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 Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:10 pm
Evan did not consider himself brave by any means; he was overly critical and hyperaware of his flaws and constantly belittled himself when he couldn’t overcome basic obstacles. For weeks after Cambria and her Court had saved him, he couldn’t even go outside. He was afraid of everything. A noise in the night, a shadow, himself. If he hadn’t had Cambria and Zac, he didn’t know where he’d be, now.
Probably dead, or in some psychiatric ward.
But he wasn’t, and he had to keep reminding himself of that. He could have been much worse off, but he wasn’t—because of them.
He could go outside, now. He didn’t like to, especially after dark, but he hadn’t liked doing that for years even before his…experience. He didn’t always carry a knife with him, at least; and his henshin pen was far less conspicuous anyway. He was a little more able to defend himself; he typically felt like he was weak and helpless and didn’t try to put up a fight, but Zac didn’t seem to have any issue reminding him that he had been feisty and troublesome in high school.
When it mattered, at least.
Sometimes Evan was strong enough, and sometimes he wasn’t. He was only a little over five feet tall and was perpetually underweight, so he wasn’t a particularly intimidating person. He had to ask for help frequently—to combat his own fears, to escort him, to get spice off of the top shelf in the kitchen.
He had people he could rely on—Cambria, Zac. Tobias.
People he didn’t ever want to let down. People he wanted to be more like, so he could make them proud. So he could prove to them that they hadn’t wasted their time on him.
Progress was slow, usually, but every now and then something kicked him into action.
Delilah’s text message, for example, kicked him. Hard.
The conversation started simply enough; he received a text that read, ‘Hey Evan. If you have some free time, there is someone I would like for you to meet. I think you two have alot in common.’
He hadn’t recognized the number at first, and the message initially made him wonder if it was a joke, or if someone’s mutual friend was trying to set him up with someone. He thought about ignoring the text, but he’d been home alone for the past hour and his curiosity had gotten the best of him. He’d replied, ‘I don't usually go out to meet new people; is there something special about them?’
And then, her reply.
'Very special. Someone else who knows what it was like to be a youma'
His blood had run cold and his heart was pounding; there were a thousand things he could have replied back, but his fingers didn’t move for almost a minute and when they did he couldn’t even recognize that they moved of his own volition. He replied, 'Did it just happen?'
It felt like an eternity, just waiting for a response; he held his breath until it came.
It had been recent.
Someone had newly experienced, and Evan didn’t know whether to pity them or be happy for them.
Or both.
His emotions were all over the place, but it didn’t stop him from lurching into action; he replied, ‘I’ll be right over,’ and asked for the address, and immediately set about gathering supplies. He managed to get dressed, but wasn’t particularly picky; he threw on a cat print sweatshirt Cambria had picked out for him and grabbed his back from his room. He didn’t brush his teeth or his hair; those things barely seemed to matter.
He wanted to go over, as quickly as possible; he couldn’t waste time on those things.
But he did prepare, in his own way.
Evan was always cooking things, but his mind immediately went to his comfort food. His crappy Mac and Cheese—Kraft, straight from the box. He put some on and grabbed his favorite soda. He wracked his mind for all the things that had been important to him. Little things that he had relied on—a stress ball, a Rubik’s cube, some bubblewrap, a pen that clicked loudly. They were stupid things, he knew, but they had helped—and they were the best he could do on short notice. He tucked them away in his bag, along with a good, full container of the Mac and Cheese. He kept it insulated, to keep it warm and the drinks cold, and barely had time to write Cambria a note and leave it on the table.
He had to type the address into his phone for directions, but it wasn’t too terribly far away and he found that it was even within walking distance. He left the house and locked it before setting out on his own. Determined only to reach his destination, he didn’t focus on all the things that could hurt him. Instead, he simply focused on getting there, quickly.
The anxiety only set in when he reached the doorstep; his stomach was churning and suddenly, just before his knuckles reached the door, he realized he had absolutely no idea what he was doing—no idea why he’d rushed over here, and no idea on what he was going to do or say.
It was too late to prevent him from knocking on the door; the loud rap of his knuckles against the wood made him freeze and he stared, wide eyed and waiting, and wondering if there was still time to run away before anyone answered the door.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:13 pm
Delilah said he would be small, and has dark hair, and has blue-green eyes. Small, dark hair, blue-green eyes. Light skin, too, but mostly small. Delilah was a patient and kind woman, who spoke to him with gentle words and phrases and didn’t seem to mind repeating herself. When complex descriptions of the one called Evan did little more than confuse her housemate, she opted for more simplistic terms - small, dark hair, blue-green eyes. Three things to focus on, without all the mental clutter of Evan’s last name, or his senshi status, or when he might arrive. Julian found he could focus on simple things.
The time between his birthday and now was a short period, though every day presented new challenges. Delilah still had to fuss with him over wearing shoes and pants (neither of which he particularly cared for, even as a monster), so the compromise of pajama pants was reached. Soft to the touch and non-restrictive, Julian found life was much easier in pajamas than it was in jeans. One less thing to worry about, really. An oversized and well-loved dark blue sweatshirt with an old and faded school logo was comfort at its finest.
Deiliah would fuss over making sure he remembered to brush his hair and his teeth and get dressed, and sometimes those things would be accomplished. Other times, Delilah was simply happy he remembered to wash his hands after using the restroom. Julian did love the smell of soap, so that was easy to remember.
The knock at the door was startling and Julian had to grip the kitchen counter to keep from stumbling. Knocks at the door weren’t uncommon in the condo - Delilah and the rest of his pseudo-siblings had come and gone with great frequency. Someone being at the door didn’t startle him so much as the noise itself did.
More so than anything else, Julian wished to make Delilah proud. Proud that he was working hard on his own, proud that he was practicing how to walk properly, proud that he was brave enough to open the door to someone he didn’t know.
Evan would likely hear the fiddling of the doorknob and the clatter of the door-chain. Julian mumbled to himself, having to verbally remind himself that the door-chain had to be removed first, and then the door could open. After what probably felt like an eternity of intense concentration, the door opened very slowly and a confused, though jovial, young man stood before the smaller boy. Hair was a poofy and disheveled mess, but he was clean.
Small, dark hair, blue-green eyes.
Julian blinked a few times and had to remind himself that one must greet the people at the door. He wrung his hands, fidgeting. “H-hello! Um… th-this… is.. Um, De-Delilah’s h-house. You are… you are s-small. Are you… are you… Evan? De-Delilah said you would be… be coming, here. Um… can you come inside? P-please?”
Not the finest nor smoothest of greetings, but Julian seemed proud of himself for the attempt, anyway. Slowly and deliberately did he meander out of the way, a firm grip on the doorknob for stability’s sake. He knew he did not appear normal by any stretch of the imagination, and Delilah had gently reminded him that such things would come in due time.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:32 pm
Evan’s mouth was dry; he felt very much like a deer in headlights as he stood with his arm outstretched, knuckles pressed against the door. He barely managed to lower his arm before the door was opened, but his pursed lips and knit brows remained.
He did not seem alarmed by the man’s appearance; if it had been socially appropriate to walk around town in your pajamas, he’d have arrived in his. “Okay,” he said shortly, and only because he was afraid of casting some awkward silence between the two of them if he said nothing.
He lingered on the doorstep for just a moment before he stepped in and looked around.
There were no monsters that he could see, no horror movie traps or ominous, flickering lights.
It looked like home. It looked safe.
He turned to face Julian after a quick examination of the house, and clutched the messenger bag next to him.
“I am Evan,” he said after a few seconds, realizing he hadn’t actually said anything. He was still bad with his greetings, but he told himself that it was okay. He had a hard time talking to people, and it was okay to make mistakes.
“I don’t know your name though. She didn’t say.”
He tried to swallow the lump in his throat and chewed on his lower lip for a second before he blurted, “Are you okay? I brought you some things. I know it’s stupid, but I had some time to figure out some things that helped me, and I just grabbed some things. And I made you some macaroni and cheese. And I brought you some Dr. Pepper. Those are my favorite things and they’ve always made me feel better, and I know that it can be really weird to try and get back to normal, but. I brought some over because they make me feel normal, and I wanted to help you feel normal, too.”
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:11 pm
Julian seemed perplexed by the stream of words coming out of Evan’s mouth, and blue eyes fixated on him in intense concentration. Try as he might, Julian couldn’t keep up and could only hang onto the first few bits of Evan’s introduction: I am Evan, and Are you okay?
Everything else seemed lost in the ether.
Before even thinking of answering, Julian was silent for a few moments and tapped his fingers together. He was forgetting something… something…
Oh! The door!
He turned slowly, as one who was previously crippled might, closing the front door with a gentle ease. Fingers moved to turn the deadbolt, just as Delilah had instructed, and Julian took a wobbly step back to survey his handiwork. With a nod, he even patted the door.
Turning back to Evan, he looked up at the ceiling to collect his thoughts. Thoughts were squirming, squirrely things, darting in and out of his mind’s eye before he could catch them. Too slow, he thought. Much too slow. “...I’m… um… J-Julian.” First thing down, what was the second thing? The second thing…
Brows furrowed for a moment and the young man kept tapping his fingers, swaying unconsciously from side to side. “O...kay? Me? Um… I got to… I got to… wake up, today, and see the sun, today. And… De-Delilah, she… she h-helped make breakfast a-and then we… we watched a funny show on… on television. It was… it was very nice. I love De-Delilah.”
It occurred to him, almost suddenly, that Evan was asking something unusual. Everyone he’d known to this point was present upon his salvation. They celebrated his birthday, that very night. He ate food for the first time that night. Evan was speaking of feeling normal and feeling better. Did… Did he know? Julian was aware he wasn’t normal by any stretch of the imagination, but Delilah explained most people would probably think he was mentally ill. Julian didn’t mind, honestly, so long as he could wake up and have real skin. It was the way in which Evan asked that perplexed him.
“Hmm… um… d-did… Delilah… a-are you… D-delilah’s friend? She… she did not say Evan b-before now. N-not that… hmm… not that… I don’t mind, I like n-new people. You are n-nice, Evan.”
It was a simple smile, but a smile nonetheless, that Julian gave to Evan. He hadn’t the slightest idea how Evan and Delilah were related, but he didn’t seem to mind at all.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:26 pm
Evan stayed attentive to Julian, watching closely but without scrutiny. He was hardly an imposing figure even if he had intended to watch with a critical eye, but short stature aside, he’d begun to twiddle his fingers together as he listened to Julian speak.
In some ways, it was nice that Julian liked new people, because Evan really didn’t. Or, rather, it wasn’t that he didn’t like people it was that he didn’t like the awkwardness that came with meeting them. He didn’t like feeling like you had to prove yourself to them, or that you had to act like you trusted them when you didn’t know if they were trustworthy. He didn’t like how easily new people could put on the skin of someone else just to trick and manipulate.
But he didn’t get that impression from Julian, so he smiled again, this time a little less forced.
“I don’t know Delilah very well,” he confessed. “We only met once, before this. But I liked her enough that I gave her my phone number so we could stay in contact.”
He hesitated for a moment; Evan had a way of talking quickly and blurting words when he was nervous, but Julian was the opposite. He spoke slowly, like he was working to communicate. So, Evan forced himself to slow down and speak as simply as he could.
“Delilah and I are friends, but we don’t know each other very well. Yet. But I think she’s nice. She texted me that I should meet you. She said we had a lot in common.”
He bit his tongue for a second, forcing himself to give Julian a moment to process that and to prepare himself for clarification. He added it, cautiously, “The youma thing. But that’s all she said about it. I hope I’m not intruding. Or too forward. I’m not so good at this. Yet,” he insisted, because he was going to get good at it—at communicating, like normal people did. Like acting like normal people did.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:30 pm
The young man stood in the entryway of sorts and watched as Evan slowed down his speech, internally quite grateful. Julian nodded slowly as he processed each bit of information - he was Delilah’s friend, they don’t yet know each other very well. She sent a message on her phone, to Evan. That is why Evan was here.
She said we had a lot in common. The youma thing…
Blue eyes went wide and if it were possible, Julian became even paler. Fingers tightened their grip on each other and Julian jammed the bundle of hands up under his chin. Swallowing hard, his fidgeting became increasingly apparent. “...c-common? ...you… Evan w-was… y-you were… like that, too? Y-you were… oh no…”
His shoulders started shaking before the sobs erupted from his throat. Julian’s face scrunched up into one of distress and the young man started to sink to the floor. “I’m s-so… sorry… sorry, I… y-you were… you were in the c-cold, c-cold dark, too… you had… had the... bad nights and no s-sun and… no f-food and… had to do things… had to do things… t-terrible things… hurt people… hurt people like De-Delilah and…”
The rest was whispered in his weeping, for Julian wasn’t sobbing for himself. He was weeping for Evan, weeping over the fact that someone else was a mindless slave like he was. Someone else might have known what it was like not to sleep with dreams, not to see the sun, not to be able to feel the wind on their skin and to love and hope and cry and feel joy. All the things humans took for granted. Someone else knew.
It wasn’t loud wailing, he couldn’t do that to Delilah. Instead, Julian simply rocked back and forth to calm himself.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:30 pm
Alarm and concern immediately registered on Evan’s face; he hadn’t known what sort of reaction to expect, but it wasn’t this.
“No,” he blurted, torn between reaching out a hand to offer some comfort and giving Julian some space; it was hard enough to determine what to do when you knew the person—harder, even, when you didn’t.
“I mean, I did, but—but it’s okay, now.”
It wasn’t, not fully, but it was getting there. Evan had a lot to be happy about, and the bad dreams were becoming fewer and fewer.
“Uhm—do you want to go sit on the couch?” he asked, looking around the room and spotting what furniture Delilah had. He moved closer and extended a hand as if to help Julian up.
“We don’t have to talk about any of that right now, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry. It’s okay now, I promise.”
He sounded like it was something he believed—or, at least, was desperate for Julian to believe.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:32 pm
His sobs slowed to sniffles as Julian looked up at Evan from his position on the floor. Cheeks were red and wet with tears wept for Evan and his predicament, thankful that he, too, escaped that fate. He nodded slowly to the offer to sit on the couch - he loved the couch and how soft it was and how it sank around him when he sat on it. Gratefully did he take Evan’s outstretched hand to stand on shaky legs, making his way slowly to the couch without collapsing again.
“...y-you… how long, Evan? H-how long… were you… like that?”
Julian felt himself becoming nauseated, but his brain desperately wanted to know. If Evan was like this, whole and human and soft and full of promise, then he could become that as well. Who was Evan bonded to, if anyone? How did he escape?
Perhaps it was best not to know, for his brain was a mess of thought and emotion, and Julian was unable to detangle it all now, as he was. “M-mercy, she said… she s-said I was like that for.. For… a long time. Long time. Almost… f-five years, she said, that I said that… I don’t r-remember, but… I believe her. I love M-mercy, too, and S-sita and Mom…”
Shame washed over him like an ocean wave when Julian realize he was an emotional mess all over a guest in the house. Delilah was teaching him manners, and here he was, practically slobbering all over someone he’d just met. Fresh tears started to form as Julian used the heel of his hand and the fabric of the sweatshirt to sop them up. “I… I’m s-sorry, Evan. It’s… hard, s-sometimes, when you can feel, now… you know, right?”
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:33 pm
Concern still registered strongly on Evan’s face; he didn’t seem upset, only worried. “You don’t have to apologize,” he insisted. “I know what it’s like. I cried, a lot. I still do. I was only like that for a year, but it’s only taken me a few months to get to where I am, now. I’m basically me again. Only, sometimes better than how I was before. Not that being a youma helped me or anything—it didn’t—but I mean…now that I’m back to being me again, I had people that I could talk to. That knew me. That were okay with me breaking down and…and who wanted to help build me back up.”
He fumbled with words, partly because it was an awkward topic for himself—and because he didn’t want to upset Julian further—and also because he was doing a word dump again, and he had to remind himself to slow it down.
“My emotions were never very stable in the first place, so you don’t have to feel bad. It’ll mellow out some,” he promised. “But you don’t have to rush it and you don’t have to be ashamed of it. You had a lot of changes and you can’t adapt overnight. Five years is a long time to be trapped like that, so you just have to be nice to yourself and let it take as long as it does, okay? And you can cry. It helps.”
It was cathartic, and more than that, it was exhausting enough that he knew he’d always get a good night’s sleep.
Sometimes, just sleeping through the night and being able to wake up in bed was refreshing enough to eat away at his worries for the next day.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:35 pm
Evan’s demeanor was calm and comforting, and Julian could feel his heartbeat and frenzied breathing begin to slow. Evan knew, Evan understood. He understood how difficult it was to keep emotions in check, how difficult it was to feel them in the first place, when they’d been stripped of emotion for so long. One became accustomed to a lack of emotion, and a lack of empathy or concern or care or morality.
Knowing that, knowing that someone else understood the things that Julian attempted to explain to Delilah, in his own fractured way… it was a comfort. He had a comrade. A comrade who understood completely.
His fidgeting decreased and Julian swallowed thickly, sniffling and watching Evan through bleary eyes. “...i-if… if you c-can do it then… then… I can, too… right?” If Evan can do it, if Evan can recover and be normal and functioning, then I can too?
He vaguely remembered Evan mentioning that he brought things. Julian found that curious. “...you said… you said you… brought a doctor? And a cube? A-are you s-sick? Delilah, she has… she has medicine, in the bathroom, in the mirrored cabinet. I can go… get the medicine for you? I’m s-sorry you’re s-sick. Do we get… get sick now? Now that we’re… all squishy? Were you squishy before this, E-Evan? I… wasn’t squishy… I was… blue, and big, and dry. Itchy. Not good. Not good at all.”
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:36 pm
Evan blinked and opened his mouth to reply, but caught himself struggling to figure out how to answer. “I was squishy,” he said after a minute. “I was small. Really small. And fluffy. But that’s not important,” he shook his head, as if to dismiss the image. “It’s what I was, not who I am. I’m this.”
He placed his hand over his chest for emphasis. “And if I can do it, I know you can. I’m not strong or anything, Julian. I’m scraping by. But I think, that if I can do it, anyone can do it. So I know you can. Oh, but—the things I brought, maybe it’s just better if I show you.”
He moved for his bag, slowly, enough that he could make sure Julian could watch him while he moved and so he wouldn’t accidentally alarm the man. He pulled out the Tupperware container of Mac and Cheese; it was still warm and the plastic container had fogged over. “Dr. Pepper,” he explained, pulling out two bottles of soda, still chilled. “It’s a drink, just a soda. Pop. Cola. That type of thing, whatever you wanna call it. A carbonated beverage with too much sugar but it’s good for your heart. Not your teeth, but,” he held the bottle out, paused, and then retracted it. “Oh. Actually, let me get that. My hands didn’t work so well when I first got back. But I have some things to help with that.”
He unscrewed the top of the bottle and offered the open drink to Julian. “I’m not sick though, but thank you for offering.” He smiled up at Julian reassuringly. “The other things I brought are kind of like toys? Except they helped me figure out my body more. The Rubik’s Cube is just a block with different designs on it, and you’re supposed to twist it and make all the sides look the same. I’m really bad at it, it took me like three weeks to do, but it was really good at helping me get better with moving my fingers. And I brought you a stress ball, because that is good when you are stressed, but also it helps your muscles. And a pen, that clicks a lot, because that is good for the same thing, but I liked the noise it made. Like it was saying, ‘Good job!’ every time I clicked it.”
He looked a little embarrassed at the confession and wouldn’t look Julian in the eyes; instead he just fished around in his bag some with his free hand, pretending to be distracted by looking for something else.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:38 pm
Julian marveled at the plastic bottle, the open top giving him the ability to listen to the carbonation as it fizzed. A slow and joyous smile formed across his face and before he thought to drink it, he wanted to listen, holding his ear just above the opening of the bottle. He loved the smoothness of the bottle, the coldness of the drink seeping into his fingers. It was a joyous thing, this simple bottle of soda. “...th-thank you, Evan. Thank you… very, very much.”
He listened, intently concentrating on each item as Evan brought them out. The cube had many colors, he said, and you had to get all of the colors on one side. A squishy ball for stress and strengthening your hands. A clicky pen… Julian too liked the sound of the click. It was satisfying in an indescribable way. “I have… these fingers, now. Pinkie… pinkie fingers. More fingers, than before. I like having more fingers… than before. Th-thank you, for… bringing toys… and talking to m-me, E-Evan. Can… can we… be friends? I would like that. Very much, I think.”
Taking a sip of the soda - his first in Cosmos knew how long - Julian marveled at the taste. It was crisp and bubbly and had… cherries? Something was distinctive about it, even if he couldn’t quite describe the flavor in terms of a food. The bubbles tickled on the way down his esophagus, and once he was finished swallowing, the young man couldn’t help but giggle. “...it’s… liquid bubbles! Does it tickle when you d-drink it, too?”
Everything tickled, when he really thought about it. Julian wasn’t accustomed to having skin that could feel things. Tactile sensations were completely new to him, and he found his new skin was incredibly sensitive. “Do… do things… look different, now? I think… I think… there are… so many things that I love, now. L-love… is something I c-couldn’t… feel before, and… there is so… so much in the w-world… that, I l-love so much…”
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:40 pm
Evan was still undeniably shy about interaction, but he wasn’t going to pretend like it wasn’t at least somewhat easy to be around Julian. They had enough in common that he felt like there was at least some camaraderie. Or, at least, he just didn’t feel threatened right now.
He couldn’t help but smile.
“We can be friends,” he promised, eyes settling on Julian’s hands. A part of him was excited, but even that was tempered. None of this had been easy for him, and he wouldn’t have wished going through it on anyone.
But, still.
He’d rather be human than a monster. And he wanted to help make it easier for anyone else who was going through it.
At least, if he could. A nagging voice in the back of his head told him he should have just let Cambria know—she knew what she was doing. She’d been able to help him. She could probably help Julian better than he could, but…
Evan had to force his mind to trail off.
Cambria probably could have done a better job, but he wanted to try.
“Lots of things look different,” he answered, finally. “I think I see colors brighter now. Maybe I see the world a little differently.”
Or, at least, the people in it. He was scared of a lot, but it seemed like since he’d gotten back he had hope in his life again. He had dreams.
He wasn’t just going to work in the back of some crappy bar, slaving away in the kitchen. He was going to work toward his food truck, with Cambria.
He wasn’t just slugging through life, hoping for a scrap of attention here or there; he had people who cared about him, in surplus.
He wasn’t just worried about who or what was lurking in the shadows; he could focus on other things, again. He could enjoy things again.
None of that had come from being a youma. It had just come from the people who were around to help him when he was at his weakest. People who hadn’t been there the last time he’d needed someone. People who were fixing all the hurts from this, and all the hurts from before.
His smile lingered on his face; he’d rushed over here without much thought but it wasn’t going as badly as he’d worried it might.
“There’s a lot of good,” he said, sort of surprising himself. “Good people. People that I didn’t know how much I appreciated until I came back. Food tastes better, now that I’m back. And music sounds nicer, and things smell…well. No, I sort of felt like I lost my sense of smell for a while, but it came back. Like if you had a cold and you can’t smell anything? But I think that’s normal.” He didn’t know but he didn’t dwell on it.
There were many things he wanted to ask, but he wasn’t sure where yet to draw the line. He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a second and then looked at Julian. “Five years is a long time to be gone. Do you…do you remember a lot?”
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:41 pm
Julian’s face brightened immediately when Evan had declared they could be friends. His first friend outside of the Council! He just made a friend! His now-human heart swelled with joy and Julian barely had the wherewithal to put the soda bottle back on the coffee table before he got so excited that it spilled all over. “W-we can be… can be friends! Th-thank you, Evan. Th-thank you, very much!”
The young man listened in rapt attention to Evan’s explanation of how his senses were different. It was so incredibly difficult to describe the difference between being human and being a monster. Senses were different, sensations were different, emotions were richer and greater than anything he’d ever experienced. “C-colors are bright, and the sun is warm, and… and the couch is soft… it’s nice to… to feel things… b-because… my skin was, it was very different than… than it is now. Things are… things are warm and s-soft and feel so different…”
With a few nods to himself, Julian seemed confident that his description could at least be understood by someone with a similar experience. Evan would understand what he meant.
When asked if he remembered anything, powder blue brows furrowed and Julian looked forlorn. He placed his hands in his lap and watched them carefully, as if they might change back into the blue clawed hands he remembered so vividly in his nightmares. “....I… I remember… remember that, my General, Benitoite, he… he left me… he l-left me when… when De-delilah and the others… they fixed me. He turned a-around and… and he said… that I was a t-traitor… and… and…”
Julian leaned over as another sob broke out, his shoulders and back shaking while he held the sweatshirt in a death-grip. He didn’t want to be a monster anymore, and he thought perhaps that Benitoite would have understood that. Instead, the blonde accused his longtime partner of treason and disappeared.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:47 pm
Evan didn’t hesitate to offer comfort that time; he reached over and placed a careful hand atop Julian’s shoulder. It was light and easy to shrug off, just in case he was overstepping boundaries.
“The Negaverse is all messed up,” he said quietly. “All they know how to do is hurt people. There’s no shame in being a traitor to them. They didn’t care about you, but now you’re around people that do care. People that want you to be happy, and want you to take care of yourself. And nobody’s going to force you to do anything you don’t want. You’re not going to be surrounded by monsters or darkness or evil. You can have all the warm, soft, nice things that you didn’t have before.”
He swallowed, straining to find more words that could convey what he was feeling, what he was thinking.
He knew the name, Benitoite, but his mind kept slugging through memories, trying to place it. In some ways, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know; if he was a General he had known while he was a youma…
Evan had some memories, but truthfully, he knew he was happier without most of them.
He was about to abandon trying to strain for the source of recollection when he heard Bazzite’s voice in his head, repeating the name.
“Was he the one,” he said, after a slow moment of thought, “With…the necklace? Your…General, I mean. Benitoite.”
He seemed prepared to be mistaken, but was hopeful all the same.
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