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 Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2017 8:09 pm
The last week or so had been hellish in Zach's head. He'd gone to work nothing short of a zombie, lacking the usual jovial irreverence he was known for. He was out of touch, sedated, depressed. The work day had come and gone in a blur Zach hardly seemed to notice. His father was concerned, checking on him frequently. The only explanation Zach would offer was, I ruined everything. Nothing could change the fact that Gale had saved his life, though now he started questioning whether or not she should have. All he seemed to succeed in is disappointing her. He hadn't dared send a text to her, not since leaving after the accusation of trying to get her killed. It was cowardly on his part. Zach had the sickly feeling no amount of apologizing for his blunder would have made any difference. Rolling over in his bed with a heavy sigh, he hadn't even bothered to take his work polo off. His stupid nametag still clung to it and he didn't care. Blood felt like it had been replaced with ice, his fingers shaking as he gingerly tapped out a message to her. Maybe he was blocked. Maybe she wouldn't answer. He didn't know, but he owed her something. Quote: hey gale, its me, the biggest loser in the world im not very good with words but i'll try i know its been like a week or something. i dunno, it's all kind of a blur. i can't sleep, eating is really hard. i f#cked up again and i owe you an apology for leaving like that. i shouldnt have done that. disappointed you again pizza and flowers dont fix that shouldnt have gone to you powered up, i didnt even think about that #sshole epi finding you that way. i shoulda thought more but i didnt. was too excited to see you again to think. stupid i know and its no excuse for putting someone in danger i didnt mean it but that doesnt matter when the threats real like that really you gotta lot going on, youre smart and pretty and going to school to help people and you think about others before yourself. i mean you did give energy to the negaverse so it would save other people. i admire you for that, for what its worth sorry for taking so long. gotta get my head straight enough to think, disappointed you again. really you deserve a lot better than some loser like me. i wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to see me again. messed up too much too often youre a mighty fine chick, gale. it doesnt mean much coming from me, probably but... you taught me a lot hope you dont hate me but id understand if you did. i hate me too. you didnt deserve that -z Even after hitting send, he knew he couldn't sleep. For once, Zach actively reached for the cat he knew was there and snuggled him close, deeply sighing.
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:02 pm
Gale had only started charging her cell phone after getting Evan’s number…after he told her to call or text him if she ever needed to talk, no matter what time it was. And sometimes, he would text her pictures of cute, small animals just to make sure she was still okay. Still there.
It was good to have such a friend…such an unexpected friend.
So, when her phone buzzed, she reached out for it, expecting to see a fat cat, or a stupid dog or a long eared bunny…but instead she saw a very long text from Zach.
Oh.
For a moment, the girl’s throat felt as though it was closing, the room seemed to spin. No. She had to just take a breath and…not think about this. That’s all. She read the message once. Twice. And on the third time her feelings were bouncing between anger and that depression that didn’t seem to life for anything.
Finally, finally after twenty minutes or so of agonizing, she sent him back a message.
Quote: Zach, I wish you would stop demeaning yourself like that. All it does is…well. It doesn’t matter what it does. But it’s really hard to focus on what you’re trying to say. There’s a lot that we could talk about, but trash talking you isn’t a topic that helps either of us. I’m not sure if you’re trying to make me think those things about you or if you think that’s an explanation for what happened, but I think...Nevermind. It doesn’t matter. I’m not sure what you hope to hear from me. But I’m not closing communication.
Not yet, at least.
With a sigh, she got up and made her way to her darkened bedroom, flopping face first in the bed. She had no idea if he was going to reply or not. No idea where he wanted this to go.
She hesitated for a moment and sent him one more text.
Quote: Also, please don’t call me a chick. That’s…I don’t like that term. I’m an educated woman who had wanted to be a nurse. When you call me a chick, it makes me think that you think of me as some five dollar hooker.
Okay…so that might have been a little too much…but…
She was still upset.
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Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:01 pm
Eyes glazed over and he sighed deeply, tossing head heavily back onto the pillow after reading her messages. What was wrong with him, exactly? Why did he keep messing everything up? He tried to say one thing, maybe flagellate himself to make Gale feel better, and it kept backfiring. A hand reached up to smack himself in the face. He had to think about this next one, and not mess it up like some stupid lovestruck teenager. This time, he tried to keep capitalization in mind. Maybe it was time to be a little bit more mature, even through text message. Quote: I’m sorry my use of the word “chick” makes you think I believe you’re some five-dollar hooker. I don’t, and… I won’t use that anymore, especially if it makes you feel like that. It wasn’t meant that way, but… I’ll try my best to break the habit. Well, one thing down. He stopped sounding less like himself when he wrote that was. Or, was it…? Zach never considered himself particularly smart or brave or articulate. He wasn’t particularly well-read, he didn’t have incredibly wholesome hobbies. Hell, the boy didn’t have anything to his name other than an old beater car and a high school diploma. Why would somebody like Gale waste her time with him, anyway? She had goals and aspirations - she attended college. Really, what was he thinking? When he broke it down into its simplest form… The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Gale was doing him a favor, and was grossly out of his league.Who was he to think he was good enough for her? Staring up into the ceiling, there weren’t words the boy could use to describe the sinking feeling in his stomach and the ice filling his veins. He’d made such incredible mistakes without even realizing it. He ran around with his head jammed so far up his a**, he hadn’t realized he wasn’t fourteen anymore, and these stupid high school thug tactics were best left behind - in the school he graduated from. After a few more minutes, he turned over, and tried his damnedest to articulate his point to her. Quote: You’re right. I don’t know what I hoped to hear from you. You made me realize I never matured past like… ninth grade. You made me realize I need to dislodge my head from my a*****e, pronto.
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Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 2:32 pm
Gale didn’t know what to expect when the phone went off again. She knew she was just hoping for some more cute animal pictures from Evan, but she knew that she wasn’t going to be that lucky. She was never that lucky. Scanning the first message, the brunette frowned, wondering if she had perhaps missed a message, this didn’t…answer her question or anything…it was just.
Okay. So he wouldn’t call her chick anymore. That was one thing, she supposed.
But…when the second message came through, instead of answering anything she had said…or at least half said…he seemed to be accusing her of…of what?
Pain rose in Gale’s chest and she had to take several deep breaths, trying to calm down. She didn’t know what to send back. There…wasn’t anything she really…wanted to say. Wasn’t anything she could say.
Maybe…she should ignore the text and…pretend that she never got either of them…or she could just…
Just what?
With trembling fingers she sent a short message, not knowing what else to say.
It was over…wasn’t it. She had still…but…
It just didn’t matter.
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Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2017 8:23 pm
Zach sighed and laid back on the pillow, head sinking in while he gave a deep, world-weary sigh. He wasn't good at this, and Gale's response made that incredibly clear. He wasn't sure what he could say that could make Gale realize he was complimenting her. Clearly he needed lessons in communication. He had to say something. He couldn't let her think he thought poorly of her. Quote: I just... I'm not good enough for you. I realized that I need to do a lot of work before I COULD be good enough for you. I just... I'm sorry I couldn't be the guy you deserve to have. Zach hit send and turned over in bed to stare at the wall. What else was there to say? Could he be any clearer? He'd probably mess this up too, knowing his track record with this sort of thing.
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 1:04 pm
Gale stared at her phone, unsure if she wanted to even look at it again when the screen lit up once again. It took a few minutes, but she finally reached over and took the phone, her heart sinking the rest of the way out of her body and through the floor.
Well. At least…he could have at least just said…
Drawing in a deep breath, Gale texted back. She figured this would be the last text she would send to Zach…unless she was reading all of this wrong…and she hoped that was the case, to be honest.
Quote: So…you’re breaking up with me.
It wasn’t a question…or at least she didn’t think that it was.
She needed a hug. Or some booze. Or some booze while getting a hug. That sounded nice.
Slowly Gale dragged herself up and began getting dressed, leaving her phone in the living room where she could ignore it, at least for a little while. It was time for a trip to Evan’s place.
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:48 pm
Quote: No. Not unless you want to? I'd respect that, whatever you decision is. I just... Maybe I need therapy or something. I don't want to upset you anymore. And maybe that was what he needed - a therapist, or someone to talk to, to unload some of the baggage he'd been carrying around since the divorce of his parents. The shame and the guilt associated with that, the embarrassment of not doing anything with his senshi or civilian life, the fact that he was an adult but made little money and had few aspirations for the future, his shame over not living up to his vision of what it meant to be a man... Zach sighed and rolled over in bed, trying to hide beneath the covers. Maybe he could sleep this off, and wake up a new man. Someone better than this.
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Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2017 9:14 pm
When Gale finished dressing she picked up the phone once again, shooting a text to Evan indicating that she was coming over, and looked at the message that had been sent by Zach. With a sigh she shut the put the phone into sleep mode and left the house. It was no use getting too worked up about it. He thought he needed therapy, okay. But she was sure that he wasn’t the one who wanted to throw himself off of a bridge…
Evan would know what she should do. What she should say.
He would be able to make her feel better and get the thoughts that had reared up in her head again out of there…
At least, she hoped he could.
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