((Discord rp log.))

Lys: Just like gets very sad like its about money
Ros : It's about you having sex with someone else
That's what's different
I told you it wasn't about money
Lys: ???
Lys: ...when?
Roswell: You HAVEN'T, you just made it clear that you planned to and I don't have a say in it.
Roswell: Because I'm not involved.
Roswell: In that part of your life.
Lys: You aren't.
Lys: I had a wife and you didn't care?
Lys: How much do you want to control things.
Roswell: We weren't having sex when you had a wife.
Lys: -makes a face at sex even being mentioned -
Lys: Whatever happened to just not talking about it.
Roswell: Fine!!!
Roswell: We'll go back to not talking about it!!!
Roswell: You'll go back to doing what you want!
Roswell: And I don't know where I'll go.
Lys: This is because I ******** everything up.
Lys: I ******** every single thing up for both of us for ever.
Lys: Do whatever you need to I guess.
Roswell: It's because you felt pressured to show that we weren't in a relationship because of what I said while that stupid ring was on.
Lys: We never should have played that game.
Lys: I was happy.
Roswell: -face in his hands- I was too.
Roswell: I don't want you having sex with other people. I mean, maybe it would be alright, in the future, together. But I feel miserable about it now. I do want to date. And I do want to keep on being your assistant. ...That's how I feel.
Lys: I am not dating.
Lys: I already told you that.
Roswell: -face still in his hands- Yes. Several times.
Lys: And I don't see how me doing things now is different than me doing things before.
Lys: I didn't realise that by sleeping with you at the party I was signing a lifelong agreement
Lys: And you are just saying the maybe in the future thing to coax me into taking your deal and then its off the table. I know business.
Roswell: It's just how I feel about it. I can't help that. I'm not trying to contract you into anything.
Lys: Well your feelings suck.
Lys: I have to put my feelings away all the time.
Lys: Maybe you need to stop letting yours rule your decisions.
Roswell: You asked what was making me upset, and I've told you. If you've decided it's nonconsequential, I'll...deal with it alone.
Lys: I don't think its nonconsequential its just ridiculous and asking a lot of me for no reason.
Lys: What we had before was fine.
Roswell: Not no reason.
Roswell: Yes, but you've changed it.
Lys: And what we had before I'd still have slept with people.
Roswell: But you hadn't.
Lys: At no point did I ever say to you it was exclusive.
Roswell: No, but we were.
Lys: Just incidentally!
Lys: Does that mean this would have happened
Lys: Even if the ring had not?
Roswell: The ring was the reason you got it into your head to do in the first place! I thought!!
Roswell: But if not then yes, this all would have happened anyway.
Lys: I guess it would have then, I don't think the ring had that much to do with it.
Lys: Other than embarrassing me wilfully.
Lys: By having me say I was gay in front of a crowd of hostile strangers.
Roswell: -waving a hand- You are. And I'm in love with you. It's been said.
Lys: I am NOT.
Lys: I don't care what it said.
Lys: And I always knew you were in love with me!
Lys: I knew it all along!
Lys: It just didn't matter because things were more complicated than that.
Lys: You always treat me badly in front of groups of people.
Lys: And I don't know why it is.
Lys: You know I'm a private quiet man and just because you aren't.
Roswell: -stiffly- Being gay isn't offensive.
Lys: I get things paraded around.
Lys: Yes it is.
Lys: To me it is, its not something I want associated with me.
Lys: I don't want anyone to know anything about my sex life or my sexual inclinations.
Lys: I'd have been offended if you'd made me admit I was straight or that I was into bondage.
Roswell: I could have asked you some offensive things, but I wouldn't do that to you.
Lys: And now everyone just sees me as a joke.
Lys: A fake joke of a boss who wants to sleep with his personal assistant in a wholly unprofessional manner.
Lys: And whose inability to pay is just another joke.
Roswell: The fact that you feel it's offensive and a joke is the only thing reflecting negatively on you.

Lys: I don't want a personal life.
Lys: I want work.
Lys: I want business, I want everything professional and I just don't' want to deal with anything else.
Roswell: -a little more levelly- and I'd like to renegotiate our contract and my payment going forward, in acceptance of our situation.
Lys: /distressed look
Roswell: I'd like half your salary.
Roswell: Per pay period.
Roswell: You don't have to worry about backpay, regarding my old salary. Just honoring the revised amount.
Lys: Whatever you want
Roswell: ...I just don't want you to be broke forever, trying to afford me. ...This is our situation now. I feel like that's a fair negotiation.
Lys: Half of zero is still zero.
Roswell: We'll get paid again.
Roswell: Listen, Lysander.
Roswell: We've been changed on a biological level.
Roswell: It's as if we were in a very dark room, stumbling through all variety of horrors.
Roswell: And now we've suddenly been given new eyes, that project bright lights, and can see those dangers.
Roswell: ....But now all those horrors see is the pinpoint of very visible light.
Lys: Yes I know its all dangerous and things will kill us, I got that the first 30 times people told me that.
Roswell: Then you understand that regulations aren't what's keeping us here. It's the nature of what we are.
Lys: I'm aware.
Roswell: I'm sorry for causing so much stress. I've been stressed.
Lys: It's fine.
Roswell: ...I won't leave you.
Lys: /skeptical nod-

***
B -Lys would just not be capable of much talking or much of anything when he got back.
He'd be kind of locked down and quiet
and would just be like /goes to sort out his hair
T -Roswell would help him get ready for bed
T -if he was allowed
B -He'd be like /shower, changes and then just sits and spends ages brushing it dry
T - And then awkwardly ask him where he'd like him to sleep
B - All in a relative silence
He'd just be like anywhere you want.
Which would be pretty markedly different from being told
where he was sleeping
T - He'd be like, I prefer with you, sir.
B - He'd just be like ok
It'd all just be that kind of
madly teetering veneer of self control like
everything slow and careful like it's made of glass
concerned he'd shatter his self control somehow
T -Roswell would just be concerned and burdened and tired
T - Roswell's just very stretched out
and Fred coming back plus Lys being like I'm going to start sleeping with other people and maybe stop sleeping with you
he just isn't handling it well at all
***

B - Lys is like I didn't say stop sleeping with you that's all you.
Roswell: You weren't sleeping with me while you were married.
Lys: I thought about it.
Lys: I just figured you'd lecture me if I even tried.
Roswell: I would have.
Roswell: But you choosing to marry someone else at this point-
Roswell: I don't think I'd handle it very well. I'm not handling this very well either.
Lys: No kidding.
Lys: I gave Merric a week to decide if he wanted to sleep with me. /shrug - Because he's a virgin and I don't want to take someone's virginity.
Lys: I want him to say no.
Roswell: -flinching and gripping the bed-
Roswell: So you'd, what. Take him here.
Lys: No, not here obviously.
Lys: I'm not even that interested in sex I guess. I don't know what I'd do.
Lys: I just want things to be organised again.
Roswell: To prove a point to me.
Roswell: If you want us to see other people, then we both can.
Lys: That's the no sex option isn't it.
Roswell: It depends on what the people we were seeing thought.
Lys: Why would those other people's opinion matter?
Roswell: But dating generally tends to be exclusive, yes.
Lys: I'm /not dating/.
Lys: Not anyone, not ever.
Roswell: I would be.
Lys: It'd just be back to.
Lys: How it was
Lys: Just wanting you but not being able to have you.
Roswell: I'd much rather be dating you, obviously.
Lys: I don't do dating.
Lys: I don't do any of that sappy nonsense.
Lys: You know that better than anyone.
Roswell: I know. And I told you I wouldn't expect it.
Roswell: ...I would just like to be someone who's opinion on your love and sex life mattered.
Roswell: Rather than each of us handling our business with out involving the other. -fist clenching around his pillow again- Or in my case, arranging it so your other relationships went smoothly, while I-
Roswell: Why does the idea of a relationship become so repulsive, when it's me?
Lys: I'm just. I'm really ******** up right now, pardon the swearing.
Lys: Because I..
Lys: I don't want to lose you.
Lys: When its random people who cares if they leave, who cares if it happens?
Lys: And maybe it will.
Lys: Because it /did/.
Lys: It happened and I never saw it coming
Roswell: I have always been faithful to you.
Lys: So was Sandra.
Lys: -tensed and with his hands shaking-
Lys: Right up until she /wasnt/
Roswell: That...deteriorated over a long portion of time, and you both struggled in...many areas of your relationship, from the start.
Roswell: She was your wife, but she wasn't...by your side.
Lys: Can you cover your eyes?
Lys: It's weird but. It's just. Easier.
Roswell: ...Alright. They're covered.
Lys: /relaxing a bit- I just. I don't know. I'm.. I'm just really scared Thomas. Really, really scared. I don't belong here, I can't cope or thrive here. I'm coming apart at the seams and I can't deal with it.
Lys: I'm just.. I feel half crazed with terror at the thought of losing you, but at the same time I'm afraid of looking too dependent on you around them either. I don't know what to do. I'm so completely and utterly lost.
Roswell: I know you're out of your element.
Roswell: And I also know that you believe things happen for a reason.
Roswell: This...isn't too far of a stretch from my old element.
Roswell: Barring all the magic. Which is your area of expertise.
Lys: Not this magic.
Lys: And how can I lead? How can I be in control and in charge.
Lys: If only you have your bearings?
Lys: I'm just not okay, more not okay than I have ever been.
Lys: I killed some sea thing today and that was the first thing I've ever killed.
Lys: It felt more horrible than anything I've ever done.
Lys: I hate it here.
Roswell: They can't die.
Roswell: They're made of energy. They reform around it. And even if they can't reform, they're still...around, sir. You still haven't killed anyone, or anything.
Lys: I've completely ruined our friendship with Merric too I don't doubt.
Roswell: And you're still the same kind, and open, and frustrating person I owe my own life to.
Lys: I don't know how I do all this.
Roswell: Merric just doesn't want to be alone either.
Lys: There's nothing kind about me.
Roswell: You gave me a chance. Nobody else would.
Lys: I am just a useless reject from a highly efficient family. No use as a businessman and evidently no use as a hunter which is why they even chose my blood
Roswell: You aren't. I've never thought of you that way.
Roswell: We've always managed together before.
Lys: I am just so incredibly distressed at the idea of dating.
Lys: And even more distressed at the idea of people knowing anything.
Lys: I don't ever want to talk to anyone about my sex life.
Roswell: What horrors are you imagining, exactly?
Lys: No one would CARE.
Lys: I just would.
Lys: I live my life a certain way.
Lys: And that is not how I do it.
Roswell: Dating-wise, I meant.
Roswell: I don't mind it going unsaid, outside of here.
Lys: I'm imagining things from movies.
Lys: Awkward dinners, walks, saccharine nonsense with awkwardness
Lys: Nothing that I -like-
Roswell: We have all of our dinners and walks together already.
Roswell: Without the universe collapsing in on itself.
Lys: Those aren't dates is the difference.
Lys: I'd be fine if dating was like everything else.
Lys: Not spoken about or addressed.
Roswell: I would be entirely comfortable with that.
Lys: Fine I guess.
Roswell: I told you, I didn't want anything in our interactions to be different.
Roswell: I just didn't like the idea that...that part of our lives was seperate from each other.
Lys: /huffy shrug
Roswell: ...What's the matter now?
Lys: Its just been a lot of really taxing things.
Lys: Maybe things will be different.
Lys: I don't feel in control any longer.
Lys: I don't feel like I'm the boss.
Roswell: -a little peevishly- Do you feel more that way with Merric?
Lys: What? No. He's just someone who wants attention no matter what. I just feel like a creep around him honestly. Like I’m taking advantage
Lys: I don't feel in control in those situations either.
Lys: I used to feel in control with you though, it was very erotic.
Roswell: Well. I agree there.
Roswell: But I am a hired servant who, by choice, is very faithful to you.
Roswell: If you're looking for absolute and unquestioning obedience, that's never been a part of our relationship.
Lys: I don't want absolute and unquestioning obedience. You've just been rude to me, snide to me, asked me uncomfortable questions and pushed my boundaries on several occaisions.
Lys: I've felt pretty humiliated by it, that's not obedience of any sort.
Roswell: My public tone.
Lys: Yes.
Lys: It's hard to be inclined to want to play the part of power when you don't feel you have much respect or power in the first place.
Lys: But I don't know. I'm too tired to dwell on this.
Roswell: Ah...hah, you mean, it's um, effecting your libido as well.
Roswell: You are still paying me. Once we have access to funds, under the conditions I submitted.
Roswell: And I do enjoy submitting to you.
Lys: I know. You'll get your money.
Lys: And yes, it is.
Lys: Affecting my libido.
Lys: Its partially why the thought of less challenging targets was even something I entertained.
Lys: But it wasn't the same either.
Roswell: ):
Lys: So maybe its just me.
Lys: I don't want to be a joke.
Roswell: You're not to me.
Lys: /skeptical snort
Roswell: You're still my employer. I'm sorry if I've been too familiar.
Roswell: Even when work and everything got stressful, it was still...an environment we both knew.
Lys: it wasn't really.
Roswell: I suppose I haven't been at my best either.
Lys: I didn't know anything about work.
Lys: And I don't know anything about here.
Lys: I'd just prefer you didn't do things to tear me down.
Lys: In front of strangers.
Lys: I'm already a laughing stock.
Lys: While they like you.
Roswell: Alright.
Lys: You don't stand to gain much more off it.
Roswell: ...What...would you like me to do?
Roswell: I never cared about their opinions.
Lys: Part of the problem there I guess.
Roswell: Only ever yours. I was only ever talking to you. I suppose that's why the rest of them were easy to ignore. And why I ended up embarrassing you.
Lys: I just want people to not even like me.
Lys: But to tolerate I exist without reminding me constantly that I am some failure.
Lys: Or attacking me for "dragging you" down with me.
Roswell: Then you'll need to show actively that you are a team member and willing to put forward philanthropic efforts.
Lys: No way.
Lys: Never mind.
Roswell: Sir, I have thought about this a lot.
Roswell: When you're wealthy, needing help and favors from others...is viewed as generous. Your dependency is a gesture of goodwill, because...you're distributing that wealth, and ungrudgingly. And that was always a lifestyle and characteristic that suited you very well. You were never a spendthrift, and were always appreciative to those who helped you, in that fashion.
Lys: Yes! These poor people are the problem.
Lys: They don't understand.
Roswell: But without that resource to distribute, asking for help and favors becomes a burden instead, and you're given a more unfavorable view.
Roswell: That's why giving out help and favors is the only currency left to offer.
Lys: Then leave me to my pit of social loathing.
Roswell: If...you think that's what you'd like to do.
Lys: Yes.
Lys: Right now though I've had a taxing night and my hair is now dry, I am going to sleep.
Lys: You will sleep here and can uncover your eyes.
Roswell: ...alright.
Roswell: Thank you, sir.