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 Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2017 8:26 pm
The first thing Gabriel had done, upon getting home, was sleep. It was all he wanted to do, funnily enough, despite having been in a crystal-enforced slumber for what was clearly a very, very long time. It felt so much shorter to him, but he'd gotten the impression he had missed....a lot.
He woke up a few hours later, and slowly disentangle himself from Des. doing it as carefully as possible to keep from waking him up.
Things were different. Furniture had been moved, and Gabriel found himself bumping into things because his muscle memory of the house wasn't the same. The walls were repainted, or at least half of them were - a bland, flat color, none of Des's decorative artistry.
He spent a long time in front of the door tot he second bedroom, the one that had technically been his. Properly, he'd mostly just slept in Des's room, but still.
He wondered if it would be strangely, eerily preserve,d when everything else was different.
He opened the door.
"Oh," he said, very quietly. The room was not preserved - instead it was packed full of objects, some he recognized and others he could only place after a moment.
Some of the things were his. The rest, that he could identify, were Alex's.
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2017 9:18 pm
He didn't even remember getting home, let alone getting into his bed. He wasn't sure how long he was out, but a soft repetitive thud slowly drew him back to consciousness. "Airi." He muttered, weakly hitting his hand against the mattress to get the youma's attention. He didn't want to get up, but the more he tried to go back to sleep, the more he came to his senses. He groaned as he dragged himself from bed and staggered haphazardly out of the room. "Airi!" He called louder. "God damn it dog, I swear to go..." His voice trailed off when he heard no tell tale signs of the beast, and saw even less.
So what was making the noise?
A thud from further down the hall catches his attention and Des blinks turning his gaze that way. He knows whats down that hall. He knows what he's hidden away and tried to lock out. But something has gotten in. He's slow, as he wanders down the hall, slow and quiet. Almost, hesitant. But he has to face these demons sooner or later, and he'd been running long enough. He stopped at the door, and sighed quietly at the sight.
Demons indeed.
Despite all the things that now occupied the room, he remembered it just like it had been when he had first finished it up for Gabriel. Now though, despite the months... the time that had passed, Des had turned it into a room to shove all his troubles in. Outta sight, outta mind.
"This is probably the only room I didn't change." He mumbled quietly.
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2017 10:14 pm
Gabriel jolted a little when he heard Des's voice - he'd stepped into the room and started picking things up, and then guiltily set them back down, because just because he hadn't seen Alex didn't mean this wasn't his room. He turned around, and gestured behind him.
"Did Alex move in? I, uh. Notice neither of you moved what I had left in here." Of all the rooms, this was clearly the least touched. There were things added, but nothing had been moved or altered, and it had almost felt like stepping back into a memory. "So thanks for that."
He took another glance around. "Where is he, anyway? And who was the Captain who was with you?" He'd clearly missed a whole lot while he was away.
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2017 10:55 pm
Des shifted awkwardly at the question. "You know Alex." He mumbled. "It wasn't so much that he had moved in versus.... Having always been around." The young man cast his gaze around the room, but did not enter as if he was scared to.
"It was after... it happened... I'm not entirely sure when... I was in such a haze then..." He still was, to some extent. "I just... I don't know how to put it... Alex was just.... there." Des soghed... "This must sound incredibly stupid." He said, combing a hand through his hair.
"It's still your room... I didn't change anything iit." Des couldn't bring himself to. "Your things from the will... I couldn't go through them." More like he didn't want to. "Alex tried to talk me into it. He tried to help... He said it might help... But I couldn't. I just..."
He moved then, to lean against the door frame, and wrap his arns aeound himself. "I... I should have know better I guess. I knew it would't last. It wouldn't work... But still I..." He trailed off quietly. "We were both hurting. He had lost Luka and I had lost you." A choked noise escaped him as he sank to the floor.
"He loved me. Did you know that?" He asked as the tears started and he began to shake. "He loved me with every fiber of his being and all I did was use him or ignore him. How is that fair Gabriel?" He asked, choking on his boyfriends name, for the first time in ages. "How? How is that fair of me to do to him and then expect him to stay? I use to run around town all time, trying to keep him safe from thugs, low lives and god knows what else!" He yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "Too bad I didn't see I was the monster all along."
Why hadn't he realized it sooner? The way he felt. Maybe, if he had, he could have changed something. They could have.
"I was happy, for once. After everything. And that was it. I was happy, and I shouldn't have been. On top of losing you, I lost the only other person in my life who gave a damn about me. The only other person who could keep me centered in this god forsaken existance!"
"Alex is gone. Purified... I.. I lost him."
And it hurt.
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:07 am
Gabriel hummed briefly in agreement. Alex was sort of...like that; he became a presence in your life that you weren't ever really able to dislodge. He certainly had been for Gabriel; it was almost strange that he hadn't been there when Des came to pull him out of the Rift, but then, the Rift was especially dangerous for Senshi, corrupted or not.
"It doesn't sound stupid," he said, gently. "That's how Alex is, right?" alex was always there, even after he'd started dating someone else.
(Something in Gabriel didn't like that, but something else in him did. It was....confusing, deeply so.)
He let Des keep talking, and accepted that as something of a timeline - at least five months, probably closer to six or seven, at minimum, but he suspected much longer. He just....needed to see a date, a calendar, something.
His eyes narrowed, briefly. "Lost...Luka?" What had happened?
Something sick and dark and jealous began bubbling up inside him, the more Des talked. He'd known, he'd always known, there was no not knowing because Alex in love was not very subtle, but the way Des was talking...
The way Des was talking, while he'd been crystallized in the Rift, Alex had done something about it. And then he'd. Left. Left Des behind, alone and broken, and run off to Order.
It made him furious. Not at Des, never at Des - as far as Des had known he was dead, and he couldn't ask him not to move on, but seeing him looking so miserable, Gabriel wanted to find Alex - or whoever he was, now - and...he wasn't sure. It didn't matter.
He moved forward, and pulled Des into his arms, squeezing.
"Hey. It's okay. You're not alone anymore, I'm here." Alex was a problem to be dealt with later.
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 10:18 am
Des nodded against Gabriel's shoulder, as he clung to the other man. "Alex... Alex had hit a low point and he eventually got himself in trouble with some General.... I don't remember the details, be he had to corrupt someone. Turns out the b*****d he ended up corrupting was Luka. Now he's running around the Negaverse doing who knows what." Des mumbled. "He's mad at Alex..." He shook his head. "Alex didn't want to hurt Luka... He wouldn't have done it if he'd know the page he had called was Luka..."
Suddenly, he laughed though. Harsh and bitter. "But who am I to talk. I did the same damn thing he did..." Even if the circumstances were different. "That girl.. Her name is Amazonite... Though it use to be Mimsbrunner." Des wondered momentarily if Gabriel had known her. "She was.... Is, my friend. And I hurt her... I was so tired, of everything. I didn't care anymore. She said she'd been tainted by something. I don't know... it was something to do with the raid a months ago... She said she was hurting... and I took advantage of that and told her I could help her... I would just have to call someone with more power." Cause what could a Captain do... "She believed me, hell... She didn't even question my motives... So I called Axenite and..." Des waved a hand before letting it drop to the floor.
"I became that thing after all... Didn't I? Though this time... There was no Earthen Knight telling me he was you... There was no Ascended Corrupt keeping me close... I lost you both." Des cried as he curled into himself. Airi had been there, yes... But for how long. Des had noticed a shift in his personality, now that Evan was gone. Something was wrong with Airi, but Des couldn't figure out what.
"I can't do this anymore... I don't want to do this anymore..."
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 3:04 pm
Gabriel ground his teeth together. The end result of a new soldier for the Negaverse was a net positive, but whoever this General was clearly needed a lesson in the different handling techniques appropriate to different subordinates. Then again, it was unpredictable luck that had let he Knight Kerberos chose to be Luka, so perhaps - well. Under other circumstances, with a stranger, it might not have been too much.
"You did a good thing, bringing her in," Gabriel said. "You didn't hurt her. You made her better. Stronger." He had more questions, questions like who is Axinite; a whole General-King raised in his absence. That would be something to learn later.
"You're not alone anymore. I'm here." He slid a hand under Des's chin, gently tilting his face up and leaning in to kiss him briefly. "I'm not going anywhere. There won't be some fool Earth Knight because I'm just going to be me."
He leaned down to rest his forehead against Des's.
"You don't have to do it alone. I have your back."
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 5:49 pm
When Gabriel said he had done the right thing by corrupting Mimsy, Des froze and his crying came to an abrupt stop. "...How... How could say that? I took advantage of her. She was hurt and she trusted me. I lied to her Gabriel!" He jerked away from the other man as if he had been hurt. "I did hurt her. I took her life from her. Robbed her of who she was, and took memories she'll never get back. How is that a good thing?" Something was wrong. There was no way Gabriel was saying this stuff.
No... Gabriel was right about one thing. It wouldn't be the same foolish Earth Knight who died trying to prove who he was. This was worse. Whoever this was, this wasn't Lyonnesse. This wasn't Natron... This wasn't Gabriel.
"That's... what's what you said before... And you still left." Though... It wasn't exactly as if Gabriel had planned on leaving. Alex had,
but Des couldn't fault him for that.
"You've said that before too.." He murmured. This was wrong, all wrong. Gabriel may have been talking about having his back, but from what he'd just heard, it didn't sound like it.
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:26 pm
Gabriel tilted his head to the side, looking genuinely confused. "You saved her. You helped her become a Negaverse officer. Better that than be killed as a Knight." It seemed perfectly rational to him. He'd chosen the other side once, and it had gotten them both killed. "Corruptions are never easy, and it's best to get people to come willingly, but sometimes," he shrugged his shoulders, "they need a stronger push."
Those weren't things he ever would have said before, but he'd been stupid before. Whatever else had happened, his time in crystal had provided him clarity, that was clear to him. He understood now. Understood that the Negaverse was the most important thing; that it didn't matter that he'd been a Knight once. He was an officer now.
Des, too, was important. Des deserved to be protected.
"I know I said that before, and I know what happened," he said, "but never again. I'm not going to purify and leave you, and I'm certainly not going to make any more stupid trips into the Rift." He laughed, a little, then. "And what else could threaten me? I'm a General of the Negaverse; there's not much on Earth that can do me harm, babe."
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:57 pm
Des was pretty sure he felt his blood run cold as he listened to Gabriel speak. Gabriel seemed to be the only one sure of what he'd done to Mimsy. Well, other then herself of course... But even Des had to wonder, what she would have thought of the situation, if she knew all the details.
"So..." He asked tentatively. "If they don't agree off the bat, you think they need a stronger push right?" Des sighed as he gathered his thoughts and collected his words. "What about me then??" His tone suddenly serious, and devoid of any and all sorry it previously had. "If I hadn't agreed to whatever logic you were talking about. If I hadn't seen you power down into yourself... Would you have force corrupted me? Would you have stripped me of memories and force fed me some lie about why I couldn't remember them?"
Whatever this was, whoever this was, Des didn't like them. "You wanted to be one of them, once. I can't even begin to recall how many times you tried to talk to me about it... How many fights we got into about it." How much sleep Des had lost over it, late at night as he lay awake wondering of those dreams would happen all over again.
"Will you though?" He asked. "That 'stupid trip', as you so put it, was important to you in the beginning. You did it for me. And because of it, you no longer have a youma." Des wondered, if Gabriel realized that Airi wasn't really his anymore. "Airi won't come if you call. He doesn't answer to you anymore... General or not. Are you really gonna pass up the chance to replace something you've lost?"
Des frowned, eyeing Gabriel. "Lets go with a General Sovereign? Hell, in your condition, a General could probably beat you. I could. Let's not forget that there's a whole other side to this fight. With their own Princess, Princes and god knows what else." Des scowled at being called 'babe.'. That, definitely wasn't Gabriel.
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Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:41 pm
Gabriel sat back. That was....a difficult question, and it actually gave him a moment's pause. Even through all his certainty, he wasn't sure if he could do it. If he could have shoved his hand in Des's chest that night and powered him up over protests. It was Des; much like Alex and Luka, would that have given him pause?
"I..." He was silent for a long moment. "I might have," he admitted. He had been weaker, more foolish, then, but it was also right after his parents' murder, and he might have pushed. "And it would have been the right thing to do. You would be safer. Stronger."
A low hiss escaped him at the reminder.
"I don't want to be one of them anymore." He jerked away from Des, and started pacing back and forth. "I'm not going to run off and kneel before some damned Prince or Princess and beg them to fix me." He spat, furious at the suggestion. "And if I must replace my youma, I'll make one." find some fool civilian, or maybe a Knight or a Senshi, pump them full of Chaos and shatter them into pieces. Repurpose them.
He stopped pacing, and spun to face Des.
"I'm not stupid." He said. "I'm not going to pick a fight with a General-Sovereign or a Prince. I'm glad to know you think I am, though."
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 9:24 am
Oh.
"So... You might have forced me." Des murmured quietly. That hurt to know. "You would have intnetionally hurt me, even if I said no." Des didn't see how it was the right idea if he didn't want it.
"No. But you'll kneel before a youma." Des sneered. "Laurelite's changed." She wasn't the same, and neither was Gabriel.
"Do you even hear yourself?!" He yelled. "You'll make one? You aren't the type to stab someome in that back like that."
"You're not stupid... Just foolish. There's something wrong. You're not acting like yourself. I don't know what's wrong but please Gabriel. Come back to me." He asked. "I want to help. Please." He was begging now. Desperate.
"If I said Angel... What's the first thing that comes to mind?" He murmured. "What's my name?"
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 4:55 pm
Gabriel shrugged his shoulders. "Might have. Didn't have to. It's hardly relevant now." That was years ago. He couldn't really see why a hypothetical seemed to matter so much.
He tilted his head to the side.
"Am I not?" He asked. "I don't think you know me as well as you think you do." He narrowed his eyes, striding into his space. "And nothing is wrong with me. I feel better than I can remember feeling. I see clearer than I can remember seeing. I'm better now, but you can't - or just won't - see that."
He strode forward into Des's space, a very alarming sort of smile on his face.
"What is this, a test? Angel is the name you've always called me, the way you said I love you before you could really say it." He paused, and let out a dry little laugh. "And your name is Des, but that's not what you're looking for, is it, starshine?" It somehow managed to sound mocking. "I told you, there's nothing wrong with me. I haven't lost my memories, I'm not broken, I'm the person I always was, just better. Stronger. Crafted to be what I need to be."
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2017 6:17 pm
He didn't even care. Well then... Guess that settled that. Two could always play that game. "What about Toutatis then? Are you gonna go out now and damn Vythica because she's not one of us? She is a senshi after all. Last I checked, you fought against those..." Des sneered.
"No... I suppose I don't." Des said quietly. But that also meant that Gabriel didn't know him as well as he thought. "Something is wrong Gabriel. Though it is you who 'can't or just won't see that'." He said, spitting his boyfriends words back in his face.
When Gabriel was suddenly in his face, Des didn't so much as flinch, just stood, and took Gabriel with him. "No test, just checking." Des said softly, reaching out and pushing Gabriel's hair behind his ear. It was longer then the last time he saw it. It was funny, to think of how Gabriel, who had been frozen unable to move, had changed so much. Where as he, who had freedom, remained the same. Des wondered just who it was that had been trapped that day. The corner of his lips twitched just slightly upwards at the use of his name.
"I love you." He said, bringing his hands to cup Gabriel's face. "So much... But you... You are not him." Des paused, trying not to choke over his words. "I don't know who you are... But you are not my Gabriel... You are not my Natron... He's in there. Somewhere. I know he is... But right now... I can't." He leaned forward, kissing the young man's forehead before resting his on it for a moment. "I need to go Angel. I'm sorry, but right now this isn't working... I don't know what will happen if I stay." Des ignored the confused look the brunette gave him, and moved to kiss his temple. "I don't want you to do something you're going to regret... But I can't stay here and watch you damn yourself like this." A kiss to the cheek. "I love you Angel. Gabriel. I hope you can hear me." Finally, he kissed Gabriel on the lips. "I'm sorry... I hope you can forgive me. I'm going to make this right."
With that, Des turned on his heel and left.
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