He watched her through quiet eyes and, after a moment of awkward silence, paced away a few steps - his back to her as he contemplated what he had just heard. Uddhava never believed that he would cross paths with his old kin. His memories of them were distant and yet so painfully clear that he wasn't sure whether to be overjoyed or dismayed that he had been placed in their way. Was it fate? The work of their fabled goddess? What would his mother have thought to see him now? Out here, all alone, rejecting the possibility of rejoining his brethren. And then to be given the taste of friendship. Hope that his kin were not what they had once been. And her question. Would he...? Would he agree to partner with her so that she might have a chance of producing full-blood Firekin for the future generations? And what of his rogue crush? He was pretty sure he loved her but he wasn't sure how much hope there was in it. And could he ever contemplate something more with her if he agreed to mate with a Firekin female, knowing that her intention was to birth his cubs back in the desert. To miss out on seeing them grow. Seeing them thrive. Always wondering if their coupling had produced cubs or not. Wondering about them every day.

He knew what his mother would say. Maybe even his father. They would tell him that this was meant to be, that she was a good female to set his seed. They would see it as a great opportunity for increasing the bloodline - dwindled as it was. Their ancestors lived so long and future generations lived. To have cubs would be to honour his parents. He just assumed his partnering would have been a little more traditional. Assumed it would have been with...

He realised how long he had been stood there and, with a blink, cast a look back over his shoulder at her. A child of Kidondo's line. Younger than he, with a kind and open face. The sort of face a guy could fall for. She was large as a Firekin should be, with distinct markings that would compliment the gold of his own. Beautiful. Proper. Earnest. But what of his cubs? Would they grow to hate him? Would they question him and blame him for not being in their lives? For choosing to live in his life of solitude? He turned towards her fully and paced back, a thousand questions on his tongue that faded at the sad look in her eye.

"This is not how I planned to become a father," he said sadly.

"If you do not want to, I will not force the matter. I promise. This is your choice and if it is ano than I will accept it - albeit mournfully. I do not want to back you into a corner that you will regret."

"Will the Firekin treat them poorly if they look like me?"

"No," she replied firmly. "I promise. Yellow has increased in the pride as the years have gone by - in small quantities, yes, but little by little it has become the norm. It may not be the most fashionable coat in the Firekin but I have no doubt that in a generation or so, it will be so tied with the original colours that it will be thought nothing of."

"And...what of the absent father?"

"You know you could visit whenever you like. No one would stop you - especially me. I would welcome it and it would be good for the cubs to see you at least once - if we are blessed with any."

"How would I know?"

"We'll find a way," she promised, "even if I have to strike back out here on my own."

"There is another girl..."

"You are not single?" Neci declared wide-eyed.

"No. Yes. I mean--I am single. There's a girl I like but...but I'm not sure how far it will go. There was talk of finding a pride together but nothing really more than friends at the moment."

"Would it cause trouble for you?"

"Honestly? I don't know. She's gentle and kind. She could understand if I told her about my old pride. About the bloodlines..."

"Do you have any love for us?"

Uddhava fell silent at that. It was something he wasn't quite sure he wanted to admit - even to himself, "I dream of the desert always. If I had been born red I would still be there. I lacked a fiery nature, though. Perhaps even with a suitable pelt I would never have fitted in."

"You wouldn't have had to have become a soldier," she replied. "Listen, it was wrong of me to ask this of you. It was too much," she leaned in, her muzzle a few centimetre's from his. "I'm sorry, Uddhava. We can be friends and, if things don't work out, you can always come home." Her eyes were sad again but he knew she was being truthful and it filled him with a sad sort of joy. What would it be like to be back at the place of his birth? Would it be beautiful? Or traumatising?

She leaned forwards and touched her nose to his. A farewell, he realised, even as the contact sent a shiver down the length of his spine. His eyes squeezed closed and then she was pulling away and he did not need to look to know she was backing away from him. In an hour or two she would be gone and, maybe, he would never see them again. Was it fate? Would he regret letting her slip through his paws? She had chosen him and he had declined and he knew that no matter what action he took, there would be regret. Terrible regret.

"Neci," her name was on his tongue and she froze, turning back to look at him, anticipation evident.

"If we had been raised in the pride together, I'd like to think that I would have fallen for you."

She gave him a soft, sweet smile and his stomach did a funny little flip.

"I think I could have fallen for you, too."

She made to leave again but, in a moment of panic, he moved after her, butting his head up alongside her hip and then again on her shoulder. She startled, turning to meet his gaze as he lifted his eyes. "I don't know what regret would be worse. Letting you go now or asking you to stay."

She sucked in a breath, shivering, and he leaned forwards to kiss her gently.

"Stay?"

She nodded wordlessly and leaned into him with an eagerness that was both exciting and frightening.

What had he done...?

/fin