about and…you know that I love you the most…I’m married to you, for goodness sakes. You’re my everything…my emotional support…my…” Leaning close, Nick placed a kiss on the male’s cheek.
“I don’t like upsetting you. I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention for this…I just…something about today has me feeling…off. It’s not you. You’re my constant and…we’re supposed to talk about things that are bothering us, right? That’s how…that’s how marriages work…right?” There wasn’t any mocking edge to his voice, just a quiet plea. He wanted to be doing the right things, he really did…having two side hustles wasn’t the best way to keep a marriage alive but…
He couldn’t help that he loved them. Not as much as Arias, of course…but he did love them. “I’m sorry I keep hurting you.”
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 9:14 am
Arias’ first response was to say ‘It’s okay,’ but it wasn’t. He didn’t like hurting, and he didn’t like letting Nick hurt him—even if he didn’t mean to. Instead, he just nodded, drew in a breath, and shoved those feelings into the pit of his stomach. He moved a little closer to Nick, making himself comfortable as he rested his head on the man’s shoulder.
It didn’t matter if anyone was gossiping because they were bored, or maybe because they were jealous and wanted a piece of Nick for themselves, it never felt good to hear about people speculating why your husband was off having multiple relationships.
That you knew about.
He didn’t know if it would be better if he didn’t know, but at this point everything was public so it wasn’t like he could hide from it.
“I know,” he said finally, in response to everything.
He knew Nick loved him, knew he didn’t want to upset him.
He knew he wasn’t going to be happy for as long as Nick kept falling in love or losing himself to fantasies about other people, but Arias was his stability, his rock.
His boring, overbearing, unwavering rock.
“…I’ve been feeling a little off today, too, I guess,” he confessed. “I just thought I was coming down with something. It felt like I was walking through a fog, but. If you’re feeling off too, maybe there is something strange going on. I haven’t seen anyone odd, but.”
…But he did sort of feel like he couldn’t remember how he got here, or what he was doing earlier in the day. It felt like wading through mud, or trying to find a light switch in the dark.
“I will keep my eyes out. I don’t like you being afraid, or not feeling safe. So we’ll figure out what’s going on. Maybe we’ve both just got some cold or something? …Or hallucinating because we aren’t getting enough sleep? –How much sleep are you getting? I feel like I don’t see you for half the week.”
It was nagging, but not necessarily in the jealous way—just the worried way. Arias knew Nick could push himself, and he was concerned that maybe he wasn’t taking the best care of himself.
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 9:29 am
When Arias admitted to not feeling…right either, Nick felt the tension in his shoulders leave. He sighed and slumped against the other male, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “I have no idea, love. But I’m glad it’s not just me…Maybe we are getting sick, but I hope not, there’s way too much to do to be getting sick now…”
He slowly drew his and Arias’ hands to his lips, kissing the tips of the brunette’s fingers lovingly. “…Do you want to try to take a nap? We could cuddle, and I know I woke you up, but…if you’re feeling off, and I’m feeling off…let’s try and sleep a little to get rid of the funk?”
They could talk about the relationship things later…or never, for all Nick cared. He knew Arias didn’t like what he did but…he had never told him to stop…he wanted Nick to be happy and the three of them made him happy…
Arias was just the one who had made him the most happy…which is why they were married.
With a sigh, the blonde looped an arm around Arias’ waist and pulled him closer, burying his face against the other male’s neck. “I love you. To the moon and back, Arias. Now and forever.”
Of course…when he closed his eyes though, all he could see in his mind was the piercing blue eyes and that self assured smirk of that red haired stranger…
And again, it disquieted him.
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Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 9:54 pm
Arias could feel Nick relaxing next to him, and the relief was contagious. The little kisses were gentle and reassuring, even if he couldn’t help but doubt some of Nick’s words.
He knew he loved him, he knew he was important to Nick.
He just dreaded the day when Nick found someone he loved more—because at the rate he was going through lovers?
He’d find the perfect one before he wore himself out.
And yet, each new lover of Nick’s shaved away a little part of Arias’ heart—whittled it down into something sharper, something smaller.
He didn’t know how much of himself he’d have left by the end.
“I love you, too,” he said, instead of dwelling on anything else. It was too late for conversations about relationships, and he’d only upset Nick if he pressed the matter. He shifted positions to make himself a little more comfortable
Arias didn’t know how much of himself he’d have left by the end.
But, for now he could sleep, and maybe whatever fog this was would be gone by morning and he could think clearly again.
He kissed Nick’s cheek and then lay his head back down.
“Sleep well, have good dreams.”
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