The Firekin would not stay put forever. The location was a good resting point and it was likely they would stop by on the way back, but some of them had been suggesting that they continue on their journey come nightfall. It made sense. After all they were well-rested now with good meals in their bellies and throats soothed with the water that was here in abundance. It had been nice to rest one's paws and gain one's bearings but they had not come out here for a vacation. They all had work to do and that meant moving on. She'd wanted to ask Uddhava to join her -- them -- but there had never seemed to be a right moment and, the more they spoke, the more she began to doubt that his answer would be yes. He seemed a kind and gentle soul, but sad, too, and she wasn't sure why he would turn down the chance for joining his family again. Maybe it was because he was older. Maybe he'd been gone too long to feel like his birthplace was home anymore. Or maybe there was too much hurt there. Still, she wanted to ask. She just had to get up the nerve.

She'd moved down to join him amongst the shrub once more, calling softly to let him know she was coming. He was there as he always was, back to her, staring up at the pale stretch of sky. The sun was crowning, lining the clouds with a brightness that drew her attention briefly. It was strange how the same sky could look so different depending on one's location. She missed the desert sky and it's wild beauty. Did he miss it, too? Did he ever dream of it?

Neci drew up alongside him and took a seat, feeling content and relaxed in his companionship. He gave her a soft rumble of greeting but did not turn her way. It was almost as if he knew what she had come to do. Maybe he did. Maybe not. Perhaps she should ask him? But, before she could say anything, he had beaten her to it, proving that maybe he did not know exactly what was on her mind.

"Have you come to say goodbye?" he asked.

"Not quite yet. We leave at sundown." It wasn't confirmed yet, of course, but there had been enough stirring - enough agreement - that she figured it would be agreed. "We have much farther to go and the rest has been adequate for our journey so far."

"I hope it is fruitful," he replied.

"Me too," she whispered, glancing away.

She sensed him turn to look at her, a question in his eyes, but she was suddenly afraid again to speak what was on her mind. She knew his answer already but to hear it from his own mouth would be true confirmation - dashing her hopes.

"What is it?" he asked, sensing her unease.

"It's just me being silly," she replied, forcing a smile onto her face before she turned back to him. She could see the nervousness there in his own expression and, after a moment, he pulled himself up so that he was sitting beside her - so close that their shoulders almost touched.

"I think I already know the answer, but do you mind if I ask anyway?"

"Of course not."

"I know it has been a long time, but you would be welcome to join us and return home with us when this journey is done. You would be part of the Firekin again, back with your family." He didn't have much family left, granted, but surely it was more than he had now? Surely it was better than nothing?

"I wouldn't fit in there," Uddhava replied, "I don't have a warrior's heart and the pride would be foreign to me now. There is no place for me there."

She nodded sadly, "I thought...I had hoped you might decide to give it a try."

"I came to the conclusion long ago that there was never really a place for me in this world. There was never one crafted out for me and I have failed in making one for myself. I have some friends out here, of course, but a rogue friendship is a little more sparse than a pride one. I'm not as alone as you think I am."

But he wasn't happy, was he? Not truly. His eyes seemed to sad and she somehow wanted to fix that. Wanted to brighten them and hear him laugh, see him smile wide and uncontrolled. A rogue life was certainly a tough one but it seemed to have taken it's toll on him Maybe it had made him stronger but somehow she wasn't sure it had. Neci did not like to think of him alone when they were gone. Maybe he would consider joining them just for a little while and taking his leave at a later date? Maybe he'd even decide that he'd made a mistake and agree to join them back home. Return to the desert that was in his blood.

"Are you truly happy, Uddhava?"

"At times, yes. Not always. But who is ever happy all the time?"

"Fair enough," she agreed with a faint smile, turning to look at him. He turned, too, and met her gaze and for a moment she was frozen, unsure what to say next. She felt suddenly hot and awkward and in an attempt to dispel it she shuffled her paws a little and cleared her throat. His eyes were so very green.

"I think you are the type of lion I could have chosen as a mate," she blurted suddenly, entranced by that solemn, beautiful gaze.

He blinked, clearly surprised and then looked equally sheepish. "I'm not your typical Firekin male," he said softly.

"I think that is why." She replied honestly, "you have a kind face and are strong of heart. It's a good quality in a partner - if you ask me."

He cleared his throat that time and, in a soft voiice she dared to ask the other thing that had been on her mind, "there's another reason the Firekin are out here..."

/fin