The first little chubby blond child out the door was her signal to book it. She barely watched for a moment, eyes wide before her tiny little legs (by comparison to large human ones) carried her away. Away from the school, away from the street full of parked cars with parents in them trying to pick up their kids, and definitely away from the children. Across the soccer field and over a fence, Ichta paused, balancing awkwardly on top of the posts to peer into the backyard that she was about to jump into. No scent of a dog, check, no swingset or trampoline - probably no kids, check, and from what she could tell no lights on.
A nice, safe, quiet yard.
Gingerly hopping down from the fence, she surveyed the house further now that she didn’t have to worry about screaming kids to escape from. Despite the fact that nobody was home, they’d left a window cracked open. Not low enough that anybody could reach in and open it any more, but…. A small walk up the back porch, a leap onto the railing, and another daring kitty leap - Boom! She pushed herself in through the opening, barely nudging the window open more and landed on a bed.
A quick look around said the obvious: Teenager. She sniffed the air, then settled down on the sheets, stretching her tiny paws out.
Safety and a nice place to nap. At least until whoever owned this bed got home...but there was a window to jump out of, so she’d be alright.
Children were the last thing on Bob’s mind to be concerned over. In fact, the only dilemma that the ginger Mauvian was worrying over involved how to make it back upstairs with his newly found treasure trove of edible delights.
Upon rummaging through the kitchen, a variety of options had been discovered. Greasy chips and animal crackers had been discovered in the pantry and after struggling to open the fridge (he had his ways, he had his ways), discovered deconstructed chicken, tuna salad and some white yogurt based food that looked suspiciously outdated and yet tasted relatively okay.
Grabbing a dish towel by the mouth, he yanked the coarse fabric from off the oven door and dragged it towards the tile that held all of his prizes. Stacking everything into a community pile had been easy enough, dragging it all to the bottom of the stairs had been equally as easy.
Climbing the stairs with said food, however?
Not quite as graceful.
By the time he'd made it to the top of the staircase, half of his prey had managed to clump, drop, squish and topple their way off the cloth and smear itself on the carpeted staircase. Ah, well. Can't win ‘em all.
Making it back towards the kid’s room, he backed his way in through the open door, tail thwapping left and right as teeth carefully kept the cloth under control. The pungent smell of tuna salad had him distracted enough to miss the new smell infecting the room….that is until he turned around to search for a pillow to get comfortable on.
A furry eyebrow quirked up at the new addition on the bed. Why, hello there.
Plopping down on his butt, his tail curled around his front paws as his head tilted to the side. Practically purring the entire time, he sing-songed, “Well someone’s been sleeping in my bed.”
The noise coming up the stairs had not been missed, Ichta’s head lifting and her ears standing alert as she stared wide eyed towards the door in the same fashion one awaiting a serial killer would wait in anticipation to see if they’d be found in that particular closet. For a moment, she’d thought she was safe, only halfway to her feet…..then the door nudged itself open and she looked from the furry butt (it was a butt, after all) to the window…..
But a cat was safer than a child, and Ichta slowly settled back down into a cat-loaf like position to watch Bob, her neck as perked up as possible to watch him as he made his way across the room with wide, worried eyes. He smelled weird. Maybe it was the tuna salad. Seafood had a way of smelling bad (but it wouldn’t stop her from licking it at least once).
“Y-you’re not a house pet...this isn’t your bed…” she stated, not exactly sounding confident in the statement and still seeming inclined to maybe make her way out the window if all went horribly. “I mean...I wouldn’t think this is your bed…it doesn’t smell like anybody with a coat of fur has been sleeping in it.”
At least she hoped that was the case as she shrunk down, ears flattening pathetically as her voice shrunk.
“Am I in trouble?”
He peered up at the smaller cat, who looked like she was about to start shaking worse than her voice. Finding another Mau was always a plus, but this one was already on the defensive.
“No, kid. You aren't in trouble.”
Mouth curving into a sly grin, the Maine Coon wasted no time in jumping onto the bed alongside the other cat, pushing the boundaries of personal space encroaching. Paws sauntered around in a half circle, ensuring he placed himself between the stranger and the open window. “But you are right. This isn't my place...but from the smell of things, it isn't yours either.”
Eyeing her up and down, he made note of her smaller, more delicate frame and the familiar little star nestled directly in the middle of her forehead.
“I’m Bob.” The name rolled off his tongue. “Resident house invader and fridge explorer extraordinaire.”
Taking his seat once again, one paw rose for idle attending as his long tongue moved out to smooth the ruffled, orange fur. “So what's your excuse for sneaking around in stranger’s joints, then?”
And now he was between her and the window. She shifted her weight nervously, pointedly moving so that she was still face to face with Bob as he moved around her.
“Well, no….no it isn't mine either, but..” if it was possible for 7 pounds of small to shrink smaller, she'd find a way to manage it. Especially next to someone who was large by default. She felt a little intimidated, to say by the least, but he probably could have been a kitten and she would have still been as scared as she looked.
Then he introduced himself.
“Ichta…” she replied, voice somehow shrinking more than the curly Devon Rex had into herself. “And I'm avoiding the…” her head lifted up again to look towards the window and the shrieks that could still be heard beyond it. “..the loud small ones…”
One particularly ear-piercing shriek caused even Bob’s to flatten against his head. Noisy little brats, for the most part. It had never proven worthwhile to approach a child unless they were eaten - after school hours was full of pent up energy and mischief. No turkey sandwich fragments or graham crackers made up for a pulled tail or having your brains shook around from rough yanks and tugs.
“I see.”
He turned and moved to place both paws on the windowsill, peering out through the window in hopes of finding the responsible, scream-prone parties. They must have been on the other side of the house - good, let them stay there for all Bob cared.
“Well, it sounds like you’re stuck in here with me for a while then, short stuff.”
Paws descended back towards the other cat, the twenty-some odd pound cat passed by the little lady and hopped back down to his treasure stash, still lingering on the dishrag below.
“Good time for grub, at least until whoever it is that does live here gets home. You interested?”
Dipping down, he plucked up a shred of chicken and began to chew thoughtfully. Cold, but not terrible - then again, beggars couldn’t be choosers when it came to rifling through stranger’s foods.
Ichta watched him with the same pointed fearful gaze as Bob looked outside. “I’m sure when they’re sleeping they’re nice but…” screaming children weren’t sleeping and very few had the soft touch required to handle a spooked kitty such as herself. Once his nearly-three-times-her-size bulk had passed her by, Ichta carefully poked her head up to peer over the windowsill to check for the kids as well.
They were doing the ‘being heard not seen’ thing which...well, it didn’t sound like the right way to go about it.
“Grub? You eat grubs?” she asked as she backed away from the window to carefully creep to the edge of the bed and look down over the side. Those were the strangest looking grubs she’d ever seen. Still, she teetered on the edge before slowly jumping down and skirting around the cornucopia that had been dragged up to the bedroom and sniffing curiously.
The tuna smell was strong and it made her crinkle her nose before she perked curiously at what it was Bob had. “Chicken?” even her fearful tail raised up in a more alert manner as she sniffed around for a piece of it for herself, snatching up a piece and...well, she seemed to just be licking it into submission.
Curious didn't cover the feeling Bob held for the small little skittish thing inching its way towards himself and his smorgasbord.
“Grub. You know, food? Snacks?”
The way she lurched forward to grab a piece of the pale meat made him wonder if she was a bit underfed. She seemed scrawny in general, but then again most cats seemed scrawny to Bob, in comparison. But as she began lapping at the meat instead of chewing it….
Well, it was weird.
Swallowing the shred in his mouth, he dipped down to bury his face in the yogurt-like concoction. It didn't matter that the junk got all over his nose and cheeks - something to lap up later, when he was preparing for a cat nap in the window with a full belly. Drawing his head back up, he was decent enough to swallow the remains of food in his mouth before asking his next question. One in particular that was bothering him.
“So what's your story, Itchy?” One paw moved up to wipe the cream from his whiskers. “You look like you've been….erm.”
How did he phrase it delicately?
Oh right. He didn't.
“You act like you've been abused. Too many kids in your life, sweetheart?”
“I'm not a Itchy,” Ichta protested in a meek voice, so really it wasn't much of a protest at all before she started to chew on the end of the piece of chicken she had nestled under her paws. Once a chunk was chewed off she noshed loudly on it. Well, she wasn't too worried about manners at least.
“I...I've been around. People are loud, stompy, and sometimes awful so I just…..keep my distance until they're not. That's all.”
Bob's inquiries made her a little nervous, glancing between him and the rest of the chicken before she resumed her very undainty chewing. For being small and streamlined and graceful looking, her manners were a bit lacking.
“The small ones just usually come with sticky grabby fingers and they are rough and mean.”
Once her piece of chicken was finished off, she started sniffing for her next morsel of stolen food. It'd probably be the easiest meal she'd have for at least a few weeks.
“And you? Just a handsome Tom that likes to break into houses and find a free meal?”
Her compliment did not go unnoticed, the large male puffing his chest outward and raising his chin up. It didn't matter that he was still covered in wet, sticky food - a lady had praised him and he was feeling quite pleased by the recognition.
“Most of the time, I prefer to use my connections for freebies.”
It was true. Bob had collected a handful of humans, magical and civilian alike, that had unwittingly opened their doors (front & fridge) and ushered in the plague of Bob upon their households.
“Every once in awhile I'll see an open window, but you have to be careful...dogs and all, you know.” And nobody liked stumbling across a mutt, of all things. “But if there's no open door, the dumpster does just as well.”
Snagging an animal cracker with one claw, he brought it up and bit off the unfortunate animal’s head. “You ever dumpster dive before, Ich-ta?”
“That's why you always check for signs of a dog before you get off the fence,” at least that was what Ichta did. The 10 second check. If there was doubt in those 10 seconds, she moved on. Simple when one ran in terror as much as she did.
“I can't say I'd keep a collection of humans, but…” there were at least 3 houses she rotated between to get scraps from. A sweet kitty face in the window was always rewarded with something tasty left outside, so..she was similar. She just got less variety in rewards.
She crinkled her nose at the thought of dumpster diving. “Absolutely not! There are raccoons!”
He almost choked on his cracker at her excited, horrified response.
What was she - a priss on top of a scaredy cat??
“And what, exactly, is so much different between us and raccoons?” The mirth on his expression was unmistakable as he popped the rest of the cookie into his mouth, chewing with his mouth open as bits of cream from around his maw managed to make it in and add to the flavor of the rather bland, stale cookie. “They’re just oversized cats without stars - you don’t look down on regular cats too, do you?”
His tail brushed from one side to the other, the large male terribly amused with his new companion. Even to the point that he didn’t mind sharing food - it wasn’t like he couldn’t find any more, if need be.
“Just because we’re of higher class than some of these uncouth, mindless felines doesn’t mean we should judge them, Ich-ta.” Teasing the tiny thing was bringing him more joy than it should; no wonder no females wanted to linger around his presence!
Ichta shrunk. “Have you ever been bitten by a raccoon? It hurts!!” she said in a terrified whisper. “You get to be big like they are, but you know what I am? Hint: easy to chew on!” her tail puffed up as she spoke, as if she was reliving a memory she wasn’t exactly inclined to share with Bob beyond the obvious implication: Ichta had been more than simply bitten by a raccoon.
“Everybody can be big and scary when they have someone small and kitten sized to pick on.” Actually, kittens would be a bit smaller than Ichta was, but nobody would ever guess from her bulk she was over a year old. She’d PROUDLY say she was a whole FIVE thank you very much.
He had to sympathize for the lil gal for a brief moment - no, he didn’t know what it was like to be bitten by a trash panda. If anything, most of the creatures he came across while dumpster diving tended to steer clear of him as he rummaged through the debris. Being the size that he was, it was difficult to pander to strangers on the street without getting odd looks at such an oversized feline, but as far as defending himself went… well, there had never really been a need.
Not when it came to wildlife, at least. Senshi and rather irritating Captains, on the other hand, had proven formidable foes against the ruff-around-the-edges cat, but raccoons, possums and mice were nowhere close to being a bother for him.
“Yeah but that’s where it’s fun for you.” One paw rose and gestured in her direction, his head tilting gently to the side. “Everyone underestimates the small fry in the bunch. That’s when you strike out and prove you’re tougher than even the largest of alleycats.”
His tail curled around his back paw and he grinned. “No one would ever see it coming.”
She flinched back as he moved his paw in her direction, shrinking into herself and flattening out her ears. Scary. “That doesn’t sound fun at all to me,” she said with a frown that just added to the look of distress she had going on. “I’d prefer to not use my claws on anything unless I absolutely have to.” which made it sound like her preferred method of dealing with conflict was to run for the hills.
Which was absolutely right.
“I don’t want to be tougher than the largest of alleycats, I just want them to leave me alone and let me be a normal cat in peace.” a quaint notion, considering that she had a star on her head that made it clear that she wasn’t a normal cat at all. A pipe dream, really. Her tail remained curled up against her belly, ears remaining in the position of mixed-terror at the very notion.
“Fighting doesn’t appeal at all.”
“You picked the wrong city to loiter in then, sugar.”
Another few bites of food and Bob was finding himself growing rather full. For the time being, at least. Snacks were like Chinese takeout - you could only manage to stay full for an hour before the hunger started setting in again.
He left the remains of his meal in front of her, moving to hop atop the bed once more.
“So what's your plan, then, when you hook up with a senshi and they find themselves in trouble?”
Paws kneaded the bedding as he turned in tight circles, creating a comfortable spot on the teenager’s bed. “Because it's going to happen. You may think no, you'll always be a loner - But there'll come a day when you start liking a human a little too much and then that human will find themselves in trouble…”
Curling into a ball, green eyes peered down at her. “So are you going to run out on someone who cares for you?”
Ichta’s head drooped at the obvious question. What if she bonded to someone? She’d never not considered it a possibility, but she also hadn’t actively sought out someone. As far as Ichtaca was concerned, she was a solo cat until she was forced not to be. Not because she didn’t like people (she loved people), but because she was afraid to the answer of Bob’s question.
As he moved to circle up to the bed, Ichta circled to the other side of the food, as though she required something between the two of them at any given time.
“I don’t know,” she said finally. “We find out what kind of cat I am when that time comes.” That was the truth of the matter. If she ran from the side of someone who cared about her, well...she didn’t deserve them. Though to be fair, if they took someone like her into battle, it would be a real test-fall to begin with. “So for their sake, I hope they never put me in a situation to choose, should I find my person.”
Now he was between her and the window and she had to reconsider what her actual escape plan was.
He watched her circle the food, still as skittish as the moment he’d backed his way into the bedroom. Her answer was a sensible one - it was easy, to remain aloof and unattached than it was to actually care for anyone. Bob had done his best to remain the same way… well, he’d tried at least.
One paw crossed over the other and he moved to rest his chin atop both.
“Hopefully you’ll never have to, no. But knowing the brats that run around this city, you should probably consider learning some better escape routes than simply looking for open windows.”
Not that he was one to talk, really.
Bob had earned his fair share of kicks and shakes, the year he’d lingered in the city thus far. It was a wonder, honestly, how he’d managed to skate out of situations without more than a bruised rib or stinging headache. The rough way these senshi and negaverse agents had when it came to handling their furry companions...well, it didn’t come as much surprise to Bob to see fewer and fewer Chaos kitties around.
Yawning, he rolled over and exposed his belly to the world, stretching his long form out while his tail extended itself out. “But it also hasn’t been bad, living with someone that doesn’t have a thing to do with this stupid war of theirs. Take a tip, kid - once you find someone to spoil you rotten, you won’t have a need in the world.”
Ichta considered his words with a slight tilt of the head. “Well yes. Anything with feet and grabbing digits is going to hurt,” she said, nodding sagely with a simple knowing. Everything was big, mean, and very scary. At least as far as she was concerned. Though she hadn’t ever considered housing up with someone that was outside of the war. Her tail flicked from side to side, as she thought about it. Honestly, some nice soft-around-the-edge woman who wasn’t part of the war sounded like the ideal sort of person to house up with.
“Well, I think a few hours inside a house here and there should serve just fine. It isn’t like I’m ducking into a bunker to keep myself safe from impending guerilla warfare on my tail,”
Except she knew it’d be wise. Given her small, meek presence, it wouldn’t be completely out of place for the wrong set of hands to grab her for their own purposes. Would she be able to fight to even defend herself if the time came? She couldn’t even bring herself to try and navigate around Bob to try and get back to the window. If he’d been between her and it and the sound of people coming home urged it, she wasn’t sure if she could either.
“We’ll see if I find a person that fits right even if only to be a lap kitty basking in a warm window all day.”
“A fat and happy lap kitty basking in the window all day,” He was quick to correct, feeling himself an authority figure on this issue. While he had no respectable, sweet lady to call his mistress, he once had one. But that was in the past - he’d tailed alongside Rob through the divorce, quickly learning that the love that he’d felt he’d shared with the woman of the house was clearly nowhere near as strong as he’d imagined. A bittersweet realization - just another lesson to learn that one could only really trust oneself, in the big scheme of things.
For as much as he preferred to ignore the large tom’s presence, Robert had been a decent owner and Bob had rewarded him for such. While Rob supplied him with all-access pass to cable and Netflix, Bob made sure to debug his laptop when he wasn’t looking. And, y’know, secretly sign him up for dating sites.
He was a helpful roommate.
“I’m sure someone would dig a small cutie like yourself.” He glanced at her from his upside down angle, lazily watching the other cat. “How have you been getting by so far, then, if you’ve never had an owner before?”
Ichta didn’t consider her answer too long. “Very carefully,” she answered. Of course a small cat like her got along because she was careful. Then again, it wasn’t as though she’d been playing this game by ear for her whole 5 years straight. In fact, Ichta couldn’t place exactly where she’d been for some of them. Just that they’d...passed. Hmmmmmmm. Well, she didn’t worry too hard about it.
Still, the idea of being a fat, happy kitty in a window was now very appealing to Ichta, who kneaded her paws into the floor briefly before she wrapped her tail around them all. How did someone find a great hook-up like that? Besides, well, by being a pretty kitty like she obviously was. Did she just adopt someone and hope for the best?
“But, we’ll see what happens. I’ll see what happens,” it wasn’t like Bob was going to hang around and peer over her shoulder to make sure some family picked up an adorable curly cat for their own purposes, right? That would have been entirely uncomfortable for sure.
“Whatever you say, sweetcheeks.”
His answer was as lazy as he was. Bob was almost half tempted to suggest that the Order aligned dame could take a walk on the wilder side of things with a rather half-dapper looking gentlecat (like himself, for example) when a noise downstairs caused his ears to perk.
There was a slam of a door… was the owner home?
The large cat rolled over, his tail and paws stilling as green eyes grew wide. It was nearly impossible to try to figure out who in the household was creating the noise, but from the sound of the disgusted cries, whoever it was had quickly discovered the soiled staircase from Bob’s earlier trip in the kitchen.
“I think it may be time for us to take our leave, Itchy.”
Rising from the bed, he cast an amused glance at the remainder of their food collection, particles mashed together in an unpleasant looking array, spread across the dish rag. Whomever was now ascending the stairs clearly wouldn’t be happy with the mess, but Bob didn’t intend to stick around to actually gauge their reaction to the chaos. “Unless you want to see what happens when a human finds an unexpected visitor in their house?”
He turned and took three steps towards the sill, leaping atop the surface with a graceful jump, considering his size. Wedging himself under the opening, he paused barely long enough to toss her a wink.
“Coming, cutie?”
Bob didn’t have to ask twice, Ichta already on edge as the sound of an unexpected arrival downstairs caused her curly tail to puff up hilariously. She didn’t even glance back towards the door, instead practically teleporting up onto the bed and almost attempting to duck underneath Bob to hide. Except the large cat (he was like a walking hiding place, it was wonderful) was very much already on his way out.
“I don’t even want to see what the owner of this room looks like,” she confessed. It smelled….weird...and that gave her a fine idea of what sort of teenage boy spent their personal time in there. She paused, paws on the windowsill as she waited on him.
“Of course, I’m right behind you.”
Offering the lady a grin, he nodded his head and hopped out the window, mindful to watch both his footing and for the small cat following in his wake.
demon_pachabel
