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 Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 10:20 pm
It had taken a day before Gale got herself off the floor. She tried to drink something. Tried to eat something. Nothing stayed down, of course…but at least she had tried. Her phone was dead, but she didn’t bother plugging it in. Nobody would bother calling her, nobody important at least. Not that she got many calls anyway, so what did that matter.
Finally, sometime on the day after the phone had died, a few hours after she had emptied the contents of her stomach again, she decided to head to the park. Maybe Epidote would be there. Maybe he would make this easy and just crush her starseed. It would hurt, she was sure…but it would be quick, that would be good at least. Quick and…well. Quick was what she wanted. She was tired of lingering on.
It didn’t take too long to make it to the park where she normally met the Captain, and she spent a few minutes on the swings, but honestly, she hardly had the energy to do more than slowly sway back and forth and even that exhausted her.
He wasn’t going to show up, was he? Of course he wasn’t going to show up. Why would anyone do what she expected. If she would just…
Giving a small sigh, Gale walked into the woods. There was a small river that wound its way through and she knew of a lovely little bridge. It wasn’t very high…but there were enough rocks at the bottom. It wouldn’t’ be quick. But. At least it would be.
She was just so tired, and by the time she got to the center of the bridge, all she had the energy to do was rest her chin on the railing, eyes on the slowly burbling water beneath her.
Yeah. Plenty of rocks. It would do.
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Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 10:29 pm
Getting outside, alone, was hard for Evan. He had made it to the library before but the important people in his life had been encouraging him to get out more.
So, he was trying. At first it was only the extremely obvious places, very near to home. Today, he managed to make his way to the park—only, he was following a path. That wound a little too far out of his comfort zone. It was secluded, which in Evan’s heart, always meant something bad was waiting to happen. When he realized how far out he was, he thought about turning around—only, according to his map it looked like it was a shorter distance to just keep walking.
So, he persisted, paranoid and on edge.
In all likelihood, he knew he wasn’t going to run into anyone. This place seemed like it had no life in it—until he spotted a girl on a bridge.
A girl looking a little too interested at the rocks below.
He glanced down at them and his skin crawled; a drop like that would likely do more than just hurt.
He might not have thought much of it if she didn’t seem so sad.
It wasn’t his place and he knew it; a cold sweat flushed over him and he was suddenly incredibly nervous as he turned the corner and took a few hesitant steps towards the bridge.
There were a lot of times when he’d been alone, desperate for company or help, and was just too afraid to ask. He felt a phantom itch on his arm and scratched at it through his long sleeves before he made up his mind.
He hadn’t had people, before. When he was sad, or worse. Maybe he would have brushed off people that tried to check on him, but maybe—maybe—they would have been good for him. If she didn’t want him, he could always leave.
But if she needed someone…
Evan cleared his throat, trying to force the sudden lump away. “H-hey,” he called, already regretting how quickly his voice had broken. It wasn’t that he didn’t talk enough, just that talking to strangers made him expect the worst. He took a few more steps towards her, carefully. “Are you okay?”
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 10:43 am
Gale had heard the quiet footsteps for a while now, or at least imagined she had heard them. The snapping of a twig, the rustle of the leaves…someone might be coming towards her, but in all honesty, she doubted it. Though, when she heard a voice. A male voice, her head slowly turned to see who it was, a little bit of hope rising in her that it was Zach or Epidote. Either one would do right now. There was almost a smile on her face, and the hope had swelled in her that this was either going to be it…or things would get better…
And then she saw that it was someone who she had never seen before in her life.
And the bubble of hope exploded into a hundred thousand pieces, the smile slipping from her face. “Oh. Yeah…I’m fine, thanks.”
Well. That was really it, then. Neither of the two she wanted were coming…and now there was some concerned stranger asking if she was okay. Her head rested on her hands again and her eyes went back to eyeing the rocks. He would leave, she was sure. Someone on a hike in the woods had better things to do than to talk to strangers, right?
Besides. He had no ties to her. No anything. Her eyes slowly slid to the side, and a frown made its way onto her face. “Why?”
She hadn’t meant to ask the question…but…he hadn’t moved yet so…eh. She was just stupid, that was all. Maybe he wouldn’t have heard her. She hoped not, at least.
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 12:13 pm
The question seemed to take Evan by surprise. He walked a little closer to her, careful not to intrude on her space. He planted his elbows on the railing and looked down into the river below. For a moment, he considered his answer.
"I guess...because you looked upset and I guess I just wondered if you wanted to talk about anything. I don't know, I'm sorry if it was too forward but I just know that..."
His voice trailed off as he collected his thoughts. He picked up after a second, with a bit more vigor. "I used to come to a place like this when something was wrong."
He kept his gaze firm on the water and rocks below as if he were afraid that looking at her would be insulting in some way. "And, when I was alone, I was pretty bad company and just wound up making myself more upset. Sometimes I just wished someone would have stopped to talk. About anything, I guess. Just a distraction. But, uhm."
He chanced a glance at her out of the corner of his eyes. "If you wanna talk, it could be about anything. I'll listen. If you want," he insisted, hoping he wasn't pressing too hard.
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 12:28 pm
Gale nodded slowly. “I don’t really want to talk. I don’t really want to do anything anymore.” The words were soft, but had a hopeless sense of certainty behind them. “I’m just…tired.” She closed her own eyes, tilting her head so her cheek rested on her hands instead of her chin. “I’m just tired and don’t want to deal with anything anymore.”
It sounded so…morbid to be talking to a stranger about this but…well. He had asked.
How…stupid. Just another mark of how upside down her life had become…that a stranger seemed to want to talk to her more than…well. More than someone she knew well.
Of course she had been putting the distance more between them but…but still…that…he left.
He just left her alone.
“You don’t have to bother yourself with me. I’m not worth much, and I’m sure you have better things to do…” She wished that she had better things to do so she could stop wasting her time…with herself.
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 1:04 pm
Evan nodded, tapping his fingers thoughtfully on the bridge’s railing. He wasn’t good at talking to people; he knew that if Cambria was here she’d have known exactly what to say. But, Cambria wasn’t here, and Evan didn’t want to leave her alone.
“I have low self esteem too,” he said after a moment. “…So I guess I can get why you might think that it’s a bother, but it isn’t. Sometimes I’m worried that I’m so messed up that I’m just bringing the people around me down. You know, the good people? The people that work so hard to try and help me? But…”
He shrugged. “I’m starting to believe them when they say that I’m not bothering them. And that I’m worth it.”
His lips pursed and he glanced over at her again. “So I’d bet that you are, too. But maybe the people in your life aren’t telling you often enough.” He was still self conscious, and worried about saying the wrong thing, but he couldn’t help but wonder what he’d want someone to say, if he was in her position.
Probably that he was worth something. That whatever was going on was temporary, and that things would get better. He’d want someone to give him something to do, something he could be satisfied with. Something he could complete and feel like he was a success and worth something.
Evan faltered and twiddled his thumbs for a second before he asked, “Have you eaten anything recently? I know it sounds silly, but a good meal makes me feel better. But, I like to cook. Do you have any hobbies?”
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 1:35 pm
Gale didn’t answer right away. Honestly, she was half wondering if maybe he would just go away if she was quiet for long enough. It was nice here. Even without the river under her and the thought of what was to come…there was a nice breeze right here and she thought she could just fall asleep standing up if it came to it.
When she finally turned her head the other way to look at the guy who was talking to her she shrugged. “I haven’t been able to keep anything down for a few days. Every time I eat or drink it just…comes right back up so…no. I haven’t eaten. And…I don’t really have any hobbies right now either…I guess I did but…”
She shrugged again, closing her eyes. “Right now I don’t have much of anything, I guess. And…I’m glad you’re starting to feel that you’re worth it…feeling good about yourself is important…it sounds like you have some great friends…”
Gale felt the tears building up in her eyes and scrunched them more tightly shut. She didn’t need to cry in front of this guy. He already seemed to think she wanted to talk, if she started crying, who even knew what he would think. She didn’t matter. Regardless of what this guy said, she knew she didn’t matter…
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 2:15 pm
The moment Evan saw wetness in her eyes, he looked away. It wasn’t that he minded, but that he didn’t want to intrude anymore than he already was.
“Hey,” he tried, faltered, and then picked up again, “It’s okay to be upset, and it’s okay to cry. Whatever’s going on, I’m really sorry you’re going through it.” He guessed that either she didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, or didn’t have anyone to talk to about it, and he kept worrying he was pushing his boundaries.
But, she hadn’t stormed away or told him to shut up, so he hoped that meant he wasn’t making things worse.
“I know I’m just a stranger—or,” he paused, and held out his hand. “I don’t have to be! My name is Evan. I…I want to be your friend.”
Jeez, Evan, this wasn’t second grade. But, he looked genuine, and he did honestly mean it.
“And, if I was your friend, I would tell you, uhm.” He moved to tuck some hair behind his ear so he could see her better. “That I want you to be okay, and that you’re worth being happy. You’re worth taking care of. And I would try to help, if you wanted to let me. When I get upset, I can’t keep anything down. Except, I know some recipes that are really good for your stomach. Comfort food, I mean, so it’s good for your heart, too.”
He looked hopeful. “Of course, we could stay strangers, no strings attached, if you wanted. But you really seem like you need to talk to someone. There are some websites online, like, anonymous chat rooms? You can just go there to talk or rant or get advice, if you don’t want to talk to people. Or they have places that just show you pictures of cats and tell you jokes. But me, I need someone there. I need someone to tell me that I’m worth their time, because when I don’t feel like I’m worth anything, them being there, saying that, gives me something to hold onto.”
He swallowed and looked over at her again. “So, I just want you to know. You’re worth my time. And you’re important. And if you want ice cream, or if you want a good, homecooked meal, or someone to watch a movie with, or someone to listen, I’ve got time for you. Now, or later, if you need it.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 3:11 pm
For the life of her, Gale couldn’t figure out why this guy was trying so hard. Was he trying to come on to her? She honestly didn’t think she was worth any of this effort, despite what he kept insisting. She opened her eyes again and looked at him when he introduced himself and even went so far as to nod. She heard him…but answering was too hard at the moment. There were too many things being said and she couldn’t concentrate on any of it but…
…But ice cream sounded good, honestly. It sounded really good and the thought of it made her stomach grumble loudly. “Oh.” She hadn’t felt hungry in ages…and it was a strange thing, honestly. Finally Gale pushed herself off of the railing and straightened up, looking at the black and purple haired male. Evan. The guy who wanted to be her friend. Who thought she was worth something.
If she wasn’t careful, she was just going to explode. She knew that. She could already feel the tears coming back, ready for another round of incapacitating sobs and enough snot to drown herself but…
“I don’t get it. You don’t know me. I’m not anyone that you have to force yourself to care about I’m literally nothing so…you’re…you’re really wasting your time…” Gale reached out though, reached out and took the offered hand, holding it tightly. She didn’t want him to be wasting his time though. She wanted to believe the things he was saying, that she was worth it and that he thought she was worth his time…it felt good to hear it. “Gale. I’m Gale…I…”
The tears began to fall faster and she scrubbed at her face with her free hand. “I would like some ice cream…”
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Posted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 3:39 pm
When her stomach growled, Evan looked hopeful again, and when she drew away from the railing he only felt more reassured.
She took his hand, so Evan squeezed it. He didn’t let it go, even after she’d introduced herself.
“It’s really nice to meet you, Gale. And I want you to know that I don’t have to force myself to care about you. I just do, already. And it’s really easy, so you don’t have to worry. I want to care, and I want you to know I care.” He offered her a smile and gave her hand a gentle tug, as if to guide her away from the bridge. “And I know a really good ice cream shop that’s right by the park. I’ll buy you whatever you want, and maybe we can talk some more. Or play a game or something, anything.”
He gave her hand a slight squeeze and swung it, just slightly, while they walked. He didn’t hold her hand tightly enough that it was uncomfortable or entrapping, but he made sure she knew that it was there for her if she wanted it. Considering how tightly she’d held it when they were introducing themselves, he couldn’t help but think maybe she needed that connection, that tie to someone else.
For as long as she wanted it, he’d make sure she had it.
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