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 Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2017 6:36 pm
(Continuing from the DRP which was about to asplode) Beejoux Whatever happened between the two of you before Noah and I got together, " she was quick to counter, hackles raising a bit. "Didn't have anything to do with me. I didn't take him from you. Maybe you should look at the events leading up to us getting together, and ask yourself what might have led to him being interested in me." Things were going down hill, though that was hardly surprising given how much the both of them disliked each other. But at least they were still talking. "You're a patronizing s**t, and you say a lot of stupid stuff, so yeah, I take shots at you, but that doesn't have anything to do with him. And you've picked your fair share of fights with me, so don't even pretend like you're innocent in all this. You're not." She stopped, took a breath, and let it out slowly before continuing. "You got what you wanted, yay for you. I got lied to, and spent weeks having the person I loved avoid me. And when I finally learned why he'd broken up with me, it was to be with you. So excuse me for still being a little bitter, but that sort of thing lingers with a person." "I already know why," Al responded - teeth baring and about to share his cruelest thoughts in the heat of the moment. The single word he associated with Peyton most. Rebound. before suddenly realizing it wasn't fair or true. Not exactly. Even if he willed that to be the one and only reason for any of this. "But whatever. It isn't a ******** game to me Peyton. This is my ******** life and I couldn't see myself living it without him by my side. Be mad and whatever at me forever. I don't care. I thought we could finally bury the hatchet now that you showed some like... damn humanity or whatever but I guess I was wrong."
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2017 6:46 pm
What she really wanted to do was leave an imprint of her knuckles against the side of his jaw, but that really wouldn't have accomplished much. Temporary satisfaction, at best. "Are you always this self centered?" The words were harsh, but the tone lacked the bite that might have been expected. "I don't want to ******** up your relationship. Get that through your little head. It is possible to angry, or bitter, or sad about something, without wanting to destroy it." It felt like she was trying to talk sense into a brick wall. "Do you even really understand why I'm still mad about it?" She was getting the impression that he didn't. Though it wasn't like she made it a habit to discuss her own baggage and insecurities with people that hated her. Well, Melvin excluded, apparently.
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2017 6:58 pm
"I never implied you wanted to ******** up our relationship, but I have to ask if you don't want to cause it troubles then why did you ask me what I didn't like about it? In front of everyone?" His lips pressed thin as he was making a straight face at her.
"If you want me to understand your side then maybe you should explain it without throwing insults at me every two minutes? I mean, was that remark about my self being centered really necessary in trying to bring up your point? 'Cause all it did was make me want to punch you. Only a little though. A tiny punch. In the nose."
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2017 7:21 pm
"I was curious. You had to be with each other so bad, I wanted to know if it was everything you'd hoped it'd be." Which was, admittedly, kind of petty, but it would have been a lot worst if she'd gone through all that bullshit and they weren't even happy together. "Makes it more, I dunno, meaningful, knowing that you're really serious about him. "And I called you self centered because you are. Because it seems like you're incapable of placing yourself in anyone else's shoes to try to understand how they feel. That, or you just don't care enough to do it. Either way, that's exactly my point. It's all about you and your hurt feelings, your life, and how you perceived things." She snorted. Her hands came up, face resting in them for a moment before she was pushing her fingers back through her hair. "You've been acting like I'm the bad guy in all this, when you're the one walking away with a happy ending, and all I got out of it was reinforced insecurities, embarrassment, and trust issues. We were fine, and then all of a sudden he wasn't taking to me. Avoided me. You know what kind of havoc that plays on her persons sense of self?" Especially after something similar had happened not long before that.
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2017 8:12 pm
"Well I am. I would gladly die for him. If... if that somehow makes me self centered then I really don't get your definition of the term? Like, yes I put myself in other peoples shoes but I can't really understand anything unless they say something about it. You can't like just be like, 'I'm upset about this thing' and make sad faces at me and expect me to be like OHHHHHHHHHHHHH I GET IT NOW. No. I don't get it. I'm just not afraid to admit I don't get it because I WANT TO get it and need help getting there." Maybe this was weird? It was normal to him and he couldn't comprehend why it had to be so hard. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. If you're upset, explain the upset. Be frank and honest and -whatever. She wasn't even listening, it felt like. Maybe he should stop listening too and just walk away. He strongly considered it. "I have no ******** idea how to even begin with this? Everything I say to you is always somehow wrong. Always. When I try you just constantly throw insults at me which, after I pointed out as not helping in the understanding and listening department, you are STILL DOING?? And trying to justify because...?" SHRUG. "For the record, no one claimed you were the bad guy. I'm just saying nothing is completely black and white. Good guys and bad guys. I'm just saying that I'm no the bad guy either, even if it might feel that way. Maybe we're better off with you just thinking I am. Maybe this was a mistake?" "Look, I'm sorry your world got turned upside down back then. It wasn't anyone's plan. Nobody wanted that. There was just no way to avoid it. How else could it have gone? How would you have handled loving someone so much that it hurt you down to your core, your very soul, to be apart - and they felt the same way, but they were dating a friend who they cared about too?" He was giving her a look that said he was seriously asking her that. Seriously asking her what she would have done if it was her instead in his shoes. Maybe she would even have a better answer than what theirs had been.
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Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2017 6:32 pm
She could feel the frustration mounting with every word he tossed back at her, and it took a lot not to get up and walk away, or worst, just haul off and slug him. The latter was really tempting. But she waited, and she tried to place herself in his head space, but it she honestly didn't know how. In her own mind she was being clear. Blunt, yes, but not petty. "Look," she finally cut in, tone schooled into something mostly neutral, and only faintly growled out. It would even out though, as she continued. "I'm not saying you're self-centered to be insulting, I'm saying it cause that's how it feels. You love him, I got it, and any question I might have had on that point is gone now, so I don't get why it has to come up over and over? I'm not contesting your feelings for him." Her fingers hand curled into her hair to either side of her neck but she loosed them slowly, lowering her hands back to her lap with marked effort. "You can't emphasize with me without me having to spell everything out to you. "And for the record. yes. you did. You treated me like the bad guy from the second you realized you wanted him and I had him." Peyton had to pause for a moment, draw in a breath and hold it before carrying on. "But let's just move on to the meat of the problem, shall we? What could have been done differently, to prevent my world being turned upside down? You and him both could have just tried taking to me. Him more than you, but still. The break up itself sucked, don't get me wrong, but It would have saved me a load of pain and anxiety and sleepless nights if someone had just thought to be honest with me about what the ******** was going on." She wasn't looking at him now, but instead at her hands in her lap, the nail polish that was badly chipping. "Having to admit to the person you're with that you don't want to be with them anymore isn't easy, but it's like a bandaid. It's better to just get it over with, save everyone involved some time and hurt."
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Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 6:37 pm
Al was starting to get more and more agitated at her accusatory statements. Drawing conclusions without actually talking to him like a normal person in what? Years? It felt unfair. About as unfair as her conclusion that he was certain she was the bad guy. When he wasn't. He just simply didn't get along with her at the best of times and that seemed to always be the case. Even before Noah came into either of their lives. "I'm sorry if you think I labeled you as a bad guy, but I'll say it again - I haven't. I just have never gotten along with you. Even before Noah came along. Need I remind you of our first match against each other? Got me pretty ******** pissed. I don't think you can fairly blame any of our animosity on my relationship to him. " He raised his eyebrows up at her. "Good chance it made it worse though, let's be real here." At her following statements though, all of his annoyance with her seemed to suddenly dissipate. He felt both sad and frustrated. Sad for her, but frustrated at Noah. "I told him. Knewit knewit knewit. I kept telling him to just ******** say something the minute he ******** knew. But he put it off. I was in ******** limbo too. He avoided everything. All of it. But I honestly felt that I deserved to be in limbo so... I just ... didn't argue with it?..." He shifted a shoulder slightly. " I still kept telling him he needed to talk to you though, especially after he said he decided because you didn't deserve the ... hanging? But he insisted on things his way and I just... I let it be?" "He was scared." He looked down at the ground. "He needed to do it himself." "I just would have made it worse."
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Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2017 11:29 am
They were never going to agree on who drew first blood, and who did what and when an how. Maybe that was alright, maybe they didn't need to agree on how everything had happened to be able to get past all this mess. So she let it go as Al once again denied having treated her as poorly as she remembered. "It made it worst," she agreed quietly, not looking at him. "I wasn't sleeping. I didn't know what was going on, and I'd had other things I was already dealing with on my plate." One of her hands went to her side, to the scar on her ribs. It wasn't fair to lay the blame for what Jack had been able to do on Noah, but if she hadn't been worrying so much over what the ******** was going on, the big man would never have gotten the upper hand on her. "And when he finally does talk to me, he doesn't tell me about you. I found out from Rep's big mouth taunting me over it." It would certainly explain the resentment. "That he didn't just leave me, but he left me for someone I've never gotten along with, that he promised me I didn't have to worry about." Pale eyes finally flicked back to him. "And that's not strictly your fault. You didn't make the promise, but you were a part of the problem."
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Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 5:38 pm
"You say that but - I highly doubt you would have believed me and even if you did, I don't think you would have ever appreciated it coming from me, of all people, instead of him. As suggested by your own... friendly... description of me." He rolled his eyes at her - and then they slid right back at her in a non-sarcastic, but mildly surprised look. "He - didn't?" Al's memory hadn't been the greatest since the incident and this may have been a detail lost to time. Had that been their decision? Maybe. He was left looking a little lost before dismissing it as ' must not have been that important'. "Promise? What promise?" He latched onto the different topic.
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Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:23 pm
She shrugged, not looking at him now. "I saw the letter you gave him, when we were still together. I asked him if it was something I had to worry about, and he told me it wasn't. He promised me, but either he lied, or it wasn't a promise he could keep." But it was still a broken promise, and it had still hurt. Sighing, she pushed her fingers through her hair again before letting her hands drop to her lap.
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Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:51 pm
Al froze, a look of shock and horror on his face. "You saw that?" Of course she did. She wouldn't know its existence otherwise. He was mortified. It was something that had been very personal and deep and filled with every bit of his soul. He gave Peyton a somewhat hurt look. This whole time she'd seen his deepest most personal thoughts. Had he known before? It didn't matter, it hurt now. "Then you should... know... what happened?" An irritated, almost accusing abrasiveness edged into his tone. "You quite literally had read my diary. Or journal. Whichever is less embarrassing to admit to."
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Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 9:30 pm
Pale brows dipped, and she brought a hand up between them to put a stop to any further protests. "First of all, I didn't read the whole thing, only enough to figure out what it was. Second of all, you really don't get to be all righteously upset here. How do you think I felt, finding a love note to my boyfriend, whom I was in love with." She kept her voice even, but she certainly didn't look happy about the accusations. "It wasn't my choice, what he did or didn't do. I didn't make him stay with me, and you didn't make him leave me. He chose, and he chose you. And just cause I read the damn thing doesn't mean I ever told anyone about it." She huffed defensively.
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Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 6:41 am
Al's hands clenched into tight little fists before suddenly going limp in his lap as he stared down at the ground. He looked surprisingly exhausted. “You didn't?” There was a certain disbelief in his tone. “But I thought everything was my fault as far as you were concerned? Did something change?”
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Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 12:33 pm
"No, I didn't. But even if I had, it's not like I had gone looking for it. I didn't even know what it was when I found it." It had fallen out of a book that had been on his desk. Just a stupid bit of happenstance that Peyton thought perhaps she'd have been better not knowing about. No way to know now, though. "Fault and blame are funny things. You're not innocent. I mean, if you hadn't pursued him who knows what would have happened." They wouldn't still be together, she didn't think, but the circumstances would have certainly been different. "And for as much as it's conveniently slipped your mind, or you wanna pretend otherwise, you've been an a** about it. Because making a point to say you'd like to say something shitty, but aren't allowed, isn't any better than just saying the shitty thing. You're still making it a point to say something." There wasn't any real bite to her voice now. The minor spurt of anger had faded, and now she sounded as tired as he looked. "The fact that Noah had to tell you to leave me alone is kind of proof that left to your own devices, you would have been even worst about the whole thing."
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Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:30 pm
"Because you annoy the living ******** out of me," Al said pleadingly as if that were some sort of excuse. "You're always putting me and the people I care about down and in everyone's business. It pisses me off. So of course I feel compelled to say something in the heat of the moment. Just not the things I might want to say." He sighed. "Look. I don't want to fight with you, but it feels like I'm constantly being treated like s**t here. So I have to stand up for myself."
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