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 Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2017 9:47 pm
She shifted the thermos in her hand, breathing in the rich smell of hot chocolate from the container. Bifrost's uniform offered her some protection from the elements; what fabric or leather could not cover, the magic covered the rest. Not to say that she was completely immune to the cold; she still felt it and kept a blanket with her for that reason.
Winter was coming to Destiny City, bathing her home in a layer of white and the colors of the holiday season. Faint Christmas music floated up from the shops several floors below her perch - a small covered portion of the roof that was mostly free of snow - and it made her smile faintly. Bifrost enjoyed the holidays, though these days she was always a little apprehensive something was going to go disastrously wrong. The holidays - New Years specifically - seemed to have that effect on the city.
She quietly sipped at her hot cocoa and settled in for another quiet night watching as the sun began to set. Whether it was her overwhelmingly Order presence or her choice of time, Bifrost was left well enough alone most of the time. She liked the solitude, though it left her alone with her thoughts far too often.
Leaving her with her thoughts was never a good idea.kuropeco chronos frands times yes??
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 12:33 pm
It had been a long time.
The Chronos knights would always be a matter of importance to Celsus. For almost seven years now he had prided himself on being a part of them, of pledging himself to their princess, of knowing that he was a part of something larger, something precious. And for a good amount of that time he had also wondered whether or not he was truly worthy to be one of them, whether or not he had been a mistake.
Sometimes he still wondered that, in all honesty. But life and his oath had changed the perspective, slowly but steadily, until he was safe in the knowledge that this was who - and what - he was supposed to be. It sometimes still felt as though he should have Aurelius here with him, but his ancestor was gone now, returned to the cauldron he was meant to be seen to.
The Chronos knights weren't as active as they had once been, but there were still those around. There were still those, such as Celsus, who had withstood the test of time and the life they had been given and were still loyal to what they had all believed.
Like Bifrost, whom Celsus had not expected to find on this cold, snowy night.
She was sitting a short distance away, thermos in hand, on top of the roof Celsus had landed silently on only seconds before. His aura would give him away; there was no need to be sneaky, and even without the aura, the jangling gold coins that made up a good portion of his uniform would alert her attention. Still; he didn't approach just yet, standing a few feet away, cape lapping gently at his ankles.
"Good evening, Bifrost."
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 7:27 pm
Be still, heart.
She hadn't registered the jingle of his uniform, but the sudden appearance of an energy signature and his voice - sweet Chronos his voice - startled Bifrost out of her moment. Her head snapped up, hood falling off to reveal blonde hair pulled into an intricate bun on the back of her head. He was here. In the flesh. Not some memory, or dream, but actually here. Alive. Well.
"Celsus..." she breathed, green eyes wide and searching his face. What she was looking for among the freckles and markings of Transcendence, she didn't know. In truth, there shouldn't be anything she needed to look for. Her... infatuation with him was one-sided and, moreover, a thing she believed she'd dealt with a year ago now.
Yet, as she felt warmth flood her cheeks and a resounding surge of relief and happiness spread through her chest, she knew it was not near dealt with enough. The knight stood, dusting snow from her cape and smiled at him, a hasty mask of joyful friendship plastered on her face.
"It's so good to see you!" She rocked, hands clasped firmly behind her back. No sense in tackling the man, even though she really, really wanted to hug him.
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 7:56 pm
She had grown since he'd last seen her, both in rank and age, since he couldn't actually recall the last time he had spoken to Bifrost. But at the core of everything, she was the same woman he had known all this time, and he knew her to be loyal and true, and that was all that was needed for a knight of Celsus.
A small smile tugged at Celsus's lips. He didn't make a move to embrace her, as he once might've; the years had not been kind and physical contact was an obstacle to be overcome that he had yet to work through. It made his hands tremble, just a little; he wanted to clasp them behind his back and didn't, instead standing there to regard her, letting his gaze move over the new - well, new to him - uniform.
"You've changed, a little," he said, and it was as warm as ever, though with a faint sense of weariness to it, as though he had forgotten how to talk. Celsus paced forward, gaze flickering around the rooftop and their surroundings, snow drifting lazily around them.
"Congratulations, Bifrost Knight of Chronos," he said. "It's a pleasure to see you as well. May I...join you?"
Just a little hesitant.
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Posted: Thu Dec 14, 2017 8:53 pm
Her smile faltered a little, concern flicking over her features for a moment. He had changed, far more than she knew. Not just the uniform and the markings, but there was a hesitation to him, a caution that had not been there previously. Bifrost wondered what had happened, what had changed him so. She pushed a smile back into her features and stepped back into her little alcove to allow him space to sit.
"A little, yes. Not as much as others," she said with a small chuckle. Bifrost patted the space next to her, tucking her legs under her as she sat back down. "Of course. And thank you; Prena was happy to return to the Cauldron finally." She kept her hands clasped together unless she was talking; for a woman who was a rather touchy person, refraining from doing so was.... difficult. Yet, she would do it.
When it came to Celsus, there wasn't much she wouldn't do to make him feel comfortable and at home.
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Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 9:04 am
He came towards where she had indicated he should sit and folded himself onto the space beside her, tucking his cape around himself, draping the tail ends over his legs to keep from sitting on it. It was cold outside, breath visible in the dark air; out of instinct, he kept a certain amount of space between them, though not enough to make it seem rude.
"I'm pleased to hear that Prena is at peace now," said Celsus, offering Bifrost a small smile, faint on his lips as he turned his head to regard her. She looked - well, older, perhaps, was a word, but...different. More mature, more as though she was entirely capable of handling things without him. Not that she'd ever needed him in the the first place; Bifrost had always been a fierce, capable soul entirely on her own.
After a moment, he said, "Aurelius, my ancestor, has also passed on. It was...a little bittersweet, but I am glad for it. He's where he should be."
It still ached in his chest, the thought of his ancestor being gone. The wonder at Celsus seemed almost too empty now, all grand and impressive rooms without the soul that had inhabited them for so long. For six years, it had been the two of them, and now it was just Celsus.
It felt bizarre and unsteadying and right and anxious all at the same time. Celsus cast another look at Bifrost.
"Tell me of your life recently. It's been so long, I don't know how things are for you right now."
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Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 9:39 pm
"Yes... it was sad to see her go, but it's what's best. She.... I saw where she died - how she died..." Bifrost trailed off for a moment and sipped her cocoa. "Prena, in her tenure as the Gatekeeper, fell in love with a handmaiden of the Chronos soldiers. When Chaos attacked the Surrounding, she took her to the deepest part of the wonder - a small outcropping all but floating in space - and tried to protect her there. She died there, among the stars." She fell silent, looking up at the darkening sky to let it sort of settle in the air for a moment. He asked her to tell her how she'd been, and there was... a lot to get through.
"Before I transcended and became a knight, I visited my parents' house. Half the house had burned down, and there had been signs of an altercation with youma. Authorities said they died in the fire, started from the stove and a domestic incident between my parents. From what I found... my mother pissed off the wrong sorts of people.
"I also found that she murdered my grandfather, which led to a sort of... mental block in my head. The trauma of seeing him killed, and all." Way to start with the real heavy stuff, Bifrost. She gave an apologetic smile at the tone of the conversation.
"That aside... Things are... quiet. I live with my grandmother, tend to my Wonder twice a week. I fell through a mirror and into a weird mirror realm a few months ago, and I've been working with Midgard lately." Working with, hanging out with, you know, the same thing. It felt weird to admit she'd been hanging out with another person - much less a guy - but at the same time, she had to remind herself that it shouldn't matter. She wasn't...
Regardless, it didn't matter. She was just hung up on him, and that was that.
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 6:02 am
A part of him longed for the old Celsus; the one that would have been able to offer comfort or reassurance with an arm around a shoulder or a simple embrace or a squeeze of the fingers. But the other part of him didn't want to face that, or think about it, or consider what had been, only look at what was, now.
Celsus listened silently, his fingers moving idly, calmly stroking over one of his Chronos medallions.The air felt heavy, thick with unspoken emotions, but he could feel the weight of everything that had happened to Bifrost beginning to settle onto them both.
And where, exactly, had he been during all this time where she had perhaps needed a friend?
The oath mark on his neck gave a twinge, a warning throb. Celsus stiffened, then relaxed back again, and after a moment, he said quietly, "I'm sorry, Bifrost. Nothing could have prepared you for any of that, and there isn't much else I can say or do, but...I am sorry, that you had to go through all of that."
His heart ached a little. The Chronos knights had always been important to him, always been a source of pride and comfort and joy. He had spent most of the last six years building up a foundation to stand on with them all, and then he had let his own problems get in the way of continuing on that path. He had let himself drown in the bleakness and blackness of inadequacy and insecurities and anxiety.
He still did, sometimes. It was growing easier, little by little, day by day, to start unlearning all that he had unconsciously taught himself.
Celsus didn't recognize the name Midgard, but he said, after a moment of silence had passed, "And I'm sorry I haven't...been around as much. Things became a little..." A pause, and then he continued. "Well, as it stands, I'm afraid you've had to deal with much on your own, and I'm sorry for that."
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Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 6:03 pm
Bifrost smiled, ultimately shaking her head. "My mother... was a b***h. She wanted me to be the perfect daughter, in her own image, and I just could not do it. I felt no remorse for her death." It was true; she felt no remorse, and almost felt happy to be free of her. Her father's death was... regrettable, but he no longer was her shield anyway.
Her smile brightened a genuine feeling of 'hope' coloring her features. "I understand, Celsus. The Chronos Knights, as a whole, don't necessarily keep in contact. And you... are not responsible for my wellbeing." She trailed off a bit, biting her lip. A hand reached towards him, then retracted, tucking her hand back to her cup.
"And I did not reach out to you, either. I... spend a year or two not even powering up. And then powering up infrequently. I ran from what I was for a long time. Then I saw you being a far better knight than I, especially with the others of Chronos, and I... looked up to you, I suppose. And admired you, so I strived to be better." Bifrost felt her cheeks warm and she glanced away, trying to contain herself.
"So... I thank you, despite your life taking you on a different path from me," said Bifrost, smiling at him with a little nod of her head.
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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2017 7:14 pm
He winced a little, but more out of concern for Bifrost than anything else. It was disheartening to learn that anyone's parents could be so cruel and heartless, but it was even more disheartening to know that Bifrost had spent so long trying to live with it.
"Perhaps not," Celsus allowed, his eyes flickering over the Chronos medallion he still wore around his neck. His thumb traced the sigil on the front of it, feeling the grooves in the metal. "But I still care very deeply about how you're all faring; there's little I can do in the way of some things, but I should have been better at making sure that you're all taken care of."
He wasn't their captain - that had been Virgo - and he wasn't in charge of anything or anyone - but it didn't stop him from having a lingering sense of mingled responsibility and shame. Celsus had once prided himself on being able to guide those who were in Chronos, or those who were new to knighthood; and, in some respects, he had failed.
But in some, he had also persevered.
Celsus lifted his head, turning to look at Bifrost, her reddened cheeks. A hand rose, and, very gently, very lightly, he took hold of one of Bifrost's and brought it to his lips for a butterfly light kiss, barely there, but still felt. It was a remnant of his former self; only a vague shadow of the friendly affection he had once shown all of the people had been close to, and while he drew away almost immediately, his stomach fluttering painfully at the contact, he managed to do so without his own fingers shaking.
"You are too kind, Bifrost," said Celsus quietly, his hands folding together in his lap. "I am...proud to see how you have grown into your own knighthood. You don't need me to guide you anymore, but perhaps you never did. You are entirely capable on your own, and that is truly remarkable."
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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2017 3:45 pm
Holy Chronos!
If her cheeks were just pink before, they were bright red now. She felt hot all over and she stared at him wide-eyed as he released her hand. Bifrost almost felt faint, until she remembered to breathe again. Feelings rattled around in her head and now she was more confused than ever. Was it just a friendly kiss on the hand? Did friends even kiss on the hand!? Did that mean he understood what she couldn't say? Did he even remotely feel the same way?! What did it all mean?!
Bifrost sucked in a breath of air. She'd forgotten to breathe again.
"I... I...." The knight was at a loss for words. She may not need him to guide her, but she wanted him in her life. She wanted him around. She desperately wanted to see him smile again. Her eyes searched his, trying to glean something, anything, out of his face.
The thermos clattered to the rooftop.
The space between them shrank as she came as close as she dared - probably far closer than Celsus wanted her - and she clenched her hands against her chest. Tears began to roll down her cheeks, whether from an overload of emotions or the ache of her heart.
"I really... really like you, Celsus, and I want you around, and I really enjoy your presence, and I really care about you so... so..... please, please smile again!"
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Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2017 8:30 pm
It had been a long time since he had seen her, and she had changed and yet hadn't all at once. She was still the same bright eyed, confident, intelligent Bifrost he had first met all those long years ago. She still carried herself the same, albeit with more strength now, and a certain quiet sadness that seemed to be buried just underneath the surface.
He knew that sadness all too well. And he was not the same as he had been all that time ago. Memories of what once were, of what had been, of all the times he could have been better, of all the years that he had spent working towards becoming a better person, a better leader, a better friend, only to have them fall apart in his hands.
Like carrying sand, Celsus thought.
She was too close, but he did not push her away. It would have been rude, in spite of the fact that the invasion of his space did little to ease the ache in his chest, the instinctive tremor of uneasiness running through him. The Chronos knights were special; they would always be in his heart, no matter how long passed between them, no matter how lives changed or disappeared or became separated, they would always be at the center of his heart. It was, irreparably and unmistakably, a part of a home inside of him that he could not change, in spite of all the times he had thought he wasn't worthy of them.
His lips curved, just a little; almost a remembrance of a smile, rather than an actual one. There was something strangely bittersweet about it.
"I'll do my best, if you will as well," said Celsus, and he pushed himself slowly to his feet, cape sliding off of the bench around him as he stared up at the sky, expression shifting, a softer edge to his voice, quiet and calm. "You are quite important to me, I hope you realize this, even if..."
He trailed off. Celsus closed his eyes, his chest twisting, and then he opened them again.
"Regardless. I wish you well in all things."
A coward. That's what you are.
The oathmark burned.
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Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 12:58 am
But you do not care for me the same...
For a moment hopelessness threatened to swallow her whole. She stared at the place Celsus had been, not quite seeing, as hollowness slammed into her chest. It hurt, by the Surrounding it hurt, but had she really expected anything else? It was not like she'd been there for him when he'd gone through... whatever he'd gone through. Whatever had built the walls around him. She hadn't even bothered to check up on him! How could she hope and expect he felt anything more than friendship for her?!
Bifrost swallowed thickly, and hastily dried her eyes with her cape.
"I. No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... dumped that on you. Not when..."" She looked up at him, an apology on her face. "As it stands... I never checked up on you, I never reached out, I just... existed in my own world, and how I could I even expect or hope anything when..."
She stood, backing up to give him the space he needed. Then Bifrost of Chronos tucked her hands behind her back, a smile on her face even if it couldn't quite reach her eyes. "I have not been a good friend, and I hope, I can fix that. If you will let me."
With great effort, she forced her feelings down and away, locking them in her clasped hands. She was such a fool...
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Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2017 7:24 am
He could hear the strain in Bifrost's voice, could hear the pain in it, and it hurt somewhere deep in his chest. A rustle of cloth as he stood, and he needed to turn around and look at her, to face her, to face everything that he had not been strong enough to face before. It felt like a monumental effort; his heart was still fragile, a cage of glass with delicate, filigree strands that could shatter at any moment.
I know you. I know your heart. You will be the man you have set out to be - you already are.
Aurelius' voice, warm and affectionate, slid through Celsus' thoughts. He closed his eyes at the memory, of the familiarity, of the ache of loss and the burn of pain and the gentle sweetness of something he had long since longed for and long since given up on, because he had thought himself not worthy for so long that believing it could be anything different felt impossible.
It still felt impossible. It wasn't.
Slowly he turned around, cape rustling behind him with the movement, stray strands of moonlight casting an ethereal, silvery glow on them both. Bifrost's face was an apology, her eyes not quite matching the expression, and for a moment there was nothing but silence between them as he looked at her, his own face etched in a mixture of sadness and understanding.
"You have stood by me all these years," said Celsus quietly, and his voice was level, his heartbeat slow in his chest, calmer than he had thought he would be capable of having. "You have fought by my side, you have given me your friendship, you have offered me your loyalty even when it wasn't deserved. You have grown into a young woman that is strong and proud and beautiful and capable. I've not met anyone that could replace you in my life, and I wouldn't wish to. You are...an incredibly important person to me, and while I haven't always been the person I wish I could be, you've not given up on me. There is nothing in this world that can change that."
He lifted a hand, reached out, and let his fingers hover just beside Bifrost's face without touching her skin before lowering them again.
"I'm in love with someone."
It felt strange to say the words, to admit it out loud, to push past the overwhelming feelings in his chest and force himself to come to terms with something he had tried to deny for so long now that it had become ingrained inside of him. But the truth of them was undeniable; the reality of them was unmistakable, flooding through him, pressing against his chest and expanding outwards until all he knew was this feeling that he had tried not to feel, that he had not allowed himself to feel, that he had kept inside of himself for long enough that he didn't know how to deal with it.
He still didn't. Celsus closed his eyes, then opened them again, pain etched on his face.
"The thought of causing anyone - of causing you - pain is almost unbearable after all of the kindness that you have shown me. And I'm sorry for it, truly sorry for it. For all of it."
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 12:06 am
I'm in love with someone.
Time stretched on and Bifrost watched him as he spoke, without quite hearing him. She no longer hurt, simply numb and swallowed by her own stupidity. The moonlight almost blinded her, made everything feel like a dream. Yet, she knew she wasn't dreaming. The way her heart ached told her as much. She blinked once, twice, three times before she came back to herself.
"They're lucky to have your love," she said, calmer than she expected to. She meant it, genuinely. Whoever had captured Celsus' heart had crossed barriers to reach him, and deserved it. She took a breath and smiled at him. Tears pooled at the corner of her eyes, but she did not let them fall.
"I forgive you, Celsus. I... just want you to be happy, whatever that means for you and me. As long as I get to see you and spend time with you sometimes, that's good enough for me," said the knight. The words were of truth, though they rang a little more hollow than she wanted. She swallowed again, feeling her heart pound in her chest.
She was reaching the limit of her control.
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