 |
I know Z was like dying to know what happened with my adventures with the Dark Knight, so I'd probably better explain myself. xd
Batman and I didn't end up becoming a thing.
The day I admitted my feelings to him, he was ignoring my messages because he was having PTSD panic attacks, and ironically, I had my first panic attack in years out of the blue, too. I didn't understand it. My ex (the one I'm stuck living with, let's call him S) and I were just starting to get back on friend terms, and we'd arranged to go out to dinner together that night. While we were at the restaurant, I got the call from my mom that my grandmother had passed away. I was devastated. S took me back home and he and our other flatmate looked after me the rest of the night.
I told Batman, and he was...cold. He was absorbed in his own issues, which I can understand, but we both needed support for different reasons and instead of banding together, he pushed me away. I still didn't get the hint, I kept hoping it was just the bad day that was affecting him. I started seeing a therapist at the on-campus counselling center for my growing depression.
S and I grew close again, we were doing things together and making plans to be FWB because I saw my chances with Batman shrinking by the day. I slowly stopped messaging him and faded into the background, it hurt so much but I told myself that if he wanted me, he would reach out. Batman finally reached out and invited me over for a fling, and I was excited... but it wasn't the same. It felt impersonal, he didn't want to talk very much and didn't have me stay over. I felt even shittier having gone than if he wouldn't have spoken at all, because I knew then that he wasn't serious. Something had changed, but I didn't know what. Not long after, I joined Tinder in the hopes of finding an actual connection with someone.
On there, I met this guy I'll call E. He's a fellow student, one year younger than myself. We were slow to get the ball rolling at first, not for his lack of trying, but because I was still hung up on Batman and I was uncomfortable with my situation with S. But we got to know each other, and E asked me out. I accepted, and told S I'd have to cancel my plans with him that night because I had an actual date. S freaked the ******** out on me, getting all controlling and threatening like I explained in the other thread, and I was really bothered by that. But I went on the date with E and we really hit it off, and made future plans to see each other again.
Batman messaged me out of nowhere, and since things had cooled down between us, I finally asked him very straightforward what had happened. He explained that he was never actually serious about me, and finally used his head regarding the fact that he was playing with my emotions and thought it would be best to just block me out. I understood. It was a dickish way to go about things, but I understood. I gave up on him that moment. I was on a date with E when Batman messaged me about how he "needed to ********" and I was all "WELL THAT SUCKS, BYE." He didn't unfriend me, but he booted me from his friend circle group chat. rofl I haven't heard from him since.
I got put on an antidepressant, and I finally got the guts to tell my counsellor about what S had done (again, read the other thread). So I filed that police report, S is getting evicted. E and I went to the hockey games this past weekend, and on Friday night as he walked me to my car, he asked me if we could become official. I said yes. And he and I are very happily together now. heart
So yes, my life has been a ******** MESS. But after burning my whole world down and finally ridding myself of so many toxic influences, there's a new dawn ahead. And it looks bright.
|
 |
Reply
