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 Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2017 12:17 pm
Somehow… Some way... The managed to escape. Just as mirrorspace and sucked them in, it spit Susquehanna and Mamertine out, and the sweet, sweet smell of Destiny City hit the young man like a splash of cool water on a blistering day. They were alive and safe, just like Mamertine had promised… But Susquehanna didn’t know where to go from here.
For a moment he just stood there, blankly looking out at the flickering streetlights near the courthouse where they were spit out. That’s where he vanished, after all… How’d they end up back here… Was Alexei still nearby?
No… Why would he stay? He’d been missing for nearly a week now, why would Alexei work any harder to find him if he couldn’t find him the first few days… Shiloh figure he should just go home. Go home and deal with everything in the morning. Beg for his job to remain stable, and to maybe ask Alexei to forgive him for being so quiet… And yet the very thought of going home and being left alone in the silence made him visibly stiffen, that same quiet and taunting voice in his head whispering that same threat as ever. Just die already… You won’t be alone when you’re dead.
His hand came up immediately at that though, gripping tightly at Mamertime’s sleeve.
“I don’t want to be alone… Where do we go now…?”
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 4:25 pm
Mamertine glanced at Susquehanna and nodded stoically. He tucked away his emotions, hid them, but that was just the way he was. It was just the way he did things.
But he wasn’t going to let Shiloh be alone tonight, that wasn’t even an option.
“You won’t be alone.” He wanted to invite him back to his house, wanted to tell him it was okay. Wanted to be Alexei.
But he couldn’t. Now wasn’t the time for that.
“You’re going to go to your friend’s house. You’re going to have to power down, but we’re going to call a car to come pick you up and drive you there.”
He’d tucked a burner cell phone away in subspace, along with the small wad of cash. He was prepared for catastrophe in as many forms as he could imagine, and sending Shiloh to his house in an Uber was the best option he could imagine. He summoned both into his hands and looked at Susquehanna expectantly. “It’ll be the safest option. And he’ll be happy to see you. You’ll do this?” he asked, but it hardly seemed like a suggestion; Mamertine had already made up his mind and was going to do what he needed to just to get Shiloh home to him, safe.
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Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 7:44 am
For a brief moment, Susquehanna wanted to ask 'why'? Why was this man helping him? Why had he been looking for him, even though they had only met once before? It all seemed too confusing, too... convenient to be any chance action. Had this been someone he knew as a civ? A coworker, or maybe a friend of Sutai's... Yeah, Sutai could have known him and asked about him if he went missing... The thought didn't have much time to develop further as both money and a phone popped out of no where and it seemed Mamertine was far too ready to make plans for him.
"Alright... But... What do I say to him?" He asked, voice hoarse as he slipped from being a Knight of Jupiter to just Shiloh in his dirtied coveralls. He hadn't been home or washed in a week, so he knew he smelled awful, but at least the coveralls didn't smell any worse than they had before he vanished. Just like cleaning products and dirty water.
"What will you do? Is someone waiting for you at home? Y-you shouldn't be alone either, it's... It's been alot to deal with today, and I made you... I-I asked you to... I'm really... Really sorry about everything..."
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Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:43 pm
Mamertine kept watch of the area, keen on making sure that Shiloh was still safe. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, and you don’t have to worry about me. I’m more concerned about making sure you’re all right.”
He could take care of himself.
…By going home and hoping he made it before Shiloh arrived.
“You don’t have to worry about what to tell him. Just say you need somewhere to stay, and that you need someone with you. He won’t turn you away. I’ll stay with you until the car gets here.”
Partly because he wanted to make sure Shiloh actually followed through with what he had proposed. He insistently pushed the items he had summoned from subspace into Shiloh’s hands. “You’ll feel better with him, anyway. Don’t worry about what to say, or about showing up. He’ll want you there. He’ll want to make sure you’re okay.”
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Posted: Mon Jan 15, 2018 8:07 pm
Had Shiloh been in his right state of mind, he would have questioned Mamertine more and more. Right now, though, he didn't care. He wanted to get home, and any bit of steadiness was slowly slipping away. He didn't even have the energy to protest, only nodding quietly while his fingers tapped away to order the ride. They were only a few minutes away... Just enough time for Mamertine to go his own way, and leave him alone for a few minutes...
"I hope... You're.... I hope you can make it home safe too..." Grasping the money and phone in his hand, he managed to bring himself together just enough to wrap his arms around the older knight and squeeze him, trying his best not to sob right then and there.
"I'm so... So sorry for asking things like that of you... I'll be better next time we meet... I-I'll never ask you to do that again... I swear..."
Kyuseisha no Hikari We can skip to Mamertine running home if you'd like!
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 6:38 pm
Mamertine lingered for as long as he dared; he did not speak, but instead kept one arm wrapped around Shiloh and stroked his hair. It wasn’t until he saw a car rounding the corner that he began to get alarmed and think it was time to go.
“You’ll be fine,” he promised, finally prying himself away from Shiloh. He gave him one last squeeze on the shoulder and then parted ways.
Mamertine didn’t imagine he’d had much time to get back to his house before the car did, but not being there when Shiloh arrived could have had disastrous consequences. He hated having to pry himself from Shiloh’s side without knowing he was in the car and on his way somewhere safe, but desperate to keep his secret, he had no choice.
He had spent their shared silence plotting the quickest route home, and even with his planning and speed, he knew it would be a trek.
But, he tried.
Mamertine ran as fast as he could. He leapt from rooftops, jumped fences, and ran.
By the time he reached his house, there was only one car in the distance—a car he recognized as looking too similar to the one that had been driving towards Shiloh when he last saw him to have been a coincidence. But he wasn’t in the clear, yet; he hastily plugged in the numbers to open the gate to his house before he bolted up the long driveway and towards the house.
The car was pulling up the driveway by the time he reached the side of the house, but he wasn’t safe, even then. He was powering down when he rounded the house and was simply Alexei by the time he reached the back door. Without the extra boost from his Knight form, exhaustion was quickly sinking in. He could feel the fatigue but adrenaline and persistence kept him going. His lungs burned and his limbs ached; he was trembling when he made it into his house. The corners of his vision were fading with black, but Alexei didn’t stop walking. He knew Shiloh would be here, knocking, any second. He gulped down air and tried to smooth his clothes and hair, even as he stumbled towards the front door to wait.
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2018 8:16 pm
Standing there in silence for the time they had worked just fine for Shiloh. His eyes had closed, and he simply rested against the taller knight, taking in the heartbeat and calm breaths as a soothing rhythm. When the car finally arrived, he was incredibly hesitant to pull away, finger's curling around Mamertine's sleeve until his whispered promise assured him just long enough to put on a brave face when the car pulled up and allowed him inside.
The entire ride home was in silence, the driver not really one for conversation, which was just fine for Shiloh as he didn't really want to talk to him either. He hadn't even realized when the ride was over, as it took a gentle coaxing from the drive to pull his head away from the cool glass of the window and place him safely on Alexei's porch. Without a second thought the driver peeled out of there, darting back into the darkness and leaving Shiloh standing in the dim light out front.
And he hesitated... As reassuring as Mamertine's words had been, how could Alexei be alright with any of this? He had been gone without a trace for a whole week, and now shows up, beaten and battered, near strangled and weeping and... Surely that was something Alexei shouldn't have to deal with. Shiloh's mind went over this thought over and over again as he wrung his hands to the point of blotched redness. Thought after thought of potential worse scenarios came to his mind as he stood there in the darkness, each one causing more and more tears to well up and spill over.
What if Alexei told him to leave? What if the press or a rival, or someone who wanted to hurt Alexei saw him here, standing here all alone at who knows how late? What if Alexei helped him and he never got better, if he still found himself listening to that voice in his head that told him he would be better off dead. It was still there, clawing and scraping at the back of his mind, growing slowly louder as he lingered out here alone. Had it always been so dark...? Had the dark always seemed so loud...?
The sudden sound of glass shattering broke the trance Shiloh had been in, and so horribly so that he let out a panicked sob, banging on the door as loud as he could manage.
"Alexei!! Alexei please!! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!! Please don't hate me! Please! Please let me in!! PLEASE!!" He tried to scream, his voice still barely any louder than normal given its soreness and self inflected pain.
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Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:02 pm
Alexei had been waiting; he held his breath, trying not to be too eager. Trying not to set Shiloh off by standing at the door. And yet, as soon as he heard Shiloh’s voice, he yanked the door open with such force that he nearly hurt his arm. The desperation caused a twin of pain and guilt that erupted from his gut, his heart. He hated having to leave Shiloh alone, but he needed to protect his secrets.
The need for privacy only served to strengthen the guilt he felt in the first place, but however he felt didn’t matter right now. He only cared about Shiloh, about bringing him home and making sure he was all right.
The moment he could see Shiloh, he wrapped his arms around him in a firm embrace, simultaneously pulling him inside. He had less paranoia about anyone seeing them in that moment, and more concern about Shiloh being outside where something could get him.
“Stop apologizing,” he commanded, voice firm but reassuring. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
He pulled Shiloh close, holding the man’s head to his chest and keeping him wrapped protectively in his arms. “Are you all right?” And then, the more obvious questions to conceal the fact that he already knew, “Where were you, what happened?”
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 4:40 pm
The whole world seemed to crumble away when Alexei pulled Shiloh against him, the young man immediately clinging to him and sobbing hard into his chest. Unlike the sobbing and pain he went through before, right now the only thing he felt was relief and everything that had happened in the past week seemed to go away the tighter Alexei held him. The hand on his head only served to reinforce that sweet relief as he was questioned, though only half choked responses came out.
Shiloh only knew one thing at this moment, and it was that he was finally safe in Alexei's embrace and had no intention to let go again. To him, it was foolish to try to let go in the first place, and it was that lack of conviction that had got him sucked up to that horrid place. While the likelihood of that being true was close to zero, he couldn't help but believe it in it's entirety. After all, nothing ever happened without a reason...
The sobbing lasted for a long while, each second passing was just piling ontop of his exhaustion. When he finally quieted down, he felt as if he could pass out then and there.
There was no desire whatsoever to talk about what happened to him. He had his own questions to ask Alexei too, like had he cared he was gone, or if he truly tried to look for him. The way the judge didn't let him go seemed to answer that, however. And he just knew that whether it was now or later, he'd have to talk.
"Mirrors... I was... Drawn in and stuck... Day after day after day... I was so alone... I wanted to die... " Shiloh whispered, managing to tilt his head up with a wince. Rather than explain it all, he gingerly took the hand that held his head and placed it on his swollen and bruise neck. "I... I'm okay... Just... don't make me leave... Please... I don't ever want to leave again..."
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Posted: Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:46 pm
Each of Shiloh’s sobs was a tiny dagger digging its way into Alexei’s heart, and for a moment he regretted that he hadn’t just told him who he was, that he hadn’t just reassured him that it was going to be all right while they were in that place. Shiloh would have trusted him, he would have known that things were going to be okay if he had only revealed himself.
But, he hadn’t, and Alexei quietly criticized himself and his need for secrecy.
He hadn’t lingered in the doorway for long; even as Shiloh’s tears fell, he had closed the door behind him and lead the younger man with him back to the couch. He’d have walked Shiloh right up to the bedroom, but he didn’t have the energy right now. It was difficult enough to make his way to the couch without looking like he’d winded himself. He didn’t release Shiloh and gave no indication that he had any plans to be any distance from the man.
While sitting he wrapped an arm securely around Shiloh and he continued to hold him protectively.
The words hurt worse than the tears, but Alexei kept his emotions in check and carefully masked. Gingerly, his fingers brushed against Shiloh’s bruised skin.
His heart seized when Shiloh confessed that he wanted to die, but the only emotion that registered on his face was the quick flash in his eyes. He clenched his teeth and nodded, leaning forward to plant a gentle kiss on Shiloh’s forehead. “You are safe here,” he assured. “You don’t have to leave. You will stay here with me tomorrow, we’re taking the day off. I’ll call the office in the morning. Nothing will hurt you, here. You’re safe.”
He repeated the phrase, eyes locked onto Shiloh’s. “You are safe here,” he insisted. “I won’t let anything hurt you. No thoughts of death, no thoughts of pain, or loneliness. I have you, now, and I will not let you go.”
He swallowed and, in a moment of emotional weakness, added, “I was worried, Shiloh.” There was no blame, no accusation in his voice—only honesty. “I looked for you. I’m sorry it took so long.”
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 11:17 am
Shiloh didn't resist being moved around though it felt like he blinked and suddenly teleported to the couch. That was alright though, as long as Alexei was still by his side... Once they sat down he felt the older man just draw him in closer and touch his neck, causing a pained gasp to escape Shiloh's lips, his body instinctively shrinking away. He was drawn right back however when the distance between them became too much and he pressed his face to his chest again.
For just a moment, he seemed to calm down, daring to look up with his bloodshot eyes and closing them once again when he felt that sweet, gentle kiss placed upon him.
This was all real right...? It wasn't another dream that his merciless mind forced upon him where Alexei told him he worried and cared...? Shiloh didn't want to doubt that he was finally home and safe in this place that he had come to love more than any other place he had stayed, but... It wouldn't be the first time... Night after night in that horrible mirror place those same damned dreams plagued him, only to have his eyes open to that empty loneliness time and time again. The thought began to stab his mind, his hopes quickly draining out of his body as his fist reached up to grab Alexi's shirt, not caring if it got wrinkled or not.
Shiloh tried so hard to not let himself be convinced that this wasn't real. He clung to every word of comfort Alexei offered but... It all broke like a damn as he confessed that he was worried.
No... No it wasn't Alexei... Alexei was far too busy to look for him... He knew that Alexei loved his work and had so much responsibility, there was no reason for him to break away from all of that just to look for Shiloh of all people!
He couldn't help it, his hands came up to try to shove the judge away, the sobs coming back in full force, letting out every miserable feeling and darkness he had in his chest.
It wasn't real, none of it was real, and it hurt so badly that he just wanted it to be over.
"Let me wake up! You're not here... You... You never were.. Please stop it! Please! Plee-hee-ease..." He sobbed again, fingers digging into the cloth of Alexei's shirt, begging and pleading for his tired mind just to let him wake up. "I'm alone! I'm always alone.. Just... Just leave me be! Please.. PLEASE! I don't want to hurt anymore! I don't... Just... Just let me die... Please..."
His whole body shook with his cries, and he wanted to scream, just as he had earlier. Whatever cruel hell he was in could take him and just kill him then and there. He was so damned tired...
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:33 pm
”Shiloh,” Alexei said sternly. His voice was calm and commanding and he rapidly drew the younger man closer to him. Too tightly to let him try to draw away, too tightly for him to hurt himself.
To tightly for him to doubt that this was real.
“I won’t,” he answered. “You are not alone, you will not be alone, and I will not let you die.”
Alexei spoke with unrelenting conviction, as if there were no other options.
There weren’t.
“Cry all you need to, but I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. You are home, with me. Awake, though I think you are exhausted and starved and it is affecting you. So focus on my voice, focus on my heartbeat, focus on me, and breathe. Relax,” he instructed.
Again, he insisted, “You are safe here.”
Safe, at home. Safe, in his arms.
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 3:57 pm
Shiloh fought against Alexei but there was no escape from his grasp. That stern and commanding voice had him give up so easily, or maybe it was because he had just broken so badly that he just found no point in resisting any longer and cried into the front of his shirt for a long, long while.
I will not let you die... Focus on me... You are safe... Every word that Alexei spoke tore away at his chest piece by piece, and finally letting ever bit of exhaustion seep into the very depths of his core. And the crying went on and on, but slowly subsided to the point where he could finally heard that heartbeat he was told to focus on. As steady as it was, it lulled him into a sense of comfort and belief that maybe this was real... His mind wasn't one to keep such steady beat, his own breath constantly erratic and nervous, but this was steady.
Tha-thump, Tha-thump, Tha-thump... over and over, time and time again...
Shiloh's body finally went lax, resting heavy against the man he loved, and he finally believed that he was home...
"I'm... safe..." he whispered, grip loosening on his shirt to slip down and rest in his lap. "Yeah.... I'm... I'm safe... You're here... I'm really... really tired... Alexei... Don't leave me... I love you... I love only you, I cried for you and begged over and over to see you one last time... So... So don't leave me, please... I can't take it, I don't want to be alone again..."
His eyes were growing heavy, his near endless sobs and tears having weighed down on him so heavily for so long that he felt as if he could sleep right here.
"I'm home... I'm home..."
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Posted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 4:27 pm
Alexei listened to each word; he expected protest, but not a confession. He was surprised, but given what Shiloh had gone through, he didn’t really know what he’d expected.
For a moment, he said nothing, stunned and perplexed by whatever the proper response should have been.
But Shiloh wasn’t talking about hurting himself, or wanting to die, and he wasn’t going to keep digging into something.
Not tonight.
Though his grip loosened so Shiloh could make himself more comfortable, he kept his arm wrapped around him. Gradually, he shifted into a slightly more comfortable position and pulled Shiloh atop of him. They were both tired, and while it wasn’t where he’d wanted to sleep tonight, he didn’t have the energy to make it upstairs. Instead, he kissed the top of Shiloh’s head and reached for the blanket hanging over the back of the couch. He threw it over each of them, grip still secure around the younger male.
Exhausted, he kissed the top of his head.
“I’m not leaving,” he promised; in this position, there was no way he could have left without first waking up Shiloh.
He wouldn’t sleep until he was convinced Shiloh had drifted off first, so he kept stroking his hair gently, murmuring promises of safety and stability until sleep claimed him as well.
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