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When the knock came, Rhona was elbow deep in dough. Previously, she had noticed a distinct lack of caramel and cinnamon buns in her life, and so she had endeavored to rectify that situations. As with all things involved Rhona Lee, however, she soon found herself in over her head and she couldn't decide between four recipes of various spiced and sticky rolls, so she just went out to get the stuff for all of them. Cooling on the counter were mince sticky rolls, gilded with sweet white icing and topped with candied orange peel. Int he oven set pistachio and pomegranate sticky rolls which originally had a chocolate glaze, but Rhona was worried that would be too much, so she was simply planning to dust those with ground pistachios and powdered sugar. She was currently working the dough for strawberry mint buns which would be crowned with glorious chocolate icing (honestly, those were the ones that she couldn't wait for) and on the table she had prepared the filling for cinnamon caramel sticky rolls.

All in all, when the knock came to signal a visitor, Rhona was... less than prepared. She gaped at her floury, sticky, messy hands in disgust for a long moment before she filled her lungs and let out a massive, "It's open," because got know that she wasn't going to be able to get the door with her hands covered in pastry.

As she waited for whomever had come to visit to make their way to the kitchen, Rhona scraped the dough off of her hands and arms because her project really was no excuse for being a bad hostess. Once clean, she set to work setting the kettle to boil and clearing off the table so that they at least had somewhere to sit. God she wished that her kitchen was cleaner... It wasn't a total disaster, but it also wasn't great. But at least the table would be presentable. The glass bowl in the center still have bright green pine boughs lining the bottom with festive holly leaves and pine cones resting among the greenery. Three white tapers, clearly previously burned, rose from the decor. she quickly replaced them with fresh candles, arranged the already baked and decorated buns on a plate, set those on the table as well, and finally arranged the tea cups at two chairs.

The fluffy of activity took maybe sixty seconds, and in that moment the timer for her second set of buns went off, and as her last act as preparing hostess, Rhona removed the fragrant rolls from the oven and placed them to cool on the stovetop.

Form the moment Lavender walked into the kitchen she reminded Rhona of... well of herself. It was actually kind of... comforting... to know that she wasn't the only one who was sent into a bumbling mess whenever the other was around. Never the less, Rhona did blush at the "eat me" slip, but cleared her throat to avoid choking on her own tongue. She hid her face in a thick fall of her own hair to mask the dopey smile that split her lips on two and busied herself at a nearby cabinet.

"Er. no, actually. It's great that you came! I man cannot live on sticky buns, nor can I! Turns out they aren't super nutritionally sound. Even if they are super fun to make..."

She pulled out two plates and set them next to the cups on the table, following those quickly with glasses full of water.

"Set your stuff down, Lav! Take a seat!" The timer on the kettle chimed, signalling yet another flurry of activity. As she worked, pulling a small matching milk pitcher from the fridge, she asked, "what kind of tea do you like, Lav? I've got... oh hot damn, actually it'd be easier to make a list of what I do have... herbal, green, or black?" If Rhona had her way she'd have earl grey. She's always have earl grey. But tea was tea and she'd be happy just to have a break from baking and running around. Happier still to spend that break with Lavender.

Earl grey it was. Rhona smiled as she pulled the tin down from the cupboard and carefully measured it into the sweet little ceramic pot. She'd be in much the same position as Lavender if she opened her mouth... better to keep herself in check and make sure that she knew what she was saying before she spoke. for the most part. When Lavender began to lament her verbal mishaps, Rhona only laughed easily, her head tossed back as was her way, and she assured the other woman, "Oh please, you've seen how much damage I can do in less time. I'm the last person who will damn someone for saying something embarrassing." She didn’t think that she had to mention the scene that she had made the last two times that they had been together.

However, she did lack the sexual innuendos… that certainly was interesting.

Even more interesting was the scene that Lavender was conducting on her own as Rhona turned around with the steeping tea and sugar bowl. Her calm evaporated for just a moment and her complexion reached a level of rouge that just about matched her hair. Oh dear. It was only Lavender’s change of subject that brought Rhona back to her senses and caused her to clear her throat.

“Er, yeah. And it happened kind of suddenly too… maybe that’s why I got the sudden urge to bake… try and maybe stave off the cold a little bit.”
Back to working. Keeping her hands busy so that she didn’t do or say something idiotic, Rhona began dishing out the food that Lavender had brought.

“Honestly Lav, I’m not sure how you knew that I hadn’t eaten today but I thank you so very very dearly for this. And you can help yourself to my buns.”

Well ********. So much for not saying anything stupid.

Rhona’s laugh leapt from her lips unbidden as she set a plate at Lavender’s vacated seat. She glanced her direction as she spoke, watching as she took a still warm bun from the tray. Did she like mince? It was a bit of an acquired taste… maybe Rhona should look into some hebrew flavors if Lavender was going to be eating her bakes. All she really knew was honey stuff. And that might not have even be right because she may or may not have learned that from Rugrats. With Lavender’s back turned to her, Rhona let her eyes linger for a moment longer than she maybe should have. After a moment of watching, she could feel shame and the slightest feeling of regret cast her eye downward.
No Rhona Lee. She promised you friendship, nothing more. No matter what she does, no matter what she says. Don’t read more into than she offered you. It wouldn’t be fair. Not to mention the disaster that it would no doubt lead to… but then she noticed what Lavender had brought for them… tamales. Like that hot summer night when they had met for dinner before. Tamales and wine. Was that intentional? Was it just a coincidence? Did Lavender just really like tamales? That was probably the more likely of the two. Don’t read into it Rhona Lee.

Rhona turned her eyes with a slightly smaller smile back to her table and laid out utensils, listening to her visitor speaking while she nodded.

“Ah, yep. That would explain that. She get a little talkative when she’s hungry. When it’s really bad she quotes classic movie franchises too.” She finished the table at long last as Lavender sat back down with napkins and she finally sat down herself.

“New Years?” The date came out as a question mostly because she thought she had more time to figure out what she was doing. Nope. She checked her watch and sure enough it was in less time than she had expected. Well s**t.

“Um, I guess I’m not really doing anything. Working, I suppose, on the church and on my quota. I was going to try and see if I can find another Mirrorspace crystal… word has it Mirrorspace is spitting them out now. But…” She watched Lavender stretch out her hands for her and for an instant wondered what she should do. Take them or not but… it just seemed like to not would be rude. Rhona lightly took Lavender’s hands in her own, marvelling at the softness of the skin against her own rough hands, and continued, “spending the night with you sounds like a lot more fun, to be honest.” Wandering aimlessly along the ever-changing halls of Mirrorspace by herself did seem… sad… even before she said it out loud. “Either place works for me.”

“Well, what else was I going to do, spend it with my folks and brother?” The mirth in Rhona’s voice didn’t reach her eyes. She’d been faced with the reality of her corruption at least daily since she actually did the deed, and while she never regretted it, not even for a moment, she did miss her family. She regretted doing what she had done to them. Still, it was done, and her parents were slowly, finally, healing. They were sleeping in the same room again. The talk of divorce hadn’t passed either of their lips over their pillows or at the dinner table. Things were… they were fine. And as long as she didn’t see Misha in the obituaries, she was fine with that too. So she sighed, squeezed Lavender’s hands back, and let the very real smile finally reach her eyes. She corrupted to keep them safe. To better serve them. That was it.

“And wallowing is a very strong word anyway, I was thinking more like… spending New Years repressing my emotions in Mirrorspace. Sounds manlier.” She laughed despite herself and then shrugged, the sound dying on her lips.

“I dunno, I spend almost all major holidays by myself. The only exception was that this year a good friend of mine Elex Yorke happened by and we had something simple for Thanksgiving.” She gave another dismissive shrug and was about to say something else when Lavender kissed her hands. Her face flushed again and while her whole body warmed, there was still that frozen sun that she had swallowed so many months ago still curled up and shivering within her core and it raised its head in that moment. The flush died away to a pallor several shades lighter than her own admittedly ghostly complexion and she sighed. What were the words for this feeling? This sickening mixture of hope and fear? She wanted to both pull her hands back and wring them against her chest and keep them right where they were.

“I’ll admit, the makeover and the booze sound great… Might even be fun to try the makeup when we’re tipsy but…” Words… Where were they? Though it was bright outside and she was in her apartment, Rhona cast her eyes up, muscles trained on where to look for her star. Silence that stretched out made Lavender nervous, she could sense that from the other times they had spoken. So Rhona worked her mind overtime and condensed her reflective silence to an instant before she spoke again, her voice even but straining excitedly against her white-knuckled control of it.

“I want to start over, Lavender. Not pick back up.” And that means communicating. And here Rhona was. Communicating. “So, at midnight, when we kiss, I want it to be a promise that we make to each other. That we’ll be careful and smart this time. That we’ll talk and tell each other when we’re being messed up and hurtful. Does that… am I making sense? I know that was melodramatic but… think of it like… New year, new us, you know? New leaf. New chances. A new relationship. Okay?”

Please have done alright. Please have found the right words. Rhona’s hands tightened around Lavender’s in her worry and her brow knitted tightly over her eyes. She wasn’t… famous… for speaking clearly. Hopefully this was the one time that her words were right…
And hopefully she didn’t read too much into things.

Wait… had she read things wrong? Rhona glanced her hands own hands, still gripped in Lavender’s. The backs of those hands still felt warm from Lavender’s kiss. The thought of kissing her on New Years was still fresh in her mind, despite the swirling confusion in her head. Was it too late to back out of the whole conversation? Probably. Too late now, just press on. Tighten your grip on your words, Rhona Lee. Keep control of your voice. Steady and even. Don’t worry that your eyes are too hot. Nevermind the crushing disappointment that you feel in your gut. Swallow that frozen sun back down.

“Sorry, I thought… I mean between the kissing and the… promise of kissing… did I… read that wrong?” No. There was no possible way that Rhona had read that wrong. It was there in plain text. As black and white as it could have been without Lavender literally coming out and saying that she wanted to get back together. And then, under all of that, was the aching memory of their meeting at the cafe eons ago that had seemed really… final. The ache rose to the surface and turned Rhona’s expression painfully and she had to work harder to keep her voice steady not from excitement, but from the dull ache in her chest.

“Lav… did you forget what happened in the cafe that day,” she asked quietly, her grip finally lightening on Lavender’s hands because remembering hurt too much to bear. “You said that you didn’t need me. You told me to figure things out on my own and then you left me. I tried to make it right and apologize and ask how to make it better and I went about it all the wrong ways and hurt you more and you said some… terrible things. And I don’t hold it against you, you were… might still be… really furious with me, and I like I said then and remain certain of now, it’s justified. But I didn’t came after you after that meeting because it sounded and awful lot like you didn’t want to hear from me again. So no… I guess I didn’t know that you never wanted to break up. It seemed like that was exactly what you wanted when we parted ways at the cafe. And then at the Botanical Gardens… that was a… fiasco and a half… again, my fault…”

What did she want? Rhona wanted to not walk on eggshells anymore. When it was polite conversation and flirting, they were excellent together. They were sweet and charming and awkward but… when the ugliness between them so long ignored raised its head… Rhona’s nerves shorted out and arced currents across her skin like livewires.

“Oh, Lavender. Of course I still wanted you. That’s why I came to you are the Botanical Gardens when you called. I will always come when you call, Lav. But I want to leave the person that I used to be behind, leave whatever was said or not said… done or not done behind. I want to start fresh, Lav. And we’ll take it at a pace that suits us best. If that means that we start as friends because that’s where we’re both comfortable, then so be it. But if we take things faster, then that’s great too. Hell, if we are more comfortable being friends with benefits, then I’m fine with that too. I just… I want you in my life, Lavender. No matter what role you take. Girlfriend, friend, teammate. As long as you’re there. And I don’t want to worry about the ugly things that happened between us anymore. That’s what I meant by… start over. A new relationship, in whatever form it takes. Is that… is that alright?”

Lavender pulled her hand away and Rhona backtracked over what she had said over the last few moments. Oh jesus christ how had what she said gone so wrong? She had thought that it was the right thing to say… it was what she felt. And when Lavender asked what she wanted, Rhona had told her that she wanted a fresh start… was that wrong? Did Lav want to hash out what happened, clear the air and then go from there? Rhona could do that. She could do anything. She was Rhona Lee, and she started from nothing and built a life for herself from the dirt.

She could fix this.

Rhona rose to her feet as Lavender did, her hands still extended as though she could catch her from across the table. Lavender pitched and wove and Rhona was right there, trying to guide her where she needed to be. The Bathroom? Lavender only made it as far as the trashcan and Rhona carefully gathered the long portion of Lavender’s hair in her own hand and held it out of the way. With her free hand, Rhona risked further physical contact. Since Lavender was upset that Rhona hadn’t come for her twice now, she was not about to make it a third time. Rhona flattened her hand against Lavender’s back and rubbed in slow, soothing circles. Had she triggered this reaction? The events seemed to line up… everything was fine and then Rhona started talking and Lavender pulled away and now this… Now wasn’t the time to reflect on that, though. Lavender heaved and Rhona muttered comforting things to her, still rubbing comforting circles around her back.

“It’s alright, Lav. I’m here. Don’t worry about anything except getting whatever is making you sick out…”

Once she was done, Rhona continued her ministrations for a moment longer, following Lavender to the floor to kneel behind her. Only after a moment did she leave her, quickly retrieving a cloth towel from the drawer and wetting it with cool water. She did the same with a paper towel on her way back. She returned to kneel next to Lavender and began carefully cleaning her face of whatever sick might have clung to her face.

“Sorry for what, the involuntary reaction of your body? Lav, you have nothing to be sorry about. I just want to make sure that you’re alright,” she cooed, tossing the cleaning towel away. She carefully folded the cloth and pressed it to her forehead.

“Sorry about your concealer… I know that you use it on your forehead… I mean… that sounded creepy… I mean, you said you did… in your… videos… I’m just sorry that I might be ruining your base now… that’s what it’s called, right? Foundation, powder, concealer… it’s called a base right?”

Rhona, stop babbling.

“Do you want some water? Maybe some ginger ale to settle things?”