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 Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:59 pm
Something dripped from the tips of her hanging fingers and Cinnabar stared at it with a morbid sort of delighted curiosity, the muscles in her jaw slack enough to part her smudged lips.
I never expected there to be so much blood! She’d heard characters on tv say. It was surprising to find herself thinking the same thing as it ran down her arms and off her hands. She had no energy to wipe it away, though there was a part of her that wanted to clean the stickiness and the tang of metal off her skin.
How much longer have I got? The half youma wondered as she sat on the back stoop of a chinese restaurant she used to frequent when she was human and lived a few blocks over. The trail of blood ran back under the door behind her and she suspected she knew what she would find if she followed it. Every day, most lost time. Less time I have all my faculties and less time I am able to devote to my duties. How many days, before its snatch of minutes at a time? Before they all decide I’m too much like a rabid dog…
Her hand reached to scrub at her face, but froze mid-way, her nose crinkling at the sharp, metallic smell. The metal door behind her thunked as her head fell back into it, the back alley a little pocket of peace and silence for the general, at least for a little while. At least while she didn’t move, the blood drying on her hands.
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Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 6:59 am
There was the gentle clicking of heels nearby, coming out of nowhere; first there was no sound, and then there was the tap-tap-tap of footsteps. Chrysocolla turned the corner with her hair preceeding her, seafoam curls pushed by the breeze of her movement - she was already frowning, fingers tangled just below her waist, and whatever she thought of Cinnabar's bloodied state her face made no giveaway. "Cinnabar," she said, and her voice was worlds of gentle worry. "Is any of that yours? Are you hurt? And, um. Do you want me to stay?" She stood, poised, heel-to-toe; ready to leave if she was asked, ready to come closer if she was asked. There had been a girl behind those eyes, once, who would have cried at so much blood - but she was gone, now, leaving something else behind.
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Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2017 7:29 am
Cinnabar jerked awake as she heard her name, her form tensing as she shot a look down the alley. Muscles relaxed at the familiar sight and what had been a dangerous expression faded back into tiredness and a small curve of her lips in greeting.
“Chrysocolla.” She said as she slumped back against the door again. “None of it’s mine.”
The half-youma had to pause a moment at that, just to take stock and make sure, but she dismissed it with a small shake of her head as she found nothing really wrong... beyond what was normal, anyway. The corrupt looked hesitant… something Cin had never been able to train out of her. The softness, the insecurity, had never really left the girl, hard as she had tried to instill confidence in her. Regret nipped at her, but she brushed it away. Chrysocolla wasn’t her responsibility any more, though technically that had ended when she gained her eternal rank anyway, but no one was her responsibility now. And they were better off that way.
Cinnabar’s lips pursed and she rolled her head, shaking it slowly.
“You don’t have to leave. I think I’m too tired to do anything, anyway.” She grimaced, flashing fangs. “Which actually… could you give me a lift to the Citadel?”
It was as close as she could get to admitting she felt too weak to do it herself. She must not have bothered to pull and eat any starseeds this time. It made her wonder where her coat had gotten to, and its precious cargo. Losing it used to be less of a problem when she could simply summon another. She didn’t particularly want to go inside to search for it, though, and there was a stash in her rooms that could replace what she was leaving behind.
What a useless waste.
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Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2017 9:36 pm
She would have done anything Cinnabar had asked, if Cinnabar had only asked; she would have searched through the bloodied halls for the missing coat, she would have stolen someone's soul from their chest, she would have broken her own wrist, drained her own heart's energy. Chrysocolla would have done anything. She was too tired to think of rebellion, anymore; there was always the chance Umber would know, or someone else would, and her mind would be ripped away from her again. It was not a pleasant thought. She trusted Cinnabar to not rip her bare neck open in the alleyway. From one perspective, that might have been everything; from another, it wasn't even a love confession. "That's fine." She kneeled down, flashing the General a soft smile, and offered one arm to help her up. "It'll be easier for me if you're standing, okay?"
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Posted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 6:28 pm
She eyed the arm for a moment before she rocked forward finally and offered her elbow to grasp. It kept her bloody hands out of the way, and while she could have stood on her own if she'd summoned the will to, she allowed the corrupt to help her to her feet.
It wasn't often she needed help, or allowed herself to need it. It was rarer still to have someone she trusted to do so. The list of people who qualified was very short and she had to wonder if that made her worse off. She wasn't built to trust easily... but it seemed to lead to an awful lot of loneliness.
Maybe that wasn't so bad now, all things considered. Oh well.
"I heard you're working with Schörl now." She said as she straightened to her full height, shoulders back and body straight despite her tiredness. The blonde had been a prominent figure in her life with the Negaverse. One of the few she'd known since the near beginning. It made her happy knowing someone had taken her advice in seeking her out.
"What do you think of her?" Maybe a bit of an out-of-nowhere question... but it was better than talking about what was behind the door.
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Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:07 pm
Chrysocolla worried at her lower lip with her teeth, deliberating over the best way to say things; she didn't want to imply Cinnabar had done anything less than her best, after all. "...she's incredible, honestly...she's been really accommodating with me, and really patient." Holding onto the General's arm, it was only a few seconds before the world blurred around them, changing to the crystalline walls of Negaspace. Antiseptic wipes, towels, in neat piles; pillows and blankets littered the ground of the room. She let go of Cinnabar's elbow, a little bit, reaching out to steady the woman's waist. "She has this way of talking where, um...you really want to be everything she thinks you can be"
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Posted: Sat Jun 24, 2017 10:51 pm
The general smiled as the world faded away and the Citadel appeared around them. Her shoulders lowered as her tension eased and she reached for one of the towels, grateful to have something to clean her hands a little with. The blood left an unfortunate smudge of pink, but there wasn't much that could be done about it.
"I have always considered her one of my closest allies and friends. And she does." She said. "She's always been good at assessing a person's talents and weighing the net loss and gain of a situation to make good decisions. If you have the pleasure of knowing her on a personal level, she also seems to know what someone needs outside of our duties to our queen and the Negaverse. I'm happy that you're working with her... She's a far better general that I ever was."
She said it lightly, and without malice, but there was a twist to her lips, a little curl at the corners as though she laughed at herself. She had known from the start she could never match Schörl so she'd never tried. The Negaverse might not miss her, someday, but it would be a blow if they ever lost the green lion.
Cinnabar sighed and summoned her coat, letting the heavy leather and chains settle on her shoulders with a familiar weight. Her hands went automatically to the pockets, but curled into their emptiness in an awkward sort of way.
"I'm... glad things are working out with her." She said after a moment, her red-black eyes tired as she turned them on the young corrupt. "I know a lot of you were upset, when I transferred you... I hope you know its not because of anything you did. I was very proud to be your general, while I was."
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Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 5:27 pm
"Don't be so hard on yourself," Chrysocolla murmured, walking away for a bit and bringing back some cleaning wipes. "These might help with the blood, since it still looks pretty wet...I normally use them for scrapes and bruises, though, so I'm not sure if they'll really be too useful." She sat down with a huff of breath onto a nearby chair -- shoddy IKEA-make, it seemed. "I was never upset at you for transferring me." She chuckled to herself, a little. "I had more to be worried about, and I knew it was for our own safety, okay? Faustite, though -" and the Corrupt sighed, hand-to-forehead - "he was an issue. I know I let him order me around way too long, but I felt horrible about it...maybe if I'd put my foot down earlier I wouldn't have had to do what I did."
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Posted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 7:05 pm
Cin perked up as she took the wipes and began to work them over her fingers. They grew pink fast, but her hands were growing less red.
"Faustite? That's the new half-youma?" She hadn't been keeping up as closely with the rosters as she used to, or as she wanted to. She'd only vaguely been aware Chrysocolla had taken a lieutenant under her wing, and she'd only known he was a half youma because the turning of one of their own was News, of the sort she had special interest in.
Cin's head tilted as she angled a look at the corrupt, her voice neutral, but curious.
"A lieutenant has no right to order around an officer of your rank. Whatever you did, you had a right to do it." Her thoughts turned to a lieutenant she'd once trained herself. "Some people require... a firm hand. Some require a fist, if a hand isn't enough. Metallia doesn't have room in her ranks for someone who won't fall in line, and in the end, its better for you to teach him that lesson than for some white moon b***h to do it, yeah?"
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Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2017 5:50 am
"I felt guilty," she winced, eyes averting from Cinnabar to some point on the walls. "He was Umber's, and Umber has basically disappeared, so - he's younger than I am, Cinnabar. I didn't want to throw him straight into murder every senshi raaah territory. He was scared." Chrysocolla's fingers tangled in her lap, thumb over finger over pinky over thumb. "But I, um...I guess I should really know by this point I'm not suited for therapy, right?" She didn't look entirely convinced, still; but it was a child's morality, a child's concerns. She would always be a child in things like this.
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2017 6:04 pm
Cinnabar's hands slowed as she listened, but her expression was thoughtful.
She could answer sharply. Flippantly. With anyone else maybe, she would have. Her views tended to be very black and white, and very much based on who held the most power in a situation. It worked for her, and it could work for this corrupted, but only if she was willing to accept that she was the one with the power. So far, she had yet to own up to it, and the general suspected she might never, really.
Maybe she was just cut from different cloth. For every leader, there had to be followers. Maybe that was simply what Chrysocolla was, and under the right leader, she could flourish. It was a thorn to Cin, that she couldn't be that leader. Advise wasn't worth much, but it was all she had to offer any more.
"Trust me when I say that its better it come from you than from someone who will actually kill him. If he's scared, then you need to be strong for him Be the pillar that he can anchor to. Maybe that means you have to be firm with him, but remind yourself that you are doing it to help him. To keep him safe." She turned to face the young girl, her booted feet braced apart. "I don't really know what you are suited for, Chrys, but that just means it could be anything. I've told you before... you wouldn't be here if Metallia didn't think you were worthy of what she's given you. You need to learn to trust that, and yourself. And if you make a mistake, you're human. Own up to it, fix it. Find help yourself if you need it."
She waved a hand, mostly clean save for rings around her nails. "Schörl is someone you can always ask for advise. She's better at it, at... pushing people, or supporting them, or manipulating them to their benefit, and Metallia's benefit. I've always been sort of brute force about everything... Her finesse might suit you better. But you have to stop letting your guilt get in your way. You can feel it, but don't let it dictate your actions. If you want to help him, or anyone else, you have to do it for them, at least."
"I would help you more if I could." Cin said, her voice gentling.
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Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2017 8:41 am
"I know you would." Still, Chrysocolla looked like something was eating away at her, bit by bit by bit; she had looked bad when with youmaglia, persistently tired, always so fever-bright - this wasn't anything so supernatural. This was just human fear. (She had been taken young, barely half-a-year into Senshidom; she would always think like she was so young, until the day she died. But the nightmares about Laurelite's hands and kind voice and Umber, gruff, indistinct in the night - those had stopped so long ago.) (Now she had nightmares about Amphitrite during the escape, sometimes; Umber throwing her to the floor, her hair twisted in his fist, and so many sharp legs stealing away her consciousness; Kairatos as a crazed blur of red, the bones in her face breaking under his fists, still too angry to really notice. It was okay, though. She'd gotten into the habit of tuning these things out.) Chrysocolla fiddled with her fingers, staring at the ground, and felt very small.
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Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 3:07 pm
She wasn't really sure why she crossed the distance between them, her strides long and her hips swinging. She wasn't usually the type to cuddle or console someone, though physical contact happened often enough. The general wasn't even sure what she meant to do until she was doing it, and then it was nothing but natural.
Hands, not quite but almost clean, came up around the young woman's face. Claws curved, wicked black razors, but carefully withheld from the dusky skin as the space between them narrowed to a breath of air and Cinnabar couldn't help but loom in her leather and heeled boots, likely smelling of blood and dust and smoke.
Her black lashes lowered till her eyes were red slits and while she didn't say anything, there was a rumble in the back of her throat, pensive and warm. She could smell mint when she breathed in, her lips against the teal hair.
"You worry too much." She murmured, her voice coming from deep in her chest and rattling up through her throat. "Stop thinking. Just... be. You have everything you need already."
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Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 9:45 pm
In another situation, another instance, Chrysocolla would have loved for Cinnabar to touch her so gently, so close - but this wasn't those, wouldn't be, wouldn't be ever. She wasn't blind. Cinnabar was fading and she couldn't do anything about it, and if it ever hit a tipping point she - she didn't know what she'd do. Hot tears slid down her face, and a knot was caught in her throat, and she was crying why was she crying she'd stopped crying at everything like a ******** child over a year ago - "I don't," she murmured, and her voice was hoarse. "I can't help you." The General's smell was calming, so close; familiar to her lungs, like some sort of home. She would have drowned in it, given the chance. "I can't help anyone - not yet, but." Her shoulders shook, imperceptibly - "I will, I will."
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Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 10:50 am
Another rumble answered the young woman and one of Cin's shoulders rose and fell.
"No one can help me." She said, sliding her fingers through strands of hair. They slid across the scales on the backs of her hands, unfelt. "Its my own fault. I did this to myself."
It had taken so long to admit it, but she was past the point of being blind to it. Lies might serve, but only for so long, and she was not so stupid she would cling to it till the bitter end. Her lips curved in a smile as she heard the conviction laced through the voice at chest level and she brushed them against the top of the bowed head, just for a moment.
"I know you will. I never doubted it. In the meantime, I will take care of myself, like I always have and always do. You'll take care of yourself and those under you. That is your responsibility."
She pulled back finally, letting her hands fall away and straightening up with what pride and confidence she had left to her. It wasn't much, but it would suffice.
"Head home, Eternal. Get some rest. Its what I plan to do." She said. As Cin turned to go, she swept a hand up and brushed it down Chry's cheek, wiping away a few of the tears that had fallen free. She made no comment about them as she called her coat to her and let it settle, clean and heavy, on her shoulders.
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