Hydra was kind to him, gentle, treated him as another human being despite the obvious fact that he wasn’t. She had something orange with her, and the orange thing smelled of trash cans and cheap alcohol. The orange thing was matted, but Julian seemed to recall at least tolerating or even liking the orange thing, just a little bit. Moreover, he could recall a sense of jealousy, but could not place why.
Regardless, Julian had dreams of a promise, of a tearful goodbye under a particular tree in the park. They’d met and parted under that tree, he was certain. The reborn young man couldn’t recall when he’d seen Hydra last, as time was a delightful and yet squirrelly thing he’d only recently become accustomed to. He had much to tell her with sloppy handwriting. Every day was an improvement, though miniscule, and Julian insisted on writing it by hand and not with a computer. It was more personable that way.
When finished and the duo had powered up for a patrol, Gravina took a detour to that very same park and perched on one of the plastic jungle gyms to survey the area from a higher vantage point. He was taller then, and things looked clearer at night than they did now. The darkness was not so welcoming anymore. Still, the tree was easy to spot, standing solemnly in its lonesome amid a sea of green grasses. In his mind’s eye, Gravina could smell her shampoo and feel the blessed warmth of her skin against his nightmarish carapace. Hydra was warm, soothing, the way she spoke to him. She was something special to him in a way no one else was. He could hear her voice through hazy fog, through water and rain, hearing her without understanding what she was saying. Hydra, in his mind, was incomplete, but whole enough to recognize.
Nestled in the bows of the branches were several folded pieces of paper, taped shut and labeled ”HYDRA” in shaky letters.
Quote:
Dear Hydra,
It’s me! I remember you, most of you, even now. It’s been… I don’t know how long it’s been, but it’s been, and that’s great, isn’t it? The clock is moving now, and the sun moves up and down through the sky. It’s not just the moon anymore. Things look very different during the day. Colors are brighter, skin is warm, birds are singing. I don’t have to sleep in that dark and cold place anymore, and I can dream sometimes, when the terrible nightmares go away. I have pinky fingers now, which is pretty great, but pencils are difficult.
I missed you, what I can remember of you. I remember your shampoo, and it smells very nice in my memory. You had a medal you were very proud of, and someone who treated you poorly. You walked strangely one day, and I carried you so you wouldn’t be in pain. You said it was no big deal, but it was a big deal. Thinking back, I should have felt bad for you, but I didn’t. I think it’s because I couldn’t.
We gave you something. Me and someone else, but I don’t remember who that someone else was. My memory is spotty. Sometimes I try and there’s only bits and pieces there. They were small and orange, I think, which is very strange when I write it down.
Benitoite hates me now. He said I ruined everything, and planned all of this. He said he’ll kill me if he sees me again. I didn’t plan it… It was desperation, I guess. I was his mistake, and didn’t want to be his living guilt anymore. Even if I died, that was okay. I was prepared for anything, really, as long as I didn’t have to go back to the Rift.
I guess that’s why they call it a leap of faith.
When you have nothing to compare it to, things always seem the same, or not very exciting. The people I live with, sometimes I say silly things and they smile. I guess not being human makes me appreciate the things that make human life so wonderful in comparison. Cookies are pretty great, by the way. The sun might be my favorite part, but sweaters fresh from the dryer is right underneath that. And then eating is probably number 3.
I hope the person who hurt your ankle is treating you better now, and that you’re happier. You were very sad before, and I’m sorry for making you sad like that. I guess now that I can feel that way, I can say that I love you, Hydra. You were the only one I can remember, besides Benitoite, that treated me like I meant something. I thought I meant something to Beni... My memory of you isn’t the clearest, but what I can remember makes my heart warm.
I have one of those now, too.
Maybe if the park owners don’t get rid of this letter before you see it, I can leave you some cupcakes. I can make and eat those now, and it’s pretty fantastic.
B
