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 Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 5:49 pm
Some nights the bar played movies for anyone who wanted to watch them, these ranged from big blockbusters at weekends to less significant box office hits during the week, the kind of movies people might watch on a sofa with their significant other. That night some people had been there with their significant others, the bar softly lit, watching a random movie that had probably been chosen by Harrison.
The movie was Overboard, an eighties romcom with very questionable premise, that of a man taking in a wealthy amnesiac rich woman and tricking her into helping him with his four or five rowdy children and two dogs.
He'd found the beginning of the movie deeply distressing, the loss of wealth and power far too close to his own situation but by the end of the movie had had a little time to think about the choice he'd potentially have to make if he was ever presented with a return to his own life. It weighed on him a bit.
Opening the front door he wandered into the house. He'd been drinking ( just a bit ) but he knew he wanted to find Rodney. Locking the door he hung up his coat, took off his shoes and went looking.
"Rodney?" he said, not loud enough to disturb anyone, but hopefully loud enough to be heard if he was still awake.
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 5:56 pm
It wasn't too late, and Rodney was curled in one of the living room chairs reading, as he often did before bed. He just liked to rest his eyes, and have something pleasant to think about and wind the day down with.
When he heard the door unlock, he untucked his socked feet, scanning the page number before closing the book and going to meet Lawrence.
"Lawrence? Everything alright?" he asked.
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:01 pm
Lawrence was surprisingly glad to see Rodney, as he always was. It didn't matter that he lived here, it didn't matter that he saw him every single day, he was still pleased every single time. On Deus it was too easy to lose things and with the obsessive compulsive streak that Lawrence had, Rodney was a constant concern and something he couldn't ever afford to lose.
Without much warning at all he moved forward and slipped his arms around the other man, always an easy feat given the difference in their heights. It wasn't a desperate hug, not a hug of grief or sudden neediness, it was easy and comfortable and he leaned against him like an affectionate cat. He smelled just a tiny bit of alcohol, though Rodney knew Lawrence wasn't keen on losing his sense of control around others.
"Everything is fine." he said. "I was at the bar, watching a movie is all."
And this too was familiar, Lawrence was rather prone to watch movies and develop Ideas. Sometimes these ideas needed to be quietly discouraged.
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:06 pm
Lawrence wandered off regularly, so that he had just been spending the evening enjoying the movie was nice to hear.
Rodney returned the hug lightly, leaning to rest his head against Lawrence's shoulder. He gave Lawrence's cheek a warm kiss.
"Did you like it?" he asked.
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:12 pm
"No." he said emphatically, before seeming to reconsider this a little more. "I mean, well. It had some intolerable moments, but some of the other points were interesting."
The problematic facets of the movie had gone completely unnoticed by him, he didn't see the problem in kidnapping someone who couldn't remember who they were.
"I think the main thing was the decision at the end. Basically there's a woman. She is very very wealthy but very shallow and vain, always unhappy, always irritable. She has a yacht. She crosses a man and then loses her memory and ends up on the shore. He brings her back to his hovel and has her look after his four brats. She warms to it more and more, and then she regains her senses. She has to choose between her old life and the new life she built from the ground up."
He exhaled lazily, letting his gaze flit across the paintings in the hall, most of them Mikael's, island landscapes and other things, and lingering on the larger photo of them all at the wedding.
"I suppose it simply got me wondering about what I'd choose given that option. My whole life it was of course a no brainer. Money was the most important thing, I'd sell anything off. And then you happened. And now I don't think I could."
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:30 pm
"Family's always been important to you, too," Rodney said, "Not just money. I know you don't talk about it, much. But I know you...don't forget about the people you've lost."
Lawrence's cats. His wives. America. Melvin, too, and that had been Rodney's fault. To Rodney it was something in Lawr's heart that he longed to build, but he never seemed keep.
"For me, it's really...something I was always looking for. I- didn't have money to distract me, either, I just didn't have anyone at all. So I'm- very grateful to have you. And...to have a family."
Rodney knew it wouldn't last forever. He knew their lives weren't long.
"I wouldn't sell it for any price either."
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:38 pm
Lawrence nodded quietly. "I suppose that much is true. Even if I can't grieve the way people normally do I still feel the holes where people once were, the routines which I built up but which are now inactive, impossible to ever repeat again. Repetition is important to me and there's a deep sorrow in patterns which can never be the way they were again." Sometimes he could see beauty in it, sometimes removing people and turning their patterns in the world inactive seemed like a good idea, but with medication that was something he thought less and less. It was mostly bad to lose things and he could see it more clearly than ever.
He gently rubbed Rodney's back with his only hand. "Yes, I am grateful for you too. It was a travesty that you were alone. Every person who ever had you under their sway simply did not know what a treasure they had. Their loss in the end and my gain. You are a masterpiece, you have no price, impossible to sell."
He moved to gently take Rodney's hand and lead him to the couch where he sat. "Once I might have considered selling my sons, if the price was right. I can see now that was a stupid thought, illogical, telling myself I could always make more. That was incorrect, none of them are replaceable and there will always now be a void as a result of me ever thinking that was the case."
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:48 pm
"Y-yes," Rodney said, clutching the back of Lawrence's shirt. "Yes, that's exactly, it. Something missing that...can't be replaced, or taken back."
He seemed shaky at this line of thought.
"Even...? But you raised Mikael. What's...what's changed now?"
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 6:53 pm
"I don't know. That's what I keep trying to distill out. When did things change, what changed and why? Why did it seem logical before, that of course people were expendable, that they were unreliable and worthless, not of value at all to me for much other than what they had to steal. Why now does it seem so important to maintain family and keep it safe from harm?"
He shrugged. "I wish I knew what changed, but I can only say that it was some effect of Melvin and you, of meeting Malkam and understanding what was important to him as well."
"Money doesn't mean anything here, it has little value in the end. But family does mean something, though I'm not sure what. I wouldn't give this up. I don't think I even felt this stable before."
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 7:26 pm
"I feel at home too. In spite of...everything else. You...and the boys, that's what really...has made me feel- like I have a place. And I love you, and you've always treated me, very kindly. I'm happy, too, you've found a peace and it's...a- a good peace. It's why...it's important to me, too. To be able to help you protect- us. E-everyone here. You, and the boys."
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2017 7:34 pm
And it was important, Lawrence thought, to have somewhere that was home, somewhere they could return to to recharge and to have some semblance of normalcy on their crazy island. This hallway could have been any hallway anywhere, with the exception of the dog in his head who was making lewd suggestions about irrelevant things. It could have been anywhere but it was here, and that was surprisingly fine.
"Yes. A home." he said, "And I love you too." Now that he had a language he could express it in. It was still surprising to say it.
"Everyone in this household needs to get in gear on that front." he said, giving Rodney a gentle kiss on the lips. "I'm not scolding you, not even a little. But you should work some more on your bond. Mikael and Malkam need to stop shirking work too."
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