Yvaine was having a hard time adjusting; she was not a woman that trusted easily, for so long she only had herself to rely on. Now, she could not even trust herself; her memories, her mind. She was lost, a leaf in the breeze who was just getting carried along a strange and unusual path. She was surrounded by people who wanted to help her, who told her that they loved her, but she still felt alone.
The brunette had decided to spend her day in the park, having finally escaped the watchful eyes of Jada. She needed the peace, to not be damaged and helpless, just for a moment. She knew everyone meant well, but the whole situation was uncomfortable. Small flickers of memories flashed in her mind, important ones, she thought. Rather, the emotions they stirred made her believe they were. This park, something happened here.
The ground seemed to move from under her feet, the sensation making her knees weak. Vertigo, nausea, it came over her like a wave.
The dreadhead took a moment to stabilize herself, deciding it was best is she sat down for a while. The park bench was occupied by a ginger haired stranger; usually she would avoid sitting next to someone she did not know uninvited, but she felt so dizzy in that moment that she had very little choice. Grey eyes looked out across the park for a moment, silent, away in another world; her skin visible pale and colourless.
Her attention turned to the woman next to her, and the sketching pad in her hands. She paused for a moment, but did not make any attempt to look closer, after all artists were usually protective of their work and sometimes shy about it. “I am sorry, I did not mean to stare.”
So much yet so little had happened. Since her hospitalization and need to do very little as her body healed from it’s skewering, Gwen had been, quite literally, barred from doing much. Even going to work had posed issues for awhile until she was strong enough to stand for the full eight hours that her position required of her. During that time, she found herself mentally fighting a demon she had little want to combat. Truthfully, she had filled her days, before the injury, being constantly busy and to go from that to...nothing, well...a deep depression had easily settled over the ginger.
It was her sketching that eventually created a way for her to escape from the constant churning of her mind. Sure, escapism may not be the best course of action, but it gave her relief. Finally, with her accelerated healing, she was able to start working out again and going on patrols but she found herself wanting the release that her drawing provided for her. A day off from work meant she needed a way to fill her time, so the park was the best choice. She’d be around people but not need to interact and few would bother her if they saw her busy sketching away.
Of course that didn’t mean no one would enter her safe little bubble of space, but considering the look on the brunette’s face and her immediate need to find a place to settle herself, Gwen was far from annoyed. Blue eyes flashed with a sense of worry as she looked to the woman, but it seemed she was fine after a moment. So, Gwen went back to her sketching.
The picture was very rough, basically the bones just beginning to be fleshed out as she focused on the landscape in front of her. It was nothing terribly impressive, a basic overview of what sat in front of her, but it eased her mind and anxieties as the scratching of the pencil over paper became the main sound in her mind. Well, until the woman beside her began talking.
Glancing back up, Gwen offered her a small smile and shrugged. “It’s alright. I don’t much care if people see what I am working on.” Assuming that that was what the woman had been staring at. “If you don’t mind me asking, are you alright? You looked a bit out of it when you came over here but I didn’t want to pry since you seemed fine then.”
Yvaine looked at the redhead, her face not really giving much away as stormy eyes took in her facial features and realised just how pretty the young woman was. Then, her expression broke and she smiled, she could have laughed in all honesty.. ”Thank you.” Her voice was quiet, almost bashful as she talked. She was ashamed that her weakness was so easy to spot but grateful that a stranger would show such concern. Yvaine was relying on the kindness of strangers more and more these days; and it had shown her there was goodness in this world still.
Her dreadlocks fell over her shoulders, the bells and charms in her hair ringing at the slightest movement of her head. “It is an ongoing condition, nothing that I am not used to.” It was not a lie, she had not been ‘healthy’ since her purification and often she went dizzy or weak when she strained herself too much. She did not know if she would ever recover from it; there were not many people who had swapped alliances twice like she had. There was nobody to ask and that felt horribly lonely sometimes.
The brunette shifted slightly to look at the woman's sketch in more detail, making a slight humming as she thought. “This place looks different to how I remember it. It was snowing then, and it was dark and cold.” The white paper reminded her of that memory; how at peace she felt despite how uncomfortable the environment was, it was a happy memory - a welcome change. “Though, I suppose that is not the best time of year to sketch outside. In the winter that is.” She shrugged her shoulders and shook off the thought. She must have not been making much sense, conversation was something she was still relearning.
“Your sketches are really pretty.” She mused, and she meant it. Though, she wondered, maybe there would be other sketches in the girls book, ones that would give her some insight or trigger some kind of response. “Can I look at your drawings?” She asked, holding out her hand, a long sleeve falling back to reveal long fingers adorned with rings.
The woman’s appearance, specifically the style of her hair with charms and tiny bells made Gwen think of gypsy. Gypsys, in stories, were always portrayed as the strong, happy sort. The ones where nothing could break their enormous spirit. Gwen couldn’t help but see this woman beside her as a contrary to that belief. There was a fire under there, somewhere, but it was being dampened by her physical condition, whatever it may be. That fighting spirit though, was enough to make Gwen feel a sort of kinderance.
“Have you been away from the city for awhile?” She could only assume that was the case considering the comment about how she remembered the park. “I can’t say I have any winter sketches of this area. I never really thought of coming out here that time of year to sketch anything up. Perhaps, this winter, I’ll have to give it a shot. Come out here with a hot drink to keep my company.” It really wasn’t a terrible idea. Gwen had never been a fan of the cold, but the thought of drawing out a winter landscape was appealing. Of course, whether that appeal stayed once the cold months finally made the appearance would be another story.
The compliment to her sketches had Gwen smile. “Thanks. A lot of them are just ways for me to pass time or to vent out frustrations or anxieties. I guess you could say they’re a sort of meditation for me.” Without hesitating, she handed over the sketchbook to her impromptu guest. Inside the woman would find sketches from various places in the city. A flower shop from the outside looking in and numerous coffee shop scenes where Gwen was obviously a patron by the point of view. There were more out door scenes of different areas of the park, and sporadically thrown around was a few sketches of people. One in particular, a thin male, made a constant appearance but many of the human sketches were very rough.
“I am Gweneth Malley, by the way. Feel free to call me Gwen though.” She offered as she sat back and watched as dread-headed woman flipped through the sketchbook, studying each sketch with interest.
“In a sense. Physically no, but spiritually I have been away for many years.” She smiled softly, not knowing how to answer the question. A big chunk of her memory had been stolen by trauma and the subject was hard to broach with strangers. Amnesia was something that existed only in fairy tales to many people.
The brunette took the book from Gwen’s hands and began to flip through the pages delicately like it was a precious document, taking care not to smudge any of the lines. Bushy brows furrowed as she looked, trying to picture herself on the streets and outside the shops.It was a long shot, she knew that, but when nothing came to mind she could not help but feel disappointed. She so desperately wanted to remember herself.
Still, the drawings were lovely and Yvaine could not help the way she looked at them. It was the city, but prettier and more peaceful. She wished that she lived in the world Gwen created on paper. “A lot of people find damaging vices to cope. Putting that energy into artwork is admirable.” Many of Yvaine’s friends abused drugs, alcohol and sex. The dreadhead did not have to possess all her memories to know it was damaging them. It was not for her to judge, it was not her place to make them stop, still she could not help but wish they would turn to other means. Create something beautiful, like Gwen had.
It was hypocritical really, she was as self destructive as anyone she knew. The one difference was she admitted it but carried on anyway, she did not know what was worse. “My name is Yvaine Arondight. It is a pleasure to meet you Gwen.” She offered in return, pausing as she once again came across the male figure that popped up again and again in the pages likes a spectre. “Who is he?” She asked offhand.
It was an interesting way to answer her question. Perhaps the woman had been so physically ill she’d been cooped up and unable to emerge out into the world. That could account for the cryptic reply, but Gwen wasn’t going to pry. It wasn’t her business and, after all, she had only just met the stranger...well, more acquaintance now she supposed. There are always secrets to be kept. Hell, Gwen had quite a large one herself that she could not outright tell anyone about unless circumstances called for it. “Well, I hope that things begin to become easier for you.”
Gwen continued to watch as the woman flipped through the pages before turning her attention to the park and those utilizing the city space. Kids played games with one another and Gwen was pretty sure there was a game of soccer, or football, going on in the distance to her right in a large open field. A few couples walked by while groups of high schoolers hung out with each other planning whatever it was that teens did. “Well, I’ve never had an interest in drugs of any sort. I’ve seen, first hand, what they can do to people.” She shrugged slightly with a sigh.
With the introduction, Gwen glanced over at Yvaine with a smile. “Yvaine….that’s such a pretty name. I can’t say I’ve ever heard it before.”
Blue eyes shifted to a page that Yvaine was on. The man in question was crudely drawn when he was in one of his ruminating moments in the living room. She had never made a point to tell him that he was the object of her work, instead wanting to catch him in more natural states. It was obvious though that her human anatomy could use more work, but the general idea of the man was there. “Ah, that…” She paused for a moment unsure if she wanted to get into the conversation. For the most part, Gwen had gotten over the break up. Sure, there was still a sadness and hurt there, buried deep within, but it wasn’t a painful topic anymore. “That’s my ex. He made for a good practice subject since human anatomy is something I need to work on.”
“It already is easier. I am here, for now that is enough.” One foot in front of another, one day at a time. She looked over at Gwen as she spoke, her eyes full of understanding. She thought about Kam, that night he came home after disappearing yet again, it sometimes seemed like he carried the world on his board shoulders. She had not seen him since she purified, he had let again and she was not sure he was going to ever return. “You and me both. A very dear friend of mine struggled with his own demons, I hope he is well now, wherever he is.” Wherever he was, whoever he was with, she truly hoped he was happy. He deserved it, more than anyone she knew.
She smiled and nodded her head at the comment about her name. “Thank you, I am named after a Princess actually. Or at least, that is what I was told.” Giulia had suggested many names, from Rapunzel to Aurora, they finally settled on one that was not so obvious. The dreadhead was not sure why the little girl saw her as a Princess; but in any form she took it was always the same. Maybe, she knew something Yvaine did not. Maybe she did have a royal quality about her - or maybe the child just romanticized her too much. Bring a Prince’s escort did not make her anything more than the gypsy she was.
Her eyes turned sorrowful as Gwen explained her relationship with the man, she turned the page and let out a small sigh. “Well, I suppose ex’s have to be good for something.” It was meant to be a joke, but she was not sure how funny the redhead would find it. She shook her head, bells ringing, her tone becoming more sincere. “I am sorry. I should not pry. Relationships are hard, painful even.”
“Inner demons can either raise you up or drag you down into the pits of hell with them.” She agreed.
Gwen waved a hand in a lazy gesture. “Don’t worry about it. It’s been a few months since we’ve broken up now. I feel like I’ve gotten to a decent point with it now.” She smiled. “But you’re right. They have to be good for something.” And he was. He was good for a many things. Even taught her stuff about herself she hadn’t known, good and bad things. It was just difficult to think about how invested she was in the relationship while it felt like he had given up on it months before the break up even occurred.
Alright she needed to stop that train of thought before it sunk her deeper.
“Anyway, I am glad you enjoy my sketches. Any particular one catch your attention at all?” She questioned, her head tilting to the side as she looked at Yvaine. “Truthfully I sketch so much I forget what I’ve drawn sometimes.” Which was realization she came to when Yvaine was flipping through the book. There were a few pieces in there that Gwen had completely forgotten she had done. Some, she could tell by the sharpness of the lines, were done while angered while others, with lazy almost uncontrolled lines were most likely done while watching TV or she was distracted in some other way.
“So, is there anything you do to pass the time? Any fun or interesting hobbies?”
”That is good. I am glad you are at a decent point with it. I am at a decent point I think, but at the same time. I do not think I will get over him either, not for a few lifetimes at least.” She hated that she still thought about Rayyan, she hated the fact that he happened to share a face with her best friend. The brunette looked back at Gwen and shrugged as if to make light of her own confusion - she did not mean anything by it. Heck, she did not understand half the things that escaped her mouth lately.
Grey eyes looking back at the sketchbook for a moment. “Errrm. I play the violin… the piano a little. The guitar too. I guess you could say I am a musical savant. Though I feel more like a servant sometimes, it is like the sounds cast a spell on me and I feel the compulsion to repeat them - like a nervous tick. It releases the pressure that builds up when silence consumes.”
It was not that interesting really, everybody at Crystal played an instrument. They spent a fortune on music instructors…. Though none was ever as persistent as her mother. Oh, how she remembered the sting that lingered in her fingers and knuckles. She could still feel it now at times, when her mind drifted back to her past, of the small fragments that remained of it. How many lifetimes needed to pass before she forgave her? Ophelia could never forgive the abuse the suffered as Emillie - Maybe Yvaine could.
“I remember the coffee shop next to a florist. I used to work there, when I sat outside on my break I remember the smell of the flowers. They were always so strong, they changed the way the coffee tasted…” She mused looking down at the page, her finger stroking the paper but being extra cautious not to go over the lines - so she did not smudge the markings. She then closed the book and offered it back to Gwen.
“But that was a long time ago, I was a different person back then. I doubt I still remember how to make coffee… I hated that job, really. The manager was nice but - people.”
Gwen nodded sagely. She understood the woes of the heart and how difficult it could be to make that full move away from what had once been the love of your life. “It’s not easy and, I don’t know if I am completely over him but, the pain isn’t as much anymore.” She gave the woman a smiled and gently nudged her shoulder with one of her own. The gesture was meant to try and change the mood but also work as a bonding. They were two women who had gone through a tough time. It was only natural that Gwen felt a bit of kinship.
With the changing of topic, Gwen found herself grinning. “Oh! I wish I could play an instrument. I am not much of a musician. I can’t say I even sing often unless it’s within the confines of my car where no one else can hear me.” Laughing she shook her head gently. “But violin, piano and guitar is very impressive! I’d love to hear you play sometime.”
Eyes flickered to the page in which Yvaine seemed so interested in. “Oh! That’s actually the florist shop I work at now.” She smiled. “That’s interesting that you use to work next door.” She took the book back when it was presented to her. “I imagine the flowers didn’t always make the coffee taste great. I don’t tend to take coffee to work for that exact reason.” She shrugged.
Oh, Gwen understood that last sentiment exactly. “Oh yes….people.” She sighed and rolled her eyes. “There are some days I could happily do without some of them.” Just as the words left her mouth her phone began to chime a short and obnoxious, little tune that was obviously a standard for the model. “Hold on a sec.” Fishing around in her bag she eventually procured a cell phone from the bag. With a few flick and tap of her finger she cursed softly under her breath.
“I completely lost track of time. It’s not your fault.” She quickly amended, afraid her new friend would find offense. “I shouldn’t have even come out today to sketch knowing I had to be somewhere.” She tossed her phone back into her bag. Flipping to the back of her sketch pad, she ripped off a small chunk of paper from the last page and hastily scribbled numbers down. Dumping the notebook with her pencils into the bag with her phone, Gwen stood and shouldered the worn leather messenger bag. “Here.” She held out the piece of paper to Yvaine. “Call me if you need to chat about anything or just need an ear. I feel bad running off like this on you, but….yea. We should meet up again at some point.”
Once Yvaine took the slip of paper, Gwen gave her a smile and a wave before heading off.. “Don’t stay a stranger!”
T e b i k ii
Fin!
