Welcome to Gaia! ::

Everything hurt. Her skin still shifted over her muscles, Chaos-burned and sore, and her mind still lagged behind. Her muscles still lagged, tired and aching; her mind still stumbled through foggy half-forming thoughts, and Titanite couldn't make it go away. She was unsure how to proceed, drifting through a lack of conviction and a doubt in what she had spent the last years of her life doing.

Wondering in a large part why she served, when it all seemed so pointless and wrong. When her Genral had spoken he seemed to make everything so clear, but in the time sense- with the things she had seen since- why had she been chosen, she wondered. When so many others around that time had merely been plucked instead? What had her Chaos-serving master seen that led him to grant her this life?

It was a question she would never know the answer to, but since the night at the warehouse his voice still rang in her ears, whispering disappointment.

Since her battle with Orcus, she wondered who she might have been if he had not made her Titanite, but let her grow as Shahar. Dead, perhaps? Her body unable to handle the things she did to it? Or her life plucked from her by another?

Her attention was faltering, lips pursed, and she sniffed against the cold. She missed the heady heat of home, the smells and warmth of the bazaar at midday. Even after so long, she missed home. Especially when she was feeling introspective.

The pulse of an Order aura and the sudden question startled the Captain, and her head shot up, hands going to a defensive position though she knew that logically Order wouldn't be speaking if they intended to start with violence; they would start with a fist to the face. Which in many ways would be easier to deal with than a question. Physical things, Shahar understood. Relished.

"Am I- yes. I am... cold." Titan straightened her shoulders, tilting her head to consider the person in front of her, water-hued hair shifting behind her as she adjuster her weight from one foot to the other. The captain was not surprised to have to look down some, but she was surprised to see that the other person was more concerned for her than about her. It was an odd kindness, and the Captain gave the senshi a grave nod, lips pursing. "I know it is Spring, but the days still chill me sometimes. I walk, yet the blood does not pump in my veins."

She shifted to consider the senshi, finally holding out her hand in a wave, not expecting a shake. "What are you? Senshi, yes, but you all have a sphere, yes?"

Shahar blinked at the senshi in discombobulated surprise. Apologies? For startling her? "Why apologize?" she murmured, her accent thick, "It is my- no." her brow furrowed, and she pursed her lips, considering. Running on the rooftops would do little to aid her level of disconcerted confusion; would do little more to help her sleep than create a sweat on her skin. She needed to exhaust herself, not just work herself to a lather.

But perhaps.

"Spar with me." it was an impulsive offer, and silly. "I am- I require distraction. I have battled few enough senshi, I am usually harassing some little boy with a fondness for throwing cranberries in my face." her nose scrunched. The little white-haired girl whispered at the edge of her vision. Titanite closed her eyes. "We are supposed to be enemies, yet you and so many of your kind are strangely gentle, Tian-" her face contorted, her thick accent finding the name difficult. "-Gun?"

Gentleness got people killed. And those who were foolishly kind, she was loath to lose. There was so little of that in the world.

She was actually a bit startled when the senshi agreed to the sparring match. Titanite blinked, not bothering to hide her surprise- or her delight. Yes, a sparring match was just what she needed. Shifting her weight, Shahar took a clear moment to try and adjust herself- let her body shift from its huddled, scrunched form to Titanite.

"Not everyone wants to fight, but all should be ready for it," she said heavily. "I do not want to fight a war. I just enjoy combat. Exercise." Other than getting high or drunk or Halo or sex, a good fight was pretty much the next best thing. When your top five joys in life were full of violence against yourself or others... it was time to reevaluate some things.

The Wraith giggled in her ear.

"Tian guh-ahh?" she tried again, but the pronounciation stuck oddly in her throat, and she wrinkled her nose, shaking out her arms. "I will stick to Tia- do you actually have a first aid kit?"

Yet another curve ball thrown at the agent, who was, again, genuinely perplexed. Who carried first aid kits around? It wasn't as though the powered community needed them... or as though they could help a civilian who had lost a starseed.

Shaking her head, Titanite gave the senshi a wry smile. "I do wish to fight," she corrected with humor, "I just do not wish to maim, murder, or permanently disable." she doubted that the senshi would appreciate Titan's theory that humans were like living batteries to be nurtured for the Negaverse and not wasted through death; something told her that the kind of person who brought first aid kits to the battlefield would not be.... pleased.

"Lots of people bleed, Tian. Patching up those who bleed because they tried to do you harm is a mistake. If you are not particularly clever, it could be a fatal one." Shahar wasn't threatening her, but neither did she sound particularly concerned. It was a fact of life, like the sun rising, or a dog pissing on a fire hydrant. The weak were used, and weeded out. Caring for others was not a strength. It opened people up to loss, failure, and death. Shifting, she sucked in the evening air, feeling her lungs expand as she re-centered herself.

Ready? Titanite's response was to unfurl, the Captain blasting forward with her magical speed, throwing a low kick towards the senshi, aimed towards her knees. The attack was carefully restrained- for now. Magical power or not, most people hadn't spent most their lives practicing sports like Titanite herself.

Which reminded her she needed to meet with Leucite again. The man had said he would be seeing about getting her with a coach for the amateur circuit. It was better money than she'd been making of late with her evening job, in any case. If Amateur led her to professional... That could be some fun money indeed.

"I suppose that would depend on the definition of disabling, but no, I would not hesitate to disable an enemy who meant to do me harm. No one should hesitate to protect themselves. No one should be unable to." there was no point in sugarcoating the truth to someone who already knew some part of Titanite's inner self, laid bare to the world through magic and Chaos.

"Perhaps it does seem like taking from the poor. I do not steal, though, apart from energy- their wallets and belongings are their own. I do not take enough to leave them helpless. And most of those I drain are willing participants, compensated in some way for their loss." Usually with sex, or some minor trinket. Blankets, over the winter, for those who had a need. In summer, smaller objects, easier to carry.

Shahar was a woman who worked the streets for her small apartment, or begged her parents for help. Her degree was of little use in Destiny City, and she could not yet go home to make it of use. She could probably reach out to one of the higher-ranked contacts in the Negaverse to see if anyone needed a flunky, but there was a certain pride in making her own way as she could.

The addition of income in the amateur MMA circuit would be welcome, but she had not yet worked her way into making money off of her fighting, she was still breaking about even after training and fees and... Well. It paid her gym membership. But she had not been doing it long. Her name was not known for more than being the talk woman.

"Literally died?" Shahar tilted her head. "Heart stopped and everything?" there was interest there, curiosity. "I mean to say, congratulations on your return. I have not met anyone who died before. My mother would want to know if you came back able to see ghosts, but then she is much into New Age spiritualism."

Purification. Titanite shifted, shaking her head. "I like being Titanite. Titan, the smaller of two." she said it gently, wincing as she let Tian make solid contact with her thigh, her own leg shoving forward into the contact, a counter-blow in case the senshi was not sturdy with their footing. "The name is appropriate for me. Who would I be if I gave up myself? My family, my home, my few friends, everything I know?"

It would be a lie that she had not wondered if she was in that path to betrayal. But was she ready to go so far? To sacrifice everything?

"Stealing energy would be stealing," Titanite countered the laugh with a little grin, "But I am buying it to drain. See the difference? Do not get me wrong- yes, sometimes I steal it. The more people there are in an area, the less is taken from each one. I could go to a mall, enter a busy department store, and 10 people would think they had climbed the stairs instead of taken the escalator. Little sips, Tian. Pay when you can. Humans are not sheep animals for the shear and the slaughter. Not to me." Even now, after all this time with the Chaos in her veins.

Tian's story was intriguing, and the Captain listened carefully to the story, eyes wide with interest. Civilians in space, battling, as spirits? Souls? Her mother would have a field day with such a story. Vartui was such a lover of those kinds of tales. "You do not see dead people," she said with a small sigh, lips quirking as she peered down at the woman now on her butt in the dirt, and disengaged. Her shoulders dropped, her spine went from straight to a small slouch, and rigid awareness slid away to allow more focus on the senshi and her tale. "That is kind of a disappointment. Fighting battles as a ghost, I would think you might have gotten something out of it."

Her sparring partner was on the ground, and Titanite bent at the waist to offer her hand. "I have 11 siblings, two mothers, a father, almost a dozen aunts and uncles, my grandparents are alive, I have nieces. Nephews. And on my birthday they all call to tell me they love me, even though I know they do not approve of what I do as a civilian. To become someone else would be to give them up, and I... I am not that strong." the people on the side of Order she had met... they were usually good people, if not exactly committed. But... "I do like friends, though."

"If all of the Negaverse was like me, we would not have a war. We would be too lazy to fight an actual war, and more inclined to just paintball fight it out. And our enemies would be much better trained and equipped." her eyes were dancing with laughter as she tugged the senshi up, and reached out with her other hand, tapping her on the leg. "Watch this one. You kicked me hard, very good." But could be sore if the senshi forgot and overstressed herself.

She knew little about this HITS, but if good had come of this spirit experience, then how could she judge? "I suppose it is something." she agreed as she ensured that Tian was solid on her feet.

And then she lifted the woman's hand, kissing her fingers and tossing her a saucy wink. "I enjoy friends," she said easily, "much more than enemies. They are more pleasant to spend time with, less likely to punch you in the face when you are not sparring. Get home safely, Tian." it was true about Titanite's love for her family being... something. Perhaps it made her still a child. Perhaps a gentle soul? She was not sure, herself.

"Perhaps I will meet you another night."