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 Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 8:00 pm
If Mercy had realized just how useful having her license would be, she wouldn't have been so grumpy about all the driver's ed classes she'd taken. Now as she pulled into the driveway of her house - knowing full well that her parents and youngest sibling would be away - she was suddenly very thankful for being able to drive. Mostly because if they hadn't taken her car they'd of had to take the bus and with as much stuff as they had gotten Julian at the thrift store... well... "Go ahead and leave everything in the car, we'll take it to Delilah's later," She said, slipping out of the driver's seat to head toward the door. "Oh, and how do you feel about Chinese? There's a good place that delivers I can put in the order and we can talk while it comes." Talk. Yes - talk. Talk about how much a part of her wished he was dead, his general dead, and how much she wanted to exterminate the Negaverse and the monsters it spawned...
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 8:29 pm
The ride to Mercy's house was filled with delighted, innocent chatter from her passenger. Julian commented about how he was frightened that he wouldn't be able to fit in Mercy's car, much less sit in it properly. He never could fit in cars before, anyway, not with his lanky limbs and the wings growing out of his back... With gentle coaxing, Mercy described the feeling of still having the wings as being phantom - an illusion. His body was still adjusting. So gingerly did he place himself in the seat and absently, out of a habit he'd forgotten he had - reached for the seatbelt. It wasn't long before he was complimenting her car, admiring the speed at which they traveled and how the wind blowing through a cracked window fluffed his already voluminous hair. They pulled into the driveway of a home he didn't recognize, but Mercy described it as her's - her family's. Excitedly did he fumble with the car door and nearly fell out of the car without unbuckling the seatbelt. Stammering to himself, he released the latch and righted his footing with a nervous laugh. Following Mercy inside, he hoped that maybe she didn't see that fiasco. "Ch-Chinese...? Oh, I love... I love all food, Mercy. It's so n-nice to... just to, to eat. It's great. You don't have to f-feed me. I can... I can wait, until we g-get back to Delilah's. Wh-what did you... want to talk about?" He hadn't the slightest idea what was coming.
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 8:39 pm
"It's the least I can do," Mercy said softly, letting the young man into the house. She was already queuing up an order on her phone as she waited, for him to come inside. Once the door closed behind them however, she locked it behind her. She walked into the kitchen, and started to brew them some tea, getting out the sugar and setting up a place for them to sit. "Julian, take a seat," She said softly, motioning to the table at the center of the room. "We need to have a talk - I think..."
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 8:48 pm
Julian spent some time admiring the art on the walls and the plush feeling of the carpet beneath his feet. He loved that about Delilah's condo - the couch was soft, the carpet was soft, the curtains were soft... everything felt soft now that he could actually feel things. The way Mercy said they had to have a talk made Julian suddenly become incredibly nervous. He clasped his hands together and he sat gingerly where instructed. Did he do something wrong? "...wh-what... what h-happened, Mercy...?"
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 9:07 pm
"Nothing you did," Mercy said gently, trying to soften the inevitable blow. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. No - that was a lie. She WANTED to hurt him, to drive him away from her. It wasn't fair. She didn't DESERVE the young man's unconditional love and devotion. Not with what she had wanted to do to him that night. Not what part of her still wanted to do to him. She sat down on the other side of the table, across from him, hands in front of her as she watched him for a moment. "The night we purified you... I wanted to destroy you." She said - her voice flat, chilly. "Well, a part of me did - anyway. You were a monster, and monsters don't get happy endings." Her hands slowly clenched into fists, but she didn't remove her eyes from him. "I'd be lying if I said that part of me still doesn't want you dead," She said darkly. "I don't know how else to tell you this - but I'm not the girl you think I am. I'm not a good person, Julian. I don't deserve your unconditional love and affection. There is a part of me that hates you. There is an even greater part of me that hates myself for hating you." She bit her lip, and sighed deeply. "Julian, there is a part of me that wants victory at any cost. There is a part of me that would be more than happy to see you turn to dust forever - human or no. The same part of me that was so happy you came to us willing and hopeful - like a lamb to slaughter." Her knuckles were white and she could feel her nails digging into her palms. It hurt - but not nearly as badly as she was sure she was hurting him. "But the worst of it... is you remind me of Nathaniel. All I want to do is hug you - and tell you that it's going to be okay. To care for you and love you as much as you love me. But, that wouldn't be fair to either of us. Least of all to you. It would be a lie. A happy lie - but a lie." Her voice broke a bit, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm angry at myself for hurting you - for being this horrible person who isn't worthy of your affection. I'm sorry Julian. I'm sorry that a part of me still finds you repugnant and a monster - even when I know you're not." She dared not open her hands - even as she felt the nails biting into skin, threatening to draw blood. "But it's part of who I am, and I can't in good conscience live a lie."
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 9:24 pm
Julian's eyes were fixated on Mercy's - still just as blue as they were when he existed as the monster known as Bazzite. He listened, intently, though her words seared through him like hot knives. The young man could practically feel and taste the repulsion and hatred Mercy held for him and he quivered on the chair she'd asked him to sit on for this confession. He clenched his hands together tightly, until the knuckles turned white, and broke her gaze to stare down at his knees. Rocking slowly back and forth, Mercy could easily hear his breathing begin to quicken under the stress. Tears welled in his eyes, as much as he wished they wouldn't. It took a few moments of shivering before Julian could find his voice to answer her. "...it's... it's o-okay, Mercy... it's... I don't... I don't hate you," came a shaky reply, Julian finding himself unable to raise his eyes to meet Mercy's cold gaze. Shame washed over him in waves and his blood ran cold. The scrutiny and hatred was nigh unbearable - but he felt he deserved it. "...you... I app-ppreciate you... and the rest of the c-court.. f-for doing what, what you did. B-but..." With a deep and shivering breath, Julian forced himself to look up and into Mercy's eyes. Had she been pretending the whole time at the thrift store? Julian's cheeks were pink from exertion and stress and sniffling. "...I... I h-hate my...myself, too... I... don't know everything I... I did, as a m-monster and... I h-hate that... that I can't f-fix it... I w-want to repent s-s-so bad and... and make s-sure I... don't s-s-squander your gift... but... if... If I m-make you and... you and the others... angry... t-then... then..." Julian was forced to swallow to continue, lest his thoughts become a mess of emotions and his words unintelligible. "....th-then you c-can... can kill me... it's o-okay... I under... understand... I won't f-fight you... I p-promise... even if you... you hate me, I... I still... love you... th-thank you..."
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 9:47 pm
"....th-then you c-can... can kill me... it's o-okay... I under... understand... I won't f-fight you... I p-promise... even if you... you hate me, I... I still... love you... th-thank you..."Each of his words hit her like a blow. Each the cut of a knife against her heart. That dark part of her mind crowed in victory, her fingers twitched. It would be so easy - she could make it look like an accident... So easy to tell the girls, to sob that she hadn't been able to stop him - how tragic... Her stomach flipped, churned, and spun. Where is your HONOR Sabine?It was an intrusive thought - full of fire and anger. Her form jolted from it as it roared loudly in her head. The wrath rocked her, sent her reeling away from it like bellow of a wrathful god. She found herself standing, body shaking as she watched him. She wanted to yell at him, to scream at him that she hated him and that he should just drink poison and die. But, she could not form words. Her mouth opened and shut several times - but no sound came out. Her body shook and she felt a warring wash of emotions running over her. Then she was standing on a balcony, looking down over rows of uniformed men and women, armed and arrayed for battle. Her own uniform freshly pressed, her blade heavy on her hip... There was no hatred - no rage in her. A cool head - the mind of a tactician. She could not hear what she said to the people below on the balcony - but she was speaking - and they looked up at her with adoration and pride...And then she was looking at Julian - who bore the same look, even through his tearful eyes... Her knees gave out, and she sank to the floor. Her chest heaving, her body shaking as the battle inside her turned in full favor for one side over the other. The only sound coming from her as she sat there was rough, throaty sobs. By the time she was done, she sat there, shaking. Before finally looking up at Julian. Her grey eyes were ringed with red, and her voice was cracked and hoarse. "Julian... Help me up, please?" She asked, voice broken and weak. Her eyes no longer held anger - or hatred. "I need your help..."
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 10:01 pm
He panicked, breaking his hands from each other to drop to his knees on the plush carpet when Mercy had fallen. He hadn't spoken a word as he brushed the tears from his eyes, if only to see Mercy better. Long and lanky arms scooped her up, just as one would a precious child, and held her close. Julian was cold from stress and shame, but he held the redhead as gently as he could manage. Cradling Mercy in his arms, the young man's heart raced in his chest. He held no hostility towards Mercy. He was afraid for her. Afraid she was dying. He hooked his chin over her head, cradling her against his chest, and rocked her slowly back and forth. Delilah did this when he awoke from bloodstained nightmares of deep, dark places, of endless nights and endless bodies. When he awoke, screaming from the pain, she held him close. She would rock him back and forth, and sing a gentle tune. Though his voice quivered and shook, Julian repeated what he could remember, in hopes it would bring Mercy comfort. Lullaby, and... g-good night,
In the s-skies... s-stars are bright.
May the moon's.... silver...y b-beams
bring you s-sweet dreams.....
C-close your eyes now a-and rest...
m....may these hours.... be blessed...
T-Til the s-sky's bright.... with dawn....
w-when you wake... with a... yawn...Even if he could remember the rest of the song, Julian couldn't think straight enough to repeat it. He simply held Mercy in his arms, overwhelmed with the hope that she was okay.
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2017 10:13 pm
When he'd come to her, and held her close to him, and sang, she'd relaxed into his form. Her fingers had gripped his shirt, and she had buried her face into his chest. She had sat there silent, her throat pained her from her sobbing and she barely had the energy to stand. It had all drained out of her when the tide had turned. She had stared into the abyss - and had found that her honor had won the day. No, not her honor. Sabine's honor. She did not deserve Julian. None of them did. Nobody did. He was too pure for the world he had been reborn into. Thrust naked and alone and afraid into a war that he shouldn't have had to face in the first place. But she knew now - that she had to protect him. "Thank you," She managed to croak out. Her voice was blown and she knew it. The tea would help that, of course, but she'd worry about that when it was ready. She'd pull out a bit of honey to help as well. "Julian... I'm sorry if what I said hurt you," She began. "But know that I love you, and that I would die for you if I had to." She knew that now. "Whatever evils you committed... You can atone. You can always atone. But only if you live. It doesn't matter if people hate you - you can't fix things when you are dead. No matter what - you have to fight to live, Julian. Promise me that." "Promise me, no matter what - you will fight to survive. Because you deserve to live."
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 7:48 am
"...n-no, no dying... just... I love you, M-Mercy. Just... don't die and... have c-cupcakes, instead." Or Chinese food, which may have been on the way. If Mercy thought he could atone, Julian would do everything in his power to do just that. He would work harder every day to become well enough to function and start to repent for the horrendous atrocities he committed while trapped in the body of a giant locust. Who knew how many families he torn apart to feed his hunger? How many senshi and knights were destroyed? Julian couldn't think about it right now. It made his heart and soul ache, and Mercy needed him right now. "....s'okay, Mercy...." came a whisper, the gentle rocking continuing. The redhead's voice was ragged and he knew what it was like to be overwhelmed by memories. He didn't blame her in the slightest for wanting to kill him. "D-do you... feel better? Wh-what can I do...?"
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 6:48 pm
Mercy laughed - well more croaked, and then coughed painfully - before resting her head on his chest. "Only if you make them," She said gently. "Then sure." They still had time before the food arrived. She realized that this... current position could have been easily misconstrued - but as she didn't expect anyone to come home any time soon, she didn't rush to right herself. Though, the tea kettle started to whistle, and that was her cue to gently pull away from Julian, and move to pour the tea. She took care to add honey to hers - because she was going to need it if she wanted to even remotely have a voice later. "I'll be okay now - thank you," She said gently. "The darkness has passed, and..." Words have power - and you cannot take back what has already been said. You can't deny what you said was true. Keep your honor."... I'm sorry if anything I said hurt you. I want to work with you - to push past that." She said gently, laying the tea cups on the table. "I want to help you to atone - and feel better about being human. That way we can both find peace."
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 7:20 pm
Julian moved out of the way so Mercy could stand, eyes following her as she wandered into the kitchen to tend to the howling teapot. Fingers wound together in anxiety and Julian shifted his weight back and forth. "....s'okay, M-mercy. I don't... blame you for... h-hating me... s-something, like me. Like... what I was... n-nnnn... I hope I'm n-not that ever again, I just..." He couldn't help but sniffle again, looking down at his hands out of shame. He deserved to be hurt, to feel shame, to have someone wish death upon him. Rebirth or not, he still had blood on his hands. On his soul.Tears started to well in his eyes and Julian fidgeted. "...I j-just... it's o-okay to... to hurt me because... I d-deserve it..." He wanted peace, but felt he didn't deserve it. Not yet. He had too much to repent for before he could even think about peace, let alone anything loftier than that. "I'm... I'm sorry, Mercy..."
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 7:37 pm
Once the tea was safely tabled, Mercy moved back to Julian, she reached up and grabbed him by the ear - twisting it lightly. Not enough to really hurt, but enough to get his attention. It was something her mother had done to her when she had been younger. It had certainly worked with her at any rate. "Juilan, I want you to listen to what I'm about to say, because it is VERY important, do you understand?" She said, her voice terse. She waited for a nod or reply of understanding before she continued. "I hated what you WERE not what you ARE. You used to be Bazzite. Now you are Julian White. You are not the monster you once were. I had to come to grips with that, and I have. You are a human being - and you deserve to be treated as such. That means that you DO NOT deserve to be hurt for what you did as Bazzite. You DO NOT deserve hatred and scorn for what you did as Bazzite. You aren't Bazzite. You are Julian. If you want to repent for your actions as Bazzite - nobody is going to stop you. But it's not expected of you." Her voice was firm, almost chiding. "I don't want to hear another apology for what you did - or for being evil. You have nothing to be sorry for. I am the one who is sorry. I am the one who should be apologizing to you - for putting my baggage on you. It was unfair of me. You're going to come to find that life is very unfair though - and perhaps it is better that I am the one teaching you this lesson instead of a stranger..." She added a bit darkly. "Julian - you have done nothing wrong. You have been a better human being than any of the four of us who helped you escape the Negaverse - I can guarantee it. Well, okay - except for maybe Sitara, because that girl might be an actual Saint - but that's beside the point." "To be human... is to mess up. We make mistakes. We say we're sorry - we move on. We try not to make the same mistake again." She said - more to herself probably than him. "This is me telling you that I... messed up. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I can't say it was an accident because it was totally on purpose. I thought I could love you out of spite - but turns out that's not the best way to go about doing things. It's prone to break down the minute you start being nice to me." "So if you have it in your boundless heart to forgive me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said mean things to you. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that there was a part of me that wanted you to die. It's done. I'm over it. If you want to tell the other girls that I was a big-mean-ole-jerkface then feel free. I deserve any and all the heck I'll get from that." She added with a sigh. "I don't think they'll understand where I was coming from - and if they do... well anyway that's not important. I'm not asking you to keep this a secret because I deserve to be put on the carpet for it. I messed up." Because I'm a young, stupid girl, who's in way over her head...
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:01 pm
The young man whined when fingers closed on his delicate ear and twisted. The look he gave to Mercy after the fact was something akin to a puppy that had just been kicked. Julian looked crushed momentarily, but listened intently to what Little Big Sister had to say. "...s'okay, Mercy. I'll... help carry the... the baggage. Just like the... thrift store." Julian giggled for a few moments, indicating that he was making a joke. To be human is to mess up. We make mistakes.Yes, he'd made many mistakes. Julian fell at home, sometimes he forgot words or left food out on the counter and it spoiled. He would misunderstand someone speaking to him, or overreact and embarrass Delilah. Sometimes he would be awakened by soul-crushing nightmares of deep, dark places and shriek until Delilah was there to calm him. He'd made many mistakes as a human. He would make more. But Mercy? "...m'not... a better human, than any of you. N-not you or... mom or... Delilah, or S-sita. I just... the good... that I do... I learned from all of you. I... I watch you, so I can remember... how to do things. How to be. And... I w-wasn't mad... when you... said those things. I w-won't tell, and because I... wasn't mad, I guess..." Julian stopped for a moment, twiddling his fingers in contemplation. It was still so, so relieving to have more fingers than before. "...I f-forgive you... I love you, Mercy. Can I... wash the uni... unicorn, for you, please? It would... make me feel like I was... was helping." With a few wobbly nods, Julian seemed right as rain, satisfied and relieved.
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:10 pm
He is too pure for this world - from monster to saint - and all we had to do was give him the choice... May they all be this easy.Mercy wanted to cry, but she held back the tears for now. She smiled at his joke, even managed a small giggle of her own. "Well, if you are as good as you were in the thrift store - then we won't have a problem," She said warmly, placing her hand lightly on his arm. At the question of washing the unicorn she smiled, and had to wipe her eyes again because the tears started to flow of their own accord. "Y-yeah, you can do that," she said with a small nod, before giving him a hug. "You know - you're really too nice, Julian." Then the doorbell rang, and Mercy wiped at her eyes a bit harder. "That's lunch. So I'll tell you what. After we're done eating, you can wash the unicorn - and I'll even let you give him a name - he'll mean more that way... Unless he's a she." She said with a smile. "I'll even let you put him/her on my bed when he/she dries." She added with a smile. "That way you can see my whole collection." With that, she moved to answer the door - not wanting to keep the driver waiting.
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