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 Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:07 am
Tobias hadn’t been one to show emotions. Or at least before he started dating Evan he hadn’t been one to show emotions, but somehow that silly boy had turned him from a snarky b***h…to a bleeding heart. And the dumbest part was the fact he didn’t really even mind. Seeing Evan’s smiles and hearing his laugh made everything worthwhile.
He was on his way to Evan’s tonight, and he was more worried than he cared to admit. Evan had been acting oddly lately, hardly responding to his text messages with more than a haphazard smiley face and taking hours and hours to do so, and Tobias was worried.
It wasn’t due to some fault of his own, at least he hoped not, and so Evan must have just hit a rough patch…but this was nothing he couldn’t handle, especially not with an insulated bag full of Kraft Mac and cheese that he had made himself, and another bag full of nice and cold Dr. Peppers.
Of course this was nothing he couldn’t fix. There was a bunch of flowers too, bright colors in hopes of cheering the boy up, and of course.
The best thing was the fact that Tobais was coming as well. Because, he was the best balm out there.
Sliding into the driveway, the blue haired male gathered up all of his things and knocked softly on the door, holding the flowers out, ready for his boyfriend to open it and start crying or something…
As long as it wasn’t shut in his face…he could work with whatever was wrong. He could help fix this.
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:09 am
Zac had been home for most of the day; he hadn’t had much of a plan to enjoy his day off, but he hadn’t been enjoying much of it. Things had started off well enough, until it was nearly lunch and he hadn’t heard any movement in the rest of the house since Cambria had left for work.
Usually there was a television on somewhere, and the smell of food, and Evan’s soft, hurried footsteps as he moved from place to place. Usually there were more lights on than there needed to be, and while Zac pretended to complain about the electric bill, he knew Evan couldn’t stand shadows.
Working late meant that Zac usually slept in until nearly eleven, so when he finally pried himself out of bed and found that the house was quiet, dark and devoid of delightful aromas, he assumed Evan must have gone out.
Only, his shoes were still by the door.
By noon, Zac texted him a question mark and heard the familiar ting of Evan’s phone from his room. When he’d knocked, he could tell it was a bad day. Evan didn’t immediately answer, and at first Zac thought he’d woken him up. He let himself into Evan’s room and found the smaller man curled in bed, staring blankly at the television. The sound was almost too low to hear, and Evan was tucked under several layers of blanket in a dark room. His nightlight was on, but it didn’t seem to be bringing him any comfort.
Their conversation had been brief; even with Zac’s pestering, he had insisted that he was fine, just tired. Then, that he was a bit under the weather. Then, that he was just going to sleep off a headache.
They were the excuses Zac had come to know, but what he had never been able to figure out was how to make Evan feel better. He tried to get him to eat, to no avail. He’d gone in and sat with him for a while, played with his hair, until Evan seemed to fall asleep.
Now, he was letting him rest. Or, letting him pretend to rest; it was hard to tell. He probably shouldn’t have left Evan alone for so long, but when Evan requested to be alone, he had allowed it.
Evan hadn’t come out of his room, which meant that it was Zac who opened the door and looked at Tobias lazily.
“Flowers?” he prompted, “For me? Oh, Tobias, you shouldn’t have.”
Even his teasing seemed tired; he rested against the door frame and exhaled. He supposed he knew why Tobias was here but asked anyway, “What can I do for you?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:10 am
Tobais blinked when it was Zac who opened the door, and although the sight of him made his stomach knot with worry, he plucked a blue flower from the bunch, broke the stem and leaned forward, tucking it behind Zac’s ear. “Well, I know how much you like them, and I just wanted to brighten your day.”
He managed a wink, though the jovial expression on his face fell after a moment. “Can I talk to you out here for a minute, Zac?”
Letting his voice lower to hardly a whisper, Tobias glanced inside. “Is Evan ok? He hasn’t been really talking to me, and I’ve tried to figure out if it was something I did or just…he’s not in a good place right now, and I mean…if it was something I did, he should be fine, right?”
The male swallowed. “Like, I would rather you tell me that he’s fine and just doesn’t want to see my crack whore face because I upset him. I can fix that. Eventually. But…seriously, Zac.” His voice was earnest and he watched the other male with a steady expression. If he had ******** up, Zac wouldn’t sugar coat it, and maybe he could figure out what he had done because of that. But…
If Evan was on a downswing…he had to tread carefully. Depression was a b***h.
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:21 am
Zac squinted when Tobias tucked the flower behind his ear, and though he wore a scowl he didn’t reach to remove the flower until Tobias asked him to speak.
He took a step forward, outside of the house, and closed the door behind him. It wasn’t like Evan would hear, but he didn’t want to make a mistake and somehow make all of this worse.
He snorted when Tobias was finished and shook his head.
“No, I don’t think it’s you,” he answered earnestly. “It’s been a while since he had an off day so it’s not like this wasn’t a long time coming. He’s had a few since he met you, but I guess you weren’t close enough to know, back then. This time of year isn’t the best for him. Winter blues, or whatever.”
It wasn’t a seasonal thing, it was a personal thing.
And there was plenty in his history, and Evan’s, that Zac had no intention of divulging.
“It dredges up bad memories,” he shrugged, and while he would toe the line of too much information, Zac had a very clear standard for a history he wouldn’t speak of. Years ago, he’d gotten Evan to tell him. He’d whittled away and pried and bullied until Evan caved and confessed what memories haunted him. Zac should have been proud to have gotten him to open up; it had been hellish to get him to tell him. And yet, even when Evan confided in him, Zac hadn’t been understanding.
He’d been cruel, because that’s what he was used to. He regretted it now, because it was all fun and games back then. He had enjoyed picking on Evan, making him squirm, prodding at his weaknesses. He’d gone too far—wow, what a surprise—and knew he’d done irreparable damage after the confession. Back then, he hadn’t cared to fix it, but now he regretted it. He regretted a lot, these days. He knew he’d damaged anyone’s chances of getting Evan to open up to them, to broach the topics that weighed heaviest on his mind. He doubted Evan might ever find the courage or willingness to repeat what Zac had worked so hard to get out of him.
Now, it was a secret they would both carry, and it was a secret neither of them could share.
Zac reached up to rub at his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose before he looked at Tobias again.
“Don’t know the last time he spoke to his family. He’s been on and off since Christmas. Frustrated trying to get his food truck, keeps talking himself out of it. He’s afraid he’s going to mess something up, afraid he’s not good enough. This’ll pass, it always does. It’s just a low point. But, I’m afraid he’s not really looking for company right now. He’s sort of made it clear that he thinks he’ll be better off spending the rest of the day holed up in his room. Though,” he glanced at the bags Tobias brought.
“…I haven’t been able to get him to eat anything, really.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:21 am
Well…s**t. Nodding slowly, Tobias gave a small sigh. “You’re still going to at least let me try, right Zac?” His voice was soft and Tobais looked at the blonde with perhaps more respect than he had ever shown him. “If he’s having issues with the past and bad memories…I mean…you might not be able to get him to eat, right? You…you’re from his past. Not that I’m saying you’re part of the bad memories, but you have to be at least a little tied up in them, right?”
He wasn’t trying to blame Zac, not for Evan’s family issues and whatever else plagued him, but he was trying to reason why he should be allowed to try to get through to his boyfriend.
“If he doesn’t want me to stay, I won’t stay. I swear. I’m not going to force myself on him…I just want to make sure he knows that I love him and that I’m here if he needs me. That’s all.”
Evan was worried about the food truck? Maybe it was time to sell off some more of his stock and just buy the thing for him. That way he could use the ten grand as money to get him started.
With a little smile, Tobias thought of how happy Evan would be when he pulled up with a brand new, fully furnished truck just waiting for him to bring to life with his cooking. “I need to see him Zac, please. I know he’s in a bad place, but I want to help in whatever way I can. He’s everything to me.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:22 am
Zac didn’t want to admit that Tobias was right—he was from his past. And, more than that, he was a part of too many problems and too many bad memories. He was responsible for a decent portion of them, too.
Tobias was a fresh face, a new light. Someone who, to Zac’s knowledge, had given Evan only good memories.
He didn’t need to debate for long; Zac sighed heavily and nodded. He reached behind him and pushed the door open. He stepped in first, but moved aside so Tobias could join him.
“Fine,” he agreed, “But don’t be upset or give him a hard time if he doesn’t seem like he wants you there. I don’t want you adding to whatever he’s feeling, so if you can tell he doesn’t want company, you’re going to have to excuse yourself and be nice about it.”
They were warnings he knew Tobias didn’t need, but that he couldn’t help but say. He was worried about Evan and he wanted him to be okay.
“If things go bad, I’ll grab you a beer. Just let me know what’s going on, if you can.”
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