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 Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 2:41 pm
The drive to Alexei’s was not necessarily quiet, but Alexei seemed to be either very tired or very focused. They had made only one stop—for food. At this hour there was very little open, so Alexei had settled for a drive through. His car was expensive, and immaculately maintained, but he never provided a word of caution when he handed over the bag of food. He did not ask for anything while he drove, though did occasionally question if Shiloh was doing all right or if he needed anything.
Ultimately, it was only a few minutes after the smell of burgers and fries filled the car when Alexei pulled off of a side road. Trees speckled the road for a while until they tapered off into a somewhat barren landscape. The road lead to a tall gate and high walls; though Alexei did not seem to press any buttons, the gate opened when he neared.
There was a slight incline and he drove up a small hill. It was dark outside, and there didn’t seem to be any lights that activated as they neared, but despite that the dark silhouette of his house—if it could be called that—was visible. The house seemed an antique, though some modern commodities had been installed. Security was important to Alexei and as he pulled up to the front of the house, two cameras focused on the car.
It was only now that an outdoor spotlight illuminated the pathway. The garage door opened and Alexei drove in carefully. He had a routine it seemed; he reached for his briefcase in the seat next to him only to recall at the last second that Shiloh was occupying the passenger’s seat. “Apologies,” he’d said briefly before he reached in back to grab it. He did not linger in the garage and instead guided Shiloh into the house.
The inside of the house confirmed what the outside suggested; it was clearly an old house, probably passed through generations. The garage lead to a hallway that connected to a large set of stairs. “The parlor’s just over here,” Alexei narrated, moving past closed doors. Much of the house was dark so Alexei turned on lights as he walked from one room to the next. His gait was deliberate and purposeful, though he seemed a bit off.
It wasn’t until they reached the parlor that he paused by a couch and gestured for Shiloh to take a seat that he commented, “You must excuse me. I’m not accustomed to guests. I can count the number of them in the past year on a single hand. But I’ll do my best to see that you’re comfortable.”
Again, he seemed to give Shiloh an attentive look over. “All you all right? Would you like a glass of wine? I’ll have to prepare a room for you but it shouldn’t take me more than a few moments. I’ll find you something to sleep in, too.”
He lingered for a moment before handing over the remote. Background noise was something he was used to, and the house could be daunting even if you hadn’t grown up with its shadowy corridors as a child. He wanted Shiloh to feel comfortable, not overwhelmed.
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 6:17 pm
Shiloh could only faintly remember getting into Alexei's car after having held his arm all the way from the office to the garage. He also barely registered when they went through the drive through, or the strong smell of hot burgers in the bag that rested in his lap. The only sounds he managed to make were soft 'I'm fine..'s and the occasional 'No, I'm alright...' Exhaustion was seeping heavy into every cell in his body, and his rough fingers rested anxiously on the space between him and the judge, wanting so very badly to take his hand and find the comfort he so desperately craved right now.
The last night he remembered being so anxious was right after his roommate had nearly... He didn't want to think about it, instead he looked out the window, realizing just how dark the area around them was. Had he not trusted the judge as much as he did, he'd probably be panicking right now, terrified of the prospect that he was being taken into a dark, isolated area with no one else around. Instead he just absently watched the landscape slowly reveal a solitary house. It was certainly large, much larger than Shiloh would have expected, and it seemed like no one was home... He did vaguely recall the judge telling him before that his house was empty except for him, and seeing it now made it certainly a bigger shame than he first anticipated. But that thought passed and soon enough he found himself inside of that very same house, eyes finally focusing again on what was around him and senses coming back, taking him off the self-imposed 'autopilot'. And suddenly, he found himself lost.
Oh... There was a table nearby, and after giving the judge a questioning look, he set it down, heading towards the couch where he was instructed to go.
"I'm not sure... Should I drink something...? Do you think it will help? I-I shouldn't drink though, I'm underage, but if you think it would help..." Shiloh wasn't sure he had ever even tasted alcohol, not that he didn't like it or anything, he wouldn't know. It was just that drinking seemed like a social thing to do, and he wasn't exactly social after all.
He thought about it, then looked towards the judge, noticing something a bit off about him... There was no quite placing what it was, but it was there, and it bothered Shiloh enough to ask.
"Sir... Are you alright?" His voice was soft, as if he really shouldn't be making much noise in such an old place. He was nervous, and a little scared, but not enough that it kept him from moving in closer to the judge. Or maybe it was because of that he moved closer. For a brief moment, he forgot who he was with, and his instincts to help out and give comfort like he often used to do with Ellis came out, and before he could stop himself, his fingertips reached up and brushed back a few strands of the judge's soft, white away from his face. Surprisingly, he didn't pull away, only moving his hand to give the slightest of touches to Alexei's cheek.
He was... Certainly handsome... A rather sharp face, very fitting for his age, and bold golden eyes that often felt like they were staring far deeper into a person than they could ever know. And yet when they were on him, Shiloh felt like they were the most gentle things in the world... Were he Ellis, Shiloh would have already had his arms around the judge, holding him tightly and maybe even crying a little as he sought out that comfort that he wanted so badly...
Yet he wasn't, and that realization caused Shiloh's eyes to go wide with uncertainty and fear.
"I-I'm so sorry!" he panicked, stepping back and bumping into the back of the couch and letting out a squeak when it surprised him. "I-I over stepped you boundaries! I'm so sorry I just.. I-I don't know what I'm doing, I'm so so sorry!!"
What could he even say right now? This wasn't like the touches their hands had done before, or the hand that held his shoulder not too long ago, it was much more affectionate and worrying than he had ever been before, and it forced a deep blush to come across his cheeks and ears.
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 8:36 pm
Alexei had an answer on his tongue when Shiloh asked about the alcohol, though he held his words when Shiloh approached him. He watched quietly as Shiloh reached to brush his hair and though his expression was inquisitive it was unlike the curious look he usually had—when he seemed like he was trying to look through someone and see all the flaws, all the lies.
“I’m fine, Shiloh,” he insisted after a second. “Honestly, you worry so much.” It wasn’t cruel or chastising; Alexei hardly even seemed alarmed. But he knew his words had a tendency to affect Shiloh in ways he hadn’t intended so he clarified, “I’m not used to people worrying about me, I mean. You must forgive me, I’m out of my element when confronted with concern. Let us just worry about you, instead. You promised me you would eat something. After a long night, a drink usually helps me sleep. I understand my house,” he gestured to the large room, “Can be a bit intimidating. It is old, so it creaks and the shadows seem to move. I supposed it might help you calm your nerves a bit.”
Offering an underage man a bit of alcohol couldn’t possible be as scandalous as inviting him back to spend the night at your place; Alexei figured he’d already sealed his fate by making the invitation alone. He didn’t have any nefarious schemes but Shiloh was so jumpy; Alexei didn’t think he was equipped to help him deal with nightmares if any should arise, so sleeping solidly through the night seemed like it might have been the best option.
Still, he remained in the living room and instead turned the television on to drive away the silence. The television was on a news channel and the volume was already turned low but he figured it served its purpose.
“You don’t need to apologize, you know,” he added, gaze sliding from the television back to Shiloh. “You’ve had a long night. The only thing that matters is making sure you’re all right.”
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 9:36 pm
It took along moment for Shiloh to finally nod slowly and pry himself away from the couch, even if just a little bit.
"Sir..." Tonight was certainly a night of emotional roller coasters, and just as quickly as he was to panic, he calmed again, feeling much more exhausted than before. Honestly, he found himself just wanting to go to bed, but Alexei was right, he did promise to eat something, and he wasn't about to let him down. "... I don't want to just worry about me all the time. If I do, I'll just get caught up in my own head, I think... I want to worry about you. I think I have... I want to be confident enough to just do that, okay? Would you let me...?"
Falling quiet, he finally moved from where he was standing, pressed up against the back of the couch, towards it's front, taking a seat and pulling a cheeseburger out. Though he wasn't really hungry, the greasy meal seemed to bring him a kinda comfort that made him think of the greasy street food he remembered having as a child when he was still with his mother. Of course, the quality was completely different, but it was that same sort of feeling, unhealthy food after a bad day. Today wasn't really all that bad though, just... Startling. Unexpected, and full of unease. And long. Very very long.
Chewing quietly, he just nodded at the thought of a glass of wine, and maybe, just maybe, it would manage to do some help. He supposed there was only one way to find out. "I will have one then, if you think it will help... What kind of wine even goes well with a burger...?"
While he waited for the wine, nervous about it's taste and how it might affect him, he gazed at the dark spots of the house, where the corners seemed just too far away for the light to touch. It didn't really bother him too much, for he knew darkness was only darkness... It was what hid within it that was actually scary.
"Do you sometimes get nervous alone here...? I-I mean... You've lived here a long time right...? Are you used to it...?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 9:58 pm
For a moment, Alexei watched Shiloh to make sure he was actually eating. A small smile, as soothing as he could manage, appeared on his face. “I think, given the occasion, all wine will go well with a burger, tonight. We’ll get into proper pairing techniques the next time I have you over for a meal, how is that? And we’ll do it properly, I’ll prepare something nice. This,” he gestured to the fast food, “Was a necessity. I’ve been up for too long today to be trusted in the kitchen.”
His eyes drifted to a shadow in the room and then back to Shiloh; he had planned to avoid what questions he could about the house, but if Shiloh wanted to worry about him, if he wanted something else to focus on…
Alexei could at least try.
He cleared his throat and shrugged. “Nervous is not exactly the word I would use to describe it. I have lived here for many years. The only time I did not call this house my home is when I was away for my studies. I moved back when I graduated, though. The house is…interesting. It’s certainly a character. But, I prefer this to living in the city, I think. I had an apartment near the college, while I was attending. It was constantly noisy. The street was always busy, my neighbors were always busy. Things were always moving, changing. I wasn’t in control of anything. Here,” he shrugged once more. “This is my home. It was my father’s, and my grandfather’s, and my great grandfather’s before him, and so on. To be here is preserving a piece of my family history. It has its moments, I suppose, where I find myself unnerved by it all. It’s a very large space, and I am only one man. The house is…empty. But it wasn’t always so.”
He seemed to think on it for a moment before he pushed himself away and went towards a wine cabinet that had been discreetly concealed as a piece of decorative furniture. He withdrew two glasses and took a few extra seconds to select a bottle. With ease, he uncorked it and made his way to the couch. Without hesitation, he sat only a few inches from Shiloh and poured them each a glass.
“If you don’t like it, please tell me. I don’t have much more than alcohol and coffee here, I’m afraid. I’ll pick up some soda the next time I’m out, though.”
He watched Shiloh out of the corner of his eye and asked, “Does the house make you nervous?”
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 10:26 pm
"Maybe if you wish to have me over for dinner we could make it so that I can help too. I'm not the best cook but I'd like to think I'm a decently fast learner...If nothing else, I can be a useful taste tester." Alexei's smile was met with one of his own, and he seemed to slowly get more comfortable sitting on the couch in the large old house. Oddly enough, it didn't frighten him at all.
As the judge spoke, Shiloh found himself relating to the situation, thinking about his mother's home in the Philippines. While his father and mother technically lived on a military base, his grandmother lived in the country, in a big ol' farm with generations all living nearby. It was a wonderful community for sure. And then suddenly he found himself in America, all alone. It certainly was strange...
"When did it become so empty...? It does seem a shame to have such a large home to yourself, not even a pet to keep you company... Have you thought of renting out space? Or maybe inviting other family to come every so often? Oh... I suppose not... You do value you privacy... Surely they'd just be invading... I hope that my staying here isn't too much of a bother..." Of course, he already knew what the Judge's answer would be, and he just sighed, ending it with a smile and picking up the glass set before him. With the other so close already, Shiloh just gave into that instinct he had that had been poking and prodding at the back of his mind for some time and slightly leaned against the judge. This would be alright... Right? He had already stepped past boundaries once, and the judge took it in stride, maybe this would be alright too. After staring at the glass in his hands, he took a swig, finding it rather unpleasant, but warm in his belly. And then he took another.
"Nervous...? No, not really... I have you here, so I-it's not that scary... Maybe alone at night it would be intimidating but right now, it's... It's nice... It almost feels familiar... Like behind in my own little home.... Um... I suppose I mean like, I-I don't really feel like anything bad would happen here." Having stumbled across his words enough, he took a longer swig of his wine, downing it easily. Already he could feel himself warming from the tips of his toes to the tips of his fingers... Maybe this was what the judge meant by making the sleep come easy.
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2017 7:07 pm
Alexei swirled the wine in his glass as he thought. “Nothing bad generally happens out here. It’s too far away from the city for people to think it’s worth their time. I have a very good security system, though.” He was tired already and didn’t seek to use the wine to push him into slumber; he intended to just enjoy the taste and try to relax a bit.
“I do value my privacy so,” he shrugged. “You are correct about that. I couldn’t imagine inviting strangers to come stay here. I try to keep my important documents with me at all times, but I’d hate for someone to find something they shouldn’t see in here. I don’t need the money, so there’s no reason to rent it out, and I don’t have the time to devote to a pet. It seems a bit too unfair to bring one in if I know my work will keep me at the office and on an unpredictable schedule. But,” he rested against the back of the couch, “I don’t mind being alone. I’m very work oriented, I’m sure you’ve noticed. I’m not a very good host,” he confessed.
He didn’t seem to think it was such a terrible thing, though. “But I find you easy to be around so I don’t feel quite like I need to put on a show for you. It would probably be beneficial to have you over. I can teach you how to prepare some healthy meals. I had a nightmare about your sandwiches the other night. Greasy, slimy cheese. I woke up with a bad taste in my mouth and had to go brush my teeth,” he mused. It wasn’t the first dream he’d had about Shiloh, but he wasn’t too keen to discuss what thoughts seemed to lurk in the depths of his subconscious.
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Posted: Mon May 01, 2017 9:30 pm
After the first few sips, the wine began to grow on him, and he took a longer swig, quickly emptying his glass and returning to the half eaten burger on the table. Even after that, he returned to leaning against the judge, listening to him talk and share his thoughts on everything.
He was right in his assumption about the judge, and it all made sense... Still it seemed awfully lonely just thinking about it.
"N-no, you're a fine host for me... You're doing your best, and it makes me happy that you even would bring me along. I would really, truly enjoy coming back here again... I find a great deal of comfort when I'm with you... I think... I think you really do help keep me calm and try to think things through instead of panicking... It would be a benefit for me as well, being near you, I mean." It was true, honestly he could just crash right here, if the judge would let him. He truly didn't need much to be happy here, heck, just hearing the Judge's voice calmed his nerves. And the notion that Alexei could be himself around him... Well, he could just feel a quiet sort of pride fill his chest. At least he could be useful in some way to the judge, even if it was just for relaxing with. The comment about his sandwiches though... That just left him smiling and even laughing softly, covering his mouth a bit so food wouldn't go everywhere in case he happened to snort.
"Dreaming of my sandwiches, huh...? I'm so sorry to have traumatized you from that night! I promise, I've eaten better. I even put meat on my sandwiches these days, promise!" His words were laced with laughter as he thought about the poor cheese sandwiches tormenting the judge at night. It was a silly concept indeed, but more than enough to lighten his heart away from the shock of earlier. By the time he was done laughing, he had finished his food and resumed leaning against the judge.
A light, warm feeling had seemed to surround him from the tip of his ears to his toes, and with that came a bit more confidence than he was to feeling. Enough so that he gently wrapped an arm around Alexei's, pressing his nose against his shoulder for a moment that lingered more than he would admit.
"It's late... You have to go back into the office in the morning, right? Maybe... Maybe you should head to bed... Can I... Um... Can I come too? J-just to stay by your side...? I-it would also be less work if you didn't have to make up another room, right...? I don't move around much in my sleep, I don't think... A-and I'm pretty sure that I'd be able to keep evil cheesy dreams away..."
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Posted: Tue May 02, 2017 1:25 am
Alexei laughed softly and seemed to think for a moment. He hadn’t had someone in his bed in longer than he cared to admit—college, maybe? Law school? Long enough ago that he could only remember the briefest moments of the encounter—and it certainly hadn’t ever been in this house. But, if Shiloh was going to pick a night, he’d picked a good one.
The sheets had just been washed and he knew the bed was made up. The bedroom wouldn’t be personally telling and Shiloh wasn’t bound to find anything odd or incriminating in there. In any of the guest bedrooms…Alexei hadn’t stepped in them in so long he didn’t know what he might find.
“I suppose,” he said; the words left his lips before he really considered them.
It was too late to take them back though; he paused and then downed the rest of his drink.
“I have a bit more work to finish up so I won’t be going to sleep just yet, but I’ll show you to the room and get you something to wear.”
He gave Shiloh a quick look over and then nodded. “I think I can find something to fit you. Shall I throw your clothes in the wash so you have something clean to wear tomorrow?”
He pushed himself up and extended a hand to take Shiloh’s, intending to pull him up as well. He could show Shiloh to the bed, get him settled in and then clean up down here before preparing for bed and finishing up his paperwork. And maybe take an extra few minutes to make sure everything was locked up and safe.
Just in case.
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Posted: Tue May 02, 2017 1:25 pm
... Huh?
Did he...? Was that actually a yes? Shiloh's eyes grew just a little wider as he looked up at Alexei over the edge of his glasses, just not quite sure if he believed him or not.
But he seemed to have thought it over, perhaps after the fact, but he didn't take it back... So it was a yes, and Shiloh just shyly nodded with a smile, letting go of his arm to let him stand.
"No need... That would just mean you'd have to stay up longer to put them in the dryer, right..? I can take care of them later, if that's alright with you." Now that he thought about it, he probably didn't smell the most pleasant. After all, the attack had taken place while he was taken out the garbage and he didn't exactly fall in rain water back then. Actually, the more he thought about it, the more horrified he felt about having tainted the Judge's home with his smelliness...
"I-I can take a shower, right? It's okay if things are a little big on me, It's fine... I-it'd be really gross to sleep with a smelly ol' janitor, wouldn't it?" The other context of his words failed to register, only the thought of how horribly he smelled filled his mind.
"Maybe I should stay up and wash them then..." he muttered to himself before blinking at the hand offered and taking it without a second thought and allowing himself to stand, shadows and leftovers forgotten in favor of gazing up worriedly into Alexei's eyes briefly, then averting them once more, intimidated more than he'd like to admit, but not in an entirely bad way.
"Ah... Speaking of tomorrow, would you like me to wake up and leave when you do? I-I'm sure you don't want me hanging out here alone... N-not that I would do anything! It's the whole privacy thing... And I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome... "
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Posted: Thu May 18, 2017 10:19 am
Alexei watched with one brow raised; he had the shadow of a smile on his face, as if Shiloh’s uncertainty was in some way amusing and he was just too polite to laugh. “Shiloh,” he said after a few seconds of contemplating ho to reply. The smile was more pronounced and he seemed like he was trying to be a bit gentler.
“Take a shower, and while you do that we’ll throw your clothes into the washer. I won’t stay up, you can put them in the dryer in the morning—or, whenever you wake up. If you want to be up in the morning, I’ll drive you home. If you aren’t ready by the time I am, I’ll leave some bus money or something.”
He shrugged; it didn’t seem to make too much difference to him, but he added, “If you leave later than me, you’ll have to lock up. I’ll leave you a key and just fetch it from you at work. Though, you might have a bit of a walk. I don’t think there’s a bus stop for ten, fifteen minutes away.”
He didn’t talk about not snooping in the house though, or warning Shiloh to stay out of this or that. It wasn’t that it didn’t occur to him, it was just that he couldn’t see Shiloh really having the nerve to snoop. He seemed like such a people pleaser—and certainly seemed grateful for what Alexei was doing for him.
Alexei doubted Shiloh was the type of person to take that for granted. He was shy and respectful and polite and if a door was closed, he could only trust that Shiloh would respect that.
He held Shiloh’s hand firmly and began to lead him through the house. Everywhere Alexei seemed to use was downstairs; he barely seemed to care at all about the upper floor. Turning the light on to the bathroom, he revealed a fairly well kept room, though its décor was a bit barren. He withdrew two towels from the closet next to the bathroom and placed them on the bathroom counter. He seemed to debate for just a moment and returned to the closet to withdraw a plain white bathrobe. “It isn’t much,” he explained, “But it will give me time to fetch you something to wear while you wash up. Take as long as you need, all right? I’ll be in the living room when you’re done. If you get lost, you can call me.”
He looked at him for a moment, as tall as imposing as always, and yet with that same soft look in his eye that seemed to get only when looking at Shiloh. “I’ll be here when you need me,” he said, and though they were simple words, the gravity in which he said them implied that that the offer wasn’t meant for just tonight alone.
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Posted: Tue May 30, 2017 1:38 pm
"Ah... Alright." With Alexei having firmly made the final decisions of how the night would go, Shiloh eased himself once again into a comfortable quiet. Things always did feel better with a more solid plan, and even more so when someone else made the plans for him. He would be the first to admit he had troubles making decisions and was all too ready and eager to give the reigns to someone else. While that certainly lead to some unfortunate circumstances in the past, with Alexei it felt as if only good things could happen. And for once, Shiloh decided, on his own, to trust that gut feeling and find a small bit of happiness in it.
And maybe, just maybe, the happiness grew a little larger when Alexei led him about the house, hand in hand, right to the bedroom where they would spend the night together. A soft blush crept along his cheeks as he was taken about. For as much as he tried to keep focus on where he was going, just in case he needed to double back, his eyes kept wandering to their hands, lingering on them until they came to a stop and it was let go. Only at tiny bit of sadness was felt, immediately followed by a sense of curiosity as to his new surroundings.
It was a cozy bedroom and bathroom, despite it's large size, and Shiloh took immediately to it, liking how it all faintly smelled of the Judge's cologne. Not in an overpowering way, but in a way that let you know the owner of the room favored the scent. Everything had that scent to it. Well, that and the fresh smell of the fabric softener he used, noted as Shiloh picked up a towel and pressed his nose into it, finding it all very cozy and warm and wonderful.
"I know... Thank you so much, Alexei... Truly, thank you..." The urge to stop Alexei from leaving was so strong that he could barely stand it! Shiloh wanted to pull him back into the bathroom with him and hold him for a good long while just so he could cry his tears of relief and contentment against him. He wanted to grip on tight and whisper gentle words of thanks and affection and tell the Judge just how important he was to him, but nothing came from his lips. And a surprisingly large part of him so desperately wanted to plead with the older man to not leave him alone even now, not that he was afraid but because he found himself adoring the older man as much as one could without having the proper label for what he felt.
Yet he did not, and only gave one last nod before closing the door to the bathroom.
This was wrong. He didn't deserve such kindness and he was a fool to think he deserved anything else! His self doubt and worry poked and prodded at him as he emptied his pockets and undressed. Words of self loathing and shame for the fact that he was too much of a coward to do anything crept up his spine and nagged away at his fragile little ego. In an attempt to drown out any potential sounds he would make as the tears already began to well up in his eyes, Shiloh threw on the shower's water, letting it splash against the back wall as there was no one to stop it.
And for just a brief moment, he let his tears fall and his heart ache.
---
After his moment of weakness, his shower was over pretty quickly, and he stood there damp and wrapped up tight in the robe that was left for him. It was impossible to get the unruly mop of curls on his head to calm down, so he just vaguely dried them before poking his head out into the hallway.
Luckily, showers were an excellent excuse for puffy red eyes. Clumsiness with a little soap was as easy an excuse as any... Now if he could only steady his voice.
"Alexei...?" He called out, trying to raise his voice above a whisper without it cracking on him. "W-where's the laundry room? I'll put my clothes there..." His wallet and keys could stay beside the sink for now. There would be no harm in them remaining there, and he was sure to not miss them when he would get up in the morning.
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 12:20 am
“I’m here,” Alexei called; his voice kept steady but it sounded like he was moving. Only a few seconds later he came from the direction of the living room. He smiled when he saw Shiloh and gently took his arm so he could guide him. “The laundry room is right over here.”
He walked him slowly just down the hall. He turned the light on to reveal a sparsely decorated laundry room. He released Shiloh and set up the washing machine for him, trying to make this as easy as possible.
When he was ready, he gestured for the younger man to throw his clothes in. “And when we’re done here, we’ll get you up to bed. You’ve had enough trouble for one night.”
He caught a look at Shiloh’s eyes for the first time and watched him more observantly; he seemed to be thinking deeply, no doubt reading into the red eyes, but if he suspected it was anything other than an accident with the soap, he said nothing.
He stood a little closer, a little more protectively, and wrapped his arm around Shiloh again, patting him gently on the back. “Everything’s all right,” he promised softly.
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Posted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:39 pm
It took but a moment for the Judge to be once again by Shiloh's side, and the gentle touch on arm was the epicenter of warmth and comfort spreading all through Shiloh's smaller frame. The guiding hand held him fast and set up everything that would be needed to rest comfortably, the clothing neatly tucked into washing machine and the lid closed. What was just silence before slipped into a low rush of water as it filled and for a moment Shiloh stood there dumbly.
He was lost within his own mind and worries, puffy red eyes having met Alexei's before quickly looking down again. Whatever confidence and solace he had found in his wine and against Alexei's side seemed to had washed away down the drain along with the rest of the filth of the day, leaving nothing but an empty space that was quickly filling up with worry and panic and driving him wish desperately to leave this strange house. His hands folded before him gripping tightly with one another, clenching and unclenching, rubbing around rough circles in an attempt to fight back a strange and stressful tingling sensation that bubbled up in his distress.
And then it happened, Alexei pulled him close, a single arm wrapped around him and touched him in a way that he so desperately longed for so often. Nothing sexual or romantic or anything of the sort. It was a pure, innocent sort of feeling that came across his senses and the sweet whispered promise from the older man finally broke down the thick wall Shiloh so desperately tried to build up to protect himself. And then the promise made his eyes go wide, fingers releasing themselves almost in a confused way.
"Alexei..." He barely breathed, the name so cherished and natural as it left him in his ever shaking way, and he turned his eyes upwards to meet his protector's for the slightest of moments until his own arms came up to wrap tightly around the older man's middrift. It was the first time he managed to speak the other's name, and it was immediately followed by a soft cry, Shiloh's eyes pressed up against the other's shoulder.
Though he did cry, it was almost silent as his shoulders shook, fingers desperately clinging to the back of Alexei's dress shirt. Every bit of them that touched, their arms, their legs, their chests and everything else added to the emotions that were quickly overwhelming Shiloh in a way that he couldn't ever remember feeling before.
He felt wanted and safe in Alexei's grasp without feeling as if he were a burden. Although he knew he was and knew that he was so troubled and ill-prepared for so many things Alexei never made him feel like he was any less important. It made no sense whatsoever that he had earned such kindness but for once his heart and mind didn't care and he relished the feeling even though his tears.
"I know..." He finally manged to say, forcing his words over a hiccup. "I-I know, because I have you, a-and I just... Thank you, Alexei..." While there were so many other words he wanted to say, he couldn't, not with the hiccups coming still and his voice cracking. But this was his moment to not feel any guilt about it and he wasn't going to let it be ruined for anything. For once, he allowed himself to be selfish and take the affection he craved so desperately. "Stay with me... Please... Please don't leave me again... Keep me close, just for tonight... Just... I need you... Please..."
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Posted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:26 pm
Alexei wasn’t a physical man; he bristled into the hug until he forced himself to relax. Contact like this was all but foreign to him; handshaking was normal, but anything beyond that? He hadn’t hugged someone in years. But Shiloh was fragile and Alexei didn’t try to push him away.
He realized, after a few seconds, that the hug wasn’t as uncomfortable as he expected.
His cold, stony demeanor had slipped away some time earlier in the night, and every time Shiloh showed some vulnerable side of himself, Alexei felt an urge to protect him. Crying made him uncomfortable; he didn’t know what to do. He saw enough of it in the courtroom that he had simply distanced himself from the emotion, but Shiloh was different.
Shiloh was here, in his house, in his room, trusting him for comfort.
Alexei was not one to disappoint.
“I’ll be here,” he reassured, tightening his grip on Shiloh just slightly. “I’ll stay all night and make sure you’re all right. And if you need anything, you need only say it. All right? Just remember to speak up. Promise me,” he insisted, stern, but from a place of obvious concern.
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