Hi, Vamps!
I’m just going to drop in because I have a little more information! A nebula is not actually a celestial body, it is a celestial object! There is some clarification
here but for ease of access, we will add to the character creation thread that Nebulas are not allowed. Constellations are also not celestial bodies but is something we have permitted because the old shop introduced it and we didn’t want to take it away from players, in case there were any questions about that!
(Petit-Prince is a valid name, though!)
Additionally, regarding lacerations, Senshi magic cannot be written to cause lasting damage (As the magic is intended to exist for a duration and then it, and the effects should disappear),
but in this instance, the magic is the burst of wind. The wind disappears, and the players have the choice to take damage or otherwise. In the basic magic, the wind pushes the character back and possibly knocks them over. It does not need a duration, but I would recommend bumping it up to three uses!
For his super magic, the clarification that lacerations are not guaranteed is important. We have worked hard to adjust Senshi magic so that damage is optional, and sometimes players will not question the semantics of ‘can’ and ‘will’, so it helps to have clarification right there in the magic! I would suggest adjusting the magic to instead say, “It is strong enough to knock you over and back a few feet, and will knock the wind out of a target and leave them feeling dizzy while they recover from the blow. At player discretion, the magic may also cause bruising or three long, somewhat deep lacerations, as if they had been attacked by a bird’s talon.” This gives the player all the information they need, but also makes the magic more powerful than his basic stage (by making the target winded and dizzy). If the player chooses to take lasting damage, they can, but it is clearly up to their discretion.
For his Eternal magic, the clarification you provided is enough for this magic to be approvable,
however, I am worried that you may wind up in battle with an underpowered magic. You are not obligated to change this, because it is stampable! It is just a concern that I can see popping up down the road, but if you are all right with the magic as it is written, the eternal magic is stampable! (When you reach eternal stage, if you find yourself unhappy with his abilities you can always revise, but there is no pressure because there is nothing wrong with this magic; thank you for outlining its intent and capabilities!)
One other thing that I want to note is that, at 23 years old, he would be too old to awaken as a Senshi! The latest a civilian can awaken as a Senshi is the night before their 21st birthday, so I am afraid you will have to age him down to awaken him!
Please give me a quote if you have any questions or make any changes and I’ll be back as soon as possible!