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 Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:13 am
All things considered, it had been a good week. Evan had his rough patches here and there, but it hadn’t taken as long to piece himself back together as it usually did. Which meant, by the end of the week he was out on his own, returning some books he’d had for a little too long. He’d racked up a grand total of five dollars and sixteen cents in late fees, and while the money wasn’t an issue, he still apologized profusely. As punishment, he told himself he wasn’t allowed to check out any new books.
Which was for the best, since he knew he was probably going to be a little busy in the upcoming weeks and he didn’t want to risk more late fees and the wrath of any of the librarians.
While he wasn’t totally comfortable on his own, he’d make this walk enough times to think that maybe it was safer than he’d originally given it credit for.
Until something rustled in the forest nearby and suddenly there was a burst of color and he screamed. It was a short, startled yelp and his hand went over his chest, partially to still his heart and partially to protect his starseed from the agent that just appeared out of nowhere.
It took a few seconds for him to recognize her and, when he could speak, he blurted, “Bellite?”
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:38 am
Bellite couldn’t hide the mischievous grin from her face and beamed at the boy. “Hey there Evan. Long time no see. How have you been?”
She hadn’t meant to make him scream, hadn’t meant to scare him, but she couldn’t help showing off her new upgrade…and her new teleportation skills…even if they did take a lot out of her.
Gently she reached out and stroked Evan’s cheek before booping him on the tip of his nose with her index finger. “I didn’t mean to frighten you…I suppose I just wanted to show off. I’m a Captain now, as I’m sure you can see, so I guess I didn’t think…” Bellite’s eyes were sparkling and she looked so happy. It was good to see Evan, and he looked a lot healthier since she had last laid eyes on the boy.
“You’re looking so good, Evan. I almost didn’t even recognize you…I’ve thought about you a lot, you know. I’m always wondering how you’re doing.”
She loved him, that was all there was too it. It was difficult not to love someone that you put so much effort into saving.
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2018 10:28 am
Evan didn’t jump when she touched him, but he seemed confused for a few seconds. He managed to smile and confess, “I didn’t recognize you at first, either! Congratulations on the promotion,” he said, but admittedly faltered afterwards.
“I’ve been doing okay, but…I thought…in the Negaverse it was more dangerous when you got stronger?”
He looked worried and added, “What did you have to do to get that? –Are you okay? They aren’t making you do anything you don’t want to do, right?”
Evan wrung his hands nervously and looked up at her, clearly seeking reassurance of her wellbeing and happiness before he could talk about himself.
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 6:32 am
“I didn't’t have to do anything, I just...I was just working hard, I suppose. I...I don’t think that it gets more dangerous when you get stronger, honestly when you’re stronger it’s easier to protect the people you care about...and now I can go back to researching youmafication and figure some things out.”
She gave a happy little sigh, glancing off into the distance. “I haven’t been back to Sanidine’s old office yet, but I still have the key, and I’m sure they won’t mind me claiming it as my own...I might go and talk to one of the General Kings about it later, honestly. I...I’m not a fighter, but you and I have always known that, which is why it’s so good that there’s other positions in the organization that I can help with.”
Bellite was rambling, she knew that, and yet...she didn’t seem to be able to stop. It almost seemed as though she wanted Evan to care. To want to return, as an officer this time, of course but…
“I miss Sanidine...I...I wish he would come back…”
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 6:34 am
Evan swallowed and shook his head. He always had mixed feelings about the name ‘Sanidine’. On one hand, he had faint memories of the man who turned him into a monster. And yet, despite knowing that it was Sanidine who sealed his fate, he remembered that he always came back to him, always tried to help him and take care of him.
It was a strange feeling, knowing that someone could be your curse and your savior.
In some ways, it was like his choice in boyfriends—at least, before Tobias.
His brows were knit and he looked down and shrugged. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, seeming shyer now. “…I’d like it if you didn’t have to worry about the Negaverse at all. I mean, I can’t say that I had good experiences with them.”
He wrapped his arms around himself and pursed his lips. “I’m happy for you, I like you. But I sort of get all nervous whenever the Negaverse is around. I mean,” he shrugged. “They don’t ask you to hurt people, do they? Kill them?” His mouth was dry and he had to force out, “To—to use youma…?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 6:41 am
“I’ve never killed anyone, Evan...I would never. And I don’t have a youma...and even if I did...I think I’d just get one to work on saving them. I couldn’t use one as a tool like the others do...I would want to be as kind and gentle as I was to you...I…”
She drew in a breath, frowning as she saw how uncomfortable he looked. “I’d want them to get saved just like you were. And then we could be friends, them and I.” Her face lit up and she seemed really happy with the thought. “I think youma...are much more useful as people...and I’m going to write a thesis I think. And perhaps work on some alternate ways of turning them back into humans...there has to be some way to...dilute the chaos running through them.”
Growing quiet, Bellite suddenly seemed distracted. “I don’t know, I guess I sound kind of stupid but...in my head it sounds pretty great. But...I really am so glad you look so good. I know I keep just...repeating myself but...I worry about you all the time. I’m so glad you’re adjusting well…” Pausing, the captain looked at the boy and gave an almost sad smile. “...are you afraid of me now?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 6:42 am
Evan hesitated, but a faint smile appeared on his lips. His brows were knit, but he still seemed to trust Bellite. “I’m afraid of everything. I’m terrified that the Negaverse is going to find out what I was and try and get me back. I’m terrified that I’m going to get mugged, or miss my bus and be stuck in the dark, or that I’m going to fall down and make a fool of myself in public, or scare all my friends away. I mean, the Negaverse is a little…more dangerous. Now that I know what they can do.”
He pursed his lips and shrugged. “…I’m just afraid of being a monster again. I’m afraid of not being able to control myself, of being trapped in my own body. It’s just scary, Bell. Being able to think, but you can’t speak. And no one can understand you, and no matter what you do, no one gets you. And then, slowly, you feel your thoughts start to slip away, and…and then you wonder if you just imagined yourself being a human. You wonder if you just made everything up. You wonder if it’s worth being alive if you’re just going to get worse and,” he inhaled a ragged breath and had to shake his head forcibly.
“I think it’s really nice that you want to help youma. I think I might like the Negaverse a little more if they were trying to help people. If they were more like you. But I mean, I still think you’d be really good on the other side! I mean, I—I’ve been to a Senshi homeworld! And it’s really neat! It’s a whole other world, Bellite, how can you not want that? And you could do all this research on youma and try to help them!”
He had to bite his tongue; there was so much that he wanted to tell her. He wanted to say that he was a Senshi, and he could help her, and together they could both work together on saving youma, but…
He couldn’t compromise his identity. He didn’t know what she’d think of him if she knew that he was a Senshi.
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 6:42 am
“I’ve been to a Knight’s Wonder. Her name is Cordoba, she’s a real sweetheart.” Quietly the captain tucked a lock of hair back behind her ear and sighed. “I...I don’t know, Evan. I don’t think I’m ready to leave the Negaverse yet...there’s still so much I can learn. So much good I can do without a target on my back.”
Bellite gave him a rueful smile and shrugged slightly. “I...I mean...Maybe one day I’ll purify...but...I don’t know. Have you ever thought about joining us? Not as a youma again, never as a youma again...but properly brought in by someone who isn’t in a panic.”
She wondered if it was wise to push this...but honestly, she didn’t really want to stop it. She wanted to know him better. She wanted to protect him better...she wanted Sanidine back...and if Evan joined their cause...Sanidine would return, she was sure of it.
“We could talk Sanidine into coming back too, if you wanted. We could all be friends...and I would protect you, Evan. You know that. We could all be a family. He doesn’t have to be a knight to protect you, he can go back to who...who he’s supposed to be.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 6:47 am
Evan’s eyes were downcast again. “I wouldn’t be any good in the Negaverse,” he mumbled. “And I don’t even know where Sanidine is. I’ve got my friends, people who are important to me, but he’s not a part of my life. So I’m sorry, I can’t help you there. I just,” he shrugged. “…I don’t belong in a war, Bellite. I’m not even good at dealing with the normal things. I don’t have a job, I can’t drive, and I still have days where I can’t get out of bed. The Negaverse would eat me alive. They’d be so disappointed in me, they’d have no choice but to turn me into a youma. It’s better if I just stay out of the picture.”
He tried not to sound as nervous as he was; he wasn’t a great liar. He hoped she wouldn’t pick up on it; he had enough problems already. He hoped she would only see it as his usual skittishness.
“…I’m gonna open a food truck,” he mumbled. “And if I’m lucky, that’ll work out. I don’t know what else I could ask for, but…I can’t fight, Bellite. I’d be fodder, at best. I’m not smart like you, I’m not clever, or strong. I’m not important, and the Negaverse would never want me. I’d just wind up messing things up and getting hurt.
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 6:48 am
“...He purified to help you out. He told me that. He’s a knight now...he still kind of looks like Sanidine but his name slips my mind at the moment, but I’m sure I’ll think of it if I try hard enough. You’re going to open up a food truck? I love food! You should let me know when you’re going to open...oh!”
Bellite’s eyes sparkled for a moment and she looked terribly excited. “Why don’t you ask the library, you know, I bet they would let you park outside, it would be great for both of your businesses I bet, and the poor thing needs some love.” She grinned and opened her mouth to continue, before breaking off and glancing around, almost seeming a little nervous.
“Evan...you should get home. I feel another agent nearby...I don’t want them to see you.”
She reached out and ruffled his hair. “Don’t stop for anything, honey. Go straight home and be safe. I love you.” Giving a small wink, the captain teleported again, the effort not really necessary, but she felt that it was for Evan’s safety.
He was worth protecting. He always had been worth protecting.
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2018 6:49 am
Evan was still processing the things Bellite had said when she warned him that he should head home. He couldn’t imagine the face of any Knight that might have purified to help him, but he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe out there somewhere was a Knight who couldn’t remember him.
It was something he’d have to look into—another day. He found himself bristling with Bellite’s warning. He didn’t even try to fix his hair before he waved to Bellite and began to quickly trot off.
If he hadn’t trusted her before, the fact that she was always looking out for him meant the world to him; he figured he could always rely on her.
…And, maybe when things calmed down a little, he could find her again to learn more about this Knight.
Even if that meant he had to beg the library to let him keep his food truck out front every day until she showed up.
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