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Truth be told, Acubens was not sure what day it was. Between planting and working and getting through all of the crap she'd been getting through since her talk with Xi-Wang, the days all kind of blended into one long span of time. It wasn't until she powered up for the evening to go on her nightly rounds that she got the feeling that she was missing something. She texted everyone she knew, asking if they had made plans that she may have forgotten. Nothing. It wasn't until she was on her way out the door that she realized what day it was and what time was quickly approaching.

And just in time, it seemed.

She skidded to a halt as her basic attack wore off (she was not above using her magic to make it to appointments) just as the arranged time rolled around. Acubens took a moment to fix herself before approaching Chione cheerfully.

"Hey you," she chirped, taking a seat next to her. "Wow, when you said dinner, I kinda just expected MacDonalds. I feel kinda bad... I'll get food next time." If there was a next time. Bischofite no longer loomed behind her, but that didn't mean that his rhetoric was totally gone. It was just in her voice now. But somehow that seemed... more manageable.

"Good to see you again. I was... kinda worried that I'd seen the last of you."

Holy s**t Mexican food. Acubens' face lit up at the sight, the spicy scent wafting up to hit her in the face. She accepted the food with a thankful nod and a smile.

"Here we are," she parroted and a smile so different from the one she forced last week. "And don't ever be sorry. Especially not with Mexican food and holy s**t there's wine too? Girl, I am always up for a drink, that is something that you need to know about me." And then the question of whether or not she was alright. Acubens hid her face for a moment, trying to find the words.

"Uh yeah, actually. Way better. Plot twist, you were right. Talking about it with someone made it easier to deal with. It was a total accident though... I hadn't planned to talk about it. I was worried that... if I talked about ti at all, it would become real. I know what I did, but as long as I never told anyone about it, I could ignore it. The only one who knew what I had become is dead so... no pressure right?" She laughed nervously and unwrapped her tamale, taking a big bite out of it so that she could take a second and find the next words.

"You probably want to know what I'm talking about, right? I don't mind sharing now but... I also don't want to force it on you. It's... well it's heavy s**t."

"You're not a stranger though," Acubens countered through a mouthful of tamale, "You're my family. Besides, it's partially selfish. I can practice on you before I tell... well... Prince Remarque..." Oh geeze. How was she going to tell him what happened? In truth, Acubens hadn't planned that or how she was going to tell Lesath. Or Leto. Oh gosh. She didn't give the panic time to settle in her bones, though, as she launched into her story with a heavy sigh.

"I wasn't always Dark Mirror. I was awakened into the White Moon. Never really felt at home though. I tried to find answers but... no one ever gave me any. But the people who did offer some answers were the Dark Mirror Court. It was smaller even then this at time time, though... But I was never ready to leave my life behind.

"Until Bischofite. He was... well he was evil. In the truest sense of the word. I don't know why, but I took it upon myself to stop him, even though he was stronger, faster, smarter than me. More cunning. Most importantly, however, he was more unpredictable than me. The more I fought him, the angrier I got. The angrier I got, the more fun he had with me. then began his games." It wasn't as hard as it had been telling Xi-wang but... Acubens still had to take a shaky breath to steady herself.

"He started out simply enough. Stop be before I hurt the civilians. And he was smart. The first few times I was able to stop him. He let me stop him. No one got hurt. But then they did get hurt, but it was just cuts and bruises. they were more scared than anything. Then cuts and bruises turned into lacerations and broken bones. I kept rationalizing it though. They weren't dead, right? And I had to take the chance to stop him...

"Meanwhile... I was changing. It was easier for me to make the choice to put people in harm's way in the name of stopping him. It's why I won't fight anymore. Not unless I have to. It got too easy to trade someone's safety for my brand of justice. But... outside of this... outside of Acubens. Who I was as a civilian was changing. I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating. My parents and my twin... none of them knew what to do with me. I was hurting them, and I didn't know how to stop."

She reached for another tamale to keep from twisting her hands nervously.

"And then his final game. The lives of a dozen civilians for the chance to stop him. And I didn't think twice. Those that I didn't kill myself he made me watch while he tore them apart... the White Moon turned it's back on me after that and the Dark Mirror took me in... and I thought I was over it but... then Bischofite showed up again... I dreamed him, even though I watched him die, and he followed me into my waking world. He kept... whispering to me. He killed my brother night after night, telling me that I had sacrificed him. And I believed him... he's gotten quieter but... I still see him sometimes..." She trailed off then, seemingly lost in her own thoughts, though not quite the wreck that she had been when Chione had found her the week before.

That... seemed to be the general consensus... but until Acubens accepted it herself it would never be the truth.

"I still made the choices. I still acted. It's not a question of morality at this point for me. I know that I was a puppet. It's a matter of character. I should have walked away. I should have always chosen the innocent lives. In the end I don't think he twisted me into something that I wasn't. I think he made me more clearly know what I truly was. I'm prideful. I'm stubborn. I need to prove myself to someone. To anyone. Those are my fatal flaws and he knew that..."

Acubens was so lost in her thought that she almost missed the hand in her hair. It made her jump a little... Raven used to like to do this too... It confused Acubens, to be honest. Raven had never meant it as more than a sign of filial affection, but this felt... different. Was there a polite way to say that she was married to her work right now? That she didn't generally see people within the court as a rule to avoid friction? Maybe it was just better to remain silent. She could have been reading too far into it.

"Thank you," she muttered finally. "I appreciate the kind words. But that's why your reluctance to be a Dark Mirror Senshi is so confusing to me, you know? I literally gave my life to join this court. You got a free pass in. I mean I get it... but I don't, you know?"

She wasn't into it... but how? When there were so few answers and so many questions? When so many people were torn apart by the war and they had to chance to stop that pain. They could provide a relief, like field medics, to those in suffering. Come home and forget about the war. Focus instead on protecting what we have from everyone. They were the sole source of good in this war, even the White Moon destroyed the city when it fancied them.

"I mean... I get having a life outside of this but... this protects that life. With a war waging all around us, we only want to protect as many people as possible from the collateral. Doesn't that matter?"

This girl sent Acubens' mind reeling. She touched her like she wanted to be a lover, but she wasn't able to devote even a portion of herself to the court that had saved Acubens' life. To her, those things were mutually exclusive. If someone wanted to be involved with her, they had to understand that her court came first. It was the greater good. It was her family. It was everything to her.

Acubens considered the other woman for a long time, sipping her wine as she did so. What could have happened that turned her from her own court? Was it really just that this wasn't her jam? But even if that were true... she had been called on. Chione had a duty to answer it, as far as Acubens saw. Was it because no one had shown her what to do? What goals to set and what their purpose was?

"It's easy to avoid," Acubens agreed, "for now. But wars always come home. We bring them home. That is the nature of war." She couldn't ignore it, just the same as Acubens couldn't ignore it. And she had tried. She had run all the way to Scotland to ignore the war, but she had come back because she could not, in good faith, allow it to wage and do nothing. "There won't be make up and blogging if the Negaverse and the Order burn this earth. They are both so focused on destroying one another... they don't care who burns in their wake. That's why we exist. To put out the fire. To end the war. Not win it. Just finish it."

"I don't want to pressure you into anything, that's all," Acubens admitted finally, mirroring Chione's action of insecurity by drawing her legs up into herself. "I just hope that you can find a reason like I did. And I hope you can find it before the other side gives you one." They couldn't lose any more people. Normally, Acubens would push and press someone like this, proding and probing to find out what they were like so that she knew what to say in order to get them on her side. On the safe side.

But for Chione... it made more sense to move lightly. Speak softly. Don't press too hard. Lest her companion run away again. If Acubens frightened her away, then Chione was in all the more danger of being drafted into a war that she had no stock in. She just had to keep her where she was, unsure and uninterested. then she could work towards something else.

And then the request pulled Acubens gently from her thoughts.

"You mean... as a civilian?" Acubens only showed herself to her students... people that she knew were devoted to the family as much as she was. Could she trust Chione? She didn't seem to mean any harm but... there was no bit. Part os earning Chione's trust would mean working with her as a civilian. Showing her who she was in her weakest moments.

"I mean... sure. Why not!"