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[ Prelude ]

Shu was alone, in her little dark basement room. The petite Asian curled up like a shrimp, her arms wrapped around a giant alpaca with an eternal smile. Her face almost fully buried into the fluff of the plush.

The broken door of the wardrobe was not fixed and she hadn't put the stickers back to her door and ceiling. Tears still hung on her face like some transparent crystal bits, she dreamed of who she missed the most again. Nightmares she'd called them even things happened in those dreams were not always bad. It was the complicated hollow sensation that she realized all wasn't real when she woke up from them put her into agony.

On one side of the wall was her full hunter coat, the Asian with soaked eyes gave a glance at it. She tried. She really did. From a trainee, she worked herself up to a full hunter rank. Since that day, she had decided how she shall walk her path - tears rushed out from her eyes.

It still felt pitiful she had to walk the remaining part all by herself, she wiped away the liquids so her plush won't get wet. "You're not good enough," suddenly someone stated coldly. Reappeared from the plush were a pair of calm eyes, so serene that they resembled the marbles. "I've given you chances to try but no one could save you, little monster."

If anyone saw that, they would be surprised for the monodrama Shu had, for the Nian, he knew a long time ago his hunter had two faces. One of which appeared to be bright, enthusiastic, friendly and felt like a young ghoul. Another side aloof, sarcastic, mischievous and distant like a mature soul. While the young girl was annoying and always bothered him, the other one pushed him away by wearing the color he disliked most. Let's he explain something first, their species didn't fear red things, just loathed of them.

[ Verse - Her perspective ]

My name was Dong Shu Lei, an average girl born in a normal Asian family. My family didn't have any financial problems, neither my mother nor father was a criminal. No one in the family suffered from serious illnesses or was handicapped. Yes, it was an ordinally plain family. If one had to pinpoint its special thing, it might be how big it was? Including me, my parents had six children. I was the second younger among my siblings, above were two sisters and a brother. I also got a twin sister. Born with health problem, she had to live with grandparents, the rural area had better environment for her

It was a strange thing that my father never hug me or my twin siste once. As a little girl, I believed everything's possible. No matter what I had done, he had not smiled one time or approve me for anything. In contrast to my naiveness, sisters knew of the key reason gave me the love I wanted. They were the best distraction from father's attitude.

Mother was a traditional woman, for her, father was everything. Most of the time her identity was his wife rather than our mother. That was why sisters were not close to mother. Even so, our family seemed to maintain a certain harmony despite of everything. I was well-protected by my sisters.

Then, things began to change with the birth of my brother. It was the first time I saw father smiled that happily, he hugged the newborn like he was the most valuable treasure in the world.

If father was aloof towards me before that, he was malicious after my brother was born. As if I would hurt him or something, father glared at me whenever something happened to brother. He got unreasonably stressed and addicted to alcohols. It was when he first hit me. At first no one learned about it but mother did. After he had beaten me, she would treat my wounds while crying, apologized incessantly. The young me thought she was sad for my pains so I gave her a smile. I smiled for their smiles. When father and I were alone, I hid inside the wardrobe and waited until sisters came home. Mother never step in as she thought every thing he did was correct despite the fact it might be wrong. During the time, I learned to smile even in pain.

It couldn't paper over because of his unbridled behaviour, long sleeves were unable to hide the reddened cheek and soaked eyes. Sisters who were irritated went into a keen arguement with father, when it escalated, they slipped up something she didn't know. "No matter how good we are, you never get satisfied because we're not boys, huh?" The words hammered against her heart. Father grew up in a family which stressed patriarchy so when mother gave birth to two daughters, he was disappointed but continue to persue for a son.

The drunken man's face rushed to tomato red, offended by the words from his daughters. He shoved a jar off the table yelling, mother was trying to convince sisters to make apology. No one realized I was there watching, a large piece of glass originated from the jar bounced off and streaked my lower leg. I fell, hips hit the ground in shock. That moment seemed to be eternal, I helplessly looked up and met with the cold eyes of my father.

The wound opened began to bleed, but my eyes were fixed on father's eyes, for how unbelievably detached they were. I finally woke up, a painful lesson for me to learn to him, I was nothing, something more distant than a stranger. My wound had to be stitched, it hurt but it was minimal compared to how my heart hurt. My last hope was therefore gone.

Yet, I underestimated how cruel that man could be. After the accident (my mother insisted that it was me who carelessly broke a jar), there was an ugly scar left along my lower leg. Feeling sorry about it, sisters bought me colorful socks and leggings to hide it up. That was how I started my collection over it. I was glad for the scar, it served best as a reminder not to hope for something impossible. It was a warning to myself. Mother might be right, I'm not normal at all, or else I won't scratch the bloody wound so it won't heal smoothly.

Things seemed to subside and their lives carried on. Summer came and it was time for vacation for students, a time to create remarkable memories with friends. My brother joined a summer camp while sisters were busy with their work. One dawn when everything was dyed in warm orange by the sunset, there were two rare visitors. They were distant relatives that I saw once at the anniversary family banquet. They had a conversation with father and when it seemed to finish, three of them took a weird glance at my side.

"Dong Shu Lei." It was the first time father said my name and talked to me but it was also the last one, "From now on, you're their daughter." In total shock, I was dragged off by the two strangers. I was utterly confused when I stood at the unfamiliar flat with them, the mid-aged couple looked nice but - "Aunt and uncle wanted a kid so long but couldn't have one no matter how hard we tried. Therefore, out of kindness, your father had transferred you to us for a nominal charge of a dollar. We'll be your new parents, do you understand?"

The woman said with a gentle smile to me, I understood what she said but my brain stopped processing. I was unable to accept the fact that my father sold me for a dollar to someone else. "We'll treat you nicely." The woman tried to convince me. At that moment, my mind was overwhelmed with many thoughts. I was just an object belonged to him in my father's eyes? Something that he could sell and worth a dollar only, my body chilled from head to toes. I looked at the couple who were still smiling, thinking might be starting over won't be too bad.

At first, they treated me so well. They never yell at me or beat me and they bought me many gifts. It'd be the first time I experienced how being someone's daughter must be sadly I could only call them aunt and uncle. The couple paid attention to me and offered me the best but I missed my siblings so much. Thus I made another mistake I didn't know would lead to such a bad consequence. When I asked if I could go home to see my family, the woman's face changed. She looks irritated and grabbed her arms tightly, "Aren't we good enough to you!" The mid-aged woman glared me with wide-open eyes and shook my body vigorously, repeated her words in an lunatic manner. Her husband soothed her and the couple left the room. Since that day, the woman had changed her attitude towards me but the man remained nice to me.

She had torn her fake kindness off her skin and treated me whatever she wanted. She asked me to do all the chores and ordered me around like the lowest servant. She'd blamed me for bad luck when she lost money on mahjong. On the other hand, lacking of father's love had myself developed an odd craving for care from mature men. I stuck with the man who would protect me from the woman. However, I didn't expect it was another mistake. The man began to touch me, first it was my shoulders, then sometimes he'd brushed along my forearms. I mistook it as proper affection that parents should have out of innocence.

Things got escalated when the woman wasn't at home. It made me uneasy when his hands slid up along my legs, I caught his hand and showed my unwillingness. It was a bit too much even for father and daughter. He apologized and I was relieved. In order not to catch myself in another dangerous occasion, I avoided chances that we would be left alone. The man didn't give up, one time, he deliberately fell onto me. An adult man's weight was too much for me to push him away, his hands traveled over my body. In a happenstance, the woman came back from her mahjong gathering saw it and accused me for seducing her husband. Like a furious dragon, she gave me a slap on face. "Shameless little b***h!" She cursed and yelled loudly, face distorted with the outburst of rage. Punches and slaps rained onto my body incessantly, malice, hatred and grudges buried me like a tsunami. She seemed to grill me if that was how I repaid her good care but my ears ringed badly. The man stepped in and pushed her backward and the couple went into a heated argument.

Finally, the angry woman got rid of the man and dragged me to a storage room at the back of the kitchen. Father had sometimes done the same thing so starving wasn't new to me. In darkness when those shadows most active, they attempted to scare me. I tried to talk to them but overheard by the woman. As a suspicious person, she took it as ominous and wanted to throw me out. Her husband convinced her with some stupid ideas and I stayed. Fearing I would curse her, the woman went out most of the time. That gave the man a great chance to touch me again, as if he lost patience, he forced me to surrender. He locked both of my wrists on the ground and I could only glare at him. "I won't hurt you if you behave." It felt very disgusting to be touched that way. Luckily, he was a coward and didn't do anything other than groping.

Stresses built up gradually with many negative thoughts. Often, I hoped that my siblings would come to save me from that hell or my mother would bring me home. Sometimes I questioned myself if it was my punishment for having a selfish thought to left my family. My anxiety rocketed in the presence of the man and those shadows, I had to protect myself since the people who gave me peace and coziness were not there. To protect my sanity , I closed my heart, detached my soul from my body. If the man wanted my body, he could have it, but my soul won't be tainted by him.

The first one to reach me was my brother. Came back from camp, he quickly noticed I was missing and interrogated what happened. He then went to find me, my mildest brother reprimanded the couple in a rare incensed expression. He wrapped his outer coat around me and soothed me with his gentle voice, guaranteed I was safe. I was brought home and my brother quarreled with father like a little hero stood against an evil boss. At the end, father made a reluctant concession he won't do that again. Yet, the blow was too much for a teenager girl like me. I remained like a soulless doll. Not wanting anyone to know, parents forbade my sisters from taking me to psychologist. Instead, my sisters sought advice from a private psychologist which was a good friend of hers. Brother quit his after school activities while sisters sped their work to come home earlier. They spent time to call me, talk to me and took good care of me. Even it was embarrassing, they took turn to hug and sleep with me. Eventually, I was attracted by the warmth and came out of my shell. I had completely lost hope on father but still had that in mother, who gave us our names. "You just had a bad bad dream, forget about it." My sisters said.

After that happened, I cherished my siblings even more. I enjoyed every moment I was with them. Though I couldn't get love from my parents, my siblings compensated that more than enough, I was satsified. Already planned to live with my sisters in the future, things seemed to get smooth for me. Yup, seemed to.

Years passed and I greeted my eighteenth birthday. That was my happiest and saddest day in my life. The accident took my sisters' lives and my brother went into a coma. At the hospital, I finally got a chance to hear how my parents really thought about me. Father blamed me for the death of the die-young son who was also the first boy for the couple and refused to accept it was just unfortune. Mother underneath scared of me after learning I could see shadows and believed my misfortune had resulted in the loss of her kids. To her, I was not human, but a monster covered in a human skin. They disowned me and from that day, I no longer had a name.

It was a torment to live in a world without them, my soul had left with my sisters and my emotions got plain. When I was contemplated what should I do next, strangers in white coats approached me. Like plot in light novels, they introduced me a different world that was unknown to the rest. I, wanted to leave that place that was not my home anymore, agreed to go with them.

[ Postlude]

Since there was no longer a need to make a wish, the petite huntress cut her long hair and dyed it all black. She took away her glasses and worn a pair of blue contacts which reminded her of her brother's eyes. Those blue eyes were the only thing their father disapproved but she loved them. They were like his soul, gentle and forgiving.

The huntress's eyes were calm and uninterested, but she had a lukewarm smile wore on her face. "Goodbye Shu," from her parted lips, a farewell was done.

Maybe she would appear again but that would be a day far far away.

Maybe not.