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Amarantha had thought of texting Cambria, or maybe even Cass, maybe talking to someone not family would help? But she didn't want to bother her with issues she need not be concerned with. And really, if she thought about it, maybe that was why she talked to no one about any of her problems in life.

She didn't want to bother people with her problems.

Who wanted to deal with some mess of a person who couldn't move pass the death of her mother? It had been five years since the death of her mother surely she should have moved on by now? Maybe if she was a better person, a more put together person.

Cellphone held in her hand, she stared out across the city from where she'd put herself on the roof top of her apartment complex. Sometimes heights made her feel better, sometimes it made it worse.

"You could jump and no one would ever know until they found you."

The grip on her phone tightened just a little as she tried to shove that thought into a little box. Where she shoved every bad thought she'd ever had. Clearly this was a healthy coping mechanism, right? What were healthy coping mechanisms anyway?

Still she probably should have moved herself from the edge of the building instead of sitting down on it but here she was. And if she were lucky,
there she went.

"It's not terrible, I guess," was the reply, a little distant but seemingly not bothered by the new presence. She did offer the woman a look from where she was seated, feet dangling over the side of the ledge.

Luckily she'd done this so many times she wasn't concerned as to whether she'd fall or not. She didn't think the woman was willing to give her a helping push though.

Golden eyes were a little on the dull side as she took in the knight's face (she was assuming a knight of some sort as she didn't look to be dressed like a senshi) and soon they were back to looking out over the city.

"It's a night, if nothing else."

She felt bad about this woman wasting time and energy on her, especially when it meant she would be taking that time away from her own daughter. She should be home with her, not consoling some... pathetic teenager who couldn't move on from the death of her mother even five years after. The grip on her cellphone tightened again, the only outword sign of anything being wrong.

If you ignored how dead her voice sounded, how dead her gaze looked. A living zombie, or as close to it as one could get.

"You shouldn't be wasting your time on me." The hand holding her phone moved to rest against the brick she sat on, making a noize as the object papped against it. "There's no saving someone as useless as me."

She could have jumped but couldn't bring herself to do as such with this woman watching. The guilt could have ate a hole in her stomach from how horrible the thought was.

"There's nothing that can be done unless you know how to bring back the dead."

She hadn't planned on answering any of her questions, hoping to make her go away but. But there was this tiny little voice that had taken hold of the woman's caring and hadn't wanted to let go. There was the vague wonder on if it was because the woman was a mother but Amarantha wasn't going to put much thought into that.

Stil, she had yet to push the woman off, so maybe there was a little bit of hope.

"My mom," she croaked out, wanting to stop this discussion and being unable to. She could already feel the stinging of tears she thought she was done crying.

"She-... she was killed five years ago, I was old enough that I shouldn't be struggling so bad with her death. This is all so stupid!"

Maybe she was being too hard on herself, the death of a parent wasn't easy in the least and with the woman having been Amarantha's entire world. Perhaps it only made sense it hurt so much. Not that the young woman would allow herself that comfort.

"They called it a crime of passion," she spoke softly minutes later, golden eyes closing as tears burned down her cheeks. "Mom's ex just couldn't handle that the relationship was over and attacked her in her clothing store. I came home to a crime scene."

A startled squeak, almost like a bird's chirp, was pulled from the pink haired young woman as she was pulled into the other woman's lap, golden eyes wide in surprise. She... she hadn't expected such an action? If anything she expected the woman to agree with her, that she needed to stop struggling to accept something that had happened oh so many years ago.

How was it this woman could make it seem okay that she was still grieving? Why did she even care? Was it because she was a mother? That thought seemed silly, if only because her grandmother had once been a mother, wouldn't she have been able to help?

Maybe she could have, if she'd just let her know she'd been struggling for so long.

"Mama was my everything," she sniffled out, voice breaking but refusing to stop talking. "It was just her and me for the longest time and now there's so much... she'll never get to see me do. So much she'll never get to know."

A hand moved to wipe at her cheeks though the tears refused to stop flowing. It was annoying to be crying all over again but it seemed... different this time.

"Not... not that she could ever know I'm a senshi but..." Oh that should have been left a secret too, maybe. Too late now. "All I wanted to do was to make her proud, to be as amazing as she was. I couldn't even be there to save her from dying. How can I protect a city? How can I protect a planet even?!"

Useless...

"Abuela said the same thing. That there would have been nothing I could have done in that situation, that it could have been both of us she lost instead of just my mother... But what if I could have saved mama? I think constantly that I would have been happy to die if it meant mama could have been saved, if she could still be here to be the amazing and talented woman she was."

But then her mother would have been left to mourn her daughter who's life would have ended too soon. Neither option would have been ideal honestly...

"I am... it's such a weird thing to be the senshi of," a slight laugh though she couldn't tell if there was any sort of emotion attached to it. "There's at least one person who knows who I am, she's kind of my friend? Though we don't talk often."

She ducked her head some, frowning.

"I'm bad at talking to people. I'm bad at talking about myself, really. I.. .don't want to be a bother to people. I guess that's why I didn't tell anyone in my family how much of a struggle this has been lately. That it got so bad I swore I could see my mother around the house. How pathetic..."

Golden eyes looked up at the knight a moment, almost as if she were trying to ignore what she'd just admitted aloud. "But maybe you should talk to your daughter about it one day. If only so that maybe she knows... and be prepared if things go wrong in this fight for the planet."

"Pegasuses. Pegasi?" Her brows furrowed in thought a moment before she gave a helpless shrug. "Winged horses. Apparently my attack ups agility or something." While the wing effect was cool she still didn't quite understand how it came back to pegasi but it was what it was.

"I... appreciate the offer but as far as staying over, that will need some thought." Having someone else to talk to would be nice though. "I suppose I should talk to my grandparents about what's going on. And maybe suck it up and stop avoiding my sister and my dads..."

Hands had moved to scrub nails through her hair in frustration, mostly at herself. She had so many peope she could have turned to! She shouldn't have reached a point where a stranger had to talk her down. Not that she regretted it entirely...

"Ah... I wouldn't mind knowing how it turns out but don't push yourself to do something you might not be ready for." A small, barely there smile as she returned the hug. It was something at least, in the right direction one could hope. Then there was an interruption from her stomach at the mention of food and the teen turned bright with embarrassment.

"I... think I wouldn't mind coming over for dinner." Lord knows she couldn't remember the last thing she'd eaten recently. "If it's not too much trouble."