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 Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 7:26 pm
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It had been months since he had seen Whisler. Ashanite was conscious of that, unhappily so, and of the fact that their last meeting had been less than pleasant, due entirely to whatever had been ailing him at the time. Whisler had been sweet and concerned, and he had been...a jackass.
There had been so much to do, so many preparations to make to ensure that his planned operation went off as flawlessly as possible, and he had lost himself in the details, but...
He missed Whisler. He needed to make sure he was alright, and that he was still interested in helping. That Ashanite's idiotic neglect hadn't let wither what he had worked so hard to grow.
So he went to their park, the one where he so often found his Knight, and took a seat on a bench and waited, and hoped.
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Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:25 pm
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Ashanite felt the aura of a Transcended Knight, and he barely began to hope. It was...ridiculous, that he was this attached to someone. That just the possibility of seeing Whisler after so long felt like finding water in a desert.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. So much foolishness and weakness, and yet he couldn't help it. There was a very short list of people who made him feel that way, and he couldn't help himself, not really, if Whisler was one of them.
So when he heard that familiar voice, he stood and smiled, warmly, and he had to laugh a little over the rather unconventional greeting.
"And it's good to see you as well, darling," he said, and he itched to reach out, to touch,. but after how they'd parted before, it didbn't seem quite right without something. "I'm sorry," he said, "for the way I treated you the last time we spoke. And for the unconscionably long time it has been since then."
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Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 5:18 am
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Whisler held himself rather stiffly…or at least a little more stiffly than normally, his tension only growing when Ashanite didn’t reach out and embrace him or take his hand or try to kiss him.
Not that he wanted any of that…but he was used to it.
Though…when the General called him darling…that endearing pet name that always made his knees tremble, his posture got a little less stiff…and when he apologized, Whisler even managed a small smile. “You were sick…” The excuse came automatically, the words wrapped in forgiveness and love, coming out as more of a caress than anything.
Slowly he moved closer, seeming almost hesitant.
“I…I was worried. I came here every night for a month but you never showed up…and then I started scaling back…I…I just assumed that you had died…I mean…” He shrugged, glancing away. There was a tempest inside of him right now, and he wasn’t sure what was going to come of it. On one hand, he was still trying to stay reserved, trying to keep the images of his Wonder and Ida and Arias fresh in his mind but…
On the other hand, it was Ashanite, and he felt his whole body stirring to be closer to him. To be close enough, to corrupt again and stay by his side forever.
It was utterly stupid how much seeing one person could again flip your entire outlook on life
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Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2018 3:08 pm
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Ashanite did not miss how tense Whisler looked. That was...worrying, and he didn't like to think about what it might mean. It was difficult to imagine losing him. The prospect made Ashanite a little ill, and made his chest hurt in a way he disliked acknowledging.
That was the trouble with getting emotionally involved, wasn't it. It tended to hurt.
But he watched Whisler soften and he let out a tiny breath, meeting the Knight's smile with one of his own. There was no more hsitation, and he move dinto Whisler's space and reached up to push a piece of hair away from his face.
"Sick or no, I still treated you poorly, and you deserve more from me than that." He hated prostrating himself with apologies, but frankly, he would give one to Whisler if it kept him.
There were a lot of things he would gladly give to Whisler. It was too bad that the one that would most easily allow them to be together was so entirely off the table, for him.
"It takes more than a bit of illness to kill me, darling," he said, "but I hardly intended to abandon you. I'm sorry for making you worry." More apologies, of course. "Have you been alright?"
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:31 pm
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It was so easy to laugh along with kisses pressed to his cheek, to lean into the one pressed to his lips. To just enjoy Whisler being affectionate, because it made him happy, and things that made him genuinely happy were few and far between.
"I'm not, I'm quite over my case of...whatever that was," he said, a lilt of amusement in his voice, and he was prepared to lean in for another kiss, but the way Whisler withdrew and grew serious had him frowning.
He felt his heart drop, and something cold settled in his stomach. Ashanite was not fond of the idea of can't; something not having been done just meant no one had done it yet. But perhaps...perhaps there were some things that could not be changed.
"Are you certain?" He asked. "Has anyone tried?" He could imagine the answer was no; from what he remembered of the future where he had embraced his Wonder, he had been self-righteously certain of his choice, like a fool.
"I just....there is nothing in the world I want more than to have you here, in the Negaverse, at my side. Where you belong." It was more sincere than he wanted to be. Than he should be.
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Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:47 pm
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Ashanite's shoulders sagged briefly. He wasn't exactly surprised to hear that no one had ever tried, but it was...disheartening to hear that no one had any idea at all.
Even Whisler's tender gestures did nothing to remove the deeply troubled look on Ashanite's face. His thumbs ran over the Knight's cheeks, and he glanced down and away, not able to hold Whisler's eyes.
"I want to be with you, too," he said, a soft admission. Not enough, perhaps, but he wanted it.
He tensed, head jerking up, and stared with wide eyes. Perhaps the admission shouldn't have startled him. It had been a long while, and he had....been stupid. Taken things for granted.
"Of course I didn't forget about you. Of course I still care," he said. "I've been...working, planning. but I have never forgotten you."
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:55 pm
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"I was being stupid and proud," Ashanite said, as if that excused how he'd behaved. He was an idiot and he knew it, and that was the worst part. Whatever was wrong was his fault. A brief breath. "I can't tell you what to think, Whisler, I can only tell you what I feel."
This was the worst part of it, wasn't it?
"No, it hasn't; that's what I've been working on," Ashanite said. "Perfecting things has...taken more time and effort than I anticipated." To say the least. It had been a hell of a chore, ensuring the house he'd chosen was suited for what he needed. Renovations weren't exactly a speedy process, when they had to happen.
He would have laughed at the assertion, if it didn't feel so serious. It was almost funny to think of how many falling outs they'd had, one way or the other.
"Beginnings of the year aren't good for us, darling," he said, but there was an underlying seriousness to his tone. A tiny smile crossed his face. "And I'd like to believe that you are, darling, because I am happy to see you."
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Posted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:42 pm
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Whisler’s nod was slow and he wasn’t sure if he was relieved or unhappy that the plan hadn’t yet been carried out…on one hand…perhaps he really hadn’t been forgotten but on the other…
Well. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to be a part of it…the idea of murder made his stomach churn right now.
The smile that Ashanite shared with him made his heart stop for a moment and it was returned with one of his own, and without his allowing it, his hand was reaching over, placing itself on Ashanite’s cheek. “Well…I hate it. I don’t like fighting with you. It makes me feel…off. That sounds stupid but…that’s the only thing I can think of to describe it.”
His fingers brushed down the males skin and purple eyes flicked up and down Ashanite’s frame, trying for a moment to remember what he had looked like as a knight…the image was…well. Perhaps it was more of an imagined Ploutonian, rather than an actual memory…he had known the knight what…ten minutes? If that? They hadn’t even had a proper conversation.
Whisler pressed himself closer, trying to move past his reservations, his hesitations and his moral compass…he knew what he wanted…knew what path had to be traveled…but…it would be difficult.
If not impossible.
Slowly he brushed his lips over Ashanite’s neck, kissing him just above his collar, moving the kisses up to his ear and sighing softly into it. “…You promised.”
It was going to be a risk. A big risk...it was his own wonderful game now,
the game of skirting the line between order and chaos just close enough that Ashanite crossed it...while Whisler continued to be who he was...
"You promised me, General." The word was spoken with such reverence that it was almost impossible to doubt it. "...if I can't come home, you'd think of coming back to me.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2018 1:52 pm
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Ashanite exhaled, and he leaned into Whisler's hand on his cheek, eyes closing briefly. "I'd prefer not to fight as well," he admitted. As if that was something he could control--but it could be, if he just...made the effort.
He let a tiny breath as Whisler's fingers trailed over his skin, and with the Knight pressed against him, with kisses trailing up his neck, it was hard to remember all his objections to going back to Order. If he went back, this wouldn't be the cat and mouse game it had to be, and he wouldn't have to worry about them being on opposite sides--but.
But.
"I did promise," Ashanite acknowledged, a little guiltily. He had, once, because that had been part of the trap; a promise for a promise, but he had never really had any intention of following through. There were reasons he had left Order behind. Reasons that still stood. "And I will. Think on it."
He inhaled, briefly. He had a team now, underlings relying on him, a proper position in the Negaverse. Could he really give all that up for one man? Even for Whisler? To return to the slavery he'd fled and still feared?
It was a harder choice than he'd thought it would be.
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2018 4:11 pm
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“Thinking doesn’t change things, lover…” Whisler’s voice was soft, sad, his lips still moving softly, gliding away from his ear, moving back down the General’s jaw, lingering for a long moment when they found Ashanite’s lips.
By the time he managed to pull himself away, he was loath to do so, but with an almost impatient sigh he looked once more at his greatest weakness.
“I want to be with you. I want us to be together always and…and I’ve been trying, without your help for the most part…but I’m at an utter loss…so…come to me. Or at least start planning for it. Make the arrangements…though I’ll keep working. I’ll keep trying to break this curse that I have…”
He swallowed, biting his lip. “I…just want to be by your side. That’s all I can think about most of the time, Ashanite…I’m not a patient person and…and you drive me utterly crazy.” The knight took a step back, drawing in a shaking breath. “Don’t waste too much time thinking, or I know I’ll just die.” Even now, all Whisler wanted was to be back in Ashanite’s arms.
His resolve was fading and he knew he had to get out of there…and quickly…before he said something stupid. “Plan for it, lover…I’ve got plans in place for my corruption if that happy day ever comes…so the least you can do is give me the same courtesy.”
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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:58 pm
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Ashanite sighed against Whisler's lips, letting his eyes close for a moment. It was, certainly, nice to imagine a future where they could be together, and if Order were just a little less of a trap...
Perhaps if he looked, he could find a way to make it less of one. Perhaps he hadn't yet burned all of his bridges on the other side. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
"I'll start planning," he said, and he meant it. "I made you a promise, after all. And I'm certain there's a way out for me, somewhere." Even if he wasn't sure he wanted it. Even if all the evidence still said the Negaverse was the best place for him to be.
Stupid, foolish, blind sentimentality. Whisler was the only person who could make him turn his desire for self-preservation upside down like this.
"I'll look for answers, for myself. Come back to you with a course charted to get me out, should that be what must be done." If it would even work. His heart certainly wasn't in the idea of being a hero, of running around as a caped defender of justice, but...Whisler didn't need to know that. Whisler just needed to know that he was willing to plan.
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