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 Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 9:13 am
Quote: Heavy snow had plagued Destiny City for a few days and it seemed to take ages for the clouds to clear. When they finally thinned, there was something more surprising than just the night sky: a glorious display of colorful light danced over Destiny City. A myriad of colors paint the sky, twisting colorfully. Auroras are uncommon in this area, but it’s something unique to see. Of course, ‘unique’ in Destiny City isn’t always a good thing…
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 9:24 am
Eight months and twenty five days later, Eternal Sailor Thrymr's feet landed on a quiet side street in Destiny City.
It had not changed much, except that everything had changed. A layer of snow covered the grass and the roads, and it was still falling, a gentle and quiet rustling around him. It was in an older part of the city, where the buildings were clustered together and all the shop fronts were old fashioned, street lamps giving off a warm, golden glow. Strands of twinkling, colorful Christmas lights were strung between them, and there was the faint sound of music coming from somewhere nearby.
Everything was closed. It was a silent place to be, everything looking as though it had simply been frozen in time, store windows darkened, and lamps soft in the late night air. Thrymr's breath was visible in front of him as he stood there, unmoving, just to take it all in again.
He'd forgotten how cold it could be. How fragile it all felt.
Beside him, Pasha was equally as still, ever obedient. Thrymr's fingers curled around the leather leash attached to her harness pulling just a little, a low click escaping, and she moved instinctively to follow the command, sitting back on her haunches to wait.
He didn't know what he was waiting for, except that it was...something.
Overhead, the sky was painted a vivid dark blue, spattered with stars and streaked with a glorious, fantastical display of purples and pinks and greens, shimmering slightly. It reminded Thrymr of - well, Thrymr, albeit in different shades. And the aurora was still missing from his homeworld, something he had not yet managed to fix, or even understand why it was missing in the first place.
It made him feel a little breathless, standing here, after all this time. Not even a full year had passed, but it felt like an entire lifetime lay between those nine months. His hair had grown, falling mid-back now, in a loose braid that was draped over one shoulder, and he'd filled out a little more, had gained a little weight so that his usual slender build was now more wiry and limber, less delicate. Perhaps, over the years, he'd grown an inch or two, but it was hard to tell with the heels of his boots.
His hand lowered, fingers moving absently over Pasha's head, sifting through soft fur.
"We're back," said Thrymr quietly. "Bienvenue à la maison, Pasha."
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 10:11 am
Beautiful above him, the strange auroras filling the Destiny City sky. It made him unutterably sad to see for it reminded him of two that he'd held close to his heart, both of whom had skipped out and left. One with a note, one with nothing for months. It had hurt, had broken his heart all over again, reopening the very wounds that they had helped to heal, and he'd began to think that the problem lay within the only common factor: himself. But there was no denying the beauty of the unique display, nor the fact that such things happening often lauded peril or strange goings on, which was why he had powered up to patrol and see if there was anything to be discovered, taking a break to ruminate. So now Eternal Aegir sat, legs dangling over the edge of a skyscraper as he leaned back to watch the glorious riot of colourful light above him with a mixture of pain, regret, and curiousity. And then he felt it. Another eternal senshi's aura, only it was also somewhat familiar. Tickling at his memory, but nothing he could pinpoint. Worth looking into, certainly, especially with the heavenly display, so he slid down the glass a bit more, hanging somewhat off an antenna before leaping into the night light flying. His return to less lofty heights was simply a careful reverse from object to building to perch, until he was at something less likely to cause damage when performing a ground landing. All the while, he made his way towards the signature, to the older part of the city with it's quaint storefronts and charming decorations. Closer he all but flew, until he could make out a white-clad shape with a white blur next to it - still familiar, still tickling, but still not quite clicking into place. Aegir dropped from rooftops to street level a block away, finally able to make out precisely whom he'd been drawn to, eyes widening in shock. Thyrmr. Emotions surged through Aegir and he started forward as the first was relief and joy, hand outstretched as to welcome the wayward senshi home. He made it all the way to Thyrmr, whereupon he threw his arms around the other senshi, lifting him off his feet and spinning him around. "Oh my god-- you're okay! You're alive--" Relief flooded his voice, and then he suddenly set Thyrmr back down, leaning back and narrowing his eyes at him, expression stormy. "A note!?" Aegir raised a hand as though to slap him, but then stopped himself and stepped back so he could cross his arms over his chest, mostly so he didn't give into the temptation. "You ******** off for an unknown amount of time and you give me a note? After ignoring me for how many ******** months before that?" To say that Aegir was pissed would have been a slight understatement, he was absolutely livid. Nostrils flaring, colour-high, jaw-clenching livid.
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 12:42 pm
He wasn't sure where he was supposed to go from here.
In all of his planning, all of his carefully constructed, carefully organized details, Thrymr had not put together possible housing arrangements, mostly because he had not even known when it was that he would be coming back. It felt fruitless to try and figure out the logistics of one's living situation when one wasn't even sure of the outcome. And by now, Nadia likely would have found an new roommate, or perhaps moved in with Lorne, or Colin; the chances of their shared place still being available were slim to none.
Besides, he couldn't go back there. He couldn't - and wasn't sure if he was even capable of it - show his face to them - any of them - again after taking off. Thrymr was all too aware of just how badly he had screwed things up. He'd left only a note, and then he'd gone.
He'd needed to go, but it didn't make the decision any better, or the choice any easier.
Thrymr eased out a breath that was visible in front of him and felt, oddly, the stirrings of a power signature nearby. It felt as strong as his own, strangely...warm. Warm and familiar in a way he couldn't quite understand, and made him a little uneasy. It was, at least, Order; there were no Chaos strands running through it, no blackened, twisting sensation that would take over Thrymr's heart the way it had already, the way he had spent months trying to forget.
He felt the aura move closer, heard the footsteps pounding - Thrymr turned his head -
The first thought should not have been no. The first thought should have been elation, joy, the thrill of a reunion he had long anticipated - and feared - for the last nine months. But this was not what he had planned; this was not what he had expected, he wasn't ready, his heart was not prepared to see the golden haired, green eyed prince that he had thought about continuously for so long, for so many reasons.
Strong, muscular arms were suddenly around him, and Thrymr found himself airborne with a gasp of surprise, his heart heaving. He'd dropped Pasha's leash, but she was too well behaved to run away, and instead gave a bark of joy, snow on the tip of her nose.
And for one, small, blissful moment, there was nothing but this. The familiarity and the warmth and the sense of belonging that Thrymr had yearned for his entire life. It was here, and he was safe, and it was what he had dreamt of.
And then it was gone.
The cold pulsed between them, Thrymr's chest rising and falling with an effort to get air into his lungs. He knelt, slowly, to retrieve Pasha's leash again, not flinching under the half attempted slap - because he knew it had been a slap, and because he knew he deserved it.
"...Aegir," he said, quietly, and the name felt like too much to say it aloud. His blue eyes flickered up to meet his.
"I didn't....I didn't expect to meet you here."
It was the wrong thing to say, and he knew it, but his mind seemed to have frozen solid in the cold.
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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 3:20 pm
It seemed that all Thyrmr had to say after the length of time it took to gestate another human life properly was inane garbage, like he couldn't be arsed to even defend himself. And the way he flinched from the near slap - as though Aegir had ever hit him in anger, as though he were some abusive ex-boyfriend or would become that - was really icing on the 'I don't know you at all' cake. Yes, Colin had a temper. A bad one, sometimes. Yes, he wanted to strike out, but he was enough of an adult to not do that straight off. Snow fell into his hair, catching on his costume and even his eyelashes as he looked down on the other senshi, "So. Did you purposefully chose the most hurtful way to tell me you were leaving, or were you just being a careless a*****e?" There was no warmth in his tone, at all. Nothing of forgiveness or the softer welcome that had started the encounter, only the sharp coldness of one wronged greatly on multiple levels that wasn't taking that s**t kindly. None of the team would have seen much of this side of Aegir before, it was not a side he showed easily, nor often, and certainly not this clearly. He preferred positive reinforcement and support, generally. This harder, harsher side that had grown even colder over the last two years, crystallizing with each slight and hurt, with each betrayal - professional, powered, private - until this was the result. An Aegir without his usual smiles, golden brows drawn forward in ire, every line of his body speaking plainly the language displeasure. An angry prince addressed Thyrmr again, "No, I don't ******** suppose you did. Did you even plan on oh, I don't know... telling me you'd gotten back? Me, Aegir, leader of Ouroboros." "Or were you just hoping to slip in as quietly as you slipped out, not tell anybody? Did you bother thinking it out, at all, Thyrmr?"
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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 8:19 pm
There was a part of Thrymr that couldn't help drinking in the sight of Aegir. Warm, golden, and glowing, as he always was; a prince standing in the snow, just as beautiful and just as impressive and wonderful as Thrymr had always believed him to be, had always thought him to be. There was no one in this world that had ever compared to Aegir, no one in this world who could even come close to having done for him what Aegir had.
The rest of him was all too aware that the warmth had now exploded into a blazing inferno of fury and hurt and betrayal that scorched Thrymr's heart. Beside him, Pasha leaned against his leg; recognition meant that she was pleased to see a familiar face, but obedience and training meant that she could tell when her master needed her.
What have I done?
He knew what he'd done. He'd left.
He'd left, and he couldn't change that.
So.Did you purposefully choose the most hurtful way to tell me you were leaving, or were you just being a careless a*****e?
It hurt, more than he could have predicted, though it wasn't unexpected. Thrymr felt cold from more than just the snow, felt like his insides were liquefying with the understanding and the realization that this furious, bitter side of Aegir was directed at him, and not at anyone else. He'd known that it was coming, but it didn't stop the ache, and it didn't stop the pain from rising, thick in his throat, making it hard to breathe.
"No," said Thrymr quietly. "I had planned on telling you that I was back. I didn't know when I was coming back, but you...were the first person I was going to look for, when I was...ready. When I could face you again."
He closed his eyes. Memories burned into him, flickered across his vision - of Ahe's screaming pain, of his own burning heart, of everything that he had been able to lose himself to, and everything that he had not been able to forget, even after all this time. When he opened them again, his expression was weary, new, tired lines around his eyes, lacking any of his usual cheerful, sparkling personality.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled for real.
"I'm sorry," Thrymr said softly, and it was genuine, pulled somewhere from the depths of his aching heart. "I'm sorry, Aegir. I know I hurt you. I know I left you. And I'm sorry. I'm not sorry that I had to leave, but I'm...so sorry that I left the way I did. Truly, Aegir, I'm sorry."
He knew it would take more than that. He knew there was a chance that Aegir would never forgive him, had known that from the first time he'd set foot on his homeworld all those months ago. And he knew that it would hurt, and that he would quite possibly lose Aegir.
The thought burned, scorching.
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Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2017 10:25 pm
It was so much more than simply having left. Thyrmr neatly side-stepped answering why he'd chosen to use a note to tell Colin he was leaving, instead of telling him to his face, despite having known the story behind how devastating and hurtful it had been when Björn had done it before. It was almost as though Thyrmr was once again telling Aegir that he didn't deserve an answer, and it made his nostrils flare and his stance get even more drawn up and angry, arms going to both sides with hands drawn into tight fists so that the nails made painful crescents through fabric and flesh. The pain was clarifying. Quiet words. Placation. 'When I could face you again.' Thyrmr looked sad, in pain. Weary. Aegir wanted none of it. This man had wronged him twice! Treated him like some disposable garbage or fair-weather friend, refused to give him any sort of explanation as to why, and then returned with what amounted to sputtering and evasion. There was no kindness in the senshi of silence's expression as he stood, listening. "We - I deserved better from you." He hissed the words, as cutting as he'd ever been to an enemy - or worse, for this was fueled by genuine hurts and not simply a war of faction. "You owe the team an apology. You owe all of us one." Slowly, Aegir unfurled his aching fingers from the gouged places in his palms; blood welled slowly and dropped bright spatter to decorate the snow. "You--" No. No. He's not sorry about how he ******** left. He's sorry I'm upset about it and now he has to deal with it. He didn't stay on Thyrmr wondering if I was going to be utterly shattered by another go-round of dumped-by-note. No, pretty sure you're only sorry that I'm calling to task on it. "I'm sure you're feeling very sorry right now. Because I'm right here, pissed as all ******** if I weren't? Would you be sorry you left using notes? I doubt it, or you wouldn't have chosen that route in the first place. The most...cowardly...hurtful way you could have managed, short of just not saying anything--" Here the senshi glared, "--which, is what you did when you were off for almost half a year before you left for Thyrmr." Aegir's bloody hands went to his hips, "Thanks, but it's just so much more than you just leaving Thyrmr. That's not even the half of it."
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Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:20 pm
It was a terrible thing, to be under this wrath.
Beside Thrymr, Pasha stood still and silent, still leaning against his leg. She had not moved at all, had not even flinched back at the tirade of anger and pain and frustration that had spilled from Aegir's lips, had done nothing but stand there, a warm and familiar weight against him, a reminder that she was there, that he could have her when he needed her.
He had never needed her more.
And they say that animals have no souls. What rubbish.
Every word was like a blade against his skin, cutting the marks deeper and deeper. Thrymr stood under them, his heart, not breaking, but slowly shattering, as though there was a fist around it, slowly crushing it into smaller and smaller pieces, each one dropping to the ground and splintering on impact, until there was nothing but dust left behind.
He would have no way of putting the pieces back together. And he would not and could not say that he did not deserve this, because if there was anything that Thrymr did deserve, it was this. It was Aegir's hurt and Aegir's anger and Aegir's betrayal, because Thrymr had no defense against any of it, no reason, no explanation for his own actions except that he'd thought what he'd done had been the right choice.
But even if it was - the methods had been wrong. It was a flimsy, pathetic, insulting thing to even consider that he could explain it away so easily, and they both knew it. Thrymr had not taken into consideration anything that Aegir could have felt, and now it was broken.
He had to face the consequences of that. This was what he had done, he would face up to it.
He'd tried to keep it together. It wasn't working, Thrymr's face steadily getting redder the more the world around him seemed to crash and burn. He took a small breath as though to steady himself, and felt the pain of it, like trying to inhale smoke, lungs working hard.
"No, I - "
That wasn't right. Thrymr felt the words choke like splinters of glass in his throat.
"You're right," he said, and regardless of everything, Thrymr was not and never had been a liar, every word ringing with truth, in spite of how painful and how agonizing he had made it. "You're right, I left you alone, I betrayed your trust, and I hurt you. I broke this, and I thought only of myself, and my own feelings, and I...am so, so very sorry, Aegir."
It was difficult to get the words out. Thrymr felt himself stumbling over them, dragging in another breath, one hand resting atop Pasha's head as though to ground himself. He did not want pity, did not expect it, or forgiveness, or any sort of relief from this, scarlet drops of blood dancing in his eyes.
"I'm sorry. Everything you said is the truth. I left you, and I betrayed you, and I cannot expect you to forgive me for it."
Not a plea, not a cry for anything. A fact, a truth, simple and clear.
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Posted: Sun Feb 25, 2018 3:17 am
It was hard to stop the stream that threatened to spill forth as a deluge, a year's worth of emotions and words he'd held tightly checked like a choke-chain on a vicious dog; once started Aegir found halting the built-up tsunami of hurt was as difficult as avoiding his eternal magic would have been for an agent of Metallia.
Pasha leaning against her master's white costume pant leg was the thing that kept the blond's temper in check, not any lingering care he might have had for Thyrmr. Being ignored for half a year had been bruising, awful. The betrayal after that had done well at severing the remaining affection until all that could exist in it's vacuum was anger and hurt.
Above the two eternals, the sky was beautiful. The air snapped with the ugly thing that had become swollen as the void between them grew until it was almost a palpable thing: Aegir's anger. Thyrmr's distress. It hung heavy between them, weightier than gravity and as cloying as the perfume counter of a department store at Christmas.
"Good." He hissed, "Because I don't. I don't know that I can ever forgive this. I know I can't trust you." Aegir's face was red, but he was in no danger of crying; he'd done all his crying, months ago and he had nothing left. Not for that, not when there were so many more important things to consider...like surviving the war.
"Not as a civilian." Even angry, he wasn't going to compromise his civilian identity, just in case. There weren't any chaotic auras near enough that they would have heard, but one could never be too cautious. The Negaverse was always coming up with new and 'exciting' things. "Not as Thyrmr, either. Not with how careless you've been." Suddenly, Aegir sounded tired, not deflated or as though he had forgotten with whom he were speaking, but as though he were exhausted.
Wind kicked snow up around their ankles, the spicules hitting his boots with a soft scraping sound that the senshi of silence found oddly comforting as he tried to focus himself away from his unproductive anger and towards the things he should be more focused on as team captain. One of their own had returned and probably didn't have anywhere to go - because of course Nadia was in Russia, wasn't she? - and he wouldn't have known. No matter how angry he was, leaving Auguste and Pasha out in the dead of winter was inhumane.
Long moments stretched before the senshi managed to speak again, tone clipped and business-like: the one he used when he was forced to attend a function at work he really didn't feel like going to. "Do you have somewhere to stay now you're back?"
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Posted: Sat May 26, 2018 6:32 pm
Something inside of him felt fractured. He knew, somewhere in the back of his heart, that he had lost this; that he had lost Aegir, and no amount of apologies or excuses or attempts to make it right could ever make up for the gaping hole that now lay between them.
Thrymr had tried to find himself, and instead, he had lost everything else.
It felt...hollow. He felt hollow. The momentary flash of warmth and familiarity that had stemmed from that single, blinding embrace had ebbed away, replaced only by a sense of frigid loss, Aegir's expression giving nothing, all hard lines and sharp edges that Thrymr didn't dare test with any words.
He didn't have any, anyway.
I still love you, he wanted to say, but that was infinitely worse. That made what he had done all the more terrible. He had had a chance for something more; for a family, for a lifetime, for some place where he had belonged, and now...
Now he was left with the shambles of his failures littered at his feet. It wasn't so much self pity as it was weary and brokenhearted loss. Thrymr took a deep breath, reaching out a hand, fingers stroking over the top of Pasha's head with gentle, absent care. If she had been a cat, she might have purred, but instead she just leaned against his leg, a solid warmth in the cold night air.
"No," said Thrymr, which was the truth. He did not have a home anymore. "I thought I might get...a room somewhere."
If he'd had money, which he supposed he did, somewhere, but getting to it would be a hassle. It would be less of a hassle, however, than imposing himself on someone who clearly did not want to see him - and who Thrymr did not want to hurt any more than he already had.
"I'll find somewhere," he said quietly.
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Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:46 am
Thyrmr's silence was as damning as his words.
It was as though his actions were stating that either Aegir didn't hold enough value to him to bother, or that Thyrmr himself was viewing the blond as a villian in this - rather than the victim. Either way, it was a grotesquery and Aegir was having none of it.
Even the way that the other eternal senshi petted Pasha seemed a coded message to the curly-haired man with the sharply downturned tilt of his mouth. Seemed to be asking him why he was not being obedient and loving like the dog was, why he was not simply welcoming Thyrmr back and absolving him of his sins. Why was Aegir making such a fuss and punishing him when he ought to be comforting Thyrmr in his time of need.
Perhaps that wasn't what the white haired senshi had intended to say, but that was what Aegir got, and it felt like betrayal, usery, and anything but love.
Bitterness washed over Aegir even as he listened to Thyrmr's equivocation to an easy question. Ridiculous. He has nothing now, no way of getting a room somewhere...does he think that badly of me? Am I that untrustworthy? When did I become unsafe, when I didn't accept being treated like s**t? Screw that s**t-- Again Aegir pursed his lips, "You have nothing set up, Methone's in Russia - and you have no idea if you can retrieve your civilian life yet."
"I will put you up in a hotel for a week while you get s**t sorted." One gloved hand went up, in case Thyrmr thought to protest or complain, "I'm your team leader, it's my job to see that you're okay...but I can't have you stay with me after all this." Each word remained flat and with that edge of exhaustion to it, but there was steel behind Aegir's tone; this was his duty. Thyrmr was a fellow senshi, one of his team, he would do right by him because that's what a leader did - and it was the least he could do for an 'old friend'.
"There's one downtown that should work...it'll even accept Pasha."
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Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 4:42 pm
He wanted to go back in time.
He wanted to go back in time and erase the hurt and anger that was obliterating everything that was currently Aegir's person. Gone was the prince that Thrymr had both revered and adored; instead was a hollowed out, bitter and loathing man that Thrymr - and more - had made him.
Something inside of him splintered, cracked, shattered.
He took a shuddering breath that hurt his throat, and for the first time since their re-meeting, Thrymr felt the burn of heat against the corners of his eyes. For a moment, his vision blurred, obscuring Aegir's hardened, cold expression, the world around Thrymr becoming muted and muddled as he blinked rapidly to try and dispel the damning tears.
He could not cry like this; he could not stand to have Aegir think that it was some sort of ploy to get him to feel sorry for him, could not bear to have any more of the hatred pushed his way even though he knew it was well deserved on so many levels. He was drowning in his emotions, twisting viciously in his chest until it felt hard to breathe, hard to think.
I can't have you stay with me.
Thrymr knew that it was true, but it still hurt. He had lost too much now. He had ruined the last, small bit of sunshine he'd had left.
He closed his eyes, just for a moment, then opened them again, still blinking, trying to keep the rest of his emotions at bay.
"Oui," he said softly, voice sliding unintentionally back into his native language, because English seemed too hard for him to recall what words went where, and in what way now. "Merci, Aegir."
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2018 8:31 pm
Whatever either of them might have wanted temporally was moot, time only moved in one direction - inexorably forward. Second by second, ticking ever onward each beat of and breath in lung.
Aegir watched dispassionately as Thyrmr's eyes, damp already, swam and threatened to spill over. To his teammate's credit, the tears might have eaked out, but they didn't torrent; there was no great bout of sobbing - no blubbering apologys or whining.
Thyrmr simply accepted that this was now ground zero - from here would any new relationship between them have to start.
Sending senses out and finding the space blessedly blank yet, Aegir nodded. "We'll travel like this to the tower near the Arts District, drop the costumes if it's safe, and go from there." He realized that Thyrmr was probably completely overwhelmed and reached his hand out as he had so many times before. He was hurt and he was much harder a person than he had been, but he was still Colin at the heart of it all. This too he could offer, "Come on, let's get going."
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