Word count: 1703
Immediately follows: No Remorse
Warning: Near-drowning


There were several moments in which he couldn’t remember how he got from one place to the other. It was possible that the pain had caused him to black out for a little while, but it was also possible that everything just happened too quickly to fully comprehend.

If he could think properly, he would have wondered if his General managed to take down the Knight with increased ease after Kamacite had stopped him from being hit with the liquid filled vial. The wolf would have won either way, Kamacite was certain, but being injured would have hindered him. As useless as Kamacite felt sometimes, he knew he could at least do something.

And if that something meant trying to keep his General from getting hurt, Kamacite was willing to do whatever it took.

If he could think properly, he would have thought about how he wanted to see his boyfriend again. To make sure he was taken care of and ate more than junk food and impossible amounts of coffee. To laze around and watch movies with him, or just listen to him talk, or the way he breathed when he was sleeping.

Or the way his hands felt on him, or lips, or how Adrien made him feel safe and wanted for the first time in his life.

If he could think properly he would have realized that panicking was doing more damage than helping.

He would have realized that maybe if he powered down, he would have been weighed down by less. It was dark enough that his identity might not have been compromised. That his civilian clothing wouldn’t pull him down as quickly and that his long, sleek hair wouldn’t get tangled in the rocks and debris that covered the riverbed.

Instead, terror overwhelmed him.

The roar of the water rushing around him drowned out his distressed cries and filled his mouth, and then his lungs. He couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t hear anything over the sound of the water and furious pounding of his heart.

The night he’d seen the wolf in the alley, standing over the unconscious, probably dead civilian, Yuuri had been certain he would have died at the wolf’s hand. Back then, he had very little to live for, had very little purpose in his life. If he died that night, no one would have even noticed.

But now he had Adrien. Now he had his duty as a negaverse officer. There was a reason for him to continue fighting, and if he crossed paths with a creature as powerful as his General again, Kamacite was certain that he would do anything in his power to live.

He would refuse to resign himself to fate again. Would refuse to resign himself and accept that death was inevitable again.

It was surprising how far he’d come in less than half a year. He’d gained purpose and even though it didn’t seem like it, he’d gained a bit more of confidence and drive in him instead of just obediently going with the flow, of just letting things happen on their own without trying to influence the outcome.

He wanted to keep fighting. He wanted to live. He wanted to be with Adrien. He wanted to help his General gain all the power he could ever want.

He wanted another chance.

With all of the strength he had left, Kamacite reached out through the water, clawing at any of the jagged rocks and branches he could get his hands on. But his grip was never secure enough on the slippery surfaces, his footing was never solid enough. His lungs burned from lack of oxygen and the water that already filled them. His clothing slowed his movements as he tried, not to swim, but to gain holding to drag himself out. He had to. There was no other option. He had to live.

His long hair snagged on something, and Kamacite yelped in pain, swallowing more water as he reached up to grip at the length of hair that was caught in rocks or tree roots, trying to ease the pain and to also hold onto finally something unmoving.

Kamacite had no idea how long he’d been in the water. It could have been a few seconds. It could have been a few minutes. It felt like forever and no time at all. He didn’t know how far the current had swept him, or if he was still near the bridge where he and his General and the knight had been fighting.

But he couldn’t pull himself up, even with his hair stuck. He didn’t have the strength even though he wanted to have the strength. He wanted to make it.

To save himself.

But everything was hazy and dark. His body was burning and chilled and he couldn’t feel anything else.

He wasn’t going to make it. He couldn’t do this on his own.


He needed help, otherwise he would… -


Adrien…


He didn’t want to see the rest of his life flash before his eyes. There was very little in his life that he wanted to relive in his last moments.


He just wanted to see Adrien.


In the few short months that he’d met him, Yuuri’s life had changed so drastically, and in a genuinely good way. Adrien had been the first person to look at him like he, Yuuri, was important. He’d said he was beautiful and called him sweet names and treated him kindly.


Yuuri wanted to see Adrien and his blue eyes and bright smile as everything else faded, growing darker, colder as he slipped into unconsciousness under the water and strong currents.



Suddenly, he was coughing and choking on the water that was forced back up from his lungs, gasping heavily for air to replace the liquid that still felt heavy inside him, preventing him from taking in a decent breath. He didn’t know what happened, but he felt incredibly weak and dizzy. His body burned with pain; his chest as it tried to empty his lungs of water, the scrapes and cuts on his hands and arms, the ache from being hit with the knight’s weapon across his side and back.

His vision was blurry, darkness still thick around the edges, but he could see someone above him, leaning over him. Kamacite was too disoriented to be able to decipher auras, but his mind, as fuzzy as it was, could only formulate that his General must have pulled him out. To save him.

To collect his investment. Possibly to punish him later for being unable to save himself.

Whatever the reason, Kamacite didn’t care.

He didn’t care that his General only cared about himself and whatever he did to help or protect Kamacite was for his own gain and no one else. Kamacite knew this and he didn’t care. He didn’t care that he was just meant as a tool, an extension of his General’s power, because if he was alive that meant he got to see Adrien one more time.

His eyes fluttered closed as he coughed again, his body wracked with tremors as he tried to breathe again, shivering from the cold of the water, and instead of thinking about what his General might do to to him later, he thought again of his bright eyed Adrien who would be so worried about him when he didn’t get home at a decent hour.

Kamacite wasn’t sure if it was possible that the ache and longing in his heart could be more painful than his body felt, but it certainly seemed that way at the moment. What would have happened to Adrien if something happened to him. Surely he would find a way to move on, but at what cost? Kamacite didn’t want Adrien to suffer more than he already had in his life.

Tears spilled from the corners of his eyes, but they weren’t for himself. They were for Adrien. For the wolf. For the people he’d met in this city who had changed him. He knew it was hypocritical of him to be grateful for being allowed another chance when he still had every intention of collecting starseeds and taking those chances from other people, but he never claimed that he wasn’t selfish. At least about certain things, like being useful to his General.

Before he could think better of it, he weakly reached out to grab onto whatever he could reach of the wolf, knowing his General was close, and not wanting him to leave. He could never really tell what the wolf was thinking. Maybe he intended on pulling him out and once he was sure Kamacite was alive, he would take the starseeds he’d tied to his sash and then leave.

But even though the wolf didn’t care about Kamacite, at least not beyond his usefulness as a recruit and to him as a tool, Kamacite cared about him.

And no matter what circumstances lead to this moment, Kamacite was no longer alone. He had his General. He had Adrien. And he didn’t want to give that up. He didn’t care what punishment he received later, as long as he wasn’t left alone.

Fingers dug as tightly as he could manage in the wet fabric of the wolf’s uniform, a hiccuping sob escaping as he tried to just breathe and not cough, his throat raw and painful, unable to speak.

He just needed a moment… and then he would try to get back up… and then he would politely thank his General and apologize for his incompetence… and promise that he would make it up to him… He would give him the starseeds... and then go home… and kiss Adrien silly…

All he needed to do was… rest a little while longer.

His grip loosened and hand fell limp onto the ground as Kamacite slipped back into unconsciousness.